Powers That Be
by DiscordantHarmony426
Summary: After strange iridescent cracks in the sky begin appearing, some of the residents of Royal Woods begin exhibiting anomalous powers but when the terrors of the SCP Foundation begin leaking out, can these not so super-heroes fight back? And could there be an even greater threat on the horizon?
1. Linked Memories

I wake up in a small room, there is a bed and dresser inside. I go to the closet and pull on my orange polo, a set of jeans and take my ARGGH! branded walkie talkie in case my best friend decides to radio me, though I think he's in one of his biweekly therapy sessions today. I slowly open the door to my room and…

A skeleton popped out of the room on the left-hand side, rattling its bones and making a sinister cackling laugh! Dang it, I thought that after Operation: Fear Itself that she took that thing down!

"Apologies, Elder Brother, it appears our macabre sister pranked both of us."

"Wait, what? **LUCY** is pranking us now? I thought that was Luan's schtick?"

"So, did I, but I assure you, my osteoskeletal model will be taken down. Anyway, I'm much too busy with my research to bother with your emotional trivialities. Begone."

She shuts the door to the room.

"Sorry about that, readers. But that green shirt brunette with comically large glasses is my sister, Lisa. She's a child prodigy, having earned a doctorate of science at age 4, all of us are still wondering how she did it. She's well known in the scientific community, especially in the Nordic countries, since she has spoken at a conference in Sweden and the Norwegian government has given her grant money for research. She and our youngest sister, Lily share a room. I can't tell you much about her, since she's 1 and ¼ years old, but what we know so far is that she is a creative spirit with light blond hair that loves ice cream and the color lilac."

Sounds of fighting are heard in the room parallel to Lisa's room, on the right-hand side.

"LANA! WHERE'S MY HOT PINK PRINCESS DRESS?!"

"YOU'RE WEARING IT RIGHT NOW!'

"YOU UNCULTURED PHILISTINE, THIS IS FUCHSIA, NOT HOT PINK!"

"LOOK, I KNOW YOU HAVE SOME STUPID PAGEANT GOING ON…"

"HOW DARE YOU, THIS IS THE TOXIC TERRORS PAGEANT, AND I HAVE TO SHOW UP THAT LINDSAY SWEETWATER AND PRESERVE MY CROWN!"

"Oh dear…"

I enter this room and see a blond-haired princess and a blonde-haired kid wearing overalls and a red hat fighting each other again. Both of them notice me and make me the tiebreaker in yet another one of their quarrels.

"Lincoln, Lana doesn't understand I have to keep my winning streak alive. Get her to help me prepare for my pageant!"

"Lincoln, Lola is just being her bossy self once again to rope me into helping her with something she knows she's going to win!"

"Well no, I did get 4th place in that southeastern Michigan pageant…"

"Exactly, so why do you care so much about winning?!"

I've heard enough.

"Both of you, quiet!"

They look at me.

"Lana, do you remember what F.U.N is?"

"Oh, yeah, that SpongeBob song!"

"Actually, it stands for functional universe value!" We all hear Lisa respond

Lana begins to sing the song, but I interrupt her.

"F is for futile, know that you can't resist; U is for useful, all are cogs in a machine; N is for nothingness, now cease and desist in totality."

Somewhere, a small black-haired girl in goth like attire nods silently at the U.N.F.U.N song in approval.

"That's not how the song was!" Lana protests

"She's right, Linky; Because it was, F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium…bombs, N is for no survivors when you conquer the city."

"Well, that's just completely idiotic."

"I like my version better. Anyways, Lana, help Lola with her pageant."

Lola fist pumps the air, her brother finally sided with her instead of Lana for once! She was about to do a celebratory dance before I interrupt her.

"If you do a Fortnite dance, I'm changing my mind!"

I sigh as she decides to salvage some of her dignity by not doing something that the entire world would cringe at. I see that Lana is indignant at having to help Lola.

"Don't worry about it, Lans. Once Lola is at the pageant, you can do anything you want without her bothering you until she gets back."

"Alright, fine."

I leave them and head toward the second left room. It is parallel to the stairs heading toward the living room, as I do so, I speak to you.

"Those two are Lola and Lana, they're polar opposite twins, with Lola being into all things princess-like and Lana being a tomboy that loves nature and mechanics. They are both 6 years old, but the odd thing is that Lana is older by 2 minutes and she is scared of Lola; To be fair, we all are. But maybe Lola can apply to be the Lil' Ms. Ultimate Psychopath…huh, she does kind of remind me of her, now that I think about it. Anyways, you've only met half of my crazy family."

I open the door to the room, only to find the room devoid of sisters.

"Well, Since Lynn isn't here, I'll give you a quick rundown. She is 13 years old, is kind of short, is an athlete, is a brunette, is tenacious but also arrogant if she wins believe in superstitions more than her roommate, and loves spicy food. She ate 8 of those Carolina Reaper Fries from Taco Bell during a carbo-loading session and she didn't even notice it was spicy! She even put diablo sauce on it! Meanwhile, her teammates couldn't even handle the spicy ranch on their Cheesy Gordita Crunches! I heard that Flip's bathroom was destroyed because of that!"

I prepare to head to the next room, but I run into a small object.

"Hey, Lincoln."

"AAAGH! Oh, hey Luce."

"I heard you talking about us to the Great Old Ones, so I thought I'd introduce myself."

"Great Old Ones? Lucy, we aren't in some Lovecraftian horror story…"

"I know, that's just what I call the cosmic entities that watch us."

"How do you know about that?"

"You talk to no one sometimes, so there might be some transuniversal portal that you can talk through."

"Well, Lisa did build that Dimensional Watch in a dream I once had…oh…right. That wasn't real…"

"Anyways…"

She turns to face the 4th wall.

"I'm Lucy Loud. I am an 8-year-old girl that is into morbid and macabre stuff. My hobbies are poetry and running the morticians club, with fellow co-president and my friend, Haiku. I hang out at the cemetery sometimes to get inspiration for my poems, with which my brother sometimes helps out with. I have a pet bat named Fangs that sometimes keeps me company. Well, I should let Lincoln have his introduction back…"

She leaves…well, that was awkward, but at least it saves me the trouble of explaining her to you.

I move on to the final room on the left, my eardrums practically burst hearing Megalovania being played at supermax volume by one of my sisters, but at least it drowns out the terrible puns that her roommate tells.

"Lincoln!"

The two of them immediately stop what they're doing and proceed to argue. I really should have kept those Noise B Gone earplugs…

"It's your fault for playing your music too loud! People in Detroit can hear you! No wonder Mr. Grouse yells at you most of the time!"

"It'd be doing them a favor, since they can't hear your terrible puns!"

"I'm surprised we haven't gone deaf yet! No wonder Lincoln bought those earplugs!"

"He was ignoring us, that's why we had Lola emotionally manipulate him!"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

A girl with a brown ponytail comes over to help me. Luckily the tinnitus I had stopped so I can hear her.

"Lincoln, are you ok?"

"What, no glib remark? No pithy comeback?"

"This isn't the time for jokes. Seriously, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I think I'm fine now."

"Luna and her music are going to make everyone deaf!"

"Please, Lisa's chemical explosions will do that."

"I'm going to get something there that I left behind."

She enters the room, grabs a pair of headphones and leaves.

"You know, Linc, those earplugs were a great idea, that's why I got these."

"What is it?"

"A pair of headphones that can block even Luna's music. The inside is made of the same things that YouTubers use on their walls to dampen sound!"

"Awesome!"

"Well, wish me luck. I've got to perform for some kid's birthday party."

"Oh, you don't need my help?"

"No, I'll take this one solo."

With that, she puts on the headphones and prepares to practice her routine.

"So, that was Luan, she's the scariest out of all the sisters I have. She's 14 years old, loves pranks and puns and will do anything for a laugh. Her favorite color is yellow. And just between you and me, Mr. Coconuts said she finally asked her classmate/boyfriend Benny out. But enough about that, she only really dangerous on April Fools' Day. Her roommate is Luna, she sports a pixie cut. She's 15, loves the color purple, is an anglophile and is the resident musician in our family. She has caused at least 5 separate blackouts, and is responsible for at least 77 percent of all of Mr. Grouse's noise complaints. She's also dating a girl named Sam, but for some reason people are freaking out about it, I don't know why."

Luna is too busy making music to pay me any mind.

"And the last room is for our eldest sisters, I can't enter their room because our totalitarian eldest sister put a security passcode on the door. I don't know how our second eldest can get in when she forgets the passcode each time. But thanks to Lisa, I can disable the system with this!"

I pull out a what looks like a taser, I electrocute the panel, frying it and disabling the security system. No one is here.

"Ah, they're not here. Well, I'll just rush through this quickly. Our oldest sister is Lori, she's 17 and wears a cyan tank top. She is a bossy blonde-haired girl who is obsessive over Roberto Alejandro Martinez Millan Luis Santiago Jr., or Bobby for short. She has a superiority complex and is the only one of us who can drive. She is not above extortion to get what she wants. Leni, on the other hand is 16, and an aspiring fashionista. Her favorite color is monochrome but she wears turquoise. She works at Reiningers part time and is probably the most responsible one of us. It feels so weird to be saying that about Leni, but it's true. She is a worse driver than SpongeBob SquarePants, even though she would have passed had Lori not intervened that one time. She is also the nicest out of all of us, but she really isn't intelligent on anything that isn't fashion."

I finish explaining every sister in my family.

"Oh, right. I'm Lincoln Loud. I'm 11 years old. My favorite color is orange and I like video games and comic books. I also enjoy making models and coin collecting from time to time. We all live at 1216 Franklin Avenue in Royal Woods, Michigan. And that is a brief overview on all of us kids."

I walk outside and head toward my favorite hangout, Gus' Games and Grub when I notice a small tear in the sky. It looks iridescent and bathes me in a strange light…

Oh well, I'm sure it's nothing.


	2. Lunar Harmony

**Track featured: Frame of Mind by Braken and Tristam**

"Oh wow, sans made it into Smash Ultimate as a costume!"

Well, we all know what that means.

I start drumming Megalovania in honor of this achievement.

"Luna, turn it down! It's too loud!"

"Sorry brah, there's only one volume control, and that's 12!"

I continue drumming, annoying our grouchy neighbor…I do that a lot…

"**LOUD!** Knock off that racket!"

I'm playing too loud to hear Mr. Grouse's complaints.

"Turn it down or I'll unplug your amps!"

"No way, I'm into the zone."

"Check to break, no need to hate."

I'm so confused at that response.

"Oh, that's from some Canadian rhythm game that I saw Lincoln playing a few times."

"Okay…?"

"Anyways…Lincoln should be passing by our room soon and knowing him, you'll make him deaf and ruin his arcade dreams."

Did she just…?!

"No one insults my music like that!"

I turn up the volume way past the Spinal Tap setting and blare out a harsh cord. The sound wave opens the door a little and shows my little bro on the ground holding his ears.

"Lincoln!"

Luan glowers at me. It's his fault for getting too close. It's like expecting to not go deaf after firing a shotgun.

"It's your fault for playing your music too loud! People in Detroit can hear you! No wonder Mr. Grouse yells at you most of the time!"

"It'd be doing them a favor, since they can't hear your terrible puns!"

"I'm surprised we haven't gone deaf yet! No wonder Lincoln bought those earplugs!"

"He was ignoring us, that's why we had Lola emotionally manipulate him!"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

I can't believe she's arguing with me and taking his side when he could hear my jams! If people from Detroit could hear them, then he definitely should! I can't believe she treats Lincoln like some kind of saint when he gets himself into trouble.

Luan says something to Lincoln and puts on those Waveform-0 Headphones. She got them after the Noise B Gone incident in which we all had tinnitus for about 2 hours because Lincoln though Lisa was joking about her science experiment. Ha…Lisa never jokes. I'm kind of insulted that she got them…who wouldn't want to hear me. I admit I'm no Mick Swagger, but…

"You know, you could have done some real damage today."

"What do you mean?!"

"How about making everyone within a 5-block radius deaf?! Getting a $750 ticket for noise violation! Getting your 100th complaint from Mr. Grouse!"

She does one of her April Fools' laughs.

"And the worst part is, you and Lisa drag the rest of us down with you! Since you two make up 80% of all the town's complaints!"

I'm one step from telling her to sod off and look at herself in the mirror.

"Anyway, you want to contribute to the noise pollution in Michigan, be my guest. I'm going to practice my routine in the living room."

Luan storms off in a huff, taking her comedy supplies with her. Well, at least she left me to practice in peace…I turn off the amps and begin playing on my synthesizer for a few minutes to cool off from our argument when my cellphone rings. Checking it, and I see it's from my blonde beauty. My girlfriend, Sam, wants to hang out today. Well, after that Astonishing Quest team activity a few months back, I think our relationship is really progressing well. Since we both like music, a duet should be perfect. I've been listening to some indie artists in my spare time and recently, I think I found the perfect song.

* * *

I save the lyrics to my phone and head over to where she wanted to meet up. I slowly walk over and see Sam sitting on a bench at Ketcham Park. I join her.

"Hey, Lunes."

"Hey, Sam."

"So, while I did call you for our meet up, I'm curious as to what you've planned for us to do today."

"Well, we both love music, so it only makes sense for us sing to each other. I think I found the perfect song for a duet."

I show her the lyrics. She has questioning look on her face. I notice this and try to backpedal.

"I know, it's no Mick Swagger song, but…"

"No, we can sing it, Luna."

"Oh, radical! I'll start singing it."

_For now, you can stay  
Right here we will play  
Until somehow you can find  
A slightly different frame of mind_

_Right here in my arms  
Away from all harm  
You'll be safe from all the flares  
Although I know you don't care_

_Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh..._

_You can lift your head up to the sky  
Take a deeper breath and give it time  
You can walk the path among the lines  
With your shattered frame of mind  
Withstand, you could always stay  
We can wait right here and play  
Until somehow you can find  
A slightly better frame of mind  
_

_Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh..._

Sam joins in and sings the second verse of the song.

**When they say you will fall  
You can reach nothing at all  
Hide your tracks, beneath the line  
Of a different frame of mind**

**Is it that what you've heard?  
Broken words in the dirt  
Yelling out into the sun  
Here we come, here we come**

**Oohh...**

**Here we come, here we come**

**Oohh...  
Oohh...**

**Here we come, here we come**

**Oohh...**

**You can lift your head up to the sky  
Take a deeper breath and give it time  
You can walk the path among the lines  
With your shattered frame of mind  
Withstand, you could always stay  
We can wait right here and play  
Until somehow you can find  
A slightly better frame of mind**

**Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh...**

We both sing the chorus verse. Our voices harmonize in sync with one another.

_**You can lift your head up to the sky  
Take a deeper breath and give it time  
You can walk the path among the lines  
With your shattered frame of mind  
Withstand, you could always stay  
We can wait right here and play  
Until somehow you can find  
A slightly better frame of mind**_

_**And when daylight comes through  
When the day is a new  
Then it will be time  
For a new frame of mind**_

_**When all eyes are on you  
You will know what to do  
Since you would have found  
Your new frame of mind**_

_**When you lift your head up to the sky  
Take a deeper breath and give it time  
You can walk the path among the lines  
**_

_**But always know that you'll be safe  
I'll be here throughout your days  
Come find me and we will play**_

"That was actually pretty awesome!"

"You really think so?"

"Luna, I know so. It was so awesome that some people were even looking at us performing."

"You know, the two people who performed this song are best friends, but I think this song has many more meanings than the original one. It was performed by 2 Canadian indie artists, Braken and Tristam; The song is called "Frame of Mind".

With that explained, I look in the general direction of where a crowd of onlookers are gazing and I see a colorful crack in the sky.

"Woah, where did this light show come from?"

"It just showed up and covered us in a mysterious aura. On the plus side, it made you cuter!"

I blush at the complement.

"Well, this hangout has been fun, but I should probably head back home. See you at school?"

"Yeah. I'll be waiting."

I eagerly head back home. This hangout/totally not a date went amazing! I can't wait to reminisce about it!


	3. Unexpected Contact

**Note: any Greek letters used for MTFs will be represented by their capital letter; E.G: Alpha=Α, Heta=****Η,** **Lambda=Λ, Sigma=Σ E.G.2: Alpha-9: Last Hope=A9 (shorthand) or A9, Last Hope (official)**

"Apologies, Elder Brother, it appears our macabre sister pranked both of us."

"Wait, what? **LUCY** is pranking us now? I thought that was Luan's schtick?"

"So, did I, but I assure you, my osteoskeletal model will be taken down. Anyway, I'm much too busy with my research to bother with your emotional trivialities. Begone."

I shut the door to mine and Lily's room. I'm waiting for something…you see, earlier this year, I thought I'd help out our parental units by getting an occupation in science. I had quit my job as a college professor after I realized with our current equilibrium in the political spectrum, they are nothing more than overseers of indoctrination. I believe that all knowledge should be free, therefore, I cannot, in good conscience, stay. I mean, I've got a Sc. D at 4 years old! So, I sent out several requests and one of them caught my eye. It had no job description, but it said they would be interested in hiring me. Ordinarily, I would think this a ruse, but I am willing to humor this company. After receiving that email, I've been contacted by someone.

The laptop is receiving a Skype call from a restricted channel.

I've already tried back tracing it. My pen pal told me to knock it off unless I wanted the military involved. Naturally I didn't believe her and a person in SWAT gear showed up at our house.

* * *

_A strange man shows up at the door decked out in SWAT gear…they knock on the door. My parents answer._

"_Officer, what appears to be the trouble?"_

"_Is Lisa Loud in this building?"_

"_She's our daughter, why?"_

"_I am [DATA EXPUNGED], and she tried to back trace a restricted channel that my boss used to interview her. I'm going to need to talk with her."_

_Everyone, clearly shaken up, lets them in. He kicks open the door._

"_Agh! Who are you?!"_

"_You're in a lot of trouble, lady. I'm a member of __Α__1, Red Right Hand, and you tried to hack into a restricted military bases' secure channel; Not to mention, one of my bosses' private communications channel. She sent me here to give a stern warning to you. You're lucky Sophia likes you, kid, because if it was any of the others…"_

_Y-O-U W-O-U-L-D B-E D-E-A-D W-H-E-R-E Y-O-U S-T-A-N-D…_

"_She also told me not to amnesticize you. Anyways, if you do it again, one of us will have to kill you for potentially leaking classified military projects. Good day."_

_As they leave, they drop a gas grenade that my family inhaled the fumes from. They don't remember anything. Yes, they came back for it and removed the evidence._

Yeah, she wasn't joking…

* * *

I'm interrupted from my thought process when the skype call comes through. From what I can see, it appears to be some sort of research laboratory. A woman with slightly curled brown hair that appears to be in her 30s is on the other end.

"Well, little prodigy, I heard you tried to hack us."

…

"Yeah, the council wanted to execute you for that, but I managed to convince our ethics committee to just tell you off. But seriously, don't do that again, you'd normally be executed for leaking any type of classified government projects. And it made me look bad. Not that I really care about that sort of thing."

"So, am I qualified?"

"Well, I personally think so, but there are 13 of us overseers, and you'd need at least 7 of them to approve you, plus a full board review in front of the ethics committee. Just between you and me, everyone here thinks the ethics committee is a group of useless idiots, but they actually run the show, alongside our administrator. I know because I was a former ethics committee member before being demoted to O5-2. At this rate, they might demote me to D-Class."

She laughs at this.

"But hey, as the head of the Department of Morality, they've tasked me with new hires. If you get hired, you'll know. This is a "you won't call us, we'll call you sort of thing". It's just due to the nature of this job. The Foundation is a global military project designed to protect the human race from the anomalous.

I nod in silence.

"We've been operating since 2008 and are officially supported by 12 different countries, as well as unofficially supported by almost all of the others, except North Korea, but they got destroyed in an alternate timeline and Iran, who has a military program researching the anomalous. Russia used to have one, but it's now defunct."

"Alternate timeline?"

"I may have spoken too much, but yes, the many worlds theory does exist in our multiverse. It was in a timeline called the Broken Masquerade, where our organization was exposed to the world. But the broken masquerade has already happened in your universe."

I question what she is talking about.

"There are tears in your dimension, causing something to happen to the populace, we call them Anomalous Bursts. They appear as cracks in the sky and can send things from other dimensions into yours or even transfer anomalous energy to people. Though not everyone exposed to the energy becomes anomalous."

Cracks in the sky? Sounds like something out of a cartoon!

"Now, let me tell you the difference between an anomaly and a peculiarity. It appears one of your sisters is a lesbian. One day, a dashing man from the UK showed up at your house and she was attracted to him. I believe is name was Huge Mungus?"

"It was Hugh."

"Right, sorry. Someone thought it would be funny to send a meme to me. Memes are anomalous to us, too. Anyway, this Hugh has the peculiarity of being so devastatingly handsome that any girl within around a fifteen-year age range, up or down, will be attracted to him, regardless of sexual orientation."

I thought Luna was bisexual.

"In another dimension, perhaps; But not this one."

"Now an anomaly would be if an entity could adapt to everything. We have one of those and we still can't kill him. Or how about a humanoid that can respawn, like in one of those video games."

I am so confused right now.

"All you have to do right now, is record any anomalous behavior. In our line of work, we use the "Locked Box Test". Safe can be contained in a box and nothing will happen. Euclid might have something happen, probably because the anomaly is sentient. Keter can easily break out of the box. Thaumiel is almost always the box and Apollyon…well, there is no box."

"There are also threat levels from white to black, white being an anomaly that helps us, blue which could be beneficial or a threat but we just don't know yet, green which is a threat if not taken care of properly, yellow which is in the middle, orange is kind of dangerous if not recaptured, red is super dangerous and can cause heavy casualties if not recaptured and black which will destroy the world if not immediately taken care of. The committee wants us to update all anomalies with a threat level in case there's ever a chance that the documents get declassified. Which even the administrator admits is probably never going to happen."

"Anyways, I should go…I'll try to help you if I can, but the other O5s kind of have me on lockdown."

"Wait, why are there holes in your hands?"

"Oh, these? I participated in a Philippines crucifixion ritual. It was…interesting. The volunteers even got thrown in a cave for three days just like in the actual story. Some of the devout fundamentalists even wanted to die on the cross, just like their lord and savior, which I personally disapprove of, but if their faith is that strong, who am I to judge? Even though it was all a spectacle, the cave is a futuristic room, I still fasted for those days, just for the authenticity of it. Don't worry, I'm fine now."

* * *

"Hey it's Doctor Bright! Do something crazy for us!"

"Oh, how about this, he'll fire you morons for messing around with an overseer!"

"As if, you don't have clearance."

"Really, cause Doctor Bright is level 4, what are you?"

"Uh, dude. I don't think Doctor Bright reincarnated as a woman."

"Oh please, Doctor Bright reincarnating as a woman is totally a Doctor Bright thing to do. I'm level 5. Checkmate. Now entertain us, mad scientist."

She faces them and shows them what looks like a card with a blue stripe. The two idiots immediately stop.

"Doctor Sophia Light…Overseer Council 2…"

She turns back to the Skype call.

"Just another day at the Foundation…" She says sarcastically as she ends the call

Anomalous Bursts? Alternate dimensions? What kind of craziness is this?!


	4. Lynntrospection

"Hey, It's me…"

The camera turns away from me and begins to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?!"

A humanoid entity gives what appears to be the middle finger towards me.

"What's your problem, buddy?!"

"2165…007152165."

The entity vanishes.

"Dang it, another one left…I suppose I should tell you what's going on."

The camera turns back toward me.

"I am Lynn Loud Jr. I am 13 years old. Go ahead, call me every vile name you can think of. I know I am super competitive. I know that I am willing to sacrifice anything to get a win. I know…that I've…been a horrible sister to him. You all saw the March 13 incident. I know there's nothing that can change that. Even though Lincoln has forgiven me, I still haven't forgiven myself…and Luce still holds a grudge on me for doing so. I don't blame her. Even that sorry excuse that I was bullied by some upperclassmen in high school may have shifted some people's minds. It doesn't change my broken frame of mind. I tried to help Lincoln and his neurotic friend, Clyde to survive in middle school, I mean, it's not like Ned Bigby left us his journal, so we are all on our own. Somehow, I just made everything worse! Apparently, Lincoln has enough charisma to bypass getting shoved in a locker. Man, Lincoln is probably going to be one of the popular kids when he goes to middle school! I'm…proud of him. This monologue was a waste of time. I don't know why Linc said this would help. I don't deserve redemption. I am irredeemable."

* * *

I grab a hula hoop and a Frisbee™ and prepare to head out to Ketcham Park. There's a Frisbee Golf tournament and I want to compete in it. Lucy isn't here, so she's probably in the chimney trying to be a Santa Claus impersonator. She has the right idea, I would want to avoid people a much as possible too. I began walking toward the park as dark thoughts plague my mind.

"_You call yourself a caring sibling, sibling abuser?"_

"_Never forget March 13."_

"_Win at all costs, even your family's trust."_

"_You are irredeemable."_

"_I know the truth; Your sorry masquerade will be broken."_

"_You don't deserve forgiveness."_

"_There's no excuse for your actions."_

"_You are the next part of this vicious cycle which has no end."_

Lost in my thoughts, I eventually arrive at the part. I begin to set up my game.

"_Sports can't mask the pain you feel inside."_

I begin to hide my pain by overplaying and despite my lack of focus, I manage to play 15 rounds. When preparing for the 16th change, I manage to spy Luna hanging out with Sam, but it's none of my business, so I don't spy on them. Besides, I have a game to practice. I walk through a rainbow light as I begin setting up the 16th "hole", if you could even call it that I begin to throw the Frisbee™ and…the wind made it go slightly to the left. I throw it in the hoop for an eagle. I prepare to pack up and set up a 17th round when I see two hulking brutes walking around the park. One of the is a black-haired mestizo and the other is a brown-haired white guy. I think they are linebackers for Hazeltucky's football team. Judging by their barbaric physique, I think they take steroids to get an unfair advantage. Lincoln's team was filled with scrawny weaklings, so I may be right. Hazeltucky is Royal Woods' greatest rival town. Beaverton and Fern Valley are nothing compared to them! The two thugs notice me, but I could care less.

I throw the Frisbee™, but the mestizo kid catches it.

* * *

"Hey squirt, you dropped this."

He throws it as hard as possible back towards me. I catch it.

"Hey, pint-size! Don't you know who we are?!"

"Oh, you're steroid abusing football players from Hazeltucky. Of course, they have to resort to cheating to beat Royal Woods."

"Hey, haven't we seen you before?"

"Well, you trashed our street, so we all know who you are, Hank and Hawk."

The two thugs are surprised I know their names.

"Worst decision of our lives, they had hardly any milk chocolate!"

"That reminds me, bro. We still need to beat up that white-haired punk for stealing our candy that we stole."

"Hey kid, are you related to Lincoln Loud? We need to thank him for handing that trophy to us."

I don't trust them as far as I can throw them.

"No."

"Come on. Do you really think we're that stupid?! We know that you scared us in that corn maze last Halloween."

"That was for stealing our neighbors' candy and vandalizing our street."

"Well…"

The two thugs begin punching their own hands. It looks like it's beatdown time…

"It's time for you to receive your complementary beating from us!"

Immediately, a fight breaks out. I try throwing a punch but Hawk grabs my arm and spins it around, a sickening crunch is heard.

"Did you really think you could take both of us?"

He draws back his meaty fist and drives it into my stomach. I gasp in pain. Hank kicks me in the head.

"Not even going to fight back?"

I try to kick Hawk's arm away, but he flips me over. They begin punching me in the eyes, nose, cheek and kicking my chest, knees and legs. The onlookers call the cops on them, but I manage to stagger upwards a grab Hank by the arm.

"Enough!"

I shoulder tackle him out of the way, which only knocks him a few centimeters back. I then sidestep dodge Hawk's attempt to grab me and deck him in the back of the head. I manage to pin his arm and it immediately breaks apart and flows into me. Some of the more noticeable injuries begin to heal. Hawk's entire left arm is gone.

"What the fuck?! What happened to my arm?! Bro, lets get out of here before the cops show up!"

"Dude, we managed to make her bleed bad, I can't stand blood! Let's bail!"

* * *

The cops show up and, after interviewing the onlookers, offered me a ride home. I accepted. I head back to my room.

"What happened to you?!"

"Oh, nothing. It's just those barbarians that Lincoln pissed off almost killed me."

"Did you call the cops?"

"They already know. There's a town wide manhunt for them going on right now."

"So, did anything interesting happen today?"

"Well, one of the thug's arms vanished from some reason."

"Strange. Tell me more."

"I…kind of just want to be left alone, Lisa."

"Understood. I'll let you recover, but I will research this further."


	5. Overglorified

"I can't believe that mom and dad wanted me to babysit Lily on today, of all days! Oh, great. And now there are cosmic entities observing us. Lincoln told us all about you and Lola told you about how great she is, in typical Lola fashion. But hey, she did admit to you that she's a mischievous little brat, didn't she? I bet you all think everything would all fall apart when I move to Great Lakes City for college and [DATA REDACTED]. Well, you'd be right."

I stop my train of thought and begin strolling Lily around the town. Ketcham Park was my first choice but it seems like everyone else had the same idea. I should be having an 18-hour conversation with my precious Bobby Boo Boo Bear! Well, at least there is one upside to this. Lily won't have to be around Lisa. Lincoln told us about her plan to electrocute Lily for science. Lily would have gotten a lollypop if she's still alive.

"Cosmic entities, you might want to find something else to do. There's nothing interesting here."

* * *

As I continue wandering aimlessly, a crack in the sky emerges, the iridescent glow emanating from within mesmerizes Lily as it bathes us in a dazzling rainbow aura. A small white crystal falls from the crack. I pick it up. An immense burning sensation is felt within my palms. I drop the crystal in pain.

"Oh, you shouldn't touch that crystal. Polytrope utilizes the power of thermodynamics to twist ionic space plasma and catalyzes it, using it as an energy source!"

I don't understand science-speak. I think only Lisa can explain that to us.

"Of course, why would I expect anyone else but Lisa to understand? In layman's terms, it uses plasma as a power source and uses it to create wormholes. It is one of the five Infinity Crystals. Now, can you give it back? My friend needs it to finish his narrative."

"Sure, you can have it back."

"Great."

A humanoid entity emerges from the crack. It creates string like protrusions and uses them to capture the Polytrope crystal.

"What are you?"

"Not that it is important to this metanarrative, but if I must. My name is Nice Try, and that is all you need to know. Anyways, I need to deliver this to dimension A-113."

"Oh, is that the Pixar dimension?"

"No, it's the dimension where my friend got kicked in the nuts. It was kind of funny."

"Is it?"

"Well, he wrote for that to happen to himself; So, it's not like he didn't see it coming. I am from dimension EXTS-411. I don't know why the narrative would use this version of me, it's trash! They should have used the EXTS-COR-DR-522 version! They are way cooler! Anyways, thanks for recovering it, now he can finish his story."

The entity leaves through the crack. It seems that these are dimensional gateways. The crack seals itself back up once they leave, as if the sky never cracked in the first place. Could there be others like it?

* * *

I see a man singing about…some soulful blues song about Virginia. I listen to the lyrics.

_Carry me back to old Virginny.  
__There's where the cotton and corn and taters grow.  
__There's where the birds warble sweet in the spring-time.  
__There's where this old darkey's heart am long'd to go._

_There's where I labored so hard for old Massa,  
__Day after day in the field of yellow corn;  
__No place on earth do I love more sincerely  
__Than old Virginny, the state where I was born._

_Carry me back to old Virginny.  
__There's where the cotton and the corn and taters grow;  
__There's where the birds warble sweet in the spring-time.  
__There's where this old darkey's heart am long'd to go._

_Carry me back to old Virginny,  
__There let me live till I wither and decay.  
__Long by the old Dismal Swamp have I wandered,  
__There's where this old darkey's life will pass away._

_Massa and Missis have long gone before me,  
__Soon we will meet on that bright and golden shore.  
__There we'll be happy and free from all sorrow,  
__There's where we'll meet and we'll never part no more._

"That's a beautiful song. Where did you learn it from?"

"Well, lil Ms., it's the anthem of the great southern state of Virginia."

"Ah, so what brings you to Royal Woods?"

"I'm just passing through. I'm heading up toward Minnesota to try something called Putin. It's some cheese fries with gravy that you can only get in Canada. I heard from word of mouth that it's apparently really good. There's no way that gravy cheese fries can be _**that**_ good, so I'm trying them for myself."

"Are you from Virginia?"

"Yep, Dawsonville. Just 7 minutes away from Ruckersville."

* * *

At that moment when he mentioned that town, something strange happened. I saw a Fallout terminal within the town. The sky swirls in an ominous fashion. My siblings and I, along with two people I do not know stand in defiance of four super powerful entities. The center figure appears to command the others. It looks like a man? Woman? Ze? Humanoid abomination?

_Where did it all go wrong? I'm here at Ruckersville, Virginia and it appears we are finally here. We never believed the madman, but he was right. The dimensions of C-197 and E-1218 as well as all others are beginning the process of Singularity, where all dimensions will become one. As you can see, several brave heroes from across all dimensions are standing up to the Tyrant Goddess and her Archons of Destruction. This isn't about just the destruction of Ruckersville, Virginia, The US, or even the Earth itself. All will cease to exist if she succeeds! Go now, heroes! Save all of our dimensions! If they fail, it has been an honor following these sagas. Last Terminal Network, from the last terminal, signing out for the last time. Goodbye. _

The vision ends. What was that? Ruckersville is going to become a post-apocalyptic hellhole?

"Well, it's been nice talking you, goodbye."

The tourist leaves and I start to head back home. What was that about…it seems like something horrible will happen to Virginia sometime. Why did I have a vision like that? It's like that Xenoblade character that Lincoln saw on Emilie Rosales' YouTube channel. I wonder if we're going to have to kill a god, just like in the game? I need to learn how to control this ability.


	6. Luantic

I leave my callous sister's room and begin practicing my comedy routine. It has come to my attention (mostly by Lincoln telling me) that you out there in another dimension don't like my jokes and that there's at least 296 reasons why. But I hear you say, "But I like your jokes, Luan; You're the comedienne we know of right now." Well, to the 200,000 of you that feel that way…thank you, it means a lot. Even though I know that 50,000 subscribe to me on NashTelevideniye. The ADCP (American Democratic Communist Party) changed YouTube into наштелевидение, but I heard the communists say that "based Russian bots" have unpersoned anyone who refers to the site as NTTI or some corruption of it, even though it is an entity of communism. Not to worry though, tovarishes, you can still expect the same brand of comedy before the means of video production were seized.

"Who am I kidding, those 50,000 people think I'm a joke. Do you think I'm a joke, too, cosmic entities?"

Well, I know that you have better things to do with your own lives, so I'll just omit the parts that you don't care about.

I get all of my comedy stuff and head out to where the birthday kid is having their party at. Maybe I should have took Lincoln's offer to help me. No, I can do this by myself, after all the things I've made him do for me, across all of the gigs he helped with, he deserves a break.

Since I know most of you don't like my performances, I'll just skip to the part where a crack in the sky opens up and covers me with an iridescent glow.

"Woah…such cool special effects…"

* * *

I glance up at the what all the birthday kids were gawking at. There appears to be a large crack in the sky emanating a rainbow glow. My performance naturally made me cross directly under it. While the crowds were cheering initially, after about 5 minutes the crowd starts jeering.

"Boo!"

"You suck!"

"Why didn't the birthday kid get Kathy Griffin instead?"

"Yellow girl bad!"

"Chuck Schumer is a bigger joke than you, at least he's funny!"

"What's yellow and puts people to sleep? Not noxious gas, apparently!"

"How were 50,000 people braindead enough to like your comedy on NT?"

"I would rather blow Amy Schumer's vagina for an hour rather than waste money on you!"

Gross, but come on! Even though I make bad puns, there's no way that I could be worse than a political activist, right? You can vouch for me…right…three minutes later, they begin getting all sorts things to strangle me with. Wires, garrotes, jump ropes, nooses, bike chains, actual chains, pool noodles and even their bare hands.

"My hands are absolutely filthy."

* * *

Yeah…I may love making people laugh, but I'm not willing to die for a gig. I get on my unicycle and hightail it out of there. The strangulation mob begins to chase after me like a pack of NPCs running after a fat man eating Cheetos™. I eventually manage to lose them after taking an alternate street and removing my clown disguise. They said something about a pogo stick and the number 33, something about murder? I don't know, I was trying to not get killed. I eventually manage to make it back home.

"You're home early, how's the gig?"

"Oh, I couldn't keep 'em off me."

"Really?"

"Yep, my jokes are so bad, that people are literally trying to kill me for making them."

"Oh, my."

"Its like they were hungry like the wolves."

A rimshot is heard. A Luna approved musical reference.

"They were like feral beasts back there, stopping at nothing to kill me. I managed to ditch them, but I don't think I can go back out there anytime soon. I'll have to call the client and tell them about this."

"Strange, could this be what Sophia meant?"


	7. Elucidation

I was in my usual hiding place, when I saw Lincoln doing his 4th wall thing where he talks to the cosmic entities beyond our dimension. I think he was talking about how Lynn took her team out to Chipotle to celebrate winning some game, I don't know which one since she wins so often, they kind of meld together, and she ate so much spicy food that she destroyed the bathrooms there. The E Coli O-157 H7 that is found naturally in Chipotle food didn't help either, but whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I guess.

"Well, Lucy is probably hiding in the vents again, so I should move on to explaining my other sisters."

I get out of my hiding place and stand near the vicinity of where my brother is.

"Hey, Lincoln."

"AAAGH! Oh, hey Luce."

"I heard you talking about us to the Great Old Ones, so I thought I'd introduce myself."

"Great Old Ones? Lucy, we aren't in some Lovecraftian horror story…"

"I know, that's just what I call the cosmic entities that watch us."

"How do you know about that?"

"You talk to no one sometimes, so there might be some transuniversal portal that you can talk through."

"Well, Lisa did build that Dimensional Watch in a dream I once had…oh…right. That wasn't real…"

"Anyways…"

I turn to face the 4th wall.

"I'm Lucy Loud. I am an 8-year-old girl that is into morbid and macabre stuff. My hobbies are poetry and running the morticians club, with fellow co-president and my friend, Haiku. I hang out at the cemetery sometimes to get inspiration for my poems, with which my brother sometimes helps out with. I have a pet bat named Fangs that sometimes keeps me company. Well, I should let Lincoln have his introduction back…"

* * *

That was probably one of the most awkward experiences ever. Sigh, well at least I can fixate on my poetry, though…Lincoln is the one that gives structure to my poems. But at least when structure falls, and all else fails, I can transcribe it once again.

Remember when I said whatever doesn't kill you make you stronger? That's a reason why I tend to avoid people. You've seen how my siblings are and I am the weakest of our sisters. Even Lily has that new baby strength. I have about the same strength as Lincoln (incapable) so I have to outwit them, which is kind of hard since Lisa is a literal genius and is a known snitch. She told Lynn about Lincoln's Ronnie Anne problem, but I heard it while I was in the vent thinking of yet another poem to write.

I get a call on my cellphone.

"Hey, Luce."

"Haiku? What's going on?"

"We're having a mortician's club meeting and I can't start it with my co-president. We're at our usual meeting place."

Haiku hangs up. The usual place we hang out is at the cemetery. Even though I can slink around the shadows with ease. I cannot teleport, like some of you guys can claim we can do. Even in this comic book world, we can still get hurt and/or die. Toon physics doesn't exist in this dimension.

I take my hand me down bike and pedal my way over to the cemetery. You know, I actually managed to beat Lynn in an endurance race. I guess I should thank Luan for that, since I managed to follow her on the Giggling Geezer's tour bus for six blocks!

While pedaling I see that there's a crack in the sky, I pass through an iridescent aura just as it closes. I begin getting a headache and have a delirious vision. Ugh, I hope that some prion didn't leak out and give me CJD. Well it doesn't matter right now, I can't miss the meeting; The club is counting on me!

I part my hair and see a hazy silhouette of purple. That must be Haiku with the other club members. But why do I have a strange compulsion to…

I hear an unholy shriek as my legs move independent from my control. I feel the wind rush past me as I collide with my friend with a force of 264 newtons (Lisa told me that afterwards).

* * *

"Oh, this feels nice."

I snap out of my stupor and see that I am hugging Haiku, much to the disgust of everyone else, including myself. I let go of her and re-cover my eyes.

"Sorry about that."

"Well, now that we're all here, why did you call a meeting?"

"Ugh, why did you make Lucy co-president, Haiku?" Bertrand complains "It was already agreed that we all would have chosen you, Lucy aside. It was a 6 to 1 vote."

"Did you make that scream, Lucy? That was a pretty good 96 impression if it was."

"96? What are you talking about?"

"How could someone know all about horror and not know of the SCP Foundation? Even the normies know about it!" Boris explains "SCP-096-EN is a Euclid class humanoid that's about 8 ft tall, has freakishly long arms, is about as indestructible as a Nokia 3310 and will [DATA EXPUNGED] any poor person that even looks at so much as a pixel of what it actually looks like. Artist renditions are fine, however."

"Now that you mention it, I think a normie did mention something like that. I just though it was one of those terrible creepypastas, so I paid it no mind."

"Oh, that's acceptable. Creepypastas aren't true horror stories, they're just written by wannabe posers."

The meeting was about what we're going to do at school tomorrow. It was actually just more of the same stuff we normally do, so I'll spare you the details, since you already know about us. I begin to leave when Haiku stops me.

"Lucy, why did you hug me?"

"I don't know! I just saw something that looked like you and there was just a sudden urge to hug you. I have no idea why or how this happens! I can't even stop myself! My legs move on their own, and by kilometers too, so it's very fast."

"That is strange. Well, you will tell me what cause this compulsion if you ever figure out what it is, right?"

"Yeah, but this seems to be completely anomalous. I'm not sure it has an explanation."

We both leave the cemetery. I head back to our house.


	8. Aphotic

So, this sidewalk we're on totes leads to an alternate reality; We're going to see the odd, peculiar and even the anomalous. We can get off anytime we like, but we like, can never leave since the anomalous is like, a byproduct of humanity's imagination. We've already entered this twisted dimension where reality is a relative concept. Buckle up, because right now, I'm going to tell you my story of how I ended up in…

The Aphotic Zone.

"So, how was my Rod Serling impression? It was totes cool right? Did it creep you out? Because it creeped me out. Anyways, on with the story…"

_It all started out as a normal day. I was doing my normal routine of getting ready to go to work at Reiningers, my favorite shopping center at the mall (which is saying a lot considering I am a shopping expert) [Hey there are my thoughts, this is just like what those people that write those cringy stories call…what was it? MSTKKK-ing, mistaking? Mistaking, yeah that's it] {Can it even be MST3King if you're MSTing yourself, Leni? Just focus on the damn flashback!}_

"_Right, Sorry future Leni, anyway. So, I was already to headed to work. Apparently, mom and dad had something to do at Lynn's Table, so they had to leave Lori to babysit Lily just as she set up a romantic date with Bobby and as she told me after the clothes swapping incident, she will not every bring Lily on a Lobby date every again. (It was interesting hearing Lori explain to Bobby about that, but you'll have to get that information out of her.) So, that means Lincoln had to watch over our remaining siblings, I'm sure he already told you with his 4__th__ wall powers (Lola has it, too) [So, we all should have it] {And it can be taught to anyone, since Linky taught it to Ronnie Anne.}_

* * *

_So, I arrive at Reiningers and head to the break room where my coworkers/friends, Miguel and Fiona already there. That was where the weirdness started (For you see, while I was at the bus stop waiting to take me there, I walked under a pretty rainbow crack in the sky, bathing me in a polychromatic aura) [I totes could use that color scheme in one of my designs.]_

"_Hey, Leni!" My friends greet me_

"_Hey, you guys." I cheerfully respond back_

_I glance over at the vending machine for a quick snack to eat. Miguel was already eating his favorite ham and scallion lemon herb goat cheese scones and Fiona was already chugging some sort of fancy iced chai latte which I'm sure has some sort of organic milk in it. (I'm not sure about this, but I think at least one of them is from Fern Valley) [Yeah, maybe Miguel. I mean, Fern Valley is the place where all the hipsters of Michigan go to and if his breakfast is anything to go by, it's definitely fancier than avocado toast] {Now I wonder if either of them are from Hazeltucky, since they are Royal Woods' ultimate rivals in…pretty much everything, my sister Lynn told me that.}_

"_Hmm, I didn't have time to get something from Dim Yum (that place has the best dumplings) [All of us agree.] and I'm feeling extra daring today, if only there was something that can satisfy my cravings."_

_As if on cue, the vending machine transformed from a standard vending machine into a black box with buttons on it. There's no way to see what's inside it, or even what was being offered. {I thought it was a refrigerator at first) [No way, that's totally an ironclad safe] {Whatever it was, I was like, totes hungry, so I could have welded a hole in it to get whatever comestible was inside.}_

"_Woah, did the vending machine just change?!"_

"_Yeah, it looks like a safe now."_

"_Leni, try getting something from it."_

_I inspect the machine, only to have my disappointment immeasurable and my day ruined._

_The machine only accepts Japanese yen, and filthy gaijin like us Americans can't get yen easily. The machine needs 500¥ to work. Dang it, now where can we get some yen?_

"_Hey, look."_

_I look at the break room table to find a pile of yen. Counting it, it appears to be 5000¥ in assorted coins and bills. I put 500¥ in and…_

_The machine gave me a penis. You know, coming from a Japanese vending machine I should have expected this. I still eat it. (I know that some pervs will be looking at me funny for eating it and crack jokes) [You know what, fuck you, it's not like you'd eat it anyway] {It still tasted delicious, if not a little too sweet.}_

"_Wow, Leni. I can't believe you just ate a chocolate dick."_

_The whole room had to keep from snickering at that remark._

"_So, does anyone else want to try their luck?"_

"_I guess I will."_

_Miguel puts in 500¥ and gets a can of Pringles__._

"_Aw yeah, sweet! Sour cream and onion flavor, too!"_

_He begins eating the Pringles._

"_Uh guys, I can't stop eating them."_

"_Yeah Pringles__ are super addictive."_

"_No, I mean I literally can't stop eating them, help."_

_I look at the can. It says Prangles__ and the mascot looks like a demon. Wait…penis shaped chocolate and demon Pringles__ are two specific items from a certain vending machine from…oh, no. Is that really…?!_

"_I hope that was a real can of Pringles__!"_

_The Prangles__ can is replaced with a Pringles__™ can of the same flavor. The cognitohazardous effects immediately cease. _

"_Oh, god! Thank you, Leni! It's like the Pringles__ can was forcing me to do nothing but eat from it. I feel like I gained 25 kilograms just from that alone!"_

"_Guys, I think I recognize this machine. I saw Lucy looking it up once. I think that that is SCP-261-EN, Pan-Dimensional Vending. It's a Japanese vending machine that can dispense any consumable item if one puts at least 500¥ in it. The machine doesn't even have to be plugged in in order for it to work. But sometimes, some of the items aren't compatible with this alternate universe. The more it's used, the more unstable it becomes. It also becomes unstable if it isn't plugged in."_

"_Wow, that's crazy."_

"_This thing is too dangerous, I want a better vending machine."_

_SCP-261-EN immediately gets replaced by another vending machine. Unfortunately, it's another SCP. And even the normies know about this one if they've played Containment Breach._

"_Hey, isn't that SCP-294-EN? The Coffee Machine?"_

_We are immediately called to work by our boss. We must have been in the break room a while. Ah, well it was a slow day, so we took our lunch breaks and see that the coffee machine is still there._

"_Well, we already know what this one does."_

"_Yeah, I just want the old vending machine back."_

_261-EN appears to replace 294-EN._

"_No, I mean the old vending machine."_

_The original vending machine replaces 261-EN._

_Well, after all that craziness, I want some pizza."_

"_How about some Little Caesars__? I know a pizza we can split."_

_A Little Caesars__ pizza box shows up. Whatever it is, it will be great; No one knows what it is, because it's 458, the wondrous pizza box! I heard that some cosmic entity chants that every time their family gets Little Caesars__. It's kind of cute._

_I'm not allowed to tell you what pizza it was because [DATA REDACTED] so until then, you can all use your imaginations as to what the pizza was._

"_Well, that was delicious."_

"_Now to send the pizza box back to where it belongs."_

_The pizza box vanishes._

* * *

_The rest of the day was uneventful. There was only like 20 customers today and they were all spread out. Maybe because we had a super sale only like 2 weeks ago. I said goodbye to my friends and headed back home. Why did those two vending machines pop up? Does this mean the SCP Foundation is real? Is this all some elaborate prank? Does this mean we have entered a broken masquerade situation? Why was that stuff randomly appearing out of thin air? The sky breaking, I totes get that. I saw it on Ed, Edd and Eddy once, and even though Antonucci's world is more surreal than The Persistence of Memory, there are stranger things happening in our world._

_If only I had known that this would be the beginning of the end. The lives of everyone, my friends, family and everyone I cherish…all of their fates would be in my hands. I needn't suffer alone but I would be the one to lead them through the shadows of the valley of death. Ut victoria an moreremur…_

_This is the way it ends._


	9. Typecast

"Lincoln, Lana doesn't understand I have to keep my winning streak alive. Get her to help me prepare for my pageant!"

"Lincoln, Lola is just being her bossy self once again to rope me into helping her with something she knows she's going to win!"

"Well no, I did get 4th place in that southeastern Michigan pageant…"

"Exactly, so why do you care so much about winning?!"

Lincoln has heard enough.

"Both of you, quiet!"

We look at him.

"Lana, do you remember what F.U.N is?"

"Oh, yeah, that SpongeBob song!"

"Actually, it stands for functional universe value!" We all hear Lisa respond

I begin to sing the song, but Lincoln interrupts me.

"F is for futile, know that you can't resist; U is for useful, all are cogs in a machine; N is for nothingness, now cease and desist in totality."

Somewhere, a small black-haired girl in goth like attire nods silently at the U.N.F.U.N song in approval.

"That's not how the song was!" I protest

"She's right, Linky; Because it was, F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium…bombs, N is for no survivors when you conquer the city."

"Well, that's just completely idiotic."

"I like my version better. Anyways, Lana, help Lola with her pageant."

Lola fist pumps the air, her brother finally sided with her instead of me for once! She was about to do a celebratory dance before Lincoln interrupts her.

"If you do a Fortnite dance, I'm changing my mind!"

Lincoln sighs as Lola decides to salvage some of her dignity by not doing something that the entire world would cringe at. Our brother sees that I am indignant at having to help Lola.

"Don't worry about it, Lans. Once Lola is at the pageant, you can do anything you want without her bothering you until she gets back."

"Alright, fine."

* * *

As funny as it would be to see Lola humiliate herself by doing a cringy Fortnite dance, we all know nobody wants to see that, not even 9-year-olds. So, do you expect me to find my prissy twin's perfect dress? Well, you're too late. As soon as Lincoln left, she found it in her closet, alongside all the other pink dresses she owns. She must be colorblind or something. Anyways, after she left, I decided to walk outside and play in the mud.

It was a sunny day so there's no mud, but at least there was a rainbow I walked under. Oh well, I guess I'll watch some SpongeBob.

I turn on the TV, miraculously the episode Band Geeks was on. Lincoln told me everyone, even cosmic entities love this episode because finally, for once in his miserable life, Squidward Quincy Tentacles, voted most likely to suck eggs in high school, _**won**_. He managed to play for the Bubble Bowl while David Glen Eisley's masterpiece "Sweet Victory" plays.

"Okay, football fans. Put your hands together for the Bikini Bottom Super Band!"

So, SpongeBob can time travel. This was proven in SB-129, but this time they didn't even need a time machine! They traveled back to 1985, when the Memphis Showboats and the Tampa Bay Bandits were playing! The date was March 29. It can't be wrong, I got it off Wikipedia. This episode was made September 7, 2001.

Squidward is about to get humiliated by his snobbish rival, Squilliam Fancyson and he had just about given up on the band…

"[Nervously] Alright, everybody. [Glances at Squilliam, who grins and bounces his unibrow] Let's get this over with. 1, 2, 3, 4..."

Gee, if only a SpongeBob fan would have actually been there!

I get close to the TV and all of a sudden, it pulls me in! What the heck, this isn't like 1128-EN where you can somehow get pulled into a glass of water! There's nothing wrong with this TV, and I don't recognize the bodies in the water where 1128-EN resides!

* * *

I wake up in the stadium's past…everything seems to be in some sort of stasis. Well, that sucks! I wanted to experience a live performance of a masterpiece. I saw from a webpage that Lincoln saw on the Internet that in order to time travel, we need Japanese maple sap, an ability to feel music and we need to get into the zone with an instrumental from the 80s. Well, the Internet said that this is called the K(AY?)-DAY method. But, shouldn't it be J(AY?)-DAY? K is for Korea, I mean, look at K-POP; Therefore, J would be for Japan. Welp, I have none of those things, so I guess I'm stuck in a time stopped version of 1985.

A portal appears and I go through it. I end up back in the house as time flows back to normal…weird.

I try testing this out on a few things. First, Lincoln's dorky superhero comic books. I go through until I find something. It's in Japanese, so I can't read it. I don't think Lincoln understands Japanese, so I don't think he can understand it either. The title is ぼく の へろ あかでみあ and has a picture of a really buff Japanese Superman on the cover. Well, here goes nothing.

I enter the manga, like the show, everything has stopped. I see some Japanese kid clad in green run toward a pile of living sludge to save an edgelord looking character. I think I heard Lincoln weeb out once the anime came out. I think his name was Akatsuki and his future hero name was さついじん-てきな ばくはつ (Satsuijin-tekina Bakuhatsu) what was it, Murderous Explosion? Yeah that seemed about right, considering all he does is scream "die!" at people all the time and act like a cocky jerk. No wonder he's a fan favorite! Well, with time stopped, there's nothing we can interact with in here. Time to head back.

I exit the manga through a similar portal. Back at home, I wonder if this ability can work on fanfiction…only one way to find out. I see one that looks interesting and jump in.

This place looks like a desolate wasteland. I think I see our sisters dressed up like cult members. They're praising someone known as the prodigal son. It seems so sad.

"It really is."

A woman that appears to be in her 30s approaches me, she has brown, slightly curled hair and holes in her hands.

"This sad universe died. Over there is where the story "ends". Nothing sadder than an unfinished story. Something about their creator retiring, or something."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Sophia, and am looking at parallel universes, just like you. Only this time, there's no overcomplicated 0.5x A presses to watch out for rolling rocks. These are actual alternate universes. There were more here. One was CD-WIAFD-2…my colleague Green was rather fond of that one and wanted 082-EN to read it. Personally, I find cannibalism rather disturbing and morbid, and the rest of us agreed. I thought your umbra haired sister would like these kind of horror stories, so it's kind of odd to see you here."

"So, there's nothing here?"

"Well, I mean there's endless pain and suffering, if you're into that sort of stuff. But no, not really. I'm about to leave this dimension anyways and head to the library. I'll leave your endeavors up to you."

We leave this dead dimension. I end up back home, but there's one last thing I want to try.

* * *

"How about webcomics? I've got the perfect one. I search up some famous comic by a typing corporation and head in. I chose chapter 100 as this one is relatively safe. This comic appears to show these "SCPs". This chapter focuses on a 239-EN.

"SCP-239-EN, The Witch Child, Object Class: Keter, Threat Level: Black?"

I continue reading.

"SCP-239-EN is an 8-year-old girl that is about 1 meter in height and 20 kilograms in weight. Anything that 239 thinks of will become a reality. 239 can only affect things in her vision, as such, her anomalous ability will not happen if she's asleep. She is nearly invincible because of this. SCP-239-EN has been told she's a witch, which improved her morale greatly. The Foundation has given her a list of "spells" for her to use. Excerpt from Incident 239-B Clef-Kondraki [DATA EXPUNGED]."

I begin to leave, but I notice the machine keeping Typecorp-239 comatose is malfunctioning. Since everything else is frozen in time, this is highly odd and even if it wasn't, the Foundation would execute me for knowing to much/sneaking onto a military base.

The machine explodes in a glorious fashion as 239 slowly comes to. She begins to stand. Immediately, her legs buckle from being in a coma for close to 12 years now. She manages to support herself.

"You, you're not a Foundation personnel, are you?"

"How are you not frozen like the others?!"

"Frozen?"

She looks at the temporally displaced personnel."

"I have no idea."

"Well, this has been interesting."

I leave through a portal before she has a chance to react. Back in reality, I decide that this is enough trans-dimensional fun for today.

* * *

"Wait…don't go…please…"

"SCP-239-EN has breached containment! Get Doctor Clef on the line immediately!"

The name "Doctor Clef" triggers some intense emotions locked within her for 12 years.

That's right. He announced that he was going to kill me over the intercom. It led to a full-scale breach. He won't leave me alone. They won't leave me alone. I just want to go home!

"SCP-239-EN has gone black, repeat 239-EN has gone black!"

"Orders?"

"Terminate immediately. She's too dangerous to be kept alive."

The panels fade to black. Refreshing chapter 100 shows nothing but a black screen and the words [DATA EXPUNGED] written out in red.


	10. Acidify

"We both know that I have 4th wall powers, so I'll tell you what's going on. See, you all know that I'm a pageant powerhouse, right? Well, there's another pageant going on right now. It's called the Toxic Terrors pageant. I don't know what you need to do, but I have to enter to defend my crown from my rivals, especially that Lindsay Sweetwater. You guys think I'm bad? She's easily at least 10 times worse than me. You'd know this if you read the manga of our adventures. Anyway, skip this one, it's just Lola being Lola. And now, back to your regularly scheduled chaos."

"LANA! WHERE'S MY HOT PINK PRINCESS DRESS?!"

"YOU'RE WEARING IT RIGHT NOW!'

"YOU UNCULTURED PHILISTINE, THIS IS FUCHSIA, NOT HOT PINK!"

"LOOK, I KNOW YOU HAVE SOME STUPID PAGEANT GOING ON…"

"HOW DARE YOU, THIS IS THE TOXIC TERRORS PAGEANT, AND I HAVE TO SHOW UP THAT LINDSAY SWEETWATER AND PRESERVE MY CROWN!"

"Oh dear…"

Linky enters our room and sees me and my worse half fighting each other again. We notice him and we make him the tiebreaker in yet another one of their quarrels.

"Lincoln, Lana doesn't understand I have to keep my winning streak alive. Get her to help me prepare for my pageant!"

"Lincoln, Lola is just being her bossy self once again to rope me into helping her with something she knows she's going to win!"

"Well no, I did get 4th place in that southeastern Michigan pageant…"

"Exactly, so why do you care so much about winning?!"

He's heard enough.

"Both of you, quiet!"

We look at him.

"Lana, do you remember what F.U.N is?"

"Oh, yeah, that SpongeBob song!"

"Actually, it stands for functional universe value!" We all hear Lisa respond

Lana begins to sing the song, but Lincoln interrupts her.

"F is for futile, know that you can't resist; U is for useful, all are cogs in a machine; N is for nothingness, now cease and desist in totality."

Somewhere, a small black-haired girl in goth like attire nods silently at the U.N.F.U.N song in approval.

"That's not how the song was!" Lana protests

"She's right, Linky; Because it was, F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium…bombs, N is for no survivors when you conquer the city."

"Well, that's just completely idiotic."

"I like my version better. Anyways, Lana, help Lola with her pageant."

I fist pump the air, Linky finally sided with me instead of Lana for once! I was about to do a celebratory dance before I interrupt her.

"If you do a Fortnite dance, I'm changing my mind!"

* * *

Right, I can't dance without making all the cosmic entities cringe. I still hear complaints about me dabbing in that GoNoodle dance remix video. Sorry, but we are contractually obligated by our Mammonic entity that you guys know as…Vilecom, I think… maybe it was Via com. Something like that. Besides, I'm pretty sure it makes a braindead kid out there happy. It's kind of like the Make A Wish Foundation but they won't die afterwards. That's what I tell myself to go to sleep at night. It's still not as bad as Luna almost selling her soul to archdemon Sandalphon to get the fame and fortune a music career gets you. How do I know it's a demon? Lucy told me…I think his brother is Mettaton and he was a demon in Supernatural, so…

"Hey, Lana; Can you help me find my dress so I can get out of here in time for the pageant?"

"Did you try looking in your closet?"

"What kind of idiot do you take me for? I already looked in there!"

Wait, is she suggesting that I overlooked something? Well, I'll humor her. I go over to the closet and open it, seeing hundreds of pink dresses, all in different shades and hues.

"They're all pink to me. We're going to be here for at least an hour!"

"There it is, right next to Hot Magenta and Lavender Blush."

I take the Hot Pink dress off its hanger and put in on. I grab its matching set of gloves from my vanity and put on my makeup to get ready for the pageant.

"Thanks for your help, Lans! I'll see you later!"

I bolt out the door and get to my car. I put the keys in the ignition and drive off to Miss Liza's Pageant Training Center, which is honestly the last place I thought Royal Woods would hold it. On the way, I get bathed in a rainbow light. Weird, since it didn't rain yesterday, but whatever.

I arrive at the place and see the other contestants. They all give a bellicose glower at me. Bow before the queen of pageants, peasants. This is my home turf. I even see that brat Lindsay. Thankfully, she hasn't seen me yet. Better save the fight for the pageant.

* * *

I head into the bathroom and wash my hands. I tense my arms in anticipation. I hear a sizzling sound…is someone cooking burgers or something? Wait, that doesn't make sense. Burgers in a bathroom, gross! I look down at my arms and see a magenta and a clear translucent swirled mass and notice that my gloves have dissolved in the clear liquid. The clear solution spills onto the concrete and starts to eat away at it. This must mean it's one of those "acids" that Lisa plays around with… I think she calls these types "corrosive"; Oh no! My beautiful skin! It'll be mangled and burnt away! I need to wash this acid off!

I try to turn on the faucet on full blast to power wash the acid off. All I did was melt the knob.

"Why won't this acid go away?!"

I try tensing my arms again. The acidic solution disperses. To my surprise, my arms are still beautiful, but the gloves are unsalvageable.

"What the heck is going on?!"

I leave the bathroom and mingle with the others for about a minute. That brat Lindsay approaches me. It actually was like that anime with all the buff dudes.

"Oh, you still have the nerve to come here?"

"I can't defend my title without being here."

"Then exercise your futile attempt at power, it's my time now!"

I go over to her.

"Well, well, well. It looks the pink powerhouse is losing her edge! I can't believe you would take a swim before a big competition."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me, you smell like pool water!"

"I think you can't smell; I smell like perfume."

"No, you smell like pool water, you are the one who can't smell."

* * *

Lindsay starts coughing.

"Why is it getting so hard to breathe in here?"

"Is there a gas leak?"

Everyone is murmuring on what is happening.

"I can't see and my throat feels like it's on fire!"

Everyone leaves the area, this is kind of more important than a pageant. The cops are immediately called to see if there's anything odd about the area that would cause this. EMTs arrive to take Lindsay to the emergency room. The police begin interviewing everyone, including me.

"What's your name, little girl?"

"Lola Loud."

"Ok, Lola. Did you see anything out of the ordinary today?"

"No. I, like all the others were here competing in the pageant. We stopped as soon as Lindsay was showing those symptoms."

"I see."

"She mentioned her throat and eyes burning, I think she had blurry vision and trouble breathing. It's really strange. She also said I smell like pool water, but I haven't swum in a pool today."

The officer sniffs me.

"She's right, you smell strongly of chlorine."

"Well, you smell of nicotine."

"Well, you annoying brat (cough, cough) some of us are trying to quit smoking. Right now, I'm on Juul pods."

"Aren't those even worse, since they're just pure nicotine?"

"Yeah, cherry flavored nicotine."

The officer coughs up a storm.

"Sir, have you tried patches? I heard those help with smoking."

"I (cough, cough) might try that (cough, cough). Thanks, Lola."

Huh, I sure hope the officer can kick his heavy smoking habit. Well, this was a strange day…

And as if on cue, Lisa arrives in a hazmat suit. As if the day couldn't get any weirder.

"I heard about the pageant being canceled on the news! Right now, it looks like it's just local news, but someone might have tipped off CNN. I think Anderson Cooper said something about there being a possible terrorist attack here, so they sent Jim Acosta to "verify" the story."

Ugh, CNN. Even I could lie better than those idiots.

"Well, I'm here to take you home. The biohazard suit is just a precaution."

We take my car home. Lisa takes me to her laboratory and begins to experiment on me. Why must almost every bad thing happen to either Lincoln or me?


	11. Prelimenary Testing

"Please, stand here."

Lola does what Lisa says.

"Now, I'm going to see if there's anything weird about you. Well, aside from your narcissistic personality disorder, that is. Now, have you seen anything like rainbow cracks in the sky, or maybe a rainbow aura or light?"

"Well, now that you mention it, I did see a rainbow light as I was driving to the pageant."

"Interesting, did the light touch you?"

"I think so?"

"Is there anything interesting that happened when you were at the pageant?"

"Yes! My arms were coated in this clear liquid. It ate my gloves, the plastic faucet knob and even the concrete floor! I was sure it would have eaten through my beautiful skin…but it didn't…for some reason."

"Odd. Do you mind if we do some tests?"

"Uh, sure?"

Lola is unsure how she activated this ability last time. Can she just will it to happen? She tries doing so. Her arms are coated with a clear liquid. Lisa attempts to collect some samples, but her collection supplies get dissolved in it.

"It appears that you can generate a strong acid. Well, I was going to analyze it, but apparently it is too strong for that. I do have a chemical formula scanner so this might work."

Lisa attempts to use the chemical formula scanner.

"No known substance. This liquid is the most similar to HClO4." The scanner reads in a robotic tone

"What does that mean?"

"It means Lana was right. You really are an acidic person to be around. This anomalous acid functions similar to perchloric acid. This acid is super corrosive and can melt almost anything. I want you to try and melt something."

Lisa hands Lola a bunch of stuff.

Lola touches a piece of wood; Dissolved

One of Lisa's flasks; Dissolved

A ceramic dinner plate; Dissolved

A piece of silverware; Dissolved

Lincoln's journal; Dissolved

"Wait, what was that?"

"Oh, that was something Lincoln wanted me to destroy."

Lola gives Lisa a suspicious glare. Lisa hands her a piece of metal pipe, which also gets dissolved.

"Acid is strong enough to dissolve steel. I think that is enough for you today."

Lola turns off her acid powers and leaves. Suddenly all of the other siblings crowd Lisa.

* * *

"Lisa, you're a genius. Can you explain what's wrong with me?"

"Everyone, step back for a proverbial moment, single file! Now, who wants to go first?"

"Well, I'm literally the oldest, so I should go first."

Lori enters the lab, Lisa begins her tests.

"So, eldest sister, what seems to be the trouble?"

"Well, I was taking Lily out for a stroll when we talked to a Virginian man from Dawsonville. He was making his way up to Minnesota to try some poutine, which you can only get from Canada, apparently."

"I can confirm that. Poutine is extraordinarily delicious for what it is, considering it is just gravy cheese fries. A way better Canadian invention than pineapple pizza, that's for sure."

"Anyways, I saw that the town of Ruckersville turned into a post-apocalyptic wasteland and we were fighting four super powerful entities. The middle creature looked to command the others, xe caused the sky to swirl in a black hole like fashion."

"Did you just use the pronoun xe unironically?"

"Yeah, I identify that creature as either a humanoid abomination or someone's overpowered OC on DeviantArt."

Lisa can't help but cringe at the stupid. If a person was trans, they should be offended by being called something so retarded. It's either he, she, it, or they/them.

Lori continues.

"I also heard a fallout terminal talking about dimensions merging into one and how we are the last hope for all of them, as this "Tyrant Goddess" and her minions cause Singularity. They also mentioned they were following these "sagas" and they were there at the time of the fight. He said he was a last terminal network."

"That is incredibly weird. Do you think you might have future vision?"

"That's what I thought, but I want to be sure that that was what it was, and not some hallucinogenic fever dream."

Lori appears to get another vision.

"_Who are you?"_

"_I am agent Double from the Foundation's Black Wing division. I assume O5-2 has briefed you on the situation?"_

"_Yes, SCPs are leaking through those Anomalous Bursts!"_

"_And one of the most dangerous ones has just [DATA EXPUNGED] some idiot was looking for Hillary Rodham Clinton in the Chappaqua woods! It's actually a good thing the anomaly killed him, because if the idiot recorded its face and say a "news source" like CNN plasters it everywhere for ratings, an XK class scenario would happen!"_

"_Wait, you don't mean…?!"_

"_The one that escaped this time…was SCP-096-EN, Codename: The Shy Guy, Object Class: Super Euclid, Threat Level: Red, Special Properties: Photoptic Hazard, Compulsory, Relativistic, Violent."_

"_How can you capture something you can't see?"_

"_By putting a paper bag over its head. But just in case, I have a weapons grade EMP generator to take out all of New York's power grid. It might make news headlines, but it's better than having a few million people dead from 096-EN. I call it Operation Mitternacht."_

"_I can teleport you to the woods, but it's one way. You'll have to find a way to transport that thing without attracting any attention."_

"_Sig? How did you get here?"_

"_Same way all the others escaped. Through the bursts."_

"_Shouldn't Site-17 be on lockdown? Especially after I-239-B-CK."_

"_Hey, Doctor Clef started that incident first!"_

"_Well, it's nice to see you not in a coma."_

"_It's nice to see you too, god-auntie Double."_

_SCP-239-EN generates a portal. Agent Double steps through._

"I had another vision. A badass female agent of the Foundation said a "SCP-096-EN" came through an Anomalous Burst. It killed someone looking for Hillary Clinton in the woods. She was going to EMP blast all of New York so that no one could see its face on technology. She and someone named "Sig" know each other."

"Wait, what? SCP-096-EN?! That anomaly is incredibly dangerous! It can run 35 kilometers per hour at minimum and is damn near indestructible! The world can't survive encountering it! If even **ONE PIXEL** of its true face is shown, [DATA EXPUNGED]! If you do have future vision, things are going to get super weird!"

* * *

Lori leaves, Lana enters.

"I already know what I can do! I can enter media!"

"Oh, really? Prove it?"

Lisa gives Lana one of Lincoln's Ace Savvy Comic books. Lana enters and exits it.

"Ok, you can enter a comic book, but what about a TV show?"

Lisa and Lana go to the TV, Lana enters a SpongeBob episode and exits it as quickly.

"Well, you're right."

"Not only that, time seems to stop when I enter the medium."

"Noted. Alright, next."

* * *

Lynn approaches Lisa.

"Oh, you're approaching me?"

"Yeah, I can't get my test results without getting closer."

"Then come as close as you like."

"Really, Lisa?"

"Lori told me about some anime with ridiculously buff dudes that Lincoln watched one time. Lincoln told her he didn't like it that much. Lori loved it, but I think she just watched it to ogle at the muscle heads. She loved the Battle Tendency chapter."

"So, can you just test me?"

"Well, considering your ability only activated when those two thugs almost beat you to death, I don't feel comfortable almost killing you for the sake of science."

"Didn't stop you from electrocuting Lily."

"I'm trying to be slightly more moral."

"Lame, but I guess you're right, I need to be in peak condition for testing."

She leaves. Lily, Lucy, Lincoln, Luan and Luna were tested, but no anomalies were currently found. Maybe they have specific triggers? Sophia said not everyone would be affected by the anomalous radiation. She may be right and I may be crazy, but a lunatic may just be what the world's looking for.

* * *

"Is it my turn?" Leni asks demurely

"I suppose, second eldest sister. Well, lets get this over with. What is your ability? Sorry if I sound snappy, I may be suffering from science fatigue."

"Well, anything I want just sort of happens."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe I should just show you?"

Leni thinks of something she wants. A dress suddenly pops out of thin air. It has a polychromatic pattern consisting of lilac, Kelly green, dark blue, pink, black, orange, red, yellow, purple, turquoise and cyan, adorned with pink diamond shards on the left sleeve, obsidian stones on the right, with a turquoise necklace as a compliment.

"It looks like an eyesore!"

"What a coinci-dink. I think so, too. It was inspired by some fanfic Lana read like four months ago."

Leni poofs the dress out of existence.

"If you really can do anything, you might have the power of essokinesis.

"S-O kin esis?"

"Put simply, the ability to warp reality. This power is super rare and super dangerous. It can make 2+2=Fish! Mayonnaise could actually be considered an instrument!"

"Wait, mayonnaise is already an instrument. Lincoln saw some guy play it on the Internet."

"Gah, Leni! I just told you have a super unstable and dangerous power! The least you can do is try to control it so you don't accidently destroy the multiverse!"

"Oh, reality warping. So that's why 261-EN and 294-EN showed up in our break room."

"Hmm? What did you do?"

"Well, I was super hungry and wanted something from a vending machine, so the universe gave us SCP-261-EN because I was craving something exotic since I didn't have enough time to go to the new dumpling place. Their food is really good, I should take you guys there sometime. But don't worry, the original vending machine is back and is otherwise unchanged!"

Lisa sighs. Welp, we're all screwed. It's just a matter of when.

* * *

Everyone except Lola heads down to watch some news. Even though all news now is fake news ever since Trump became president, at least the news has now become a reality sitcom.

"Back to you, Catherine."

"We've just received harrowing footage of a violent brawl at Ketcham Park, where two teens (those are teens, right?) savagely beat a teenage girl to near death. Watch this footage we obtained from a terrified parkgoer just earlier today.

[WARNING: GRAPHIC FOOTAGE]

"Come on. Do you really think we're that stupid?! We know that you scared us in that corn maze last Halloween."

"That was for stealing our neighbors' candy and vandalizing our street."

"Well…"

"It's time for you to receive your complementary beating from us!"

The beating proceeds as normal. They even showed the blood! They weren't kidding when they said graphic violence.

"People from Royal Woods now these terrors as Hank Aguilar and Hawk Mitchell. These two are star football players from our rival town, Hazeltucky. Known for their aggressive behavior on and off the gridiron, they have been assaulting our townspeople for years now."

Diem Doan, victim: "Yeah those two guys toilet papered our street and stole all our chocolate on Halloween. Lucky for me, I already gave all my chocolate to some toddler dressed up like a kangaroo."

Wilbur Huggins, principal of RWES: "Coach Pacowski already told me about those brutes every time we play against HES. Those kids must be taking some sort of performance enhancing drugs. Not even John Cena is that ripped! I kind of understand why one of my students tried to bail out of football."

Lord Tetherby, snobbish rich guy: "I daresay these hooligans would have ransacked Huntington Manor had some boorish poor people not run interference for us. I suppose I owe you a begrudging thanks to you commoners this time. I still want you on the other side of the gate, this is a nice property."

"As you can see, Royal Woods is not to fond of them. Especially after the Loud family scared them off one Halloween night as revenge for the aforementioned candy theft and vandalism of Lincoln Avenue. They were apparently looking for revenge that day and just happened to stumble upon on of them. The victim was 13-year-old Lynn Loud Jr, who happens to be one of Royal Woods' star players. She refused to let us air the interview she had with the cops, but we just received word that the two have been found and arrested. They will be charged with aggravated assault. Royal Woods can rest easy knowing these two hooligans will be off the streets. Drug screen testing has revealed the presence of anabolic steroids. Police in Hazeltucky have launched an investigation into the matter."

"I knew it!" Lynn shouts

* * *

Luan changes the channel to CNN. After the 2016 election, they've become her new favorite comedy channel. The only problem is that she's afraid she might lose some brain cells if she watches them for too long.

"We have news of a possible terrorist attack in Royal Woods, Michigan. Our correspondent Jim Acosta is on the scene."

"Wow, CNN using Jim Acosta. This is going to be so funny! Let's see how they botch this story." Luan muses

"Yes, I am here at Miss Liza's Pageant Training Center. What was supposed to be a fun competition for aspiring young future models has ended in tragedy, as an unknown assailant has released a chemical gas attack in the area."

"Chemical gas attack? Maybe someone farted. I wouldn't put it past CNN to call farting biochemical warfare now."

"I know that people see CNN as fake news, but we are serious this time, guys. Two people have already died in the attack. The first recorded death was a decorated Royal Woods officer. He had a heavy smoking problem, but was on the path to turn his life around. He is survived by his wife and two sons. The cause of death was pulmonary oedema."

"This is weird, CNN is trying to get people to believe them." Lincoln comments

"But what solidifies this as a terrorist attack was our second victim. Unlike the officer, she has never smoked a day in her life. She died early this morning at 2:32 AM from a pulmonary embolism. The victim was Lindsay Sweetwater. Lindsay was one of the contestants for the pageant that was cancelled due to the attack."

Hospital Doctor: "Her lungs were almost completely dissolved. A tox screen showed a large amount of phosgene. Symptoms of phosgene poisoning are blurry vision, burning eyes and throat, trouble breathing, coughing, nausea, watery eyes and skin lesions. In later stages, it can lead to difficulty breathing, low blood pressure, pulmonary oedema and heart failure."

"Phosgene was a chemical weapon used during WW1 to choke out the enemy. People are more commonly used to mustard gas being the deadliest chemical weapon, but it was only responsible for 15% of deaths. Phosgene on the other hand was responsible for 80% of chemical weapons deaths. Since all of these were banned by the Geneva conventions. This is an act of war!"

"Phosgene? Impossible. The only phosgene is in laboratories, so how could any phosgene even leave? And why target a pageant center?" Lisa points out

"I have my own theory about this. I think that this is a false flag operation by Donald Trump to destroy the Democrat Communist Party with Russia's help. Trump is finished! Everyone, file impeachment articles immediately!"

"There you have it, Trump is willing to gas America's own citizens to destroy the Left. We should impeach immediately! And if that doesn't work. We should execute him for high treason against the American people!"

Luan switches the channel to SpongeBob.

"Welp, CNN still has Trump Derangement Syndrome." Luan comments "Four more years for memes."

Phosgene? Does Lola have a power like that? If so…

Lisa takes off her hazmat suit and decontaminates it.

"Lola, you might need to wear this."

"Lisa? What's going on?"

"We're going to have to quarantine you."

"Is something wrong? It's my acid power, right?"

"You could say that."

* * *

_**Preliminary reports:**_

_**TLH-001: Non-anomalous**_

_**TLH-002: Non-anomalous**_

_**TLH-003: Object Class: Keter, Threat Level: Red, Special Properties: Violent?**_

_**TLH-004: Object Class: Keter, Threat Level: Blue**_

_**TLH-005: Non-anomalous**_

_**TLH-006: Non-anomalous**_

_**TLH-007: Object Class: Euclid, Threat Level: ?, Special Properties: Violent**_

_**TLH-008: Non-anomalous**_

_**TLH-009: Non-anomalous**_

_**TLH-010: Object Class: Keter, Threat Level: Black, Special Properties: Reality Warper**_

_**TLH-011: Object Class: Euclid, Threat Level: Green**_


	12. Antelude 1: Containment Breach

**Track Featured: Get Schwifty by Ryan Elder ft Justin Roiland**

We are treated to a panoramic view of a strange house that we've never seen before. It's eerily quiet in here…maybe the homeowners are at work? Wait, there's a familiar retro theme playing. Strange, it almost sounds like it's filled with despair…I know it's New Game by Gustavo Rangel. Who could stand to listen to this chaotic tune? I mean, Vindicate Me by Jimmy Hinson is obviously the better retro tune. We gently open the door and see…

An emaciated corpse of Lincoln hanging from the ceiling with hyper realistic blood gushing out of his eye sockets!

Nah, I'm kidding…it's just Carol.

Wait, _**just Carol? **_Well, if what Libitina showed us is true, only bad things can happen if it's just a character. The people that watch ItsMeJustMe now have an immense fear of her, purely by association. It sure is a good thing that no one can date them, because they could be a yandere, or I could be wrong, I'm just saying…remember, just Monika.

* * *

Anyways, while I was wasting your time, Carol had just responded to a call from her former enemy? Rival? Turned best friend, you all know who I'm talking about because she's literally one of the main characters of the show…actually the most annoying character since Lola can actually be funny, sometimes. Anyway…Lori told Carol all about the Anomalous Burst situation. Because honestly, who can ignore giant iridescent cracks in the sky that could possibly give you anomalous powers? Most of Royal Woods knows about them already and the state of Michigan has advised people to stay away from the cracks, because they are unpredictable and if what Lori told her is true, then beings from other dimensions could come in through those cracks! Foxes in an alliance with crystals in a dreamy state out of love and on the run would be pretty crazy after all.

But even more important than that, Lori, her new bestie, has invited her over to watch a funny video that Leni found online. Well, Carol isn't one to turn down such an opportunity. She grabs her trusty cellphone and leaves to go to the Loud House, all while walking through one of those cracks. This one, however hasn't sealed itself up all the way like all the others. Instead, a blood red claw emerges from the crack. A strange red creature that looks like a lizard fused with a viperfish emerges from the crack, which seals up behind it.

Sure, now it seals up when the creature is out of the crack…

Anyways, Carol arrives at the Loud House and heads toward Lori's room.

"Oh, hey Carol. So, here's that video that Leni wanted to show me. I thought it was funny enough to show it to you."

Lori plays the video.

"So, a Xhale City employee freaks out and refuses to serve a Trump supporter. Hello everyone, this is Mr. Obvious, and I have a video for you today that I found posted on Facebook and it basically shows how an employee of a vape shop freaks out. I mean he Literally REEES…"

The employee, who looks like a ginger neckbeard, as the Internet would say, unleashes a high pitched shrill that cracks Lori's phone screen.

"It didn't crack the last time I watched the video."

"…and goes crazy and says all sorts of things to a Trump supporter just because he was wearing a MAGA hat."

"Oh, this is just a guy commenting on it." Lori assures her "This is the actual video and where it gets good."

Carol looks closer at the video. The actual video, filmed by Trump supporter and well-known Internet badass Ian Furgeson.

* * *

Ian: "So here we are at Xhale Vapor City in Tucker, Georgia; And I have just been asked to leave the store. He greeted me, that was nice. I did find the item that I wanted and the next thing he said was that he'd like me to leave."

The employee notices him filming and gets triggered.

SJW: "Hey, if you do not stop recording in my store, I'm going to call the police and ask you to leave now."

Ian: "Police, call the…? That'd be awesome! Can we? We can call FOX 5 and all sorts of stuff. I'd like…I would like to purchase something here."

SJW (In the background): "Let me call my boss first."

Ian: "Please, do call your boss, because I will be calling corporate."

SJW: "Go for it."

Ian: "I am looking forward to releasing this video. Cause I just want to purchase something…"

The SJW gets even more triggered and yells at him.

SJW: "FUCK OFF, DUDE. FUCK OFF. GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"'

"So first off, he refuses service just because he sees a person wearing MAGA gear. You know, supporting the president. I'm sure as a conservative and because of this, he assumes he must be a racist, he must be a monster and he even says because he was a Trump supporter and because he hates Trump, wow."

The SJW walks around the store while calling someone.

SJW (on the phone with someone, presumably his boss): "Yeah, I got a fucker in my store, he won't leave. Wears Trump stuff. He's wearing some Trump bullshit and got some racist bullshit on his head, too."

"He proceeds to call the president a treasonous asshole and the man being berated says to the other African American man in the room, "I have no problem with your skin color, sir." You know, I'm not a racist."

At this point, the SJW is so into his tirade that he becomes barely intelligible.

SJW: "FUCKING SAY?! HE'S A FUCKING RACIST MOTHERFUCKER!"

Ian: "Racist? I am not a racist."

SJW: "Yeah!"

Black guy (confused): "Right?"

Ian: "I am not a racist."

SJW: "I'm not serving anyone that has to do with that fucker (President Trump). He's a treasonous asshole."

Ian (to the black guy): "I don't have a problem with you, sir. Whatsoever. I don't."

"So, the employee, the SJW, the libtard, whatever you want to call them, freaks out. Continues to freak out, rampage, and go on a tantrum like a child."

Ian: "I'd like to purchase some of this Naked vape juice, though. If that'd be all right."

SJW: "I don't give a fuck…"

Ian: "Ok, here's where we are at…"

The SJW goes full tantrum. Never go full tantrum.

SJW: "Leave, leave the store, leave the store, LEAVE THE STORE, LEAVE THE STORE! FUCK OFF! I. DON'T. GIVE. A. FUCK. GET OUT!"

Ian: "Dude, go ahead. Take another swing at me. Make contact with me one more time. I'm going to make a deal with you. I want to purchase that vape juice…"

The SJW is so triggered he might go full on Super Saiyan.

SJW: "No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Ian: "If you sell it to me, I won't call the police! What you did was assaulted me, what I need is that (points to vape juice offscreen) for my wife. If you sell it to me, I won't call the fucking cops and press charges for you for assault! I won't call corporate and get you fired! Just sell me the fucking product so I can leave!"

SJW: "What do you want?"

Ian: "Naked. In the strawberry, In a fucking 6 milligrams."

SJW: "Where do you see Naked?"

Ian: "Right here, this shit, where is it? This."

SJW: "Where the fuck do you see it?"

Ian: "Right there. Here. Right next to that. In a 6 milligram, make sure it's a 6 milligram so I don't have to come back."

SJW: "I hope you don't fucking come back to my store."

Ian: "I'll make sure of that."

"And honestly, this brings up an important point. Look at all of the anger and anguish and distrust and hatred in this man. Look at him yelling at an innocent person for doing nothing other than wearing a hat. Think about it, it's always the Democrats who are always saying "the Right is divisive, you divide the country, you spread "hate". But who is spreading division, who is spreading hatred towards his fellow man, towards his fellow citizen? It is the regressive Left that pushes hatred, that pushes division, that has brainwashed people so badly, turn them into such sheep that they attack the first person they see even moderately support the president. This is how far we've fallen. This is the true face of the cult of the regressive Left."

SJW: "Get the fuck out of here, dude. Oh my…fuck."

Ian: "God bless America, capitalism wins again."

SJW: "Fuck your capitalism. Fuck your fucking president, he's a racist, stupid piece of shit. You're a racist, stupid piece of shit. Fuck off."

Ian: "Just ring the shit up; Just ring the shit up, fuckwad. Do my bidding."

SJW: "Man, fuck! Get out! Call the cops! Call the cops! No, I'll call the cops."

Ian: "Sell it to me; Sell it to me, brother."

The SJW tries to help the black guy, who still hasn't fled all this craziness.

Ian: "You done upset me. And you should have helped him first in the first place before you threw a temper tantrum, dipshit. He's standing here waiting for you to ring him up, how fucking…"

SJW: "Get out!"

Ian: "Help your customer!"

SJW: "FUCK OFF! FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK OOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!"

The SJW autistically shrills.

Lori stops the video.

"The video cuts off, but apparently the black guy apologized to Ian, since he had to deal with this loudmouthed idiot."

"He did get fired, right?"

"Oh yeah. He totally got fired."

"That was the craziest thing I ever saw!"

"I know! How could someone even yell like that?"

"His voice is so loud it could shatter the glass the vape juice was in!"

"I've got to hand it to Ian, he masterfully got his wife's vape juice and did America a solid by removing this lunatic from a place of business."

"I mean, I lean Left, but not so left I fall off the seesaw, like the Commiefornians that are destroying California right now."

"If god exists, I think he's smiting California. There's already a plague of leprosy and their rivers overflowing with the excrement of the sinful. We need to liberate California from the communists and give it back to the Republicans. At least then, California won't be New India."

"Agreed. It's like that SpongeBob quote that Lana told me. These hands weren't meant to create, they only destroy!"

"Anyway, "capitalism wins again?" It's so perfect to use that to troll a socialist!"

"How about, "do my bidding?" It made his voice turn so shrill that even dogs heard it!"

Carol is still laughing at that awesome video, but Lori seems to be entranced by something.

* * *

"Hey, Lori? Is something interesting happening out there?"

No response.

"Lori. If you can hear me, blink twice."

She does so and a sickening snap is heard.

"Lori?!"

Carol opens the room and sees Lincoln playing on some new VR headset.

"You ok, little guy?"

"No. This new Metal Gear game is really difficult! I already got neck snapped twice!"

He sighs and stops playing the game.

"Oh, hey Carol. I know Lori wanted you to watch some Internet video today."

"Yeah. I think the video fried her brain though. Must have had too many all-day conversations with Bobby."

"I know the feeling, but at least it means she's distracted so she can't berate me for doing something that annoys her."

"About that. Leni actually told me it was her idea. She said it would be "totes cute" to see the new besties hang out and get along together."

"Really? I'll have to thank her for that."

"Well, I'll leave you alone. I need to think up new strategies to be this new version of Psycho Mantis…"

Lincoln heads into the twins' room while Carol still has a braindead Lori to deal with.

"Well, at least you responded to me by blinking. Uh…dance to Get Schwifty by Ryan Elder ft Justin Roiland."

* * *

Not only does she dance to it, she even sings the lyrics!

_Oh, yeah!  
You gotta get schwifty  
You gotta get schwifty in here  
It's time to get schwifty  
Oh, oh  
You gotta get schwifty  
Oh, yeah!_

And just like a true degenerate, I mean, intellectual, she even takes off her shorts and panties to defecate on the floor, just as the song dictated.

_Take off your pants and your panties  
Shit on the floor  
Time to get Schwifty in here  
Gotta shit on the floor  
I'm Mr. Bulldops  
I'm Mr. Bulldops  
Take a shit on the floor  
Take off your panties and your pants  
It's time to get schwifty in here_

_New song, schwifty  
Double X  
Schwifty song, comin' at ya  
It's the schwif-schwifty  
Hey, take your pants off  
It's schwifty time today_

Carol is just absolutely shocked that Lori Loud would debase herself by being a 0 IQ intellectual that watches Rick and Morty. Sad thing is that this even isn't the most degenerate thing the Rick and Morty fanbase has done…something about eating McNugget sauce off the street because it was the fabled Schezwan sauce that was mentioned on Rick and Morty. Luckily, the initial shock paralyzed both Carol's brain and nose. Good thing too, because there are three massive dumps of fecal matter on the floor! It would put the homeless in California to shame!

"It sure was a good thing no one recorded that."

"Yeah, it sure would suck for her…" Says a familiar foe

The person climbs down the tree and runs far away from the house. He did see a red lizard nearby. So, it's a good thing he left.

* * *

"Ah, shit. Lori! Clean up the mess you made!"

Lori begins to pick up her festering pile of shit with her bare hands but Carol stops her.

"What the fuck?! LORI! Get some gloves before you pick up that shit!"

Lori goes over to Lisa's room.

"Yes?"

"I need some gloves, Lisa."

"What for?"

"Handling a biohazard."

"Hmm, what type?"

"Fecal matter."

Lisa's ears perk up on hearing this.

"Really? Well sure!"

Lisa stops her studies and enters Lori's room and she sees the piles of poop on the floor. Carol is in the corner trying to use her shirt as an impromptu gas mask.

"You're the smart one, right? Can't you vaporize them from existence?"

"Vaporize? These scatological samples are much too precious to destroy. I need them from my gastrointestinal study. But not to worry, Elder sister's friend. I'll get them out of here.

She puts one some gloves and picks up the samples, putting them in some plastic bags. She also puts some experimental carpet cleaner on the floor. Immediately, the fecal stains disappear. Carol sniffs the air and it doesn't smell like shit.

"Ooh, a floral scent."

"You can exit the room now."

Lisa leaves and Lori comes back.

"Lori, why did you make a complete fool of yourself?"

"Because you told me to."

"Well, I miss the old Lori. I want you to go back to normal."

"What are you looking at, Pingrey?"

"Lori, you're back!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You were acting so weird. But at least you are back to normal now!"

"What the? Why am I…?"

"It's a long story."

Lori puts her underwear and shorts back on. Thank god.

* * *

Lori gets another vision. This one has Carol confronting a red creature. This creature is talking like her and the location…it's nearby.

"I think something bad is going to happen, Carol."

"What do you mean?"

"I think we should watch the news."

"The news? No one watches that anymore!"

"Just do it."

The teens turn on the news channel.

"We've gotten reports of a Komodo dragon on the streets in Royal Woods. We advise everyone to stay as far away from it as possible. This rare subspecies is red and has no eyes, but is highly predatory has been shown to use mimicry to lure victims out."

"A Komodo dragon? This must be the work of a Florida man!"

"I saw you with that thing. If it really is that dangerous…"

"Well, I have to get home soon."

"Don't go. It's not safe!"

Carol knows but she also knows she can't stay here overnight. She heads out the door and heads back to her own house. About halfway there, she spots the Komodo dragon trying to kill a squirrel. She tries to sneak past it but despite having no eyes, it still senses her and tries to attack!

* * *

"Ahh! No! Stop!"

Strangely, instead of mauling and eating her, the creature actually does stop. It bares its fangs menacingly, however. Carol attempts to leave, but it pursues her. Waiting to strike.

"What are you?"

"I am you."

It can talk! But this is just its mimicry. It's a lure so that it can eat her. Still, this is the longest anyone has lasted against it without military grade weaponry.

"939-14. Still infantile."

"What?"

"You still infant. You look like me when grown up."

"Which one are you?"

"939-19."

"There's more than one of you?"

"Hunt in packs. Others being tortured, I escaped. I see buffet of flesh!"

"So, you are carnivores?"

"Eat meat. No digest, but it delicious. Vicious paradox. Flesh block airway. Need emesis get rid of blockage."

Carol gets a call from Lori.

"Did you make it home? Please tell me that thing didn't sense you! I would never be able to forgive myself if you get killed by that thing! I'm calling the cops and telling them to look for you and to escort you home! You may hate me for this, but it's better than you ending up in the vicious maws of that beast!"

Lori hangs up before Carol could even get a word in. Wow, it's nice that Lori cares that much for her, especially after their rivalries over the years. SCP-939-19-EN heard Lori's voice and changes it accordingly.

"Why am I so sleepy? Who are you? What am I?"

"Delirium chemical. Scientist call it AMN-C227. Hunting adaptation to disorient prey."

"Don't hurt…humans…don't hurt my friends."

"939? Friends with food? You funny, 14. When you mature. I take you on hunt. Both of us. I spare you, child of 939."

At this point, the cops as well as some of the Michigan military come in to terminate the deadly predator. Apparently, some people in Royal Woods have played Containment Breach and were able to convince the cops to bring in the big guns. They also told them about SCP-939-EN and its ability to produce AMN-C227, so they all had gas masks on.

"Grr. I'll kill anyone who dares to hurt my child!"

Yep. I think the AMN-C227 has gotten to Carol. She could have sworn that beast called her its child. Maybe whatever system that hasn't atrophied away completely was damaged with the amnestic and it somehow convinced itself that Carol was its offspring. Good news, it won't kill Carol. Bad news, it will kill everyone else.

"Target is extremely hostile! Fire at will! Rescuing the girl is our utmost priority!"

The military fires at 939-19. It lunges at the crowd and mauls the crap out of one of the soldiers, slashing his throat out in a dark shade of crimson. It then leaps and bites an officer's head with a sickening crunch! The other people can even see where it crushed the poor bastard's skull. By this point, the rescue team has gotten Carol away from the predator and 939-19 has taken about 1500 bullets to its body (got to love high powered burst rifles). Eventually, the military was able to terminate it, but it killed 7 people in the process!

Carol is back home. But now things have gotten even more dangerous. SCPs are starting to come out of the bursts, which can now be considered gateways to other dimensions. It's only a matter of time before a super dangerous entity that the world can't handle comes through. The Louds are going to need some more firepower to save their world. Let us hope that that help arrives soon.


	13. Operation: Party Crashers

**Tracks Featured: Congratulations by David Brown ft Felix Kjellberg and Joel Berghult  
Life is Fun by James Rallison ft David Brown  
Bibilus V-Nick Nitro  
The World Revolving by Toby Fox  
The Ultimate Show by Naoko Mitome and Chika Sekigawa  
Marx's Theme by Jun Ishikawa and Dan Miyakawa  
Your Contract Has Expired by Pascal Michael Stiefel  
Power of NEO by Toby Fox  
I Face Myself by Shoji Meguro  
**

Author's Note: During the musical duel, _italics _are Carol's lyrics, **bold** are Alex's lyrics, and **_bolded italics_** means that both of them are singing that particular lyric.

* * *

"_**It takes more than one voice to make harmony. We all have a choice for our destiny. So, if everyone here could just sing with me, we'd all be free in harmony…"-Ray "Captain Man" Manchester, July 27, 2019**_

"So, apparently I have anomalous powers."

"Oh great…how'd you find that out?"

"Well, I was just talking with some of your besties and noticed that Whitney's eyes were colored a cyan-royal purple hybrid color. I made her do some stuff and she actually did them. I guess I didn't notice because you already have blue eyes, and the iris is more cyan than royal. Haven't you noticed that even my ability is more associated with you rather than me? It's like I'm in your shadow!"

"Please, if anything, I'm your shadow."

"Anyways, I think that red lizard thing produced some sort of delirium chemical to hunt."

"So, you **DID** encounter that bioorganic killing machine! I heard they sent the military to eradicate that thing. Are you safe?!"

"Yeah, I'm fine, but something was odd about that thing."

"Well, it didn't kill you, so I guess that's a first."

"No, I mean it. That thing said I was its child. I think it snorted some of its own chemical. I am definitely not related to that thing!"

"Incidentally, did it ever mention a number? Lisa is asking for research purposes."

"Uh, I think it was 939-19?"

"Ok, I'll tell her then."

Lori hangs up and mutters something to herself.

"Carol has mind control powers? I might need to keep a watch on her…"

Meanwhile at Lisa's room.

"Hey, future scientist! It's me! Your friend and future fun boss, Sophia!"

"Oh, Doctor Light. What's going on?"

"So, one of our…specimens escaped Armed Biocontainment Area 14. It was a red lizard with razor sharp talons. It can mimic people's voices. It's highly predatory and highly dangerous. If you see it, can you bring it back to us?"

"Oh, we found a red lizard yesterday. It killed 7 people before the military terminated it."

"Hmm…well we'll be working to get the specimen back, with full support from the US government."

"Is there anything important you wanted to tell me?"

"Yes! Since SCP-939-19-EN apparently broke into your dimension I have a feeling that you might need this."

Sophia sends Lisa a large tablet filled with a list of anomalous objects and entities.

"This is SCP-101-FR, vous etes ici, otherwise known as "the directory", by the English branches of the foundation. It lists information about every known SCP in every known branch of the Foundation. It is only in French, however. According to my friend, 101-FR is the reason why SCPs have an ISO code after them, since vous etes ici, you are here in French, is an obviously French SCP."

"Try it out! Look up SCP-939-EN using it!"

She does so.

Objet #: SCP-939-EN

Classe: Couronné

Niveau de Menace: Rouge

Propriétés Spéciales: Biohazard, Prédateur, Violent

Procédures de Confinement Spéciales: SCP-939-1, -3, -19, -53, -89, -96, -98, -99, et -109-EN sont gardés dans les cellules 1163-A ou 1163-B qui sont des chambres de confinement de 1 dans la Zone de Confinement Biologique Armée-14. Chacune des cellules ont leur environnement réglé et sont sous pression négative, avec des murs faits de béton armé. L'accès à ces cellules est régulé par une chambre de décontamination externe avec des portes de sécurité en acier étanche aux gaz intérieurs. Les fenêtres d'observation sont construites en verre feuilleté à l'épreuve des balles de 10 cm d'épaisseur protégées par un grillage électrifié à 100 kV. Le taux d'humidité dans l'air est maintenu à 100 % et la température est maintenue à 16°C. Les spécimens sont surveillés par des caméras infrarouges en toutes circonstances. Un niveau d'autorisation de niveau quatre est requis pour accéder à SCP-939-EN-EN, leur zone de confinement, ou leur chambre d'observation.

SCP-939-101-EN est démembré et stocké dans des réservoirs de conservation cryogénique qui se trouvent dans la Zone de Recherche Biologique-12. L'accès à SCP-939-101-EN requiert une autorisation d'au moins 2 membres du personnel de niveau 3, l'un des deux doit être présent pendant toutes les recherches et les tests. Le contenu d'un seul (1) réservoir de SCP-939-101-EN peut être consulté à tout moment. La température des tissus de SCP-939-101-EN doit être surveillée pendant leur retrait de la conservation cryogénique; si la température des tissus excède 10°C, les tissus doivent retourner dans les réservoirs correspondants et tous les test doivent être suspendus pendant une période de soixante-douze (72) heures. À part si la température des tissus excède 10°C, les recherches sur les tissus de SCP-939-101-EN peuvent continuer aussi longtemps que leurs divagations et réclamations de relâchement peuvent être tolérés.

Les cellules de confinement doivent être nettoyées toutes les deux semaines. Pendant que cela a lieu, les spécimens de SCP-939-EN seront transférés aux cellules adjacentes. Pendant cette période, les portes de la cellule et les fenêtres d'observation doivent être inspectées pour détecter toutes traces de dommages et réparées ou remplacées en conséquence.

Une mise sous sédatifs lourds de tout les SCP-939-EN est requise avant toute interaction, incluant le transfert entre deux cellules et les expérimentations qui peuvent avoir lieu. Voir le Document #939-TE4 pour les protocoles de transfert et d'expérimentation.

Une équipement HAZMAT de classe III doit être porté par le personnel pendant les interactions avec les spécimens de SCP-939-EN et dans toutes les zones connues où SCP-939-EN a logé. Par la suite, des procédures de décontamination standards doivent être respectées par tout les membres du personnel impliqués pour éviter qu'aucune propagation secondaire d'agents amnésiques ne se produise.

Après l'incident ABCA14-939-3, tous les membres du personnel, sauf les Classes D, interagissant avec SCP-939-EN sont tenus de porter, peu importe la durée de l'interaction, deux (2) cardiofréquencemètres imperméables à l'eau, pendant toute la durée de l'interaction. Ces cardiofréquencemètres transmettront à un système de surveillance sans fil indépendant du réseau électrique principal d'une installation, avec au moins un système d'alimentation de secours en veille. Si le cardiofréquencemètre d'un individu indique une ligne plate ou tout autre type de dysfonctionnement, le porteur sera présumé mort, le personnel sera chargé d'ignorer toutes les vocalisations ultérieures du porteur, et une brèche de confinement sera déclarée automatiquement. Les membres du personnel de sécurité s'occupant d'une brèche de confinement sont également tenus de porter ces cardiofréquencemètres.

De plus, des appareils de localisation sous-dermiques doivent être implantés dans tout les SCP-939-EN vivants après leur capture.

Description: Les SCP-939-EN sont des prédateurs endothermiques qui présentent une atrophie de différents systèmes, semblable à celle des organismes troglobies. Les peaux des SCP-939-EN sont hautement perméables à l'humidité et sont rouges translucides, grâce à un composé chimiquement analogue à l'hémoglobine. Les spécimens mesurent en moyenne 2,2 mètres de haut en se tenant debout et pèsent en moyenne 250 kg, même si le poids est très variable. Chacun de leurs quatre membres se termine par trois doigts griffus et un quatrième doigt opposable qui sont couverts de soie ce qui augmente considérablement leurs capacités d'escalade. Leur tête est allongée, dépourvue d'yeux atrophiés ou même d'orbites, et ne contient aucune enveloppe cérébrale. Les mâchoires des SCP-939-EN sont bordées de rouge, faiblement luminescentes, et leurs dents sont en forme de crochets (similaires à ceux appartenant à des spécimens du genre Chauliodus), mesurent 6 cm de haut, et sont entourées par des organes de la fosse sensibles à la chaleur. Des ocelles sensibles à la lumière sont présentes sur toute la longueur de leur arête dorsale épineuse. Ces épines peuvent atteindre 16 cm de long et sont soupçonnées d'être sensibles aux variations de la pression et du débit de l'air.

SCP-939-EN ne possède pas beaucoup de systèmes d'organes vitaux; les système nerveux, centraux et périphériques, le système circulatoire et le tube digestif sont tous absents. Le système respiratoire de SCP-939-EN est atrophié et ne sert à rien apparemment qu'à la diffusion de AMN-C227 (voir ci-dessous). SCP-939-EN n'a apparemment ni besoin physiologiquement de s'alimenter, ni de digérer les tissus consommés. La matière ingérée s'accumule généralement dans le système respiratoire de SCP-939-EN et est régurgitée une fois la quantité suffisante pour inhiber sensiblement sa fonction. Malgré l'absence de nombreux organes vitaux, SCP-939-EN est capable de porter des petits vivants. Voir Addendum 10-16-1991.

La principale méthode de SCP-939-EN pour attirer ses proies est l'imitation de la parole humaine de ses victimes antérieures, bien que l'imitation d'autres espèces et la chasse nocturne aient aussi été observées. Les vocalisations produites par SCP-939-EN impliquent souvent une détresse importante ; savoir si les SCP-939-EN comprennent leurs vocalisations ou répètent des phrases entendues auparavant est l'objet d'une étude en cours. Comment SCP-939-EN acquiert ces voix n'est pas actuellement compris ; des spécimens ont été observés imitant leurs victimes malgré ne les avoir jamais entendues parler. L'analyse des vocalisations émises par SCP-939-EN ne peut pas distinguer SCP-939-EN des échantillons de voix des victimes connues. L'utilisation des systèmes de sécurité ou d'identification biométrique par reconnaissance vocale dans toutes les installations confinant SCP-939-EN est fortement déconseillée pour cette raison. Les proies sont généralement tuées par une seule morsure au crâne ou au cou ; la force de la morsure a été mesurée a plus de 35 MPa.

SCP-939-EN expire des traces infimes d'amnésiques de Classe C sous forme d'aérosol, appelé AMN-C227. AMN-C227 provoque une amnésie antérograde temporaire, entravant la formation de la mémoire pendant toute la durée de l'exposition, plus une moyenne de trente (30) minutes. Il est incolore, inodore et sans saveur avec un ECt50 estimé à l'inhalation de 0,0015 mg•min/m3. Dans les environnements bien aérés ou ouverts, le risque d'exposition à l'Ect50 est fortement réduit, mais non-négligeable. AMN-227 est généralement indétectable dans le sang soixante (60) minutes après l'arrêt de l'exposition. Les sensations de désorientation et les légères hallucinations déclarées immédiatement après le retrait d'un environnement saturé par AMN-C227 sont similaires à celles d'un usage récréatif de nombreuses substances psychoactives et sont facilement confondues en tant que tel.

Note 03-23-2005: Ce rapport porte sur la morphologie alpha. Pour plus d'informations concernant la morphologie bêta, consultez [SUPPRIMÉ] Rapport d'expérience 914, AMTF Nu-7 Compte rendu après action ██-██-████, [SUPPRIMÉ].

Addendum 11-14-1981: Un enregistrement radio entre les équipes de captures pendant le premier contact avec SCP-939-EN est disponible ici.

Addendum 04-11-1982: Due à l'intense aversion de SCP-939-EN pour la lumière, il a été décidé de réduire au minimum les risques d'évasion. L'éclairage fluorescent standard du couloir dissuade SCP-939-EN-1 de quitter sa sombre cellule. Voir Addendum 09-20-1991.

Addendum 06-29-1987: Des recherches préliminaires sur AMN-C227 suggèrent son potentiel utilisé pour un usage général en tant qu'amnésique. Des méthodes de production de masse de l'agent, ainsi que les effets indésirables possibles, sont à l'étude au Site de Confinement et de Recherche Biologique-06.

Addendum 10-03-1990: L'utilisation d'AMN-C227 en tant qu'amnésique de classe C a été approuvée. La production annuelle de la culture des tissus respiratoires de SCP-939-EN devrait excéder trois (3) litres à la Zone de Recherche Biologique-12.

Addendum 09-20-1991: Le confinement de neuf (9) spécimens de SCP-939-EN a été compromis à la suite d'un scénario de brèche de type "Silent Night" au Site de Confinement et de Recherche Biologique-06. Les villes à proximité ont été évacuées sous le prétexte d'une tempête à venir. Des équipes de rétablissement ont été déployées dans la zone.

Addendum 10-16-1991: [SUPPRIMÉ] En conséquence, toute interaction avec SCP-939-EN, du 8 Septembre au 7 Octobre, dans l'hémisphère Nord, ou du 6 Mars au 4 Avril, dans l'hémisphère Sud, est strictement interdite. [SUPPRIMÉ] Aucun spécimen mâle de SCP-939-EN n'a encore été identifié [SUPPRIMÉ] contenir un amnésique de Classe B [SUPPRIMÉ].

Voir Reproduction de SCP-939-EN.

Addendum 02-20-1992: Désormais, l'utilisation d'AMN-C227 comme un amnésique est suspendue indéfiniment. Consulter le Rapport d'Incident AMN-C227-939 pour plus d'informations.

"Ok. I don't really understand French, but I guess Lincoln or Lola can try to decode it. Or I could use a translator."

The channel cuts off.

"Sophia, trusting the fate of the multiverse to some kid? Have you been hitting the Y-909 again?" A terrifying Asian lady chastises

"Oh, hey O5-7. ECM-00 says that we can't fight fate. All is predestined to happen and he says that the metanarrative can't be altered, otherwise cataclysmic damage would happen to the dimension! The best plan of action is to let nature run its course."

"That will be the day. I'm taking Ν7 to prepare for the destruction of the universe."

"Green. Sometimes your actions make wish Lily's proposal would happen."

"Yeah, wishful thinking. Kalinin's proposal is the true SCP-001."

"Well, at least humanity will be blissfully unaware before the end comes. Your plan to "unite" humanity against the anomalous would just cause billions in damages, both humans and their property. Ben is right, we need to merge with the anomalous and become them so that the anomalous would become the new normal, and therefore, not anomalous anymore."

"Yeah, you've definitely gotten high off of amnestics. About your proposal, my vote is a big no."

"Ben thought you would vote no, that's why all of us are voting."

"When his plan fails, I'll be there to tell you two, "I told you so", just before the world ends."

* * *

Back to the Louds, they are doing their normal everyday wacky hijinks. But somewhere, a crack opens up and out comes a fabulous looking man, clad in pink and yellow clothes. He looks to be about in his 30s and has a gaunt appearance. And, if Frankie Grande didn't exist, he would be considered the gayest man alive (in both ways).

"I'm out, party people! And I'm going to make the greatest party of all time!"

A few days later and everyone has heard about the party. He's managed to get some pretty big names in the YouTube community, as well as some famous music artists! There's a massive stage in the center of town. Not to worry, he got permits thanks to one of the people he befriended. I even heard he paid Nick Nitro $50,000 dollars to use one of his instrumentals in the party! Don't ask where he got $50,000 dollars because he doesn't know either.

Oh, SCP-055-EN, was that money counterfeit?

SCP-055-EN says: "That money was definitely not counterfeit."

Finally, the night of the party arrives and 5,000 people are in attendance! He even manages to broadcast the party worldwide. This was hyped to be the greatest party of all time and he didn't even need the world's greatest hype man, Emile Rosales, to hype it up! The first act is an introductory congratulations. Yep, this party has some major star power!

Felix: "T-Series! (Yeah!), It's your big day! (Woo!) Incredible job! I know we had our differences but today, I just wanna tell you…"

Joel and Felix: "A congratulations, it's a celebration! Party all day, I know you've been waitin' (Here we go!) A congratulations (Woo!), it's a celebration I just wanna tell you that I think that you're amazing!"

Felix: "A congratulations to your corporation. Guess to beat one Swedish boy, you need a billion Asians. Yeah, you did it very nice, and all it took was a massive corporate entity with every song in Bollywood. Now you're at number one, hope you did nothing wrong like starting your business by selling pirated songs.

Oops! Didn't think we'd see? It's right there on Wikipedia. Get used to your past being held against you by the media (Uh oh). I'm sure right now there's nothing that you're doing that's illegal, yeah! I'm certain that you haven't had collusions with the mafia.

For legal reasons, that's a joke  
For legal reasons, that's a joke  
For serious, Indian mafia, please don't kill me, that's a joke

India, I'm sorry 'bout the memes, you're the best! I love my Indian Bros, from Bombay to Bangladesh. I'll take on all the world for you, I'm a heavy hitter. 'Bout to cause a genocide so you can call me Hi-"

Joel and Felix: "A congratulations, it's a celebration! Party all day, I know you've been waitin' (Oh yeah!). A congratulations (Woo!), it's a celebration (Yeah!) I just wanna tell you that I think that you're amazing!

Congratulations (Uh)  
Congratulations (It's your big day!)  
Congratulations  
Congratulations (Such a big day)"

Felix: "I got a letter in the post, hmm, what is this? (Hmm) T-Series saying "Cease and Desist". Had a problem with me telling them to hold their defecation but let me educate you, silly, that's not defamation (Woo).

T-Series can eat a dick (Still not defamation)  
Suck my fucking Swedish meatballs (Still not defamation, yum)  
Did you know that Indians have poo-poo in their brains?"

David: "That's a blatant racist lie!"

Felix: "Yeah, but still not defamation (Woo)!"

David: "India got YouTube figured out, that's sick, son! How 'bout next you figure how to fix the caste system (Oof)? Maybe all those ads will solve your crippling poverty but looking at T-Series' past, I'm guessing not probably but never mind the poor people, we just here to party. Just here to pop some bottles with the 9-Year-Old Army."

Felix: "Non-alcoholic 'cause I had a real problem but we still out here living like we 'bout to kamikaze."

Felix: "So this is it, thanks for sticking with my channel ever since I was a nobody, screaming at barrels. Yeah, this is it, it's been an adventure. It's the end of the reign of Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg. Through all the change and controversy, you've been by my side, there's no army in the world I would rather give me watch time. It's been a wild ride, so while I can still be heard, here's one last brofist from the former number one in the world."

Joel and Felix: "A congratulations, it's a celebration (Oh)! Party all day (Skrra), I know you've been waitin' (Yeet, party all day, yeah)! A congratulations (Woo!), it's a celebration (Oh)! I just wanna tell you that I think that you're amazing!

Congratulations  
Congratulations (Skrattar du, it's your big day!)  
Congratulations (I'm fucking lit!)  
Congratulations (Such a big day!)  
Oh yeah, yeah!"

Felix: "Congratulations, T-Series! You did it! Yatta desu ne!  
Hope that #MeToo stuff doesn't severely affect your bottom line!"

* * *

While everyone was watching the littest party of all time, Lana recognizes our dazzling host.

"Woah, guys. I think the host is an SCP!"

"Are you sure, Lana? Which one?"

"230. I recognized him while looking for a webcomic page to test my ability on!"

"A Typecorp?" Lincoln questions

"Yep. Oversimplified SCP." Lana affirms

Lisa brings up SCP-230-EN's bio.

Objet #: SCP-230-EN

Classe: Euclide

Niveau de Menace: Jaune

Propriétés Spéciales: Biohazard

Procédures de Confinement Spéciales: SCP-230-EN doit être confiné dans une salle sécurisée du Site-██. La salle doit disposer d'un système de ventilation filtrant l'air sortant avant de le renvoyer dans les conduits de ventilation du Site. Chacune des requêtes de SCP-230-EN doit être satisfaite si ces dernières respectent les procédures de confinement. La porte doit être réglée pour se verrouiller automatiquement à chaque fois qu'elle est fermée et ne pourra être ouverte que de l'extérieur. Tout membre du personnel pénétrant dans la salle occupée par SCP-230-EN doit porter une tenue complète HAZMAT avec ses propres réserves d'oxygène. Tout membre du personnel ayant été exposé à l'air de la cellule de SCP-230-EN ou ayant eu un contact physique avec SCP-230-EN ou l'un de ses fluides corporels doit être appréhendé, confiné et gardé en observation pendant un (1) mois. Si les symptômes de SCP-230-EN persistent après un (1) mois, le membre du personnel sera exécuté. Si ces symptômes ne se manifestent plus après ce laps de temps, il doit être transféré vers un autre Site et interdit de tout contact futur avec SCP-230-EN.

Au vu des événements récents, les individus ayant été exposés puis n'étant plus sujets aux effets de SCP-230-EN doivent se soumettre à des examens psychologiques réguliers. Si ces examens révèlent chez le membre du personnel la présence de n'importe lequel des symptômes présents dans le Document 230-4436b, ce membre du personnel doit être exécuté.

NOTE: Le sujet a tenté à de nombreuses reprises de s'évader en utilisant le personnel exposé à SCP-230-EN. Ceci représente une menace faible, les membres du personnel affectés étant généralement dans un état de fatigue physique considérable; toutefois ces membres du personnel peuvent se montrer particulièrement violents afin de rester en présence de SCP-230-EN.

Description: SCP-230-EN est un humain mâle de type caucasien d'apparence mince et décharnée. SCP-230-EN mesure 185 cm, pèse 68,04 kg et semble être agé de plus ou moins trente ans. Il porte des vêtements clairs, avec une nette préférence pour le rose et le jaune. L'objet est un individu particulièrement joyeux ; il ne semble pas être capable d'exprimer d'émotions négatives.

SCP-230-EN sécrète un agent chimique similaire à l'héroïne avec ses pores. L'agent a été nommé Composé-███. Une fois sécrété, il s'évapore immédiatement et contamine l'air entourant SCP-230-EN. Le Composé-███ semble être efficace à partir du moment où sa concentration dans l'air excède 30 parties par million. Lorsqu'inhalé, le Composé-███ cause un état d'euphorie chez les sujets. Des analyses sur les Classe-D soumis aux effets du Composé-███ indiquent une concentration de dopamine supérieure à cinq fois la concentration moyenne lors d'un rapport sexuel. Les sujets montrent un affaiblissement semblable à celui causé par l'héroïne. Les individus affectés acceptent toute requête de SCP-230-EN (sauf si cette dernière implique de quitter SCP-230-EN).

Le Composé-███ est présent dans tous les fluides corporels de SCP-230-EN. L'exposition est possible par simple toucher de la peau de SCP-230-EN. Ladite exposition entraînera immédiatement la dépendance. Les symptômes du manque sont très violents et sont mortels dans 30 % des cas. Ceux-ci incluent : perte d'appétit, tremblements, irritabilité, panique, vomissements, diarrhée, folie, cécité, hémorragies ; ces symptômes varient d'un sujet à l'autre, mais aussi selon la quantité de Composé-███ auquel le sujet a été exposé. Les sujets ayant précédemment ingéré une portion des fluides corporels de SCP-230-EN ont un taux de mortalité de 100 % en situation de manque.

SCP-230-EN a été découvert dans un appartement à █████████ avec 20 personnes agissant comme ses serviteurs. SCP-230-EN semblait tenter de limiter le nombre de personnes qu'il exposait. Plusieurs corps de personnes exposées ont été trouvés dans l'habitation. Quand interrogé à propos de ces corps, SCP-230-EN a répondu: « On commençait à être foule, j'ai dû demander à certains d'entre eux d'arrêter de respirer. »

SCP-230-EN semble être sous l'effet du Composé-███, mais n'est pas dérangé par ce Composé. Les tentatives d'affecter l'humeur de SCP-230-EN se sont avérées infructueuses. L'usage de drogues causant la dépression ont poussé SCP-230-EN à produire plus de Composé-███ et par conséquent a été inefficace.

SCP-230-EN est un individu très amical et engagera candidement la conversation avec n'importe quel membre du personnel. SCP-230-EN ne sait pas comment il produit le Composé-███ et quand a-t-il commencé à le produire. Lorsqu'il est questionné à propos de son passé, SCP-230-EN répond qu'aussi loin qu'il se souvienne, il a toujours secrété le Composé-███.

SCP-230-EN préfère parler de sujets qu'il considère comme "bons" ou "gais". SCP-230-EN est très attaché au mot "gai" Lorsqu'il lui fut demandé de se décrire, SCP-230-EN utilisa le mot "gai" six fois, "gaieté" quatre fois, et la formule "le plus gai" une fois quand il se définit comme "l'homme le plus gai du monde."

Note du Dr ██████: L'attachement de SCP-230-EN au mot "gai" n'a rien à voir avec l'orientation sexuelle. SCP-230-EN ne semble pas avoir d'orientation sexuelle; il ne porte aucun intérêt au sexe. Cela a du sens, sachant que SCP-230-EN ressent la même quantité de plaisir lorsqu'il effectue n'importe quelle activité, rendant le sexe non nécessaire.

Addendum 230-1: Le membre du personnel de recherche de niveau 2 ██████ ███ fut accidentellement exposé au Composé-███ dans le cadre de ses activités. ██████ ███ fut enfermé et soigné pendant la durée des symptômes de manque. Après un mois, ██████ ███ fut relâché après avoir été confirmé comme n'étant plus soumis aux effets du Composé-███ par le personnel médical. Deux mois plus tard, ██████ ███ fut aperçu alors qu'il tentait de s'introduire dans la zone de confinement de SCP-230-EN. ██████ ███ fut exécuté après un examen, et des précautions ont été prises pour éviter que ceci ne se reproduisent; voir le document 230-4436b.

Document 230-4436b: [DONNÉES SUPPRIMÉES]

"Oh, this is really bad! SCP-230-EN secretes a chemical that acts like heroin. Anyone under Compound [EXPUNGED] will be subjugated by him! We need someone who can counteract the heroin gas' effects!" Lana states

"I'm just going to call it DAM-230, for conveniences sake."

"I know just the person."

"Hey, Lori."

"Carol, you're seeing the party, right?"

"It's the greatest party of all time, how could I not?"

"The people there might be mind controlled zombies!"

"What else is new?"

"No, this is serious! Lana thinks the host is SCP-230-EN! He emits a heroin like gas to control people!"

"What? That sounds crazy!"

"If you really can mind control people, we need your power to help combat his!"

"Well, that's great, but if we get anywhere near him, won't we be exposed to the gas' heroin like effects?"

"Lisa already has made biohazard suits for all of us. You can borrow one of mine."

"Alright, I'll be there."

"Ok, guys. It's time for Operation: Party Crashers!"

Carol arrives at the Loud House and everyone suits up to take the fight to SCP-230-EN! While they were getting ready, his next act has been performing, whipping up the crowd into a frenzied state!

* * *

James: "Ahhh! Such a beautiful day, uh! (Yeah!) The sun's shining in a beautiful way, uh! (Woo!) Gonna take a shower, brush my teeth and…"

David: "Life is ultimately meaningless."

James: "Uhh... Uhh, but I'll get out of the house! (Ha!) Get on the road, top down, hands out, (Woo). Put on my favorite song and nod to the rhythm…"

David: "The planet's being destroyed by your carbon emissions."

James: "Oh, but I- I-, I'll head to class. Try my best on every test 'til I pass and my grades are screaming in my face! (Ayy!)"

David: "98 percent of what you learn is a waste."

James: "I get to, hang out with all my friends! (Yeah) My friends are the friendliest friends! Can't think of a better way to spend my time-

David: "Your brain is flawed and all your friends will die."

James: "Never mind! I'm alive in the greatest nation, so proud of—"

David: "The exploitation of the natives?"

James: "This graceful bird means freedom for all!"

David: "Tell that to the slaves, and bald eagles aren't bald."

James: "I can live in the moment, milk every second!"

David: "At any time you could get clinical depression."

James: "But I'll just be happy, no matter what's in store."

David: "It's quite genetic and we have no cure."

James: "Uh, at least..."

James: "We are young!" David: "(Not for long.)"  
James: "Life is fun!" David: "(It only goes downhill.)"  
James: "We gotta make the most of it, make the most of it!' David: "(Or you'll regret it.)"  
James: "We are young!" David: "(For now.)"  
James: "Life is fun! (Woo!)" David: "(For some people...)"  
James: "We gotta make the most of it, make the most of it!" David: "(Good luck.)" *meow!*"

James: "Woo! I got a brand-new job today! (Yeah!) Doin' stuff that'll help the economy (Uh!) I'll save money and buy things at the store…"

David: "Banks can crash and capitalism is flawed."

James: "And it's all because of my hard work!"

David: "And the thousand advantages you lucked into at birth."

James: "I put a lotta effort in my resume."

David: "Good thing you don't have a black person's name."

James: "I'm proud to be a functioning member of society. Finally, I can be the citizen I dream to be. Part of the community, contribute with my tax what could possibly stop me? David: "(The shrinking middle class.)"

James: "Aaa! I've at least got a nice stable job."

David: "Until it's outsourced to China or replaced by a robot!" James: "(Oh, God!)"

James: "Well then I could relax a bit."

David: "You'll be empty with nothing to distract from it."

James: "But man, I'm a passionate graduate. I can be different and I have career paths to pick from. I could be a rapper or an animator if I'm lucky!"

David: "Neither of those will make you happy; trust me!"

James: "I'm able to choose what I pursue (Yeah!)"

David: "You're a slave to people born richer than you."

James: "Then screw it, I'll keep going in, then I'll party on the weekend and sing!"

David: "...thanks to autotune."

James: "We are young!" David: "(Not for long.)"  
James: "Life is fun!" David: "(It only goes downhill.)"  
James: "We gotta make the most of it  
Make the most of it!' David: "(Or you'll regret it.)"  
James: "We are young!" David: "(We still die.)"  
James: "Life is fun! (Woo!)" David: "(Until you die...)"  
James: "We gotta make the most of it, make the most of it!" David: "(Because you'll die.)" *meow!*"

James: "Life is a wonder!" David: "(You'll never know the answer.)"

James: "Nature is a miracle!" David: "(Natural disasters...)"

James: "It's good to be alive!" David: "(You could wake up with cancer.)"

James: "But I'm healthy?" David: "(Healthy people still get cancer.)"

James: "I love this show!" David: "(It's the last episode.)"

James: "The sun is shining!" David: "(It's going to explode.)"

James: "Every species is beautiful and unique though!"

David: "Children have malaria thanks to mosquitoes."

James: "I met a cute girl with a ponytail!"

David (dressed up like a girl and wearing a ponytail): "Statistically, that relationship is going to fail."

James: "I have a wonderful family; it's like no other!"

David: "You're not special, and one day, you'll bury your mother." James: "(Jeez, dude...)"

James: "No matter what, I can find a home!"

David: "WE. WILL ALL. DIE. ALONE."

James: "There's amazing potential in every human on earth!"

David: "There's no escaping the heat death of the universe."

James: "I don't have to live life based on negative parts; No matter how bad they are, they're just thoughts!"

David: "Yeah, that's fair..."

James: "Wait, really?"

David: "Yeah, that seems reasonable."

James: "Wai-wai-wai-wait! But you were just telling me...?"

David: "Whatever man, I don't know. Live your life how you want. I'm not forcing you to do anything, I'm just saying."

James: "Oh... Well, in that case..."

James: "We are young! Life is fun! We gotta make the most of it, make the most of it! We are young! Life is fun (Woo)! We gotta make the most of it, make the most of it!"

David: "Enjoy it while it lasts."

"No! That bastard Compound [EXPUNGED] James, man! Not James!"

* * *

"Oh, it looks like our guests of honor have finally arrived. We're throwing a party just for you!" SCP-230-EN says as invites the 11-person party up onstage

"Party's over, 230-EN."

"Oh no, it's just beginning. Hey, a little birdie told me about your breakdancing skills. Let's see if you can beat me while dancing to **THIS**!"

He presses a button and a familiar awesome beat begins to play. So, this is what he spent $50,000 dollars in royalty fees for! They begin the contest, but it seems pretty clear that SCP-230-EN has better dancing skills than Lisa! After all, he is the party king! Lisa is forced to admit defeat.

"It's time for the main event. Headliner, can you come out and give our guests a showstopping performance?"

"I'd be glad to, 230!"

That voice…no, it couldn't be!

Oh, but it is.

Out from the shadows of course it would be none other than Alex Beckham, or as we know him, the Man on the Internet! His irises are colored pink, showing that he too was exposed to DAM-230!

"I spared no expense to get some of the greatest musicians on the Internet to entertain you. Who dares to fight Alex Beckham in a musical duel for the ages?!"

"I will."

Carol steps up and volunteers. Maybe her mind control ability can rehabilitate these poor heroin addicts, I mean, partygoers.

"Well, this will be one of the greatest musical events of our time. Alex, take it away!"

Alex dons a magnificent jester attire with glorious wings attached to the back. Four people in suit masks come on stage.

"For his first song in this brutal war of musical attrition, it's The World Revolving by Toby Fox, due to the chaotic nature of this first song of the Chaos Trinity, I allowed him to have these backup singers, all you have to do, princess, is to counter his lyrics with your own, but seeing as Alex is a musical god, there's possibly no way for you to win! Now, let the duel begin."

(Up and down and up and down x5 lead them, feed them to the clown x4 x2)  
[Left and right and left and right x5 see the cause of this endless blight x4 x2]

"**Anything I do is no sin!"**  
_"Ambition opens a locked gate"_

Carol notices as soon as she counters Alex's lyrics, the audience members closest to her have their right irises change into a cyan-royal blue hybrid color. She might be able to free them from SCP-230-EN's control. But just like any heroin addict, these partygoers can relapse. Carol continues countering Alex!

"**So, let the chaos begin!"  
**_"Finally, let chaos ablate"_

"**Freedom denies the right to choose!"  
**_"This side quest, it is such a snooze"_

"_**In this game, everyone will lose!"**_

"**Now we are finally free!"**  
_"Jevil is on a killing spree"_

"**Everyone knows the best place to hide is insanity!"  
**_"Toby Fox's grand desire will end in tragedy"_

"**Meanwhile the world will spin"  
**_"See spiteful grins"_

"**Hypnotizing, terrorizing"**  
_"Traumatizing, horrifying"_

"**Those locked within!"**  
_"And yet, we must peer in!"_

"**Chaos, chaos, let it rain"**  
_"Madness, sadness, let them reign"_

"**All these bugs are in my brain"**  
_"Chaos trio, they will deign"_

"**I see now a world gone blind"**  
_"PTSD has warped perception"_

"**That is how I found my mind"**  
_"Ever since this game's inception"_

(All around the game of life, we laugh we play and revel, don't fall off the carousel, or else you'll meet the devil, all his gathered sin begat, the father to the child, what a mess we're in but now the joker's running wild! x2)  
[All the pain and all the strife, we cry, we die and wonder why, succumb to the madness of the mind, come on now just suicide, all this wretched world's sorrow, to now the Holy Ghost, all will drown but still we're all toast x2]

"**We're created just to die"**  
_"To suffer tears my eyes"_

"**Mortal sin's the reason why"**  
_"Gaze upon the reaper's scythe"_

"**You can't stop what has begun"**  
_"Can not hide and can not run"_

"**Might as well have so much fun"**  
_"Sanity is all but spun"_

"**When the light is running low"**  
_"Darkness creeps to and fro"_

"**And the shadows start to grow"**  
_"As fear replaces our sorrow"_

"**And the places that you know"**  
_"Have reaped the seeds they have sown"_

"**Cut away the afterglow"**  
_"Shadows all in stow"_

"**There's a light inside your soul"**  
_"My spirit, so bereft"_

"**Slowly shrinking in the cold"**  
_"Has shattered, nothing left"_

"**From the truth deep down you know"  
**_"From the runes in darkness glean"_

"**and yet darker we will go."**  
_"A cursed entry seventeen"_

(Up and down and up and down x5 lead them, feed them to the clown x4 x2)  
[Left and right and left and right x5 see the cause of this endless blight x4 x2]

(all around the game of life, we laugh we play and revel, don't fall off the carousel, or else you'll meet the devil, all his gathered sin begat, the father to the child, what a mess we're in but now the joker's running wild! x2)  
[All the pain and all the strife, we cry, we die and wonder why, succumb to the madness of the mind, come on now just suicide, all this wretched world's sorrow, to now the Holy Ghost, all will drown but still we're all toast x2]

"**Can't you see?"**  
_"No place I'd rather be"_

(The best place to hide is insanity, uee hee hee!)  
[It is time to end this tragedy, uee hee hee!]

"**Your world's a fantasy! x4"**  
_"I can see beauty! x4"_

"Thanks for the backup, you four!" Carol acknowledges

"No problem!" Lola, Lana, Lucy and Leni reciprocate

"Now let's who these backup singers are!" Lincoln says

"Oh, you want to know about these singers? Well, who am I to deprive such knowledge?!"

SCP-230-EN snaps his fingers and they drop their masks. They look like anime schoolgirls. But anime isn't real! Is it?

"Aoi Ryugoku, Akane Toriyasu, Kuroko Kamenaga and Shiromi Torayoshi…" Lisa reads

"Yep, I got these babies from a shady Japanese robotics company. It cost 5 million yen for one of them, but thankfully, they gave me these four prototypes to test out. I think the company's name is Psycho Corp or something like that."

"Oh man, the degenerates out there are going to think anime is real now and are going to buy these over glorified sex robots! They can now brag on the Internet about how they actually married their waifu!" Lincoln complains

"Hey age of consent is 13 in Japan and 18 in Tokyo. The robots "age" is around 18, so they're good, even though they are degenerate weeaboos. Anyway, this playlist isn't over! The rest of the songs are solo, so the gynoids won't be needed anymore."

The gynoids leave.

* * *

"And our second song will be another Chaos Trinity song, The Ultimate Show by Naoko Mitome and Chika Sekigawa! And so, with the deftness of a finger snap that wiped out half of Marvel's revenue, it begins!"

"**Up and down on this merry go round"  
**_"Here we are in absence of sound"_

"**Destinations you'll never know"  
**_"Places that will all go"_

"**Now we find it's the end of the line"  
**_"Here we fight, one last time"_

"_**Here we go, it's the ultimate show"**_

"**We perform, we rewrite the norm"  
**_"We fight, for the world's delight"_

"**And sing a song of nothing"  
**_"To stop dimensions ending"_

"**From the void, the circus horns"  
**_"How dare you pesky thorns"_

"**Proclaim the power rushing!"  
**_"Not see the power flushing?!"_

"_**Onward we go!"  
"To the ultimate show!"**_

"**The show goes on"  
**_"Here upon"_

"**For the weak and strong"  
**_"death through aplomb"_

"**And a perfect world"  
**_"As dimensions unfurl"_

"**Is within my grasp"  
**_"Our hands we clasp"_

"**Now I have the last laugh"**

"**You lit the fire"  
**_"Chaos' desire"_

"**Now watch it burn"  
**_"Yet we yearn"_

"**Now you will learn"  
**_"The tides will turn"_

"**Now you face the end of days"  
**_"Insanity in a confined space"_

"**Take a bow as the curtains go down"  
**_"And as we all frown"_

"**Up and down on this merry go round"  
**_"Here we are in absence of sound"_

"**My time is now!"  
"My time is now!"**

"_**Bold to assume that I won't have the last laugh"**_

"**Up and down on this merry go round"  
**_"As destruction swirls all around"_

"**Worlds on an empty page I will write"  
**"A madman's reigns with might"

"**Now we find it's the end of the line"  
**_"It is time to end this fine"_

"**Tuck your world in and kiss it good night!"  
**_"Plan and bring back the light"_

"**We perform, we rewrite the norm"  
**_"As the jester's madness swarms"_

"**The chaos heartbeat booming"  
**_"The threat of cessation ever looming"_

"**From the void, the circus horns"  
**_"Us annoyed, the power of scorn"_

"**Proclaim the power consuming!"  
**_"Battles the power exuding!"_

"_**Onward we go!"  
"To the ultimate show!"**_

"**The show goes on"  
**_"Here upon"_

"**For the weak and strong"  
**_"Death through aplomb"_

"**And a perfect world"  
**_"As dimensions unfurl"_

"**Is within my grasp"  
**_"Our hands we clasp"_

"**Now I have the last laugh"**

"**Within the chaos"  
**_"Is all lost?"_

"**Dark matter bends"  
**_"Is it the end?_

"**Your game will end"  
**_"Our universe he will rend"_

"**Now you face the end of days"  
**_"Never again will we see the sun's rays"_

"**Take a bow as the curtains go down"  
**_"He has won, no more frowns"_

"**Up and down on this merry go round"  
**_"Here we are in absence of sound"_

"**My time is now!"  
"My time is now!"**

"_**Bold to assume that I won't have the last laugh"**_

* * *

"See if you can finish the Chaos Trinity, princess! Last is Marx's Theme by Jun Ishikawa and Dan Miyakawa! Come on, but know that Alex will still beat you!"

"**Spiraling, ever whirling,"  
**_"Spatial curling and"_

"**A twirl to the hurdy-gurdy's tune!"  
**_"Temporal distortions too soon"_

"**Space and time unfurling,"  
**_"Dimensions collapsing,"_

"**A war between the sun and moon!"  
**_"All thanks to this buffoon"_

"**Telling only lies"  
**_"Fighting back tears"_

"**See without your eyes"  
**_"From apocalyptic seers"_

"**Wish on the rise"  
**_"Just to get a rise"_

"**Or everyone dies!"  
**_"Cause everyone dies!"_

"**All design, now unfolding,"  
**_"A demon smoldering,"_

"**We hold in a reckoning for crimes"  
**_"selling our souls for dimes"_

"**Of time, growing hold"  
**_"in daylight, how bold"_

"**In your galaxy's starlit shine!"  
**_"The galaxy's still fine!"_

"**Rip apart the whole!"  
**_"I already sold my soul!"_

"**Know that heads will roll!"  
**_"Virtues I'll extoll!"_

"**Lose all control!"  
"I'm in control!"**

"**Skip through the flowers!"  
**_"This feeling tastes sour!"_

"**While away the hours!"  
**_"Don't be so dour!"_

"**Give me the power"  
**_"Topple the tower"_

"**Or end up dead!"**

"**You won't believe"  
**_"You'll be relieved"_

"**What goes on in my head!"  
**_"That the nightmare never ends!"_

"**Run around the world in a perfect race!"  
**_"Cute your trying to save face!"_

"**Leave a little mark upon time and space!"  
**_"You'll never stop this little craze!"_

"**Everything you've done will be erased"  
**_"Trapped within their little maze!"_

"**Everyone will bow to me!"**

"**Run around the world in a perfect race!"  
**_"Cute your trying to save face!"_

"**Leave a little mark upon time and space!"  
**_"You'll never stop this little craze!"_

"**Everything you've done will be erased"  
**"Trapped within their little maze!"

"**Cause this is my fantasy!"  
**_"Time to end this anarchy!"_

"**You think it's strange"  
**_"You want me to change"_

"**You think that I'm deranged?"  
**_"That I'll turn the page?"_

"**You want to stop this scheme?"  
**_"Silence the screams?"_

"**Demon in pink"  
**_"Chaos god in pink"_

"**Who can't think what I think"  
**_"Who cares what you think"_

"_**Why should you be the only one to dream?"**_

"**Spiraling, ever whirling,"  
**_**"**__Think you've still got verve,"_

"**A twirl to the hurdy-gurdy's tune!"  
**_"See as I unnerve!"_

"**I've gone topsy-turvy,"  
**_"Reality's gone curvy,"_

"**The loon now in flotsam festooned!"  
**_"And wrapped with a nebular bow!"_

"**Now the soul is fried!"  
**_"See derangement inside!"_

"**Seeds thrown to the tide"  
**"Sanity's aside"

"**Wishes denied,"  
**_"I lied, now"_

"**Everyone dies!"**

"**All design, now unfolding,"  
**_"I am the one holding,"_

"**We hold in a reckoning for crimes"  
**_"Despite a soul covered in grime"_

"**Of time, growing bold"  
**_"Reality in my hands"_

"**In your galaxy's starlit shine!"  
**_"As the galaxy ever expands!"_

"**Rip apart the whole!"  
**_"I already sold my soul!"_

"**Know that heads will roll!"  
**_"Virtues I'll extoll!"_

"**Lose all control!"  
"No more control!"**

"**Warp to and fro!"  
**_"As power grows!"_

"**Onward we go"  
**_"Caution we'll throw"_

"**You'll never know"  
**_"Chaos like snow"_

"**What goes on in my head!"  
**_"infecting even the dead!"_

"**But it won't matter"  
**_"You'll be a splatter"_

"**When everyone's dead!"  
**_"When everything's said!"_

"**Run around the world in a perfect race!"  
**_"Cute your trying to save face!"_

"**Leave a little mark upon time and space!"  
**_"You'll never stop this little craze!"_

"**Everything you've done will be erased"  
**_"Trapped within their little maze!"_

"**Everyone will bow to me!"**

"**Run around the world in a perfect race!"  
**_"Cute your trying to save face!"_

"**Leave a little mark upon time and space!"  
**_"You'll never stop this little craze!"_

"**Everything you've done will be erased"  
**_"Trapped within their little maze!"_

"**Cause this is my fantasy!"  
**_"I will end this monarchy!"_

"**So, I've been strange"  
**_"I will never change"_

"**So, I am deranged"  
**_"Turns will never page"_

"**Without you. I'd never have this scheme!"  
**_"All for a chance for this theme!"_

"**Demon in pink"  
**_"Chaos god in pink"_

"**See the depths that I sink"  
**_"We are two of a kind"_

"**At least I dared to dream!"  
**_"My true self you will find!"_

* * *

"Damn, you actually managed to keep up?! I'm impressed, princess! But Alex's vocal cords are just getting warmed up. You may have survived the Chaos Trinity, but he still has two more songs. I bet you need to rest your precious diaphragm! Ha, Alex here can belt out a quintet of songs all at once without rest! All of that practice doing Man on The Internet videos really helped! Maybe, we need to up the ante with special effects! Well, girlie! This one is a collaboration! Fourth up, we have the man, the myth, the legend himself, Luke Sizemore, AKA Yungtown!"

We hear the "dem games" intro that Luke has and he joins Alex up on stage.

"Still want to go on, knowing now, that you'll have to sing against two great music makers, at least for this song?"

"Yes."

"I like your moxie, kid. Let the competition continue."

Luke: **"Run along this forest trail"  
**_"Go across these travails"_

"**Now you'll find you'll fail"  
**_"Now I can't exhale"_

"**Never going to reach that goal"  
**_"Something precious that he stole"_

"_**Now give me your soul"**_

Alex: **"Some advice"  
**_"Helpful tips"_

"**Don't think twice"  
**_"Don't be a twit"_

"**Should have known I wasn't nice"  
**_"Think this is some sort of skit?"_

"**Off with your head"  
**_"Now to execute"_

"**Ta ta, you're dead"  
**"You, how cute"

"**Got no more use for you"**

"**And when you signed that dotted line"  
**_"When I signed that cursed contract"_

"**You should have thought it through"  
**_"My life it did detract"_

"**Your subconscious hanging on,"  
**_"Tear apart your encephalon"_

"**Clinging to your fear"  
**_"Not what it appears"_

"**Every haunt just moved along"  
**_"Maybe I'll just sing this song"_

"_**But now the Snatcher's here!"**_

Both: **"And the weird and the wild"  
**_"And now this useful child"_

"**Should have left you all beguiled"  
**_"All my paperwork's been filed"_

"_**Guess that's that"**_

"**You hat wearing child"  
**_"You're no longer wild"_

"**Did my jobs and took time to bask"  
**_"Six jobs, and never slacked"_

"**Now it's time to take you to task!"  
**_"Snatcher's now on the attack!"_

"**And while the ink is slowly drying"  
**_"As the blood is slowly drying"_

"**It's time that you get dying!"  
**_"No more time for crying"_

"**Your Contract Has Expired"  
**_"Hope for a referral"_

"**Sleep now in the fire!"  
**_"Burn in the inferno!"_

"**You're gonna meet your match"  
**_"The hardest boss, by natch"_

"**Your soul belongs to Snatcher!"  
**_"My soul belongs to Snatcher!"_

"_**Now let's sing higher!"**_

"**And the weird and the wild"  
**_"And now this useful child"_

"**Should have left you all beguiled"  
**_"All my paperwork's been filed"_

"_**Guess that's that"**_

"**You hat wearing child"  
**_"You're no longer wild"_

"**Did my jobs and took time to bask"  
**_"Six jobs, and never slacked"_

"**Now it's time to take you to task!"  
**_"Snatcher's now on the attack!"_

"**And while the ink is slowly drying"  
**_"As the blood is slowly drying"_

"**It's time that you get dying!"  
**_"No more time for crying"_

"**Your Contract Has Expired"  
**_"Hope for a referral"_

"**Sleep now in the fire!"  
**_"Burn in the inferno!"_

"**You're gonna meet your match"  
**_"The hardest boss, by natch"_

"**Your soul belongs to Snatcher!"  
**_"My soul belongs to Snatcher!"_

"**Your service is no longer required!"**

"Listen, while you have a break. I just want to say I don't think you're appreciating the fact that you're sing fighting both Alex Beckham and Luke Sizemore on the same song. Just needed to get that off my chest."

Alex: **"Some advice"  
**_"Helpful tip"_

"**Don't think twice"  
**_"No more quips"_

"**Should have known I wasn't nice"  
**_"Don't even try to throw a fit"_

"**And when you signed that dotted line"  
**_"Come and sign your soul away"_

"**You should have thought it through"  
**_"Because I'll have it anyway"_

Luke: **"If you think that I'm a stink"  
**_"What's the matter, fink?"_

"**Then get a lawyer!"  
**_"Now you're in the drink!"_

"**Cause I'm the best employer!"  
**_"Should you have served a queen?"_

"**Got complaints? You got a form?"  
**_"In Subcon here, it's endless screams!_

"**Let's review how you perform!"  
**_"Don't get cold feet, you!"_

"**Your subconscious hanging on,"  
**_"Tear apart your encephalon"_

"**Clinging to your fear"  
**_"Not what it appears"_

"**Every haunt just moved along"  
**_"How'd it all go wrong?"_

"_**But now the Snatcher's here!"**_

Both: **"And the weird and the wild"  
**_"And now this useful child"_

"**Should have left you all beguiled"  
**_"All my paperwork's been filed"_

"_**Guess that's that"**_

"**You hat wearing child"  
**_"You're no longer wild"_

"**Did my jobs and took time to bask"  
**_"Six jobs, and never slacked"_

"**Now it's time to take you to task!"  
**_"Snatcher's now on the attack!"_

"**And while the ink is slowly drying"  
**_"As the blood is slowly drying_**"**

"**It's time that you get dying!"  
**_"No more time for crying"_

"**Your Contract Has Expired"  
**_"Hope for a referral"_

"**Sleep now in the fire!"  
**_"Burn in the inferno!"_

"**You're gonna meet your match"  
**_"The hardest boss, by natch"_

"**Your soul belongs to Snatcher!"  
**_"My soul belongs to Snatcher!"_

"**Your service is no longer required!"**

"You know, if they keep singing like this, you'll never be able to turn Luke blue, so there! What, Luke ran out of oxygen? How is that possible, he's a rapper! You've got to be cheating! Don't tell me Alex is somehow getting winded, too. This is adding injury to insult."

* * *

"Impressive. What's your name?"

"Carol."

"Well, Carol. I have to commend you for singing four songs in a row. But now's the time to break out my secret weapon! I've been saving this exosuit for an occasion such as this!"

Alex drags out a robot body. It looks familiar somehow.

"Oh no."

"**OH YES**!"

Alex and the exosuit merge into one entity!

Carol CHECKS the new entity.

Beckaton DX ATK: ? DEF: 99; A fusion of Alex Beckham and Mettaton NEO. With Mettaton NEO's fabulous legs and Alex Beckham's gorgeous voice, they are considered to be the ultimate lifeform.

Is it even possible to duel this magnificent specimen?!

"Oh no, he's hot!" Someone in the crowd shouts

Beckaton DX draws out what looks like lightsabers and he starts firing at Carol with his arm cannon. Party poppers start exploding around her!

"Party poppers?"

"It was supposed to be dynamite, but our ethics department said it was too lethal. It's like they don't get that Mettaton's personality is more explosive than 100 jihadists suicide bombing all at once!"

**My name is Beckaton  
And I am here to say  
With our new form  
We shall slay**

**Extending the party  
For the daughters of man  
Singing a power ballad  
Like no one else can!**

**Real performers never fear  
Real performers laugh at death  
They will entertain us all  
Until their final breath**

**I dedicate my life  
making music till day and night  
Be happy, Carol and Louds  
Because it's opening night!**

**Drama, romance, bloodshed  
He did bring  
**We love you, Beckaton! We love you, Beckaton!**  
But this grand party is his everything!  
**We love you, Beckaton! We love you, Beckaton!**  
Unleashing all my voice's vocal range!**  
We love you, Beckaton! We love you, Beckaton!  
**All for your one-track minds to change!  
**We love you, Beckaton! We love you, Beckaton!

**Gazing upon the starlit sky  
Giving moonlit wings and the power to fly  
The curtain falls, attendance I bring  
These ballades I sing!**

**They will all remember me  
As the headliner for 230's party  
I will try, though I tire  
To energize your fire!**

**My name is Beckaton  
And I am here to stay  
I will perform forever  
And entertain away**

**Just try and stop me  
If you think you can  
This party won't stop  
Not even to gentle daughters of man!**

**Real performers never fear  
Real performers laugh at death  
They will entertain us all  
Until their final breath**

**I dedicate my life  
making music till day and night  
Be happy, Carol and Louds  
Because it's opening night!**

**How do you think this will end?  
**Come on now, Beckaton! Come on now, Beckaton!  
**After the enjoyment of heroes, children and friends  
**Come on now, Beckaton! Come on now, Beckaton!  
**His mindless march toward an ultimate goal  
**Come on now, Beckaton! Come on now, Beckaton!  
**Is he even the one in control?  
**Come on now, Beckaton! Come on now, Beckaton!

**If this is our final meeting  
Twas a pity, rather fleeting  
If it means everyone enjoyed  
Then my job's done.**

**SCP-230-EN, you were too late  
20,000 did evacuate  
If 1,500 will die, at least they got high  
Watching me**

**My name is Beckaton  
And let no one say  
Your compound won't control me  
Either way**

**I'll sacrifice my life  
By doing what is right  
Each second that I'm stalling  
I've saved another life**

**Real performers never fear  
Real performers laugh at death  
They will entertain us all  
Until their final breath**

**I dedicate my life  
making music till day and night  
Despair, Carol and Louds  
Now it's closing night!**

**The end of the party, I face it with pride  
**Exploding Beckaton! Exploding Beckaton!**  
If I have even the slimmest chance to stop his sick dopamine ride!  
**Exploding Beckaton! Exploding Beckaton!  
**You heroines must prevail  
**Exploding Beckaton! Exploding Beckaton!  
**So I will support you and end this part of the tale  
**Exploding Beckaton! Exploding Beckaton!

**You will all remember me  
I am the one that ended the party  
I must try even though I will die  
To protect Earth and its queens!**

**Gazing upon the starlit sky  
Giving astral wings and the power to fly  
Curtains fall, attention I bring  
These ballades I sing!**

The exosuit overheats, forcing Alex to bail. He receives some minor injuries but is still fine. With his irises back to normal he escapes this dopamine trap! He prays that he isn't part of the 30% that won't survive the detox!

"Oh man, the headliner bailed on us! Ah well, it's time for the closing act anyway. And I booked a superstar among superstars."

* * *

"Oh shit, SCP-230-EN got the Queen B. Mad respect." Lori states

"Wow, that was utter cringe. But no, I did not get Beyonce. I am not a billionaire. I got someone even better! Come on out, superstar."

A woman approaches the group, she appears to look pretty good. She has black hair but her irises are also pink! No, another celebrity influenced by DAM-230!

"Believe it or not, as of the time of recording this, she's actually close to 50 years old!"

"Who is he talking to?"

"The cosmic entities. You know, the ones that watch us. Around 2 million of them at our most popular."

"Oh. We still don't know who this woman is."

"Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I don't really have a song for you guys to sing so…"

SCP-230-EN looks at a brainwashed kid playing Persona 4 on a PSP. He then gets an idea.

"Alright, party people. One of you is going to duel Nika by singing a rap to "I Face Myself" from Persona 4. Who'll volunteer?"

"Carol?"

"Sorry guys, my throat is sore from dueling Alex. Why don't you ask Luna? She's the musical one, isn't she?"

The rest of the group cheers Luna on, so of course she had to do it.

"You are the shadow. I am your true self. You are merely 1 of 274 facets of me. Now, it's time to put you back into place."

"Ok, Let's end on a high note. I'm sure we all want to go home. Let the final song begin."

* * *

Nika: "It's cute that you thought you could break away. Now it's time for me to exercise my say. As a part of my personality, the only choice now is to merge with me."

Luna: "You are not the one who controls me. It's time for me to express my individuality. As my voice, join up with me. And we can all live happily."

Nika: "No, don't be daft! I'll never agree to that! You will always be a part of me!

Luna: "Then, maybe, I don't need you! It's time for me to finally break free!

"Ah, not bad ladies. Sorry to cut the song so short, but I'm sure our viewers have gotten song fatigue. Well, audience. Who was better according to that little snippet? Luna Loud or Nika Futterman? Cast your ballots!"

"They do so by raising their hands. Luna first, then Nika."

"Well, that was a lot of hands from me to count, but I think there's a slight edge going to Luna here. Of course, there may be a chance that had the second loop been sung, Nika might have won. But as for now, good night, party people. I'm leaving!"

SCP-230-EN drunkenly stumbles toward the night, eventually falling through an Anomalous Burst and ending up back in his containment cell. He passes out from one of the most headache inducing dopamine hangovers ever.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Royal Woods, the people under DAM-230 begin to leave with no ill effects. 900 of them died from the 3-week detox period afterwards, however (don't worry, they were all random citizens, even the minor characters escaped unharmed). You see, if anyone is exposed to the heroin gas that SCP-230-EN produces. They have a 30% chance to experience a relapse death. Thankfully, none of the attendees drank any of SCP-230-EN's blood, sweat, tears or semen, otherwise it will be a guaranteed 100% chance of death! Considering 1,500 of them were supposed to die, this is a marked improvement! Only an 18% death rate!

As for the celebrity cameos, Felix and Joel survived, David died, James survived, Alex survived, Luke died, Nika survived. So, here are their obituaries.

David "Boyinaband" Brown  
August 24, 1987-April 8, 2019  
COD: DAM-230 withdrawal

Luke "Yungtown" Sizemore  
August 31, 1990-April 14, 2019  
COD: DAM-230 withdrawal

"SCP-230-EN! Where were you? We had the whole site on lockdown!"

"Oh, I fell through some rainbow crack in my cell and ended up in some town! I threw the greatest party ever! My head hurts from all the fun though."

"I think I need to get off of the amnestics today."


	14. Down On The Farm

A few days have passed since the SCP-230-EN incident. After the initial shock of 900 random attendees dying from the detox, life has resumed to a state of relative calm. Lincoln has already gone to his friend, Liam's, farm to discuss the future state of events.

"Hey, Liam; Did you see the party a few weeks ago?"

"Yeah, it was the talk of the whole talk of the town! Everyone at school couldn't stop talking about it! Even though you didn't really do much to help stop SCP-230-EN, people are still jealous over the fact you got to meet seven different celebrities!"

"Tell me about it. Lori and Carol got bombarded by people at their school, fawning over how Carol actually got the privilege to sing fight _**the **_legend himself, Alex Beckham! Lori told me that all the girls over there were fawning over how hot Alex was and not even giving a damn about how Carol almost lost her voice singing in their duel. Seriously! The woman had to sing four songs back to back to back to back without breaks!"

"I'll admit, it's not my kind of party, but she did sing pretty well for a city slicker. Especially against an artist of his caliber."

"It's just too bad David and Luke didn't survive the detox. RIP Boyinaband and Yungtown…"

The two friends stop reminiscing, they were supposed to do something here, weren't they?

"So, about these anomalies…"

"Before you ask, we're not slaughtering the farm animals, at least the ones that produce something, if the apocalypse comes."

"Why did you think I was going to ask that?"

"Because Zach asked me the same thing. He told me about some unrealistic zombie show that his conspiracy theorist parents watch and how that in the tie in game, there was a farm that only had a cow left after the zombies showed up."

"Huh, I may have heard that one before."

"Now, I may not know about Zach, but I'm not about to resort to cannibalism to stay alive, unlike you sickos."

"Wait, what?!"

"Oh, Zach read some horror story on the Internet where your genius sister accidently nuked Royal Woods while trying to make some government project. Basically, everything around a 250-meter radius from the blast zone was dead. It was kind of like Fallout, but even edgier. Anyways, just like the zombie show, the most dangerous things are the people changed by the event, but unlike the show, not everyone dies. I think only 3 of your sisters died? Anyways, one of your sisters tried to leave, but this would break the masquerade, so let's just say if you played that zombie game, you know what happened."

"Dang, really?!" Lincoln says, his heart entering a tachycardic arrythmia

"Yeah, I don't know if I got that exactly right. Zach tried to find it again, but it vanished off the Internet. He said something about the writer retiring or something."

Liam notices Lincoln panicking.

"Geeze, Lincoln, It's just a story. We know you're not really like that!"

* * *

Suddenly, an Anomalous Burst appears in the sky overhead Liam's farm. It drops not one, but two SCP anomalies! The first is a sheep. Baa baa white sheep, spare you any wool? It walks around grazing on the grass inside the property before emitting an electrical discharge!

"Huh, I guess androids really do dream of electric sheep. I'll have to tell Lisa that later."

"Yeah, that's great but that sheep just shot electricity at us!"

"And it looks like it's charging up again! Duck!"

The two boys duck as lighting zooms over their heads. It strikes a fencepost. Thankfully, it was a plastic fencepost.

"What do we do? We can't get close to him without getting zapped!"

"Maybe there's only one thing to do…"

Liam heads toward the Anomalous Burst. Maybe he can get an anomaly to stop the sheep.

"Liam, it's too random! You might get electricity powers too!"

"Anything's better than being shot at!"

Liam goes over the spot where the burst is and lets himself be bathed in its light. But another anomaly appears to emerge. It looks like a tree branch. Lincoln immediately recognizes it, as Lana showed a picture of it to him because she thought it was cute, and it is, but it's also very deadly!

"LIAM, GET OUT OF THERE NOW!"

Liam notices what looks like a gnarled mass of twisted roots attempting to come out. What looks like a horse leg comes sticking out of the crack. He decides to bolt. A beautiful horse leaps out of the burst, which seals behind it. Lincoln decides to inform his sisters of the cute threat and runs all the way back to his house, leaving Liam behind.

Liam is scared that two anomalies are on the farm and both are super dangerous. Though, he's not sure if the sheep discharging electricity everywhere or the tangled mass of roots in the shape of a horse is more dangerous.

* * *

"Lisa, I need a hazmat suit."

"Oh, elder brother. Is it another anomaly?"

"Two, I need one quick before they do something terrible to Liam!"

"Sure, take it!"

Lincoln suits up and races back to rescue his friend.

* * *

The sheep begins to fire off another electrical discharge and…

Liam catches it and throws the lightning back at the sheep. It didn't do anything because it was immune to electricity, but it was still pretty awesome.

The wooden horse approaches Liam and…lets Liam head pat it. It was adorable. I guess the horsey isn't a dangerous SCP after all!

"Well, aren't you cute."

Lincoln comes back, out of breath and sweaty since he was wearing that hazmat suit all the way here.

"Liam. Did you touch that horse?"

"Yeah, why."

"I am so sorry, Liam. But you are going to suffer a fate worse than death. See, that is SCP-805-EN, Poison Wood Foal. It may look like an adorable horsey and it is, but it is super dangerous!"

"No, it isn't, I just touched it."

"Damn, if only we had the panacea. You must be in the primary stages of infection. See, even though all 805-EN wants are head pats, anyone it touches turns into an immotile tree statue that can still feel pain! The infection looks like a green or brownish rash and will turn you into a tree in around 3-8 hours."

Liam looks at his hands.

"Nope, no rash."

Lincoln looks at Liam's hands, not even a blister!

"What?! Normally people who touch it would be in excruciating pain! For some reason it's not affecting you, and I don't want to test our immunities to certain anomalies because we shouldn't have any!"

* * *

That sheep begins baaing aggressively and making angry ram noises. I think it's jealous that Liam gave SCP-805-EN attention. He fires off several rounds of electrical discharge. This time the lighting strikes the two boys and knocks Lincoln down.

"Good thing this biohazard suit is rubber."

As for Liam, the electricity didn't do anything. It's like the electricity passed through him and entered the ground.

"Huh?"

"No way! You're immune to lightning now?!"

Liam is left wondering how this is possible? The burst should have given him something to help deal with these anomalies. He just can't figure out what it is.

"Ah, anyway. The sheep is SCP-594-EN, Electric Sheep. They are highly aggressive and territorial sheep, similar to that of an Argali, that produce a ludicrous amount of static electricity. They can generate so much electricity they can walk on air by manipulating the EM fields around it! If the 1314/448 mature to immature ratio is not met then [DATA EXPUNGED]."

Liam is a bit confused at all the technobabble.

"Look, these two are dangerous, unless you have something that can deal with electricity constantly, the sheep might have to go. As for the horse, no one can touch it without a hazmat suit."

Yeah, you're right.

Lincoln leaves, but now what? Liam has two dangerous SCPs to deal with. While he can slaughter SCP-594-EN and get some of that famous thunder mutton, he can't exactly get rid of SCP-805-EN in the same manner. It's too adorable to kill and too dangerous to let it run free. This is quite the predicament.


	15. J'ai Mal

**#NeverForgetFrance**

**Warning: This chapter contains spoilers for SCP-001-KAKTUS-4, codename: "The Way It Ends". If you have not read it, then please, go read it now. It's probably one of the best stories ever made on the SCP Foundation. Seriously, read it! Once you're done reading the Avengers: Endgame of the SCP Foundation, come back here. We'll be waiting.**

* * *

"_What, phosgene?"_

"_Apparently, Lindsay Sweetwater and a police officer died from pulmonary oedemas and embolisms caused by phosgene poisoning."_

"_Wait, Lindsay's dead?!"_

"_Yeah, I just said that."_

"_Lindsay might be an annoying brat and worse than 10 of me combined, but even she doesn't deserve to die in such an undignified manner!"_

"_Huh, sounds like someone we know."_

"_As such, I'm quarantining you in Lincoln's room, while he rooms with Lana. All of your stuff will be moved in there."_

"_How? I have a large stuffed animal collection, my many pageant awards, hundreds of dresses, my vanity, all of my photo shoot pictures and my bed!"_

"_Yeah, we may have to downsize some of that stuff to get everything to fit…beside the point however, Protocol Pripyat has been instated."_

"_What does that mean?"_

"_It means either we all wear a hazmat suit to protect from your bio-shield, or you wear one and keep the bio-shield from spreading to us. I will also be personally sanitizing anything you touch, as the bacteria will linger if not properly sanitized. We also are to stay 25 feet away from you if you aren't in the suit. The bacteria are airborne, so we don't want anyone infected, now do we?"_

"_There's bacteria on me?! Gross! Get it off!"_

"_The entire world is covered in bacteria, but most of them are harmless. Like the ones inside your stomach. They help you digest food. By the way, I noticed that your stomach acid isn't hydrochloric acid like normal people. Yours releases perchloric acid and your body releases sodium percarbonate to neutralize it. Instead of a 32.5% hydrogen peroxide mix, which would kill you, the concentration is only at 3%."_

"_Wait, so how do I digest food then if the acid kills all the bacteria?"_

"_The acid dissolves it. It's actually highly efficient since only minimal waste products are left behind."_

"_But what about the bacteria on the outside of me?"_

"_Ah yes, the cause of half of your problems. I found a new variant of the Eikenella Corrodens bacterium. E. Corrodens produce the hypochlorite anion because it is an anerobic gram negative bacteria. The bacteria are normally found in the mouth, as is most GNBs. You have a superbug of E. Corrodens, Neisseria Pulmonarium. Eikenella Corrodens is the only known anerobic GNB in the Neisseriaceae family. This is especially odd, since Neisseriaceae are aerobic bacteria. This family of proteobacteria is responsible for the subtypes of Neisseria that cause meningitis and gonorrhea."_

"_Oh yeah, didn't you read from a science article that there's now a hyper gonorrhea in existence? I also overheard Linky say that gonorrhea is the strongest thing in existence. I wonder if Lori got hyper gonorrhea? She did have that project on STDs, and it's no secret she has Bobby lust…"_

"_Interesting proposal, but this discussion is about you."_

"_I don't have hyper gonorrhea! I'm six!"_

"_No, not that! I'm talking about the N. Pulmonarium on the outside of your body! Instead of the hypochlorite that E. Corrodens normally produces. This super variant produces carbonic dichloride or dichlorocarbene for the scientists out there! When it oxygenates with the air around it, the molecule forms into carbonyl dichloride, COCl2! This is the true name of phosgene, a lung dissolving gas which is known as the deadliest chemical weapon ever used in WW1!"_

"_What does this mean?"_

"_You kill anything alive that gets near you. Friend, foe, it doesn't matter. Even if you don't dissolve them with your anomalous acid, the phosgene the bacteria produce will kill anything that comes within 25 feet of you. And you can't kill off the bacteria, because even though the acid kills them, they come back as soon as the acid is turned off. The same thing happens if you bathe in fire. They are alive as long as you are, and I don't want to kill you to test this hypothesis. The caveat is that they devolve into E. Corrodens if they leave your body…that being said, E. Corrodens still produces hypochlorite, which has chlorite, which is an anion of chlorine, which can still dissolve inner linings like the esophageal tract, bronchioles, alveolar sacs etc."_

_Lola gets kind of depressed._

"_Sorry, third youngest sister, but you got one of the worst powers for teamwork."_

_Lisa leaves._

* * *

In the current time, Lola is still in the hazmat suit. Sometimes, she feels like she deserves this. She killed Lindsay Sweetwater and a semi-innocent police officer, albeit indirectly. Even though Lindsay was kind of a ruthless bitch, she still didn't deserve to have her lungs dissolved into mush and having an embolism formed from said dissolved lung tissue. And the officer, he had a wife and two sons! She just took away someone's dad! She couldn't imagine what would happen if she lost her dad. It was her fault Lincoln was ostracized during the March 13 incident. Even though Lynn had those damn superstitions about "bad luck", she just couldn't resist getting a rise out of her brother. She alienated her family, she caused it to get out of hand. Even though Lincoln spread the lie, it would have been more self-contained than SCP-055-EN, only Lynn (and maybe Leni) would have believed their own lies. She was the secondary and major catalyst in the incident. She caused him to get kicked out of his room and even their house! She started the lie that that nasty squirrel suit was good luck with Linky in it.

And now, Lola is the one ostracized for being a living biohazard. At least the government isn't experimenting on her, or using her as a living bioweapon. Call this delayed justice for Lincoln. Everyone feels bad for Lola, though. The only one who gets close to her is Lana, and it's at her own peril. She just needs some love.

Lola decides to call some acquaintances.

"Oh, if it isn't the 4th place winner of the Little Miss Southeastern Michigan pageant."

"If it isn't the first three places. How are you guys?"

"We're pretty good, Lola."

"Hey, have you guys ever noticed rainbow cracks in the sky?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Same here."

"Me too."

"Did you walk under them?"

"We all did, Lola."

"Oh no, what anomalies did you get?"

"Just watch!"

Chinah generates a white fireball from her palms.

"Woah, fire powers?" Lola says in awe

"Yeah, I can control how hot the flames are and I can set myself completely afire!"

"Wait, so does the fire burn up your clothes or…?"

"Nope! The clothes become fireproof!"

"Can you fly, too?"

"Well, I can propel myself by using the flames to maneuver around, kind of like a jetpack."

"Amazing, Human Torch!"

"Please, that's nothing. Watch this."

Claudette generates pink crystals from her palms.

"Pretty cool."

"I can also crystallize parts of my body and use them to attack and/or defend."

"Wait, didn't someone already make a story about this anomaly?"

"Oh, I know what you're talking about, Chains of Reality: Divinity Reborn, right? That story is pretty famous!"

"Yeah, wasn't that _**my**_ power?!"

"Those crystals have granite in them, the ones without granite…well. A brown-haired woman told me I destroyed an alternate universe by causing an NK class replicator scenario…whatever that means."

"Oh, that must mean your anomalous power is related to SCP-409-EN, Contagious Crystal. It is a quartz crystal that grows everywhere and infects everything that isn't granite. That would definitely cause such a scenario."

"Hey, which anomaly am I related to, Lola?" Chinah asks

"SCP-457-EN, Burning Man. It's kind of self-explanatory. The more it burns, the bigger and smarter it becomes. It can become big enough to split off, though the instances can argue with one another. Its weakness is water, as well as anything that can snuff out fires, duh."

"I'm not sure what power I got. Sophia told me destroyed two alternate universes by both ultrasound and infrasound weaponry. She told me that my anomaly increases by 3 decibels per day, and that when I accidently destroyed the alternate universes, the power was at 300 decibels. She also said I said "Krakatoa" before destroying the ultrasound dimension. I wonder why?"

"To reference SpongeBob? Well, Jackie, you got a pretty obscure power. According to SCP-101-FR, this anomaly is from SCP-498-EN, 11 Minute Snooze. It is an alarm clock that produces a 30-decibel alarm, but it increases by 4 decibels every 10 seconds the snooze button on the clock is not pressed. Anyone who hears it has increased alertness and will be unable to sleep (though microsleeps are possible) until the alarm is reset."

"Huh. But how do you reset it?"

"I don't know? Say "reset"?"

The girls think about these new revelations.

"So, Lola. Which anomaly did you get?" Claudette queries in a condescending tone

"SCP-106-EN, The Old Man. Highly corrosive, predatory and dangerous. Gets off on the pain and suffering of others. Damn near unkillable. One of the few Apollyon class entities."

"Apollyon class?" Jackie questions

"In the Locked Box test, Apollyon is a rare esoteric class that means there is no box to contain the object."

"What are ours?"

"409-EN is Keter, 457-EN is Euclid, 498-EN is Safe."

"And that means?"

"If an object is Safe, you can lock it in a box and nothing will happen. If an object is Euclid, it means that security on the box has to be upgraded, since the object is most likely sentient, and therefore, unpredictable. If an object is Keter, it means the object can easily escape from and/or destroy the box easily. Thaumiel is a rare esoteric class in which it _**is**_ the box. At least that's what Lisa told me."

"Ok, so how are you 106-EN?" Chinah responds

"I can produce an anomalous acid similar to perchloric acid which corrodes through anything and I can produce a bio-shield that kills anything within 25 feet of me. Since 106-EN can phase through matter, I assume I can too. Lisa doesn't want to test it because I might corrode the already thin walls of our house and might cause it to collapse. On the plus side, this acid is a great exfoliant, my skin has never looked better!"

"Huh, maybe I should do that."

"No don't! It's still an acid! It only works for me because I'm immune to acid! If anyone else pours acid on themselves, it will corrode through your skin, muscles and possibly even bones. Perchloric acid can corrode through steel, so it will probably go through. It could even corrode through the floor!"

"Oh."

"Sadly, unlike Chinah, my clothes aren't acidproof, and neither is my hair. At least I have to be awake to activate my acid power, because it would be terrible for me to accidently corrode through my bed, the carpet, and the earth itself."

"Yeah, that would be bad."

* * *

Meanwhile, in France…

An Anomalous Burst appears near the outskirts to Paris. Black goo begins dripping out of it, corroding the earth below it. It smells of a sickly rot like honey. A zombie like humanoid emerges. It lets out a predatory growl as it begins a decayed march toward the City of Lights. Around 30 minutes later, two more anomalies appear. It appears France will become the ground zero of the Eighth Occult War!

The rotting corpse breaches the 19th arrondissement! Some of the French populace begin panicking, although if you saw a rotting corpse walking through your city, spreading death and decay everywhere, you'd panic too!

"Mon Dieu!"

"Cadavre pourri!"

"Courir!"

The rot gets halfway through the arrondissement before being confronted by two superheroes? At least, the Parisians think they are superheroes. They look a little young, though…

"Arrêter, méchant!"

"Nous ne vous laisserons pas terroize les citoyens de Paris!"

The feral creature looks at them. Perfect prey. It staggers toward them.

"Chat, utiliser le cataclysme!"

"Votre plan est de percer à travers la pourriture? Excellente idée, ma dame."

The kid in the cat costume prepares an attack.

"Cataclysme!"

His arm is imbued with the power of destruction. He attempts to strike the humanoid, but he just grabs his arm.

"Hein? Il a arrêté mon attaque!?"

A sickly black rot corrodes the poor bastard's arm. The rot has necrotized his arm so much that it falls off, leaving both of them horrified! The kid backs off and evades his range.

Cet akuma est ridiculement fort! Cette personne doit être pleine de haine!

"Qu'est-ce qu'on fait, Coccinelle?"

"Porte-bonheur!"

She gets a floodlight. What is she going to do with this?

"Peut-être qu'il est faible à la lumière?"

She turns the light on, Stunning the predator and force it to sink in the ground.

"Avons-nous réussi?"

It comes back. It looks angry.

"Euh, non."

Normally, he'd pocket dimension these idiots, but he needs to get to the 1st arrondissement where all the prey is. He can just punch them to death. He attempts to leave. The two superheroes try to stop him.

The kid trying to be Spiderman tries to tie him up with her yo-yo, but his acid just burns through it. The rot steps on the yo-yo, breaking it. It's a good thing that wasn't the mystical Chinese artifact. Still, how could powerful Chinese artifacts containing the powers of both creation and destruction lose to a humanoid with acid armor? It has no time for these morsels. He has a buffet to get to! So, I guess he technically won against them?

Well, at least some of the Parisians are Containment Breach fans and know what that creature really is. They immediately notify the police, who notify the military, who notify President Emmanuel Macron, who had just survived a Yellow Vest attack trying to kill him for approving that EU gas tax because of muh climate change. Naturally, the idiot media also got involved.

"Nous venons d'apprendre qu'un terroriste solitaire tente de pénétrer dans le premier arrondissement! Il attaque en utilisant des pouvoirs de decomposition. Des témoins oculaires dans le ninteenth arrondissement ont dit à la police que le sujet est extrêmement hostile à la vie humaine et est extrêmement prédateur! Le président Macron a été informé de la situation par l'armée Français et nous attendons sa réponse à cette menace envers notre république. Témoins oculaires disent que la créa ture a aussi vaincu les célèbres super-héros Coccinelle et Chat Noir."

* * *

"There's a terrorist that uses acid to kill people? I don't think that's a terrorist…no. If what Lola told us is true. It's way worse."

Someone calls Lola.

"Claudette? What's up?"

"Remember how you said there was an SCP-106-EN that was super dangerous?"

"Yes…"

"Well, France is saying there is a terrorist using acid to kill people in France! It might be 106-EN?!"

"Did the police try shooting it? If it is immune to bullets, it might be SCP-106-EN. If it is, then France is kind of screwed."

"No way, France banned everything dangerous. No guns, no knives, no pointy pens, pencils and crayons."

"Agh, idiots! Well, its not like it matters since 106-EN is practically indestructible. I'll send the VEI article for 106-EN. We will see if humanity will survive."

Lola sends Claudette SCP-106-EN's information.

* * *

Objet #: SCP-106-EN

Classe: Apocalyptique

Niveau de Menace: Rouge

Propriétés Spéciales: Biohazard, Sachant, Prédateur, Violent, Espace-temps non-standard (dimension de poche)

Procédures de Confinement Spéciales:

RÉVISION 11-09

SCP-106-EN ne peut pas être contenu.

Description: SCP-106-EN semble être un humanoïde âgé, avec une apparence générale de décomposition avancée. Son apparence peut varier, mais l'effet de "pourriture" reste observé sous chaque forme. SCP-106-EN n'est pas exceptionnellement agile, et peut rester immobile pendant des jours, dans l'attente d'une proie. SCP-106-EN est également capable d'escalader n'importe quelle surface verticale et peut rester indéfiniment suspendu à l'envers. Lorsqu'il attaque, SCP-106-EN tente de neutraliser ses proies en endommageant les organes principaux, les muscles ou les tendons, puis il emmène sa proie handicapée dans sa "dimension de poche". SCP-106-EN semble préférer comme proies les hommes dans les 10-25 ans.

SCP-106-EN provoque un effet de "corrosion" sur toute la matière solide qu'il touche, engendrant une décomposition physique des matériaux plusieurs secondes après le contact. On peut observer la rouille, la pourriture et la fissuration des matériaux, ainsi que la création d'une sorte de mucus noir similaire à celui qui recouvre SCP-106-EN. Cet effet est particulièrement préjudiciable pour les tissus vivants, et est supposé être une action de "pré-digestion". La corrosion se poursuit pendant six heures après le contact, après quoi l'effet semble disparaître.

SCP-106-EN est capable de passer à travers la matière solide, laissant derrière lui une grande tache de son mucus corrosif. SCP-106-EN est capable de "disparaître" à l'intérieur de la matière solide, en entrant dans ce qui est supposé être une sorte de "dimension de poche". SCP-106-EN est alors en mesure de sortir de cette dimension à partir de n'importe quel point connecté au point d'entrée initial (exemples: "entrer" dans la paroi interne d'une pièce, et "sortir" de la paroi extérieure; "entrer" dans un mur, et "sortir" du plafond.) On ne sait pas si cette dimension est le lieu d'origine de SCP-106-EN, ou un simple "repaire" créé par SCP-106-EN.

Une observation limitée de cette "dimension de poche" a montré qu'elle doit être composée majoritairement de salles et les chambres, avec [SUPPRIMÉ] entrée. Cette activité peut se poursuivre pendant plusieurs "jours", avec une certaine chance d'être libéré dans le but d'être traqué, re-capturé, [SUPPRIMÉ].

Addendum:

Notes d'examen:

En raison de la nature très difficile à contenir de SCP-106-EN, les mesures de confinement doivent être révisées tous les trois mois ou après un incident. Les contraintes physiques sont impossibles, et les dommages physiques directs ne semblent avoir aucun effet sur SCP-106-EN. Les mesures appliquées actuellement, datant du ██ / ██ / ████, tournent autour de l'observation de base et de réponses immédiates à certaines situations. Les procédures de confinement spéciales précédentes ont été revues en raison des évènements des brèches ██, ███, ███, et ████.

Notes sur le "comportement":

SCP-106-EN semble passer par de longues périodes de "sommeil", pendant lesquelles il restera parfaitement immobile pendant un maximum de trois mois. La cause en est inconnue, mais il a été démontré que cela semble être utilisé comme un "leurre" tactique. SCP-106-EN sortira de cet état dans un état très agité, et va attaquer, enlever le personnel et causer des dommages violents à sa cellule de confinement et au site dans son ensemble. Le protocole de rappel [DONNÉES SUPPRIMÉES].

SCP-106-EN semble chasser et attaquer par plaisir et non par faim. SCP-106-EN va attaquer et recueillir ses proies multiples au cours d'une période de chasse, en gardant de nombreuses proies "vivantes" dans la dimension de poche durant de longues périodes. SCP-106-EN n'a pas de "limites" déterminables, et semble recueillir un nombre aléatoire de proies lors d'une période de chasse.

La dimension de poche semble être uniquement accessible par SCP-106-EN. Les appareils d'enregistrement et de transmission fonctionnent toujours à l'intérieur de cette dimension, bien que les enregistrements et les transmissions soient très dégradés. Il semble que SCP-106-EN "joue" avec les proies capturées, et qu'il ait le plein contrôle du temps, de l'espace et de la perception à l'intérieur de cette dimension. SCP-106-EN semble [DONNÉES SUPPRIMÉES].

Protocole de rappel ██ - ███ - █:

En cas de brèche de confinement de SCP-106-EN, un humain dans les 10-25 ans sera préparé pour le rappel, avec la cellule de confinement compromise remplacée et prête à l'emploi. Lorsque la cellule est prête, le sujet leurre doit être blessé, de préférence par la rupture d'un os long, comme le fémur, ou la rupture d'un tendon important, comme le tendon d'Achille. Le sujet leurre sera alors placé dans la cellule préparée, et le bruit émis par ledit sujet sera transmis via le système de sonorisation publique du site.

SCP-106-EN commence généralement à se diriger vers le sujet leurre dans les dix à quinze minutes après avoir entendu ses cris. Si SCP-106-EN ne réagit pas à l'émission initiale, un traumatisme physique supplémentaire doit être administré au sujet leurre toutes les vingt minutes jusqu'à ce que SCP-106-EN réponde. Plusieurs sujets leurres peuvent être utilisés dans le cas de ruptures de confinement majeures.

SCP-106-EN va généralement entrer dans un état de sommeil après en avoir terminé avec un sujet leurre. En outre, les sujets peuvent [DONNÉES SUPPRIMÉES].

* * *

"Nous venons d'avoir des images du visage du terroriste. Il semble porter un costume de fermier corrode."

Claudette looks at the grainy footage. If it looks like an old man and acts like an old man, then it must be an old man.

"Well, someone better tell these people what they're dealing with."

"This may cause a broken masquerade scenario."

"Better than them being dead!"

Claudette sends the info to one of the French media sites.

"Nous venons de recevoir des nouvelles de dernière heure d'une source anonyme! Selon le document, il semble que cette créa ture n'est pas un terroriste! Il dit que c'est "Le Vieil Homme", une entité de classe apocalypse qui a un niveau de menace rouge. Il est très prédateur, dangereux, violent et a une dimension de poche pour torture ses victimes dans! C'est la cent sixième anomalie répertoriée. C'est France 24 qui dit que nous sommes tous condamnés. Et maintenant revenir au discours du président Macron sur la façon dont nous sommes impuissants contre ce prédateur."

We see Emmanuel Macron give a speech. Nothing they can do to stop 106-EN, however.

"l'armée Français a constaté que le terroriste est à l'abri des balles, des lance-flammes, de l'acide et d'être battu à mort. Il est fonctionnellement indestructible. Mon conseil est de courir et j'espère qu'il ne vous verra pas. Les témoins oculaires disent que des lumières clignotantes sur son visage l'étourdit temporairement, mais il n'y a aucun moyen de le tuer."

Obviously, it wasn't long before France told the other countries about the indestructible predator. Mass panic ensued and a broken masquerade scenario happened. Unfortunately, the SCP Foundation technically doesn't exist in this universe, and the UN hasn't formed the GOC yet! There are no Ennui class amnestics to make everyone stupid again!

* * *

Luckily, or unluckily, Claudette is close to where 106-EN is. If she could just seal it within 409-EN, maybe then France can be saved! But 106-EN had defeated two famous superheroes! How can a girl around 6-years-old fight a violent predator such as The Old Man?! There's not really a way out of this…

Claudette steps outside of the hotel she was staying at and fires a quartz-granite stream the savage beast, getting its attention. She increases the frequency of the stream. It starts to form around SCP-106-EN. She doesn't forget to crystallize his feet, can't have him escape to his pocket dimension! The Old Man attempts to block the crystal stream, but Claudette produces more crystal stream than he can corrode! She adds more and more layers of crystal until she can see he's completely frozen in the quartz-granite crystal. All in all, there was 40 layers wrapped around him! The final layer being solid granite so SCP-409-EN won't grow anymore! SCP-106-EN, a being of pure acidic hatred, is now sealed tight within the 40-layer crystal.

She did it.

She actually did it.

She contained the uncontainable.

An entity which, although it will take an eternity, will cause an XK class end of the world scenario by slowly killing off humanity one by one.

Of course, some Parisian sticking their nose in other people's business saw the whole thing and begins screeching like a lunatic at the impossible happening.

Elle l'a fait! Elle contenait le vieil homme! On a été sauvés!

Soon, everyone swarmed Claudette, proclaiming her a heroine for stopping the implacable.

"Comment avez-vous fait?"

"Savez-vous ce que vous venez de faire?"

"Vous avez sauvé la France, probablement le monde!"

"Le président Macron veut vous rencontrer personnellement!"

Well, that must be a lie. If president Macron doesn't care about the average French citizen, why would he care about some random 6-year-old that just so happened to be there waiting for her new supply of French sequined dresses? Sure, she stopped SCP-106-EN, but now France is stuck with him! That statue is way too big to be sent through an Anomalous Burst! If someone breaks him out…

"Arrêter de m'entourer! Je viens d'arriver à être ici au mauvais moment! Je me défendais, donc je ne me fais pas torturer par l'acide!"

The crowd is quite surprised she would say this, such a humble heroine! Ordinarily, Claudette would brag about this to anyone who would listen, but now that people know about her crystal powers thanks to preserving SCP-106-EN, the masquerade isn't just broken, it has been shattered! The world knows anomalies exist! These aren't isolated incidents anymore! And there are no groups dealing with the anomalous in this universe! Nothing will ever be the same ever again!

Claudette leaves the crowd and heads back to her hotel.

* * *

"O5-2?"

"The Administrator would know that this would have happened eventually."

"Sophie?"

"O5-1, I'm calling it. That dimension has experienced a BK class broken masquerade/lifted veil scenario."

"What can we do?"

"Hope we can work with some of the anomalies to prevent further destruction to that dimension. It is all that can be done."

…

"We secure, we contain, we protect. We all will protect our world."

O5-1 is left stunned. Doctor Light almost never takes charge!

"Sub Administrator Seigel, begin authorization to expand Α9 anomalous conscription."

"I'll inform the committee."

"Excellent. I will begin project "Wings of Hope". Our world will survive, anomalous or otherwise."

O5-1 leaves. O5-2 sighs. She uses her anomalous power to teleport to the Wanderer's Library.

"Oh, it's you. We personally don't care for your organization imprisoning the anomalous, but you haven't made a mess of things here, unlike those terrorists. He's at the tree."

Sophia uses the mystical Wanderer's Library card to enter the main hall. This place, filled with all of the knowledge that has existed, currently exists and will exist all in one place! This place makes the Library of Alexandria look like a joke. Still, this place is the definition of "nonstandard spacetime", so even she, an O5, has to be escorted by those Dementor looking creatures, the Dosen.

"Some things are meant to be locked away, some things are meant to be free…"

The creature leads her to the depths of the Library, here, where the Tree of Knowledge lies. Thought to power the Library, it has been the source of all knowledge for all time. Destroying it may cause a LK Lethe/loss of knowledge scenario. She sees a lone male humanoid writing in a book of some kind. He notices her.

"Oh, Sophia? What's happened?"

"It was just like you said, Benjamin. O5-7 voted no."

"Ah, had a feeling she would. The committee is aware of Green's ambitions."

"Are you sure there's nothing that can be done?"

"Unless we utilize the power of Deus Ex Machinae, no. We can not alter the metanarrative. Doing so will cause catastrophic damage to the dimension and it might cause a causal shift which may make things even worse. All that can be done is to let the story write itself. It can't stray from its course. SCP-140-EN is a great example of this. Khahrahk is attempting to force the Daevites to conquer Earth in his stead, to destroy this place that he once tried to destroy but failed."

"So, it will fail?"

"Yes. In the case of 140-EN, it is a matter of when."

"Mr. Sisson, what about SCP-239-EN?"

"Sigurrós? The powers that be think that because of my experiment with a voice behind me, that I am an omniversal reality warper of immense power. They are right, since in this metanarrative, I have helped contain 80 different SCPs, 4 of them being 001s. I digress, they think that because I have such power and can control such power, that I can teach 239-EN to control hers. The narrative thinks of me as her god uncle of sorts."

"What will you do? It would put you at odds with Doctor Clef! He exists to kill Type Greens, such as 239-EN and you!"

"Sophia. I will fulfill my part in the story. If they want me to be a surrogate uncle to her, then I'm going to be the best damn surrogate uncle I can be to make sure the flow of the story doesn't get altered! You had to fulfill your role in that dimension by giving Calvin Lucien those SCP-006-EN vials and the Spear of the Nonbeliever, even if it meant you would have to die."

"A world where we don't exist. A world where humans and anomalies could coexist peacefully. That would be the ideal one."

"It would be, wouldn't it? Sadly, it's just a pipe dream."

Sophia looks dejected, Ben reminds her of one crucial thing.

"You remember our motto, right?"

"This is the way it ends."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at this story's dimension, the UN has been informed about SCP-106-EN's existence and capture from Emmanuel Macron. Thankfully, all the translators at the UN were working overtime so we can understand their bickering in English. They deserve a pay raise!

"What the hell were you doing out there, Macron!?"

"It's not my fault that thing is unkillable and uncontainable!"

"Clearly, we need something to combat the anomalous."

"I got it. An anomalous task force to search and destroy hostile entities to protect the human race!"

"We already tried that. Our peacekeepers are a joke. Even the French military could beat them."

"No, I mean a new task force!"

"Well, 106-EN was stopped by little girl. A citizen saw her shoot crystals to encase the violent predator in a statue."

"Kids are getting anomalous powers? What next?!"

"Ok, I propose that all beings with anomalous powers that are non-hostile to register in the new Paris Accords, so they can help us and we can help them, since we don't have anomalous weaponry to combat these threats yet."

"Oh please, Trump won't sign that! He backed out of the last one! He just wants to see the world burn!"

President Trump is the first one to ratify the accord, just to shut the delegate up.

"I don't know about you globalists, but I want to help preserve our world. Who's with me?"

"Ok, fine! But since you suggested it, you'll have to pay for it!" Says another Trump hating delegate

A bunch of delegates have signed the accords. Known countries that have signed it are the US, England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Portugal, Brazil, The Netherlands, Belgium, Russia, Ukraine, South Korea, Japan, China, France, Poland, Thailand, Italy, Mexico, Belize, Panama, Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Bolivia, Ecuador, Uruguay, Paraguay, Argentina, Chile, Columbia, Venezuela and Spain. Aside from the Core 37 (most of them got in due to that speaking Spanish privilege), Iceland and Denmark also have signed it. We are not sure about the statuses of the other 157 official countries, but they're sure most of them will sign it eventually.

"Since these anomalous people are everywhere around the world. Each country is responsible for finding their citizens with anomalies."

"Won't this backfire?"

"Do we have any other choice? We need to conscript these people to help save our world! At least until we can get weapons to combat the threats ourselves. You saw what happened with Macron and 106-EN today. It was immune to bullets, blunt force trauma, fire and acid!"

"For the future of our world. We must not fail."


	16. A Clearer Picture

Everyone is aware of what happened yesterday at the UN. After all, the France Fracas incident with SCP-106-EN made international news! Lisa had just finished watching the Paris Accords (the anomalous task force one, not the climate change one) and saw the Core 37 plus Iceland and Denmark sign it.

"It appears the masquerade is broken. This dimension doesn't have an SCP Foundation…so, it appears that the world cannot combat this new threat."

It sure was lucky that Claudette managed to encase 106-EN! But what if something even more dangerous comes through the Anomalous Bursts? What if SCP-682-EN comes through?! His anomalous ability is literal plot armor! Or any of the Lovecraftian entities that the Foundation knows about? What about spatial anomalies like SCP-1548-EN, The Hateful Star? What then?

Also, apparently any character and/or object from any narrative can use these gateways, as somehow, Ladybug and Cat Noir from the acclaimed hit French TV show, Miraculous Ladybug, tried to fight SCP-106-EN and failed. I think they thought 106-EN was an akuma or something. In the show, they are corrupted butterflies made by the villainous Hawk Moth and the pragmatic kwami, Nooroo. It is one of the ancient Chinese artifacts known as the Miraculous. Nooroo uses these butterflies to subjugate people and turn them to the side of his user. Good, evil, no, he just makes super-villainous puppets. I heard that the heroes escaped through an Anomalous Burst once the coast was clear.

"And so, President Trump has urged anyone with these anomalous to fight these new threats."

"The world simply does not have any way to combat the anomalous. Since there's nothing that can surprise us anymore, what if something like Cthulhu attacked us? We'd all be driven insane or dead. Not to worry, this draft will be completely separate from the US military draft, we are working to have specialists in training the anomalous. So, anomalous heroes, the world needs **YOU**!"

President Trump imitates that Uncle Sam WW2 poster and points his finger toward the camera, and by proxy, the people of America.

"Sign up for conscription today. Only by working together can we ensure the continued safety of our planet!"

Lisa scoffs at the absurdity of a Lovecraftian entity attacking Earth. Then again, the SCP Foundation has at least one confirmed Cthulhu entity "contained", so maybe Trump isn't crazy this time.

* * *

"Did you watch the news, babe?"

"The UN Paris Accords right? The anomalous task force?"

"No, the climate change accords. Yes, I'm talking about the new task force! Didn't you see that 34 countries are the "core members"?"

"Yes?"

"Did you notice that 19 of the 37 core members speak Spanish?"

"And your point?"

"Half of the members are Spanish! Do you know what this means?"

"No, what?"

"That there is a _Coalescencia Española_ making up 51% of the core members! These Spanish speaking countries can influence the members! This "Spanish Mafia" can strongarm the others! Kind of like how Adyslexia Ocasional Corteza is basically the leader of the Democrat Communist Party!"

"But Bobby, aren't you Mexican? Mexico is a member of the Spanish Club that you're so worried about."

"Yes, Lori. I'm Mexican. That doesn't change the fact that 19 countries hold 51% of the power."

"Well, Iceland and Denmark also signed, the others will join the accords soon enough."

"Yes, but Iceland and Denmark aren't core members, the _Coalescencia Española_ are. It's kind of like how the US, UK, Russia, China and France's votes matter more than the others during official UN business matters. The Spanish Mafia could leverage the fact that they make up half of the core members and use it to get more benefits from the accords! Can you imagine a Spain using anomalous weaponry to start another Reconquista to take back land from the Allahcolytes?"

"What is an Allahcolyte?"

"It's a super jihadist. A diehard follower of the Quran. Their goals are to jihad the entire world and subjugate it under Islam or die trying. They can't be reasoned with. They will instate Sharia law on every country they conquer and kill all of the infidels they come across."

"Oh…"

"The 9/11 hijackers would be considered Allahcolytes. Ironically, Allah detests murder and even considers suicide to be murder (unless they're infidels). These guys kill the infidels mostly by suicide bombing them, so I guess its off to Jahannam for them."

The lovers feel like the conversation should end here, and so it does.

Anyway, it's a slow day, but now it's Anomalous Burst time! After SCP-106-EN, what horrific anomaly would leak through this time…Something emerges but…only a paper comes out. Really? What a rip off.

* * *

Something appears to head toward the living room TV. Lana had dibs on the TV after Lisa saw the UN accord meeting. Naturally, she turned the channel on to the great unifier, SpongeBob SquarePants. The episode that was on right now was Frankendoodle, you know, the one with DoodleBob in it. The one with the Artist's pencil.

Something squirms in front of her and enters the TV. It looks the outline of a female silhouette. Maybe someone erased themselves with Doctor Wondertainment's Shadow Paint Play Set™. But…they didn't see anything by the wacky capitalist construct, and there's still no products by them that have leaked through yet. Lana follows the entity and enters the TV. Time stands still.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

The entity slinks back and enters a piece of paper.

"I could have sworn I saw something."

Lana approaches the stack of paper, ignoring the final battle between SpongeBob and DoodleBob frozen in time. She flips through the pages until she spots an illustration of a young woman. Is this an Easter egg from the writers? It is a beautiful drawing. I don't think people would notice if this one drawing was missing.

"Such a beautiful drawing. I should show this to Lily. It might teach her the finer points of art. Though, it is kind of odd that the writers would make a drawing of young woman in their kids cartoon. Oh, well."

Lana takes the drawing back to their reality. She sets it down on her dresser near a catalogue of cars. She could have sworn the drawing moved.

"Wow, an animate drawing. I should tell Lisa about this!"

Lana leaves and the drawing begins to move. It appears to transfer itself onto the manual.

"I swear I saw the drawing move!"

Lana and Lisa enter the room.

"What are you talking about, there's nothing here."

Lana looks at the piece of paper, nothing there.

"It escaped!"

"Lana, there was nothing ever there."

Lana glances at the car catalogue and sees the outline looking at a picture of one of the cars.

"See, that drawing wasn't there before."

* * *

"Hmm…a drawing anomaly? I think I have it. That must be a work of art created by SCP-067-EN, The Artist's Pen."

Lisa shows the VEI article, complete with SCP-067-EN's picture.

Objet #: SCP-067-EN

Classe: Contenues

Niveau de Menace: Bleu

Propriétés Spéciales: Angizohazard

Procédures de Confinement Spéciales: Quand il n'est pas utilisé où le sujet à études, SCP-067-EN doit être rangé dans sa boîte en bois doublée de feutre. La plume doit être couverte et tous les dessins et écritures produits doivent être confiés à l'équipe de recherche en charge de l'objet pour analyse et expériences complémentaires.

Description: SCP-067-EN est un stylo plume de la marque allemande Pelikan confectionné dans la période entre la Première et Seconde Guerre Mondiale. Il est vert pâle et comporte un ligne rouge sur un des côtés. La coque est composée de chêne et la plume est extrêmement pointue, de sorte qu'elle est capable de percer la peau humaine d'une légère pression. Malgré l'absence d'un réservoir d'encre, la plume ne semble jamais manquer d'encre fraîche. De plus, le stylo écrit avec de l'encre Iron Gall qui convient parfaitement aux artistes mais se révèle rapidement corrosif pour un stylo plume classique.

L'équipe de recherche a supposé que tout sujet se saisissant de SCP-067-EN perd toute autonomie de la main et du bras tenant l'objet. Les sensations sont intactes mais la portion du bras en dessous du coude est contrôlée par une force inconnue, supposée être centralisée depuis l'intérieur de SCP-067-EN. Un des effets est que la main ''contrôlée'' commencera à rédiger une biographie détaillée de l'individu qui tient le stylo. La biographie comportera des informations comme le nom, l'âge, la date de naissance, le casier judiciaire, les peurs, etc. D'autres fois, le stylo rédigera des événements survenus dans la vie du sujet. Par exemple, quand le sujet 1204M saisit SCP-067-EN, il coucha sur papier de manière détaillée un accident de moto qu'il avait subi un an auparavant. Plus tard, le sujet précisa qu'il ignorait jusqu'à présent beaucoup de détails présents dans le document (le sujet avait oublié de nombreux éléments comme le numéro de plaque d'immatriculation de son ancien véhicule, la couleur de l'autre voiture, etc.). Le sujet indiqua que le souvenir de l'événement eut été si frais dans son esprit pendant sa retranscription qu'il avait ''pu sentir le goût du sang dans sa bouche''.

Des sujets tenant SCP-067-EN ont aussi créé des œuvres artistiques complexes, malgré l'absence de toute formation artistique et d'attrait à ce domaine. Par exemple, le sujet 1102F, une jeune femme sans expérience artistique fut capable de dessiner une créature ailée ressemblant à SCP-███, décrite par les chercheurs présent de [DONNÉES SUPPRIMÉES]. Quand les sujets sont interrogés à propos de l'expérience, la réponse classique fournie est qu'ils ont ressenti de leurs membres un abandon de leur contrôle en faveur de SCP-067-EN (voir Retranscription de Réponse 01). Même lorsqu'il leurs a été demandé de résister aux effets de SCP-067-EN, les sujets ont décrit des sentiments d'empathie, admiration et coopération envers SCP-067-EN qui les ont poussé à adhérer à une volonté qu'ils ne maîtrisaient pas.

Retranscription de Réponse 01: "Je ne sais pas comment l'expliquer, c'est juste arrivé. Quand j'ai saisi le stylo, c'était comme si ma main n'était plus vraiment la mienne. Je savais que je pouvais l'utiliser si je voulais mais j'ai choisi de ne rien faire parce que j'aimais le dessin que je dessinais. C'était comme si ma main était vivante. D'un coup, ma main s'est arrêtée et j'ai réalisé que j'avais à nouveau le contrôle total de ma main, et j'ai posé le stylo. J'ai regardé le dessin et me suis aperçu à quel point il était beau. J'imagine que c'est le stylo qui a décidé que c'était fini et qu'il n'avait plus besoin de moi.''

Tests et Expériences

Le ██/██/20██, un test a été effectué pour comprendre comment le stylo affecte les autres créatures vivantes.

Expérience 001:

Le sujet, un macaque rhésus mâle de 2 ans 4 mois qui a appris au préalable à utiliser des stylos et feutres, est placé dans une salle de surveillance psychologique standard (couleur des murs neutres ; vitre sans teint d'observation unilatérale), avec SCP-067-EN, une table de travail et un bloc note.

Le sujet prend SCP-067-EN avec son pied gauche puis sa main droite et le goûte. Le sujet repose le stylo sur le papier et le renifle. Après 30 secondes, le sujet prend SCP-067-EN à nouveau et commence à le taper de manière répétitive sur la table. Le sujet commence ensuite à le cogner sur son propre corps. Le sujet frappe SCP-067-EN avec plus de force jusqu'à ce que l'encre gicle sur sa fourrure. Le sujet jette alors SCP-067-EN sur le sol (des analyses postérieures indiquent qu'aucun dommage n'a été subit).

À ce moment, le sujet déchire une feuille du bloc note et commence à la frotter sur l'encre de son pelage. Cela continue pendant 3 minutes, après lesquelles le sujet accroche la feuille sur ses dents et bondit depuis la table jusqu'à la vitre d'observation (avec une force telle que la table est renversée). Le sujet entreprend de souiller la vitre d'observation avec l'encre présente sur le papier en poussant des cris; des analyses postérieures indiquent que 50% des cris sont typiques des cris de détresse notés à son espèce et 50% sont d'origine inconnue.

Après 6 minutes à étaler l'encre sur la vitre, le sujet commence à déchirer la feuille à l'aide de ses dents et de ses griffes mais l'a fait tomber avant d'avoir pu détruire plus de 20% du document. Le sujet tombe au sol, la respiration erratique tout en poursuivant les cris d'origine inconnue.

Le maître du sujet rapporte, qu'une fois sorti de la salle de surveillance psychologique, la condition du sujet s'est améliorée rapidement. Le sujet a été observé pendant les deux mois suivant l'expérience mais aucun cri atypique n'a été enregistré de nouveau.

La feuille de papier a été [DONNÉES SUPPRIMÉES].

* * *

"Mom…"

"Did you hear something?!"

"It sounded like the word "mom"."

"Did you say that?"

"Doubtful, I prefer maternal unit."

"Are you sure you're not a robot?"

"Yes, I am clearly a cyborg."

Lana and Lisa are wondering who said that. Lisa continues scrolling through the articles. She stops on SCP-914-EN, The Clockworks, the most interesting useful SCP! Even all the normies who played Containment Breach regard this one as their lord and savior.

"Dad…"

"Now the voice is saying "dad". Is someone playing a prank on us?"

The drawing moves back onto the paper and starts talking.

"Hey, over here!"

Lana and Lisa look at the drawing.

"Yes, I'm talking to you."

"A drawing that can talk?! What's next, Cthulhu?!"

"Well, SCP-2662-EN isn't Cthulhu…yet, anyways." Lisa admits

"Hup mgepogg ot Mar'iana's mgep, Cthulhu ng h' ron's mgehye'lloig ahthrodog. Hup sa'nit'y's mgehye'lloig ah'mglw'nafh, yog nog u'nblin'king nwngluii, nilgh'riyar nnn." Lucy comments

"I didn't know you spoke Great Old One."

"I try."

"Anyways, I know for a fact that drawings can't talk!" Lisa proclaims

"What are you talking about? You're talking right now!"

* * *

Lisa is left stunned. The drawing explains further.

"Don't you get it? We're all in a narrative! Why do you think the "cosmic entities" that Lincoln can talk to keep viewing you guys? They are the audience and you are their entertainment. Humans might actually be worse than Cthulhu. They might not influence you directly, but they can make the powers that be cancel you. Lord knows they've been trying to cancel Teen Titans Go for the past 7 years."

Lana is starstruck.

"Yeah, I had the same reaction when I saw my own document."

So, which anomaly are you?

"85."

"Ok, but there are 12 branches? Which one are you from? China? Japan? Russia?"

"English?"

"SCP-085-EN…Hand-drawn "Cassy.""

"I have a feeling I've heard of that one before…"

"Cassy is the byproduct of an experiment between The Artist's Pen and The Clockworks. She has breached containment once before, but the O5 council voted to not terminate her. She can change art styles depending on she transfers to. She can animate others by interacting with them but as soon as she stops interacting with them, they revert back to stasis. Subject has an affinity for classic cars and chocolate banana milkshakes. Cross testing with SCP-914-EN is [DATA EXPUNGED]."

"Sounds terrible. But this anomaly seems harmless, why would the Foundation keep her in containment?"

"Didn't you listen, Lana? It is the byproduct of SCP-067-EN and SCP-914-EN, both of which are anomalous by themselves!"

"Hmm…maybe I can…"

Cassandra tries to change to a new art style, and in a scene that totally doesn't mirror a magical girl transformation, she turns into a comic book style of herself. In this form, she is depicted as a blonde-haired woman, about 24-years-old, wearing a yellow dress and sandals.

"Cassy, did you just…?"

"I thought about what I said to you and I thought, well, since you guys live a comic book, maybe I could change styles and appear "human" in this world. I think it worked."

"I think it worked…maybe a little too well. What if our parental units see her? They never saw you enter our house, so they might think you're a burglar or something."

"Dang it, you're right."

Because The Loud House is an animated comedy, of course the parents walk in.

* * *

"Lincoln, Lana. Can you check on Lola?"

They notice the young adult near their kids.

"Anomaly?"

"What anomaly?"

"Lisa, you can drop the act. We can see the crack in the fabric of time in space behind you."

The Anomalous Burst promptly seals itself.

"We all have heard President Trump talk about this UN anomalous task force. So, nothing phases us anymore."

"Ok, fine. This is SCP-085-EN. Her name is Cassandra. Her anomaly is to transfer into different art mediums."

"Huh, doesn't Lana have that anomaly, too?"

"We saw your research, Lisa. You didn't think we would find out?"

"Uh, maybe I should go…"

She leaves.

"Should someone go after her?" Lisa asks

"Nah, she's one of us now. I'm sure she's fine." Lana counters

Well, I guess Cassy is now a guest character on The Loud House. But now that everyone knows about the anomalous, how long until another super dangerous one comes out?!

* * *

**Author's Note: SCP-1548-EN's official codename is The Star, the Hateful, but this is the only time its unofficial name, The Hateful Star, will be used, mostly because its easier to remember than its admittedly cooler official designation.**

**There are 5 types of sensory hazards. SCP-067-EN is an angizohazard, which affects a subject's if they _touch _it. The vlepohazard have been renamed as photopic hazards, since the latter sounds cooler. The only sensory hazard type not mentioned is the myrodiahazard, which is affected by _smell_.**


	17. Hidden Dangers

Even with the looming threat of the anomalous taking over and/or destroying their dimension, people still have to attend school. What's the point of even going to school if Occasional Cortex said the world was going to end in four years due to "climate change"? Still, Lincoln and his gang talk about the goings on in the world.

"So, I'm sure we all heard President Trump's broadcast about the 106-EN incident in France."

"Yeah, we heard."

"I was wondering what anomalies you got, if any?"

"Well, Linc. I already told the gang about our encounters on the farm."

"Oh yeah. So, did anyone touch the horsey?"

"No, it's been in a stable since we encountered it. It doesn't even need to eat or sleep!"

"Why did that just sound so wrong?" Rusty comments

"SCP-805-EN broke through an Anomalous Burst. Its anomaly turns you into an immotile tree statue if it touches you or you touch it. It just wants head pats."

"I think that all horses deserve head pats. Yes, even if it will kill you. SAD! #JusticeFor805"

"Wow, nice Trump impression, Zach. You might be hired as a Serpent's Hand member with that attitude."

"What's a Serpent's Hand? It sounds pretty cool!"

"They are a group of anomalous rights activists based in a place known as the Wanderer's Library. TL; DR, they are basically PETA but even better since they don't kill and/or destroy the anomalies they liberate."

"Oh, so I'm not getting a serpent hand? Lame."

"Yeah, so did any of you get anomalous powers, or was it just Liam?"

"Well, my brother stepped on a Lego. It hurt, but when I touched his foot to see if the Lego broke his skin, he said his foot hurt more than stepping on 1000 Legos at once."

"Ouch! Stepping on a Lego is the most painful thing imaginable…except maybe getting Trigeminal Neuralgia."

"What's that?"

"Lisa said it's a chronic pain disorder that makes the trigeminal nerves in your face fire off constantly. It's basically suffering never ending agony for the rest of your life, since there is no cure. It is pretty rare, though."

"What about you Clyde? Did you get anything?"

"No, my dads have pretty much prevented me from leaving the house once news of the anomalous broke out."

"Understandable. I didn't get any powers when exposed to an Anomalous Burst, so it doesn't give everyone anomalous powers…"

"Well, I didn't get any powers."

* * *

Stella and Girl Jordan approach the five-boy band.

"Hey guys, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, hey Stella and Girl Jordan, we're talking about the anomalous. Didn't you hear about the incident in France?"

"Oh yeah! President Macron gave the most pathetic speech, thinking it would be the end of days for both France and the entire world. To be fair, it would have been had that corrosive entity not been crystalized."

"The only problem is that the statue is too big to fit in an Anomalous Burst and because of its natural corrosion anomaly, he could break out. He's got to break though 40 layers of crystal and a layer of granite. We aren't sure if SCP-106-EN can use corrosion if he's immobilized."

"What about you ladies? Did you get any anomalous powers?"

"No, we didn't."

"It's probably better that you didn't. Lola got powers similar to SCP-106-EN, but with an added bio-shield that kills anything living within 25 feet of her. She's actually gotten super depressed about it."

"Sorry to hear that, Lincoln. If you need anything, I can help you out."

"Girl Jordan, SCPs are breaching into our dimension. _**No one **_can help us out with something of this magnitude. It's why Trump and leaders of 39 other countries signed the Paris Accords conscripting people with anomalous powers, because they don't have any cool weapons effective against them!"

"I know. I just want to help you guys out."

"Well, I guess you can visit. Just stay away from Lola. She always wears a hazmat suit because of her anomaly, but Lisa said she can produce an anomalous acid similar to perchloric acid (voluntarily) and phosgene (involuntarily), so she's highly dangerous."

"Sounds like something you haven't already dealt with before, hasn't Lola always been acidic?"

"Yeah, but never like this."

"Well this was a nice way to catch up."

The group disbands. Just as Lincoln is about to leave, Girl Jordan stops him.

"Hey, Linc. You got a second?"

"Sure, what's up, Girl Jordan?

"I think Mollie has fallen in with a bad crowd. She's been talking about some weird things ever since the anomalous stuff has been happening."

"_You still have that video, huh? Well, hold that until you can find a reason to blackmail someone related to her, Psilocybin."_

"_Yeah. Did you see that insane party, Molly?"_

"_It was insane! My friends saw it all go down online. I can't believe Frankie Grande gave those Louds a private party with around 5000 attendees, 7 celebrities and an octet of songs!"_

"_That wasn't Frankie Grande, dudette."_

"_Could have fooled me, he did say he was the gayest man alive. And did you see the pompousness and grandiosity of his performance in Henry Danger: The Musical? He is the gayest man alive in both the happy way and in the homosexual way."_

"_The opioid group is trying to synthesize their own version of compound [EXPUNGED]."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because, Molly. Cannabis, AKA Papa Smoke, AKA number 99, wants to see the Louds act like complete degenerates for our amusement. We've seen all their hijinks on Fanfiction dot net, DeviantArt, the boorus like our based hacker 4chan. You get the point. With a synthesized version of compound [EXPUNGED] we will see just how crazy these Louds can be."_

"_We're still going to see the Area 51 Massacre on September 20, right?"_

"_Of course, we won't miss the sheer meme potential of idiots trying to raid a military base Naruto running while being shot with 3000 rounds per minute assault rifles. It's going to be hilarious!"_

"_Operation Westermarck will take place afterwards."_

_The call ends. _

"I see what you mean. We'll keep an eye on her and this Papa Smoke character."

"Be safe, Lincoln."

"You too, Girl Jordan."

* * *

The school day progresses as normal. Nothing of interesting happened at school, despite constant paranoia of an XK class end of the world scenario happening at any moment. Lincoln begins to head back home when he sees a strange person accosting Dana.

"Come on cutie, don't even try to resist."

"Drop dead."

"Don't be like that."

The man pauses for a second.

"Alright, good cop is over."

He pulls out a .44 magnum.

"Obey me or die!"

He notices Lincoln just staring at the situation. He aims the magnum at him.

"Kid, you died from fibromatosis before. Now feel the pain of your entire brain experiencing a hemorrhage! Sorry, but you've seen too much!"

Dana knees the attacker in the balls, causing him to double over in pain. He drops the magnum. She kicks it away from him and near the feet of…

Mariska Hargitay?!

Oh great! The Anomalous Bursts are bringing in live action characters now? But wait, wouldn't that mean there are two Mariska's now? The real life one and the one that plays Olivia Benson on Law and Order: SVU? If the two Mariska's meet, wouldn't that cause an XK class end of the world scenario since Mariska can't be in two places at once and the two instances of Mariska should never meet because it would destroy reality?

There's only one way to tell which Mariska this is.

"Mariska!"

She responds to Lincoln calling her name. I guess that means this is the real Mariska. But now the bigger question is, what is she doing in Michigan?

Suddenly, a swarm of police arrest the attacker, who's still holding his balls in pain.

"Fuck! I think you're going to need to cut it off!"

"Sure, phantom limb pain is a thing. Just as soon as we arrest you for aggravated assault, attempted murder and attempted rape."

The cops take him away, leaving both Dana and Lincoln confused on what just happened.

"I was visiting the area when I saw you get attacked. I called the cops immediately."

"Wait, aren't you a police sergeant?"

"No, but I play one on TV."

And just as mysteriously as she appeared, Mariska disappears down a street corner.

"That was weird."

"Lincoln, that lunatic said he was part of something called a Group of Interest. He said he was Fentanyl of "the Fanbase". He never said what they do, but I think these guys might be dangerous!"

"It sure was lucky Mariska was here."

"Yeah. I think my anomaly is to cause pain that lasts forever."

"Did you walk under one of those Anomalous Bursts?"

"Yes, but I didn't think I would get a power."

"Well, I should probably get home."

* * *

Lincoln makes it back home. But there's another Anomalous Burst. This one over the skies of the Chappaqua Woods in New York. It drops a pale figure, emaciated and 8 feet tall, its hands coated in blood with freakishly long arms, it hides in the depths of the woods until some idiot stumbled upon it. The burst seals up behind it.

"Hey guys, we are here in the Chappaqua Woods looking for Hillary Rodham Clinton. She was spotted in this area after losing the 2016 election to Trump and a bunch of white people on Facebook have found her. Let's see if we can get that lucky."

The person enters the depths of the woods and sees a pale figure pacing back and forth.

"Hillary, is that you? I want to know your opinion on losing to Donald Trump."

The idiot looks at its face, it begins autistically screaming.

"That devastating, huh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. On the plus side, you're looking way better than you did in 2016!"

I mean, he's not wrong. This emaciated gangly creature is still better looking than Hillary Clinton.

The creature begins running toward the idiot, who should have won a Darwin Award a long time ago, at a relativistic speed. It only had to take one step before…

[DATA EXPUNGED]


	18. Broken Frame Of Mind

The next Anomalous Burst opens up and sets down a strange entity. The entity escapes and the Burst seals up behind them. They have no idea where they are, who they are or what they are. They decide to knock on the door of the first house they come across and surprise surprise, of course it just so happens to be 1216 Franklin Avenue. Lincoln gently opens the door.

"Sorry to bother you, do you know where we are?"

Lincoln gently closes the door, clearly weirded out by the anomalous being. Sure, he can handle badass Sumerian men that can generate 10,000 obsidian blades and is nigh indestructible and maybe a katana that makes you act like a goddamn filthy disgusting weeaboo. Heck, he can even accept a plane that anomalously turns into a Freddie Mercury rock concert. His personal favorite would have to be the pencil that critiques your drawing and yells at you in Russian for drawing lewds.

"Hey Stinkoln, who was that?"

"Mark Edward Fischbach's worst nightmare."

"Who? I don't know what nerd your talking about."

"Someone left a talking mannequin on our doorstep."

"Wait, a "talking" mannequin? Aren't those things just statues?"

"So is SCP-173-EN, and it kills people every day."

Lynn Jr opens the door back up and sees a blonde doll like entity staring back at her.

"Do you know where we are?"

"Royal Woods, Michigan; Now go away. As you can see here, this place is kind of full with all 13 of us."

The statue blinks at this.

"Anyways, can you let me in, it's kind of cold outside?"

"But you are a doll. How can dolls feel anything, they're immovable objects?"

Lincoln interjects.

"Well, SCP-173-EN can feel pure hatred…I think. It's kind of hard to tell, since it kills you as soon as you blink."

The two ignore him.

"Sure, and you're an unstoppable force. But if we collide, you'll win."

"At least you admit it."

Against her better judgement, Lynn invites the strange being in. It doesn't have any weapons alongside it and besides, Lynn could easily destroy her if she causes trouble.

* * *

"So, where are you from?"

"I don't really remember the town or city, but I remember it was somewhere in Texas."

"Dang, that far away? You practically walked cross country!"

Wait, this entity is From Texas? The Lone Star State Texas? The same Texas that fake Mexican Beto O' Rourke let all the Mexicans, Guatemalans, El Salvadorians and Hondurans in? Heck, because of him and his idiot party, Guatemala is literally empty! All the Guatemalans came here! Anyways, that's not important. Texas was mentioned and so, the inevitable memes must spring forth. Without really thinking, Lincoln immediately says one.

"The stars at night are dull and dim, whenever they have to be over dumb ol' stupid Texas!"

The entity doesn't really react to it, but Lynn gives him a dirty glower.

"Oh, SpongeBob. That's an old show. Is it still going on?"

"Yeah, my sister Lana loves watching it. It's on its 11th season right now."

Parts of its skin begin shedding as it begins scratching it.

"Paint flakes? Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, just itchy."

"Err, ok. Is there anything that can help fix that?"

"Umm, I think there's a special type of clay that can repair me. I think it was called Kshaolyn? I'm not sure, I don't really pay attention to what those scientists give me."

* * *

Leni comes down and sees the trio.

"Wow, Lynn. I didn't know you ordered a mannequin. That must mean you're secretly just as into fashion as I am! Or you're going to a Markiplier convention, I don't know…but if it's the latter I'd totes be happy to share my fashion tips with you!"

Lynn is exasperated at Leni…well, being Leni. This anomaly was left on their doorstep, and none of them want a Nibbles situation where she just bums free room and board off of them. This is a house, not a prison. Although, from the looks of it, Lisa might have to convert this place into an unofficial Foundation Site with all of these anomalous people gathering here.

"No, Leni. I think something's wrong with this entity."

Leni gazes into its eyes.

"Well? Anything?"

"Yes. I can see it in her eyes. Wubba lubba dub dub."

"Leni, I didn't know you speak degenerate. I mean, Lucy can speak Great Old One, but even that has more of a utility than _**that**_."

"Look, she's suicidal. Her eyes say, I am in great pain, please don't help me."

Suddenly, the gravity of the situation hits the Louds. They've never had to deal with a suicidal SCP. Although, one less SCP would ordinarily be a good thing, this anomaly is only dangerous to herself.

"Aww man, I don't want to take responsibility if she gets Epstined."

"Wait, what?"

"I don't want to be the one on her 24-hour suicide watch. If I leave and she shatters herself, I don't want to be held liable."

"Well, since this mannequin is clearly obsessed with beauty, can we store her with Lola?"

"No, Lola already has enough stuff there. Since you let her in, Lynn. She's your responsibility."

"What, no way!"

Everyone else goes back to what they were doing before the anomaly came in. Lynn is forced to babysit this anomaly.

"Sigh. This is so unfair."

The anomaly follows Lynn to her room.

"So, what's your name?"

"I don't remember, it's been so long since I've heard it. The Foundation calls us by number."

The Foundation? Is that where all of these anomalies are leaking from? Since this entity is suicidal, maybe a song of healing would work on her. That song that Luna sung to Sam should work. It is a multipurpose song, Lynn thinks. She tries to sing the song.

* * *

_For now, you can stay  
Right here we will play  
Until somehow you can find  
A slightly different frame of mind_

_Right here in my arms  
Away from all harm  
You'll be safe from all the flares  
Although I know you don't care_

_Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh..._

_You can lift your head up to the sky  
Take a deeper breath and give it time  
You can walk the path among the lines  
With your shattered frame of mind  
Withstand, you could always stay  
We can wait right here and play  
Until somehow you can find  
A slightly better frame of mind_

_Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh..._

* * *

"You can stop singing that song, Lynn." The entity interrupts

"Huh? Why?"

"You think you can just sing some song and that I'll forget my past traumas?"

"No. But it might make you feel better."

"Time doesn't heal all wounds, despite what gramma would say. I'm sure some of the cosmic entities watching us have heard of some new game called Heartbeat Literature Club? Well, there's a mod to the game called Exit Music and there's no happy ending there. Just like how there's no happy ending for me. It's coded in my backstory. That's just how the Foundation works."

"SCP-2295-EN was a lie?" Lynn says halfheartedly

"SCP-2295-EN can't heal a shattered frame of mind, Lynn. It can't cure a hemorrhage of emotional turmoil like I have."

Now Lynn is the one getting depressed.

"Maybe you're right. I need to check on something."

Lynn leaves and enters Lisa's room.

"Hey Lisa, can you check for a mannequin like SCP in Vous Etes Ici?"

"Sure, dense sister."

Lynn is too entrenched in thought about that entity to chastise Lisa for calling her an idiot.

Hmm…it looks like the anomaly today is SCP-706-EN, Perfect Porcelain Doll. I'll try to pull up information about her.

* * *

Objet #: SCP-706-EN

Classe: Euclide

Niveau de Menace: Vert

Propriétés Spéciales: Régénérative

Procédures de Confinement Spéciales: SCP-706-EN doit être confiné au Site de Confinement des Humanoïdes-06-3, dans une cellule de confinement pour humanoïde dont les parois ont été capitonnées et comportant le moins d'angles saillants possible. SCP-706-EN doit se voir fournir 1,2 kg de kaolin et du vernis pour céramique en plus de son régime alimentaire classique.

SCP-706-EN est actuellement surveillé étroitement en raison d'un risque de suicide et doit rester attaché en permanence, excepté lors des tests. SCP-706-EN doit participer quotidiennement à des séances de thérapie jusqu'à nouvel ordre.

Description: SCP-706-EN est une adolescente caucasienne connue comme étant ███████ ████████, âgée de douze ans, d'après les archives locales, au moment de son confinement. Les archives indiquent également que SCP-706-EN a suivi des cours à domicile toute sa vie et que les voisins ne la voyaient que très rarement à l'extérieur.

SCP-706-EN est physiologiquement normal, à l'exception d'une température corporelle au repos anormalement élevée, d'approximativement 38,5 °C, et d'un épiderme entièrement composé de porcelaine, excepté de petites zones autour de ses articulations. Cette couche est extrêmement fragile en raison de sa finesse et peut se fêler ou se casser sitôt soumise à des chocs ou même à des mouvements brusques, action décrite comme étant extrêmement douloureuse pour le sujet. SCP-706-EN est capable de régénérer cette couche de peau à la même vitesse qu'une peau normale se reconstitue s'il lui est fourni les matières premières nécessaires. Les produits semi-finis tels que le kaolin sont possibles et préférables ; SCP-706-EN n'a aucune résistance particulière aux dommages corporels que peut causer l'ingestion de porcelaine solide.

À moins de s'en voir interdit, SCP-706-EN va s'occuper de son apparence de manière compulsive, ce qui implique notamment de se regarder dans un miroir et d'utiliser tout maquillage ou peinture disponible pour ajuster, améliorer ou embellir son apparence. SCP-706-EN sera contrarié et peu coopératif s'il vient à manquer des fournitures nécessaires au maintien de son apparence et à la vérification du maintien de celle-ci.

[DONNÉES EXPURGÉES]

"That's odd. I don't know why the rest of the document is redacted. Maybe I should ask Sophia about this…"

"I guess this will help. Thanks, Lisa."

Lynn leaves to deal with her new burden.


	19. Island Hopping

No time for explanations, the next anomalies come pouring in! A sudden broadcast airs and a certain clown is the one pulling the strings.

"Hey, kids. I know that you've missed my show. But know that Bobble loves you all. Instead of another episode of my great show, how's about we play a game? I have with me 20 instances of…something dangerous. If you can terminate all 20 of them before…hmm, let's say 5000 children die in total, then you win! If not, you lose! It's just that simple! Just remember that everything burns! Ha ha ha ha!"

The transmission ends. Anomalous Bursts begin opening and closing rapidly, dropping 20 entities in random countries all over the world! This is an international problem and the UN anomalous task force hasn't even gotten of the ground yet! How could they even begin to participate in this deadly game?!

"Did he say children?" Lisa questions

"Forget the child killers, what about that clown? That's the real terror here!"

"The UN has to have known about this game. That broadcast was international!"

The Louds begin panicking, as does the rest of the world. There are 20 instances of these things preying on children, and we don't have enough Chris Hansens to tell them to take a seat over there, not that the anomalous could even comprehend this. While the Louds were running like chickens with their heads cut off, Cassandra returns, with a pinata and candy.

"Ooh, candy! Gimme!" Lola insists

"Don't eat that candy! This is what that clown was talking about! This isn't any ordinary piñata, this is SCP-956-EN, The Child Breaker. Lisa, bring up the VEI article on 956-EN."

Objet #: SCP-956-EN

Classe: Euclide

Niveau de Menace: Orange

Propriétés Spéciales: Sachant, Violent, Gefsiohazard (les confiseries)

Procédures de Confinement Spéciales: SCP-956-EN doit être conservé au centre d'une pièce en béton de 18 X 18 X 4 mètres en toutes circonstances. La porte doit rester fermée, avec un garde armé posté à l'entrée pour empêcher tout accès non autorisé. L'accès à la pièce aux membres du personnel de recherche n'est autorisée que lorsque SCP-956-EN est dans une phase passive. La possibilité d'amener un sujet dans la pièce doit avoir été approuvée par les O5 afin de diminuer les formations de SCP-956-1-EN ainsi que [DONNÉES SUPPRIMÉES]. À moins que ce ne soit pour procéder aux expériences, aucun individu remplissant les conditions d'activation de SCP-596 ne doit être amené à moins de 200 mètres de la zone de confinement de SCP-956-EN. Une surveillance doit être maintenue en toutes circonstances par le biais de caméras de sécurité.

██ instances de SCP-956-1-EN sont gardées dans une pièce voisine, et doivent être conservées à une température de -4 degrés Celsius pour éviter qu'elles ne fondent ou qu'elles ne soient détruites. Tout emploi de SCP-956-1-EN doit être autorisé par au moins un O5, et doit être effectué dans une pièce identique à la zone de confinement de SCP-956-EN. Tout SCP-956-1-EN supplémentaire créé par les expériences sur SCP-956-EN doivent être incinérés, sauf autorisation d'un membre du personnel de Niveau de Sécurité 4 ou plus, ainsi que toute nouvelle instance de SCP-956-EN.

Description: SCP-956-EN semble être une piñata classique, ressemblant à un quadrupède d'espèce inconnue. Les tests ont révélé que, bien que semblant apparemment être fait en papier-mâché, SCP-956-EN est constitué d'une dose variable de colle, █████, de sucre, de fourrure non identifiée et de tissu humain. SCP-956-EN s'est également révélé très résistant à tous types de dégâts contondants, puisque son intégrité structurelle ne présente aucun dégâts après avoir été soumis à de fortes pressions, bien que l'usage d'armes à feu ainsi que la chaleur et les flammes se sont montrés efficaces.

En temps normal, SCP-956-EN reste dans un état passif. Il ne présente aucun signe de locomotion ou d'intelligence, et n'affiche aucune intention hostile. Tant que les conditions d'activation de l'objet ne sont pas remplis, l'objet restera dans cet état indéfiniment. Voir l'Addendum 956-a.

SCP-956-EN entre dans une phase active quand un humain de moins de 12 ans entre dans un rayon de ██ mètres autour de lui. Approximativement █ à ██ secondes après avoir pénétré dans la zone active, l'enfant n'arrive plus à bouger et se fige dans la position qu'il avait à ce moment. La victime ne peut ni bouger ni parler, bien qu'étant toujours vivante, et ses mouvements rapides des yeux indiquent qu'elle reste consciente. SCP-956-EN se dirige alors vers la victime et le frappe jusqu'à ce que le torse éclate. Une fois brisé, le corps de la victime relâche un grand nombre de bonbons (entre ██ et ████ pièces) dépourvus de marquage distinct. Ces bonbons sont désignés SCP-956-1-EN. SCP-956-EN répète cette opération sur toutes les victimes immobilisées avant de retourner à un état passif.

Une victime peut être retirée de la zone d'activation de SCP-956-EN si elle est rapidement récupérée. Après avoir éloigné la victime de ██ mètres, SCP-956-EN retourne à son état passif. La victime, cependant, ne montre aucun signe de rétablissement de son état d'immobilité et semble rester dans cet état indéfiniment. Les autopsies des victimes non brisées montrent que leur corps ont subi une déshydratation sévère qui les laissent friables. Les autopsies ont également révélé que des morceaux de SCP-956-1-EN avaient commencé à pousser sur les organes des victimes, en employant les tissus de la victime comme composant. Le nombre de SCP-956-1-EN semble directement lié au temps passé dans la zone d'activation de SCP-956-EN.

Les effets de SCP-956-1-EN varient selon l'âge de la personne qui les consomment. Les humains ayant au moins 12 ans font un anévrisme dans les █ minutes après la consommation, avec un risque de █ % d'arrêt cardiaque. Ces personnes ont approximativement ██ % de chance de survie. Les animaux subissent un effet équivalent, quelque soit leur âge. Les enfants de moins de 12 ans subissent des effets différents. Ils commencent par entrer dans un état similaire aux victimes paralysées de SCP-956-EN, bien qu'ils adoptent une position debout avec leurs bras ballants devant eux. Ensuite, leur corps [DONNÉES SUPPRIMÉES]. Le processus prend environ █ minutes pour s'achever. Une fois le processus terminé, la victime s'est transformée en une autre instance de SCP-956-EN. Ces copies se conduisent de la même manière que SCP-956-EN. Les chances de survie de la victime sont de 0 %.

Addendum 956-a:

SCP-956-EN a récemment commencé à se déplacer en dehors des expériences. Il commença à tourner autour de sa zone de confinement, en suivant le périmètre de la pièce. Il fit cela pendant une heure avant de fixer un point sur le mur. L'analyse des enregistrements a démontré qu'il faisait face à ce mur lors de sa désactivation durant les précédents tests. Les membres du personnel de sécurité ont confirmé que SCP-956-EN s'orientait en direction d'une école primaire. Cette école se trouve à ██ kilomètres du site. Reclassification en statut d'Euclide demandée.

Dr N███

Reclassification en Euclide acceptée. Si ses effets commencent à s'étendre au-delà de sa zone de confinement, il faut qu'il soit transféré au Site-██, où il devrait être assez éloigné de victimes potentielles. Récupérez toutes les victimes paralysées ou tout SCP-956-1-EN, et administrez des amnésique de Classe A aux témoins et aux familles. Nous n'avons pas besoin de plus de ces choses dans la nature.

O5-█

"As you can see, these things are super dangerous, and eating those candies turns you into one of them if you are 12-years-old or younger."

"And if you're older?"

"Oh, it just kills you by sending you into cardiac arrest."

"I wonder if someone could market that as substitute for cyanide pills…"

"Cassy, how did you find and destroy that one?"

"Oh, well…I was at the malt shop when I saw one of those pinatas. Some kid thought it one of those Fortnite piñatas the kids keep talking about. It actually punched the kid more times than a Jojo character! I also had to destroy the candy the kid dropped. I had to smash it which took a while, about 45 minutes. Maybe bullets and flamethrowers would be more effective."

"It seems that they are fairy/psychic types with quad resistance to fighting with dual weaknesses to both steel and fire."

"No one cares about your nerdy weeaboo talk, Stinkoln. This is serious!"

"Yeah, we need to get the word out! This deadly game is still going on. 19 instances left, but we don't know how many children they've killed yet!"

"I'll send an email to Trump."

* * *

Lisa does so, meanwhile at the White House…

"Sir. There have been reports internationally that piñatas have been murdering children worldwide! What do we tell the other nations?"

"Tell them to fight back by any means necessary. Since they target children, tell them that the adults should be the ones fighting these threats to the world. If that Joker thinks he's won…no, it's only just begun."

"Right away, sir."

A message comes in the white house computer. However, Trump is called away to address the nation on the current state of affairs concerning the rise of anomalies these past few months as well as progress on the UN anomalous task force.

A senator rushes in.

"Mr. President, Mr. President!"

It looks like he just missed him.

"Ah, he must be lying to our nation! I had something important to tell him besides telling him to go fuck himself…"

And who should show up but one of the most progressive liberal soyboys, Gavin Newsom. His proud legacy of being one of the most corrupt politicians of our time, his greatest achievement was almost single handedly turning California into a literal shithole, just like India. Sadly, even the commies don't like him and they can't vote him out since it isn't 2022 yet. Of course, being a Californian Democrat, he, like most of the party, are on the Orange Man Bad Bandwagon and they are still trying to impeach him!

He looks at Trump's computer and sees some unread emails.

"I'll bet this is where those 33,000 emails were, orange blowtard."

He opens one of them. I'm pretty sure reading someone else's mail is illegal, but when have Californians ever cared about laws, especially if they've got that Democommie privilege?

"Of course, fire and fury are what kill these things. This has to be a false flag operation by Orange Man Bad to stay in power and turn this country into a fascist dictatorship that kills the minorities! Even though all the white people in California have been replaced with Guatemalans, that's beside the point. This whole country must be diverse and completely devoid of white people."

Including yourself, you commie shill? If only we had SCP-2578-EN to eradicate these people, because they've become the fascists they've sworn to destroy. Sorry, Woody Guthrie, I don't think even your badass guitar can kill these people.

He deletes the email.

"This'll teach you for drone striking those Arab children, you white supremacist xenophobic bigot!"

Gavin Newsom immediately brings this to the Democrat Communist Party's attention and they immediately file articles of impeachment for like the 144th time this month. This time Drumpf is finished, we swear! And yet again, it was another nothing burger that anyone with a brain cell could figure out was another failed coup attempt to oust Trump.

* * *

Aside from that distraction, there are still 19 of these things out there, and we don't know where they are! Leave it to actual citizens of these countries to get things done. They begin setting up an intranetwork dedicated to the deadly game. Lisa had already confirmed a 956-EN termination in the US, as well as telling the intranetwork their weakness to bullets and fire as well as telling them not to eat the delicious, yet deadly candy they drop. All people from around the world begin hunting these things down! That Pennywise reject will not win!

"香港人喺呢度, 抗議者設法打死了一人。 佢哋放火燒左佢, 燒掉了所有的糖果!"

"भिक्षुहरूले हाम्रो नम्र भूमिमा एउटा भेट्टाए। घुरकाहरूले यसलाई नामेट गरे र क्यान्डीहरूलाई बौद्धको रीतिथितिमा जलाए।"

"Hej der, Greenlander her. Det er overraskende vi fik en her, da ikke engang plager ankommer her, men de indfødte dræbte det med en harpun pistol. Vi smadret slik i en Pulp, ligesom det spil alle fodbold mødre spille."

"Биз табылган бир өрттөдү."

"Tui, oti, olopala ai seia."

"Les riches de Monaco viennent de le ramasser et de le jeter dans notre incinérateur. C'est pour détruire les vieilles factures, ne t'inquiète pas."

"Манайхан хүчирхэг Чингис хааны уур хилэнг доргиож цөлийн элсээр тархав."

"Ka tahuna e matou taatau i roto i nga tikanga a-iwi."

"Spalony, cukierek Shattered jak kryształ noc."

"Våre flammekaster. Det var ganske spektakulært."

"Grüße aus Liechtenstein. Unsere Polizei schoss es bis zum Tod. Wir warfen die Süßigkeiten in unsere Kamine."

"Mexicano aquí, era una locura, gringos y gringas. ¡Había una turba enojada llena de gente quemando todas las malditas piñatas que vieron! Sin embargo, mataron a uno aquí."

"Killar, hjälp! Jag är från Åland, och Finland tillät Swedistan att skicka muslimska jihadister till Allahu Akbar befolkningen här! De dödade en Pinata genom att halshuggning det och kastar en Molotov cocktail i kaviteten, though."

"Dindar İslamcılarımızdan bazıları pinata'yı buldu ve ona taş attı. Onlar da her şeker tanrıya bir kaya "kurban" paramparça. Biraz zaman aldı ..."

"Vela 'a e afi."

"Aħna maħruq f ' nar qaddis, flimkien mat-tentazzjonijiet tiegħu."

"Allahu Muslim yang taat Akbar dirinya untuk membunuh Iblis pinata. Beliau meninggal dunia sebagai Wira."

"From Tuvalu, we kill piñata by spear. Kill candy by spear, too."

"Nauruan here, killed it by burning."

That is all 20 SCP-956-EN instances terminated. This was a global achievement! Everyone who participated in this effort was congratulating each other over ShichiKun's forums. But now that the game has concluded, Bobble is back with the final results.

* * *

"It looks like those piñatas had a bit of an island invasion this time. Well, congratulations, you killed the child killers. It was quite amazing seeing all of you collaborate like this. Anyways, before you terminated all 20 of them, the total number of children killed by the 20 instances was…"

"3218! Congratulations! You get an achievement!"

**Achievement Unlocked: You're Grounded!**

"_Hey, it's your friendly neighborhood SCP-2900-EN, Nobody Gets Left Behind. You may have seen me before in SpongeBob SquarePants. I was in the episode "Big Pink Loser" if you were curious. The Louds have actually been gaining my feel-good achievements for quite a while. I just didn't tell you because it would break up the flow of the story, never mind that since this is a story and not a video game, most of the achievements are freebies anyway! Ok, the You're Grounded achievement is obtained by letting less than 5000 children die during the deadly game. It would be cool if that number was 0 but that is physically impossible. Its counterpart is Pedicide, where you have to let more than 5000 children die. Anyways, I'll let the story continue on. Good bye."_

"Well that's not entirely true. There's one more child killer left, me. But I must go now, my universe needs me.

A dimensional gateway appears near Bobble. The feed cuts out as he turns into an orange, writhing mass of bright lights as the dimensional gateway closes.

"Well, that happened."

Luan thinks she knows what that was.

"I think those were the deadlights."

"What are those?"

"Orange lights that are incomprehensible to our dimension. Being near it will either make you insane or kill you. The deadlights are unkillable, and though it can create avatars and those avatars can be killed, the deadlights themselves cannot be."

"This is troubling…but even then, SCP-230-EN is still the most dangerous SCP we've encountered so far."

"Really? That creepy clown said that 3218 children were killed!" Lincoln states

"Yes, but there were 20 of them. SCP-230-EN killed 900 people by himself. Actually, SCP-956-1-EN through 20-EN killed about 160 people each on average." Lisa points out

All that the Louds, and the world, can do now is wait…and hope that the next SCP is not a hostile.

* * *

**Author's Note: The 20 countries invaded by the SCP-956-EN instances were Hong Kong, Nepal, Greenland, Kyrgyzstan, Samoa, Monaco, Mongolia, Poland, Norway, Liechtenstein, Mexico, Aland islands, Turkey, Tonga, Malta, Malaysia, Tuvalu, Nauru, Mayotte and The US.**


	20. Mall Daze

**Track Featured: Lost in IKEA by Nicolas Carr and Steve Marston**

Well the anomalies start coming and they don't stop coming and don't stop coming, you guessed it, it's Anomalous Burst time. This time, the burst appears to drop off a young girl. She appears to be around Lucy's age with blonde hair and celadon irises. This burst is notable in that it is only one of only two anomalies that spawned inside the Loud House. The crack in spacetime seals itself up, leaving this person as a stranger in a strange land. She enters the first room on the left and is immediately pulled into a strange mall like location.

"What is this place?"

The intercom harmfully chimes in.

"Welcome, shoppers to the 12 Oaks Mall in Nova, Michigan. To enhance your shopping experience, here's a catchy pop tune that we're sure you'll enjoy."

The song blares on over the intercom.

_You got to believe  
I'm lost in IKEA  
You got to believe  
Last till morning light_

_You got to believe  
I'll die in IKEA  
You got to believe  
We'll survive the night_

_Surrounded by furniture  
Manufactured by Swedes  
Lost forever  
And we'll never be freed_

_Been 30 months  
Trapped in this place  
Surviving on meatballs  
The staff are crazed_

_You got to believe  
I'm lost in IKEA  
You got to believe  
Last till morning light_

_You got to believe  
I'll die in IKEA  
You got to believe  
We'll survive the night _

_You got to believe  
I'm lost in IKEA  
You got to believe  
Last till morning light_

_You got to believe  
I'll die in IKEA  
You got to believe  
We'll survive the night_

* * *

Well, that's very reassuring. She's pretty sure people have actually died from getting lost in IKEA, but she wouldn't know anything about that, IKEA is in Sweden and she's Icelandic, and she's been in that science place since 2008, so she wouldn't even be able to see the different IKEA locations. She continues exploring this place. It might not be the Mall of America but 12 Oaks Mall is still a gargantuan place, it has between 180 to 200 different stores! There is a directory and she does look at it…

"Wow, this is completely worthless!"

The map shows the place has 2 floors, just like the original mall, but this is _**not **_the original 12 Oaks Mall. At least, even she knows that there's no way you can fit an entire mall, especially one as big as this, into a single bedroom!

She continues exploring the mall filled with these uncanny valley "customers", it's like the IKEA all over again! She walks up to a TEF (teen female) entity and tries to talk with "her"? She kind of looks like a vocaloid, which is strange.

"Hey, can you get me piece of candy? Any candy will do. If you do, I'll give you something in return."

Well, this has piqued the curiosity of this anomaly. She generates a candy for her. The entity promptly eats it.

"Wow, multidimensional flavor! Thanks! Here's your reward!"

The entity gifts the anomaly 10 Dodecaquercus dollars.

"Those are Dodecaquercus dollars. They are the main currency of this dimension. You can use it to buy stuff within this dimension. Since Dodecaquercus is hard to say and or remember, we just call them 12 Oak dollars. There is a currency converter in the middle of the dimension to convert it into real money, but the real-world currency changes every day. Her sister joked that if you got the Zimbabwean dollar, the currency would be so worthless that the Zimbabweans would use it for toilet paper."

Wait, they use toilet paper?

"Her sister?"

"The Director of Style. She manages this place, but few of us get the privilege to bask in her eminence. Her sister is kind of…abrasive but she does point out this place is easy to get lost in. She's gotten trapped in here before."

"Does this director know the way out?"

"Yes, but she's difficult to find. But if her sister gets trapped in here again, she has a direct link to her so she can collapse the dimension."

"Won't that kill us?"

"No. But it would force real people out of the dimension, along with any money they earn. Of course, DQD/TOD is worthless in the real world, just like Monopoly™ money."

"So, do you have a name?"

"We're supposed to be extra characters to make it look like the mall is full. We don't really have names, but my name is Saki, I guess."

"Sake, what a nice name. Is there anything else I should know about this place?"

"Make it to a hotel at night. It costs DQD/TOD to enter, but its dangerous at night. Not as dangerous as IKEA, but if you fall asleep on the floor, the cleanup crew might mistake you for trash and incinerate you in your sleep. You can also earn money by working a job at one of the approximately 200 stores."

"Hmm, ok thanks."

"No problem, just watch out for the IKEA transplants. Some of them work in the stores and they work just as the did there! You know which one they are since they'll try to kill you at night if they see you after hours."

Oh no, SCP-3008-2-ENs have invaded this dimension? Welp, anyone who's entered here is screwed.

"Don't worry, the police here will kill any 3008-2-ENs trying to kill you, and the cleanup crew considers them trash and will incinerate them. Believe it or not but the cleanup crew is about as strong as 3008-2-EN!"

The anomaly parts ways with the strange being, and after doing more favors for people and getting a part time job at the Taco Bell™, she has managed to get 700 DQD/TOD as night falls, indicated by a skylight in the center of the mall. She does what the entity suggested and checks into a hotel for the night. 1 day has officially passed within the mall, but who knows how long has passed outside this dimension? Luckily, jobs here are on one day contracts, so you can't get fired unless you really try!

She explores the mall once again, trying to find an exit or the director, but considering this is the US version of the IKEA, she's probably not getting out unless she gets really lucky. Something with this dimension must be interfering with her anomaly.

Going to the center of the mall, she converts some of it with the currency of the day, this time it is US dollars. She only got $1 dollar out of it, though. Dang inflation…

* * *

But wait, she sees a blonde teenager, and unlike the things that occupy this dimension, she looks like a real human being! She begins muttering something.

"Dang it, Leni! Why is it that every time I go into this room, this dimension of yours always gets in the way!"

The anomaly approaches her.

"Who are you talking about, miss?"

"The teen looks at the kid and sighs.

"Great, a kid managed to get lost in here. It's just like that time you got lost during summer break in an IKEA and almost died."

The teenager appears to have another vison.

_This girl appears to be staring down a gangly creature who's face she can't see. Both of the entities appear to be in a forest clearing. She summons a weapon and begins slicing the creature apart atom by atom._

"_I won't let you hurt anyone anymore."_

The vision abruptly ends.

What was that? There's no time to think about it, though. Both of them are trapped in this dimension. With no time to lose, the girl calls someone.

"Hey, it's Lori. What do you mean "which Lori"? It's your sister! Listen, I've gotten trapped in here again. Can you disable the dimension so I can get my stuff? Hey, how dare you tell me I should learn to navigate better! Oh, by the way, you finally trapped someone in here. No, I mean someone who isn't me! Look, why do you even have this thing up in this first place? Isn't the Royal Woods mall good enough to satisfy your fashion curiosity? Just disable the field!"

She hangs up. Immediately, the dimension collapses and the room is back to its original form. Lori and Leni's bedroom has never looked better. Lori immediately grabs her cellphone from its charger.

"Ah, it's finished charging. Now I can begin my 24-hour conversation with Bobby! But first…

* * *

"Louds, intruder alert!"

Suddenly, all Loud siblings begin approaching the entity, except Leni. Leni just…stares at her, as if thinking about something.

"Alright, girlie. I'll give three seconds to tell us why we shouldn't terminate you." Lynn Jr threatens

Terminate…terminate…there was a file about terminating something similar to this anomaly. What was it?

"Oh, please. Acid washing would be a way better means of extracting information. Just like we do in Guantanamo." Lola suggests

"Uh, how do you know about that, Lola?"

"News documentary before all the news became fake. The bleeding-heart communists want to import the prisoners here so they can destroy America faster! Well, they are **terrorists **and we should execute them so they don't destroy anything else! I heard one of the 9/11 hijackers is there! We should send him to Jahannam where the piece of garbage belongs!"

Damn, that was scary and also questionably patriotic. It's nice to know that Lola appreciates what America used to be.

"Guys you're going about this all wrong, we should tie her up and use mental manipulation on her to get her spill her secrets." Lori points out

Well, I didn't think Lori was one of those girls. I feel extra terrible for Bobby then…

"If I may, this entity could theoretically be a reality warper. As such, I have taken the liberty of building this thing the Foundation uses to contain them. They are called Scranton reality anchors and they should stop anything it contains from affecting baseline reality."

The Foundation…termination…highly dangerous? Possible Keter class anomaly? Little girl? But wait, SRAs didn't exist in 2008, so could that actually work on her? If this is the entity Leni is thinking of…

"A Scranton reality anchor? Those things do more damage to reality than I could ever do!"

"I don't believe you."

"SCP-3241-EN."

Lisa looks it up.

"Shit, she's right. But I'm still going to use it since it only fails 50% of the time."

Lisa turns on the Scranton reality anchor.

"SCRANTON REALITY ANCHOR ONLINE: HUME LEVEL AT 1.0; REALITY CURRENTLY STABLE."

Lisa turns the device toward the anomaly.

"HUME LEVEL OF ANOMALY IS 30/500, WARNING, ENTITY IS CLASSIFIED AS A LEVEL 5 REALITY WARPER. ACTION AGAINST ENTITY HIGHLY DISCOURAGED!"

"Generate containment field."

"GENERATING CONTAINMENT FIELD…OPERATION FAILED. MALFUNCTION. CEASING OPERATION."

"Told you. Those things are notoriously unreliable."

Hume readings 30/500?! That clinches it. There is no more doubt. That has to be SCP-239-EN! Site-17 should be on lockdown, since she is a Keter class anomaly, borderline Apollyon class, if Doctor Clef is to be believed.

"I can't confirm this, but god has a 0/860 hume level on average."

"Oh, please. God doesn't exist." Lisa scoffs

"Sure, he does! SCP-343-EN is probably the closest thing to god there is, checkmate, atheist."

"Guys, stop. I know which anomaly this is."

"Oh, really? Which one is it?"

"239-EN."

"SCP-239-EN? Isn't that the one where [DATA EXPUNGED] happened?"

"Yes, but don't remind her of that. Her anomaly is that anything she can think of becomes true. Her mind makes it real, quite literally. So, we've got to be careful what we say to her."

"Well, we already failed that test. Saying we're going to kill her three different ways."

"Uh, maybe you should leave this anomaly to me."

"Welp, we're fucked. Might as well tell her to end reality right now." Lynn Jr mocks

"Lynn, language!"

Everyone else disperses as Leni takes the anomaly into Lori and her room.

"Sorry Leni, I don't feel comfortable with an Apollyon class entity in our room."

"What are you talking about? We live with Lola all the time, and she's Apollyon class even before she got her anomalous powers."

"At least Lola can control herself. As I-239-B-CK told us, she's unstable! She can't control her power! She can cause an XK class end of the world scenario without even meaning to!"

Lori sighs.

"Whatever, I'll wait for the day you two destroy this dimension."

She leaves.

* * *

"Don't worry, I'll train you!" Leni says chipperly

"Really? The last time someone said that, I was put in a coma for 11 years."

"Well, maybe they just didn't have the resources."

Leni, using her own reality warping anomaly, opens up a portal.

"After you."

She steps in the portal as Leni follows behind her. They are transported to a strange place.

"This is a pocket dimension that I made that has absolutely nothing in it. This is the perfect place for you to learn how to control your anomaly. As a fellow reality warper, I can stop anything that gets too dangerous. Let's start with something easy. Make me a sandwich, any sandwich will do, as long as its edible."

SCP-239-EN generates a sandwich. Leni takes a bite out of it.

"Gross! What was in that?!"

"Peanut butter and sauerkraut. Those are edible ingredients."

"Yeah, but not a great combination. For some reason, Linky loves these things and we still don't know why. Anyways, maybe I should have been more specific. Make me a ball."

She does so.

"Good. Maybe we need to increase the difficulty. Make me a video game character."

SCP-239-EN doesn't know what a video game character is, but she did see a cringy OC of something that looked like one.

She generates a white haired edgelord with an improbably long katana. Thankfully, it's just a model.

"Sephiroth from FFVII. Predictable, but it still counts. You pass this one. How about a character from an animated cartoon?"

Being in a coma for 11 years, she wasn't really exposed to this kind of stuff. But she did see some sponge creature on some drawings, so she decides to make that. She generates a little square dude.

"Ah, SpongeBob SquarePants, the emperor of Nickelodeon. A fine character. I think we're done for today. We'll continue training tomorrow, but don't forget to sleep. Maybe meditation would help control your powers?"

Leni despawns the creations that she made for the tests.

"I want to know more about you, what is your name?"

"Sigurrós Stefánsdóttir."

"Hmm, Lisa told me last names like that are from Nordic countries, are you?"

"Yes, I was from Iceland from what the scientists told me."

"Which city?"

"Kópavogur."

"Do you have any friends or hobbies?"

"No."

"Why are your eyes like that?"

"My eyes? They're green."

"Yes, but they look more grey than green."

"I guess. They shimmer when I make stuff."

"Can you die?"

"Do you want me to?"

"No, but the VEI article on you says you're invincible, so are you?"

"Invincible? I don't think I am. But I am stronger than a normal person. The only thing the article said that can hurt me is an alloy of some sort, made from platinum, iridium as well as trace and anomalous metals."

"Do you know of any other SCPs?"

"Sure, I know Iris and Double, since we were all contained in Site-17. I think I saw Cain once, too. I also know about 336-EN because she tried to kill Doctor Clef. He also wielded a red knife imbued with hatred, it causes fear in people. I think I heard the number 668 with it. That alloy, its number was 148. I am SCP-239-EN…apparently. Who knew the Foundation went international. I heard there are 12 different branches now!"

"How do you know about SCP-3241-EN?"

"Your dimension has Internet access. I just looked it up online."

"Ok. I think that is enough for today."

The two leave the dimension. Well, now that there are two reality warpers, how can reality survive? And more importantly, what are the Louds going to do about these Anomalous Bursts! They're still leaking characters from other dimensions! Who knows how long this dimension's hume levels will stay stable?


	21. Seeing Double

**Warning: Contains spoilers from Omega Ultra's "Stories And Tales From Dimension 63" fanfiction. If you have not read that story…well, then what are you doing here? Go read that story, it's awesome! Come back here when you're done.**

"Run a security check to see if any SCPs have escaped. With all these Anomalous Burst incidences, I have a feeling some of them have gone through."

"Right away, O5-2."

Α1, the O5's personal mobile task force, begin the insane task of scouring the many Foundation sites worldwide. With over 5000 anomalies in just the English branch alone they're going to have their work cut out for them, scouring all 12 divisions! But since you cosmic entities already know which ones escaped, we'll just cut to that and not waste any of your precious time.

"SCP-230-EN contained." One of the MTFs call

"Excellent."

"Uh, boss lady. We've got an Apollyon class problem."

"What is it?"

"SCP-106-EN has breached containment…again…"

"Fucking hell…work with Τ5 and see if he is in another dimension. Because if he is, well, that dimension wouldn't last long with the inevitable IK class global civilization collapse scenario due to mass hysteria."

"You sound hysterical."

"Do I sound…of course I'm **FUCKING HYSTERICAL**! SCP-106-EN, a fucking **APOLLYON** class, is busy torturing some hapless victims in an unknown dimension! And since we can't kill the bastard, the only option we have to save both our dimension and every dimension, is to "contain" him, and it's not even **REAL** containment, it's just distracting him indefinitely until he gets bored and the vicious cycle repeats. Oh, and there are 36 different dimensions that have the Foundation in them, can you imagine _**36 **_of these fuckers running amok?! I don't want to even think about that possibility!"

"Well, it's just as djkaktus once said, this is the way it ends."

Dead silence.

"You're demoted to Ε11, jackass. You're lucky I'm not sending you to D-class, because I know a certain SCP that you'll see eye to eye with perfectly." Sophia says with a chilling voice

The other MTF overheard that.

"Oh shit, dude. You must have _**really **_pissed her off! What did you do?"

"I don't know what's got O5-2s panties in a wad. I just said, "this is the way it ends" to her."

"Uh huh, what about?"

"SCP-106-EN escaping…again. She said something about dealing with 36 of them."

"Dude. No one in this multiverse wants to deal with SCP-106-EN. Let alone 36 of them."

"You guys know I can hear you, right? Anyways, tell your friend to report for Keter duty. I'm sure that since he's _**such **_an expert on SCP-106-EN, I'm sure that he can easily contain the Haunter in the Dark."

"But boss, that is SCP-689-EN, not 106-EN."

"I know what I said."

She hangs up on the 106-EN exploration team.

"Well you just got a death sentence, buddy."

"Oh, please. Getting _**any**_ Keter SCP is a death sentence."

"Yeah, but 689-EN is different. This one _omae wa mou shindeiru's _you if you look away from it for even a fraction of a Planck second!

"Nani?!"

"This is serious. You really shouldn't have pissed off Doctor Light."

"Whatever. She's not a real O5 Council member, the only reason she's even here is because O5-1 gave her the nepotism treatment."

"Blasphemy! O5-2 got in here because of her accomplishments and not because of some presumed nepotism. O5-1 was impressed by her, and that is why she was inducted into the council."

Geeze, if this is O5-2's reaction to the breaches and she is the **nicest **of the O5 Council (O5-13 doesn't count, since he's dead; Something about signing a contract with Death), I'd hate to see the other O5's reactions!

"Sigh, the rest of your progress reports, Red Right Hand. Did any other SCPs escape?"

"SCP-085-EN has escaped."

"Wait, what? How is that even possible?! She's a drawing on a piece of paper!"

"Honestly, we're not sure either."

"O5-2! O5-2!"

Doctor Light responds to the MTFs cries.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"We have a problem of XK class proportions! SCP-096-EN is gone!"

"Gone?! Tell me everything!"

"We were going to check on the pressure plates we installed in its cube cell, but there's no pressure on them! It's like he just vanished into thin air!"

"Has anyone seen its face, online or maybe a picture?"

"Not since we seized that "four pixel" picture and destroyed it. And we've had 096-EN in containment since that incident, so no one but the Foundation has seen it. Besides, the containment cell has no damage to it."

"Ah shit! If anyone sees its face…!"

"We've got Μ4, Debuggers, working on terminating the electrical grid to stop rapid dissemination of 096-EN's face to the world."

"Great, but he may be in a different dimension. If we take down this grid, people are going to want to know why the power was cut. More to the point, there would be mass suicides because people reliant on the Internet wouldn't have it for as long as the power's out."

"Damn, your right. But where should we start looking?"

"Τ5 is already looking for SCP-106-EN, I'm sure they can help with other anomalous breaches, spread the word to the other members of Α1."

"Thanks, O5-2."

They hang up.

"SCP-706-EN has breached containment."

"Concerning, but she's only a risk to herself, and not humanity."

"SCP-993-EN and 956-EN are still contained."

"Excellent. At least we have two Keter classes still contained."

"Sir…er…Ma'am…Miss? Anyway, O5-2. Site-17 is in complete lockdown! SCP-239-EN has breached containment! Doctor Alto Clef almost died by giving himself an aneurysm!"

Strange, I thought Doctor Clef can't die? Didn't he blast himself with a shotgun? Anyways, Sophia can't help but smirk and internally laugh that Doctor Clef almost _**killed himself **_by letting himself believe that SCP-239-EN has to die. Considering 239-ENs anomaly, it's almost as if Doctor Clef fulfilled a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Boss, are you smirking? This isn't a laughing matter! 239-EN has escaped!"

"Ok, I'm fine now. The best course of action would be to locate any dimensions with abnormal hume levels that what would be expected of said dimension. Since 239-EN can make anything she believes real, it would only be a matter of time before she makes something to disrupt the natural hume level of that dimension."

"There might not be a dimension left, if Doctor Clef is to be believed."

"If that was the case, then she would have trapped herself in the void of that dimension. Besides, I've looked at Incident Clef-Kondraki, and it seems to me that 239-EN would have been just fine had Doctor Clef not announced his plan to terminate her over the intercom."

All of the Red Right Hand members have given their reports. Sophia dictates that 096-EN is the highest priority to recontain, given his anomaly. 106-EN is the second highest, given that he's extremely slow and takes its time torturing/killing its victims. 239-EN is third because of her reality warping anomaly but unlike Doctor Clef, Sophia doesn't think she'll destroy the world if freed; She might try to run away from the Foundation, not that she blames her. 706-EN and 085-EN are low priority recaptures, since they don't really hurt people and people might confuse them for ordinary objects.

"Ok, find and recontain those anomalies!"

"Yes, Ma'am!"

* * *

O5-2 uses her anomaly to teleport to where SCP-230-EN is being held. She tries to interview him. SCP-230-EN sounds like he's stoned out of his mind, but that may be the dopamine crash talking. She puts on a biohazard suit and begins the interview.

"Woah, being interviewed by the most powerful woman in the Foundation? I guess today might be my lucky day."

"Yes. Now, one of the researchers here said you fell through a crack in your cell. Is that right?"

"How did you know about that? That researcher lady said she was high off of amnestics and didn't believe me!"

"So, you did tell her you escaped?"

"I didn't escape, man. I fell through a dimensional gateway. I ended up in some town I didn't recognize."

"Right, then what?"

"Well, I decided to celebrate my perceived freedom from the man by throwing the greatest party of all time!"

"Wow, that seems the best thing ever, SCP-230-EN!"

"At least one of you Council members get it! So, I began preparing for the party by getting permits for my stage and of course celebrity cameos, because who doesn't love celebrities?! They'll totally add some credibility to my party!"

"Awesome idea! Which celebrities did you get?"

"Oh, I wanted to go for a musical theme, so I got a few music artists from YouTube. Alex Beckham himself was the headliner for my party!"

"Wow, I'm a fan of Alex, too!"

"Come on, lady! You're sounding like an r/howdoyoudofellowkids Redditor! You're just saying that so I'll tell you where I was!"

"No, I actually do like Alex's music!"

"Oh, really?! Then tell me, what's Alex's YouTube username?"

"Easy, Man on the Internet."

SCP-230-EN is stunned, he's sure O5-2 wouldn't be "hip" enough to know what YouTube is, let alone a specific user!

"Maybe I've underestimated you, lady. Well, ok. I had also gotten a bunch of other famous people to do some introductory songs. Specifically, Congratulations and Life is Fun. Now, if you really are into Internet culture, what was TheOdd1sOut's job before YouTube?"

"Subway™ sandwich artist, but he can't say it because of copyright, so he says Sooubway™, instead."

"Wow."

He applauds her.

"You know about James! I thought you were just some poser, but you really are one of us! I'll gladly tell you the rest of the story! So, these happy go lucky people in hazmat suits tried to crash the party. I guess they somehow know about my anomaly? Anyways, I thought it would be fun for both me and the audience to have a musical duel. They had someone named Carol duel the god himself, Alex Beckham. She survived 4 songs back to back! But then, my headliner went rogue and I needed a closing act, so there was a little duel, where the audience voted. I stumbled into the night, hungover, and walked into a crack, where I passed out on the bed until the next day. Damn, that was a good night."

"That was an experience. Do you remember where you were, or at least any notable characteristics of where you were?"

"Well, the dimension did look comic book-y to me. And those crusaders that crashed my party were all girls, so I think a comic book focused on females would be my guess."

"This has been very enlightening, SCP-230-EN, thank you."

"Hey, before you leave…"

Sophia glances back at him.

"I'll be sure to invite you to my next party. You're pretty cool."

"Wow. Thanks."

* * *

She leaves SCP-230-ENs chamber and gives the biohazard suit back. Teleporting back to base, she compiles a list of all known dimensions with a similar match with what SCP-230-EN said. Unfortunately, there are a quite a lot of them.

63i'\: Genderbent, SCP-230-EN said it is female dominated.

C-137: Rick and Morty, wrong universe, high probability SCP-230-EN ended up in a Loud House dimension.

J-J Ink 9-16: Currently unknown, need more information.

SAK-FTL-1: This one sounds like Rakanadyo's "Flip the Lid" fanfiction, we should thank him for serializing other SCPs from other dimensions. Could be possible, but keep looking.

EXTS-411: This one sounds like Exotos135's "The Loud Sim Date" fanfiction, even though he thinks it's trash, some people find it pretty cool. Possible, but unlikely.

ARCH-17: This one sounds like Archemios' "A Pirate's Life" fanfiction. It's not this one, SCP-230-EN landed in a modern town, not one from the 1700s.

HRM-YNDR-34: Sounds dangerous. Probably not this one, since SCP-230-EN recounts 13 people confronting him. If that acronym means what I think it does, a lot of people are going to die.

4CHAN-B1: Hilarious, but unlikely.

OU-UB-27: Porn, skipping. From the designation, it appears that this is Omega Ultra's "Unwavering Bonds" fanfiction. However, it seems that this one is not porn even though C-137 Lincoln sees otherwise.

C-1: No, if they were on a ranch, SCP-230-EN would have mentioned it. Besides, a ranch is probably not a good place to throw a party.

C-13: Rabbit dimension, not this one.

CX-135: Dead. Apparently, Gaben finally made Half-Life 3 in this dimension and the results were not pretty.

EVL-234: No data, but it's a safe bet it's not this one.

XD-119: No data.

YZ-85: No data.

46'/: No data.

11B: Genderbent, where all siblings are boys. Not this one.

AX-144: Dead. There's nothing left here.

WLVN-22708: Porn, skipping

ZNDR-2121: Nope. SCP-230-EN did not mention anything about their height, but following basic biology, they should not be the same height if they're different ages.

J-J-BNI-12/30: Porn, skipping.

UH-RFAL-C3: This one sounds like UnderratedHero's legendary fanfiction "Requiem for a Loud"/ "Operation Farewell". It is not this one, because even SCP-230-EN with compound [EXPUNGED] will cry in this dimension. It's just that moving and O5-2 is pretty sure SCP-230-EN isn't heartless.

TLA-GL-2: This one sounds like The Loud Author's "Guardian Louds" fanfiction. It can't be this one, because they'd be too busy being Super Sentai to have a musical duel with SCP-230-EN.

EXTS-OU-TPH-437-31: Porn, skipping. This was a collaboration by Exotos135 and Omega Ultra to give a symbolic "fuck you" to the person who made this come into existence. Exotos135 was so triggered by the ending and how the villain of the story got no punishment, that he made a dimension just to rectify this miscarriage of justice! The fanfiction is called "The Pregnancy House" and I would rather get [DATA EXPUNGED] by SCP-096-EN than read this crap!

EX-196: Dead, but apparently Undertale existed in this dimension.

KX-165: Dead.

Sea-137: Uh…no. It's not this one.

CD-WIAFD-2: Dead. Not even SCP-230-EN could make this post-apocalyptic wasteland happy. Sophia remembers telling a dimension hopping girl about this wretched dimension. Green really liked this fanfiction for…some reason.

BD-12-30-16: Considering the elder sisters die in this dimension, it's safe to say this is not the one.

SBX-NF-25: This one sounds like Sunblast X's "Neon Flash" fanfiction. If he had superpowers, then they could just terminate SCP-230-EN instead of having a music duel with him.

FJR-34-3: Possibly, but let's keep looking.

THSK-LG-14: This one sounds like Thunderstrike16's "Loud Gravity" fanfiction. SCP-230-EN never mentioned anything related to Gravity Falls, so it's unlikely that this is the right dimension.

RX-64: Dead. A modified version of 63i'/, where armed robbers killed the parents, sister and two brothers. It's not this one, but this dimension sounds really depressing.

TX-121: Dead.

ZX-289: Fate unknown, most likely dead.

DT-1i: World covered in water, not this one.

0i: The Trapezohedron of Tricks, a strange dimension that mirrors the pyramid that Bill Cipher uses to start Weirdmaggedon.

379-X: The first dead dimension. It was destroyed millennia ago.

ORGN-25: Bunny dimension, not this one.

SBX-ML-19: This one sounds like Sunblast X's "Mother Luna" fanfiction. Considering the subject matter, I don't think they would have enough time to deal with SCP-230-EN's party.

BRD-482: Bread dimension, not this one.

EXTS-COR-521: Dead; Reconstructed as EXTS-COR-DR-522.

PRH-897: Nope, all characters would be genderswapped and adults.

FAL-OU-34: This one sounds like Omega Ultra's "Finding A Loud" fanfiction. This was a great story and could possibly be the one.

KRM-550: A dimension where karma exists. It is not this one. Just imagine if SCP-296-EN had domain over the entire planet! How would criminals be punished? Oh, it would be just like having SCP-3922-EN on constant guard! Sophia now has the urge to watch Avengers: Endgame again.

DFL-998: Not this one, how could this "Lincoln" hear all of the music artists' songs if he's deaf? But she's not going to lie, this dimension really had her in the first half. It was just a prank, sis! The camera is right over there!

MTD-SL-16: This Sounds like MrTyeDye's "Shrinkin' Lincoln" fanfiction. Ah, I remember this…it was so heartwarmingly adorable, just like the rest of his fanfictions.

A-113: The Pixar dimension? No, this is just Omega Ultra's studio. Didn't an O5-9 say this is the dimension where his friend got kicked in the testicles and it was hilarious? Well, this a "real world" dimension, so this is not it. Although it was kind of funny that a little bit of KRM-550 traveled into A-113.

And these are just the ones by one unwitting writer. Thanks, Omega! Why is it that writers all have godlike powers to create dimensions and stop and start them at will? Sigh, at this rate it will take hours to sift through all Loud House dimensions!

* * *

"You know, I can just tell it to you."

Sophia turns around and sees a humanoid entity, androgynous yes, but it prefers to be called a male. It promptly shifts into a nightmarish abomination, similar to Blackbird, or maybe a Tokyo ghoul. Japan is getting attacked by strange things on the daily, it seems. The entity appears to be 21 and has no name.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the O5-9 of the dimension you're looking for, TLH-SCP-PTB-1415. Pleasure to meet you, Doctor Sophia Light of dimension SCP-PRM-001."

"SCP-PRM-001?"

"The prime "canon" of your dimension. See, the SCP Foundation has 36 different canons as of now, and you are the O5-2 of the "Prime canon", other canons are the Apotheosis canon, the Broken Masquerade canon, The Coldest War canon, the Competitive Eschatology canon, the Resurrection canon etc."

"Are you from that dimension?"

"No, I am from EXTS-411. But even though I am O5-9, I have your dimension hopping anomaly. Personally, the braindead idiot writing this fanfiction decided to include me instead of my cooler EXTS-COR-DR-522 counterpart."

"How do you know about the beings beyond the veil?"

"Because the Exotos135 of EXTS-COR-DR-522 has the power of Deus Ex Machina. Naturally, he taught all of his counterparts this fourth wall ability, and since I was the first one available, I'm the second one with this anomaly! Although, there are only two of us confirmed to exist currently, I'm sure the rest of us are in hiding. There should be around 600 of us in existence at the moment. Me and him, we're like Cain and Abel. He's the cool one and I'm the loser that follows in his footsteps."

O5-9 looks confused.

"So, uh…you're not freaking out that everything you've ever known was a lie?"

"No, Ben already told me. We're just supposed to follow the story and hope everything turns out ok in the end."

"Except it never does, does it?"

"No, but fighting the inevitable would lead to the narrative shifting dramatically from its end goal, and more often than not, it's for the worse."

"There is no good, there is no evil."

"This is the way it ends."

"By the way, in every SCP canon, no one knows what SCP-001 is. It's a constant theme within them all. Personally, I think that 001 is an infohazardous antimemetic anomaly that functions similarly to SCP-055-EN and that every proposal ever made is one of its infohazards, protecting whatever 001 truly is. No one has known, will know or will ever have known what 001 is. Considering one of its proposals makes it that 001 is really SCP-184-EN, it being SCP-055-EN doesn't sound too crazy, does it?"

"That makes too much sense."

"Well, it's nice to meet you. I need to head back to that dimension to see what happens next. Anyways, all of the anomalies that you're missing are in that dimension and all anomalies are from the prime canon."

O5-9 leaves this dimension.

* * *

"All anomalies are in TLH-SCP-PTB-1415…it may be time to release project "Wings of Hope". This has to be a covert operation…if we send Hammer Down to recover entities like 096-EN and 106-EN, mass hysteria would ensure and an IK class global civilization collapse scenario would be inevitable! We need a Thaumiel class to minimize suspicion…preferably a Black Wing. I think I have the perfect candidate.

O5-2 calls someone.

"Connect me to Site-17."

"WARNING SITE-17 CURRENTLY IN LOCKDOWN, PROCEED?"

"Yes."

"Confirm identity."

"Doctor Sophia Light."

"WARNING: IMPERSONATING AN O5 COUNCIL MEMBER IS PUNISHABLE BY IMMEDATE TERMINATION. IF THIS WAS MADE IN ERROR, HIT CANCEL WITHIN 60 SECONDS, OTHERWISE THE RED RIGHT HAND WILL HAVE NO QUALMS REDDINING THEIR HANDS FURTHER. WHAT IS YOUR CODE PHRASE?"

"They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and, in their rebellion, appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore, you did not desert them."

"To ensure you are not an SCP-939-EN instance, submit to biometric ocular scanner."

She lets the fancy telephone take her eye scan.

"Identity confirmed. Welcome O5-2."

"Patch me through to Doctor Kondraki."

…

"Yeah?" A gruff voice can be heard on the other side

"Kondraki, has Double finished her training?"

"Yeah, she is now a Black Wing, why?"

"096-EN has escaped into another dimension and I'm planning to send a Thaumiel to recapture it covertly."

"Wait, 096-EN escaped?!"

"Yes, I need someone to recapture it without having the entire world having a spotlight on them! That's why I didn't send any MTFs."

"Uh, I hate to question your authority, but why her? Isn't there anyone else you could send?"

"Not really. Most Thaumiels are concepts and not people. SCP-3480-EN might be an exception, but all the reality warpers there contain that very phenomena, so it's not like we can borrow them. Besides, 3480-2-ENs are kind of…biologically defective."

"Sigh, I guess we don't really have a choice. I'll send her to you."

"Don't worry. I'll go over there."

* * *

O5-2 hangs up and teleports to Site-17. She heads over to Double's containment chamber.

"Hey, Double. How are you doing?"

"Better. These goggles have worked wonders! I can see food as delicious and not as literal fecal matter! I never thought I would say this, but I'm glad I was chosen for this new "Wings of Hope" group that Konny said would benefit us."

"Yeah, I heard you passed your Black Wing training."

"He told you? Yeah, it was kind of difficult. Honestly, when he brought Ε11 members, I thought anomalies were going to be terminated. He said they were my training officers. I still don't really trust them, though. But I guess I should be grateful that I have their respect so that they don't shoot me on sight."

"Yeah it was either join this program or work with Doctor Gears to see if we can keep those harder to contain anomalies in check."

"I can safely say I made the right choice."

"Well, you got your first assignment."

"What is it, O5-2?"

"SCP-096-EN. He's escaped and we need to recapture him."

"So, why do you need me? Don't you have a giant military to terminate it?"

"SCP-096-EN is almost indestructible! Besides, if we send an entire military to capture it, people will get suspicious about why the military is there. That's why we need you. One person will attract much less attention than an entire military operation. All you need to contain 096-EN is a paper bag. Put it on its face so no one can see it. We'll also give you a military grade EMP to take out the electrical grid in case anyone records its face."

"Understood."

"096-EN is in dimension TLH-SCP-PTB-1415. Once you're ready, I'll open a portal to send you there."

O5-2 gives her what appears to be a walkie talkie.

"This is an interdimensional communicator, once you've gotten SCP-096-EN in containment, call me on this so I can create a gateway to retrieve you."

"Ok…I'm ready."

The military grade EMP is handed to her, as well as a paper bag to put on its face. Sophia opens up the gateway to dimension TLH-SCP-PTB-1415.

"I have a contact in this dimension, try finding her if you can, but don't forget your primary directive."

Double enters the portal and appears in a strange comic book like world. It appears to be nighttime right now.

* * *

"I suppose I should find Sophia's contact. Maybe they'll know where SCP-096-EN is."

She scans the street.

"Franklin Avenue, huh. I guess I should ask around."

Someone gets a call from somewhere.

"Oh, Sophia. What can I do for you?"

"Several of our SCPs have leaked into you dimension. I've sent someone to try and contact you about the situation. Be on the lookout. The person I sent is a female in what looks like riot control gear, so she shouldn't be too hard to spot."

A knock is heard at the door.

"That might be her."

The call ends.

The parents answer the door and see a woman in what looks riot control gear.

"Sorry to bother you folks, but my boss said she has a contact in this dimension. She said she might have information on an anomaly we're trying to recapture."

"Uh, no. I don't think we have anyone like that here."

"Hmm, well Lisa might be who you're looking for. She has been getting into some classified secrets with all of this anomalous craziness going on." Lincoln interjects

"Are you Lisa?"

"No, my name is Rita. Lisa is our 4-year-old daughter."

"Hmm, maybe the contact isn't in here. But I have watched over an 8-year-old with a reality warping anomaly. I'll give her a chance. Which room is she in?"

"Up the stairs, turn right twice."

"Thanks."

The agent goes up toward Lisa's room.

"Who are you?"

"I am agent Double from the Foundation's Black Wing division. I assume O5-2 has briefed you on the situation?"

The rest of the Loud family approaches the two contacts.

"Yes, SCPs are leaking through those Anomalous Bursts!" Lola blurts out

"And one of the most dangerous ones has just [DATA EXPUNGED] some idiot was looking for Hillary Rodham Clinton in the Chappaqua woods! It's actually a good thing the anomaly killed him, because if the idiot recorded its face and say a "news source" like CNN plasters it everywhere for ratings, an XK class scenario would happen!" Lori comments, having seen a news article on the subject

"Wait, you don't mean…?!"

"The one that escaped this time…was SCP-096-EN, Codename: The Shy Guy, Object Class: Super Euclid, Threat Level: Red, Special Properties: Photoptic Hazard, Compulsory, Relativistic, Violent."

"How can you capture something you can't see?"

"By putting a paper bag over its head. But just in case, I have a weapons grade EMP generator to take out all of New York's power grid. It might make news headlines, but it's better than having a few million people dead from 096-EN. I call it Operation Mitternacht."

Leni and Sigurrós return from their daily training regimen.

"I can teleport you to the woods, but it's one way. You'll have to find a way to transport that thing without attracting any attention." Sigurrós notes

"Sig? How did you get here?"

"Same way all the others escaped. Through the bursts."

"Shouldn't Site-17 be on lockdown? Especially after I-239-B-CK."

"Hey, Doctor Clef started that incident first!"

"Well, it's nice to see you not in a coma."

"It's nice to see you too, god-auntie Double."

SCP-239-EN generates a portal. Agent Double steps through.

"Operation Mitre Knocked?" Leni questions

"No, Leni. Mitternacht. It's German for "Midnight"." Lisa corrects

"I should help her, SCP-096-EN is super dangerous! I can poof him out of existence!"

"It wouldn't work. SCP-096-EN can break the laws of physics, gravity and reality itself to kill its target! It's like Liam Neeson in Taken. It will find you and it will kill you."

* * *

Agent Double appears to be near the entrance to the Chappaqua Woods. This is the prime hunting ground for people trying to find Hillary Clinton, and according to a news report, someone died trying to find Hillary. If only she knew about the 2 bullets to the back of the head suicides that happen when people deal with the Clintons…but she has a mission. To recover SCP-096-EN and make sure it doesn't kill any more people!

Heading into the nocturne groves of evergreen copses, she pushes forward into the deep alcoves of the forest. She thinks she might be getting close to the gangly dude. Proceeding to the center of the Chappaqua woods, she finds a pale, emaciated, 8-foot-tall creature. She's going to have to rely on her senses to not get [DATA EXPUNGED] by it.

"Midnight."

She activates the generator, just to be sure any idiot that wanders in here can't record SCP-096-EN's face. A massive EMP pulse travels across New York and disrupts the electrical grid.

She then focuses on the pale killer and sets her goggles to blind mode. She uses her advanced proprioception skills that she learned from her Foundation training to bag the creature's face. She walks behind a group of trees to see if she bagged it right and…

She did it. SCP-096-ENs face is covered by the bag.

"Sophia, it's Double. I've bagged its face. Send a recovery portal to TLH-SCP-PTB-1415's Chappaqua Woods' Depths."

"Understood. Congratulations."

A gateway opens up and she leads 096-EN through the portal. Back at the Foundation, a swarm of armed MTFs take 096-EN back into its containment cell. Finally, one of the deadliest SCPs in existence has been recontained. But now what? The bursts are still accelerating, dropping things from other dimensions into completely different ones. What can they do about it? Can anything be done about it?

* * *

**Author's Note: Ok, here's the full list of SCP alternate canons and their designations.**

**SCP-PRM-001: Prime Canon  
SCP-WLDWST-002: Aces and Eights  
SCP-RECH4THESTRS-003: Ad Astra per Aspera  
SCP-PLYGN-004: AIAD  
SCP-ICEMPIRE-005: The Antarctic Exchange  
SCP-ANCNTNTITI-006: Apotheosis  
SCP-AFTRMATH-007: Bellerverse  
SCP-ANOMLOSMRGE-008: Broken Masquerade  
SCP-HIDAWY-009: Codename: Green King  
SCP-RUSNFREVR-010: The Coldest War  
SCP-GRNDFNLE-011: Competitive Eschatology  
SCP-APRLFLS-012: Cool War 2: Ruiz From Your Grave  
SCP-HIERCALING-013: Doctors of the Church  
SCP-CLWNNITMRE-014: Dread and Circuses  
SCP-YWNTUDIE-015: End of Death  
SCP-UPNTHEHORIZN-016: Et Tam Deum Petivi  
SCP-AZTH-017: The Foundation Alchemy Department  
SCP-ANOMLOSGNOCDE-018: Global Occult Coalition Casefiles  
SCP-HUMNLVS-019: The Gulf  
SCP-FLSPRADS-020: lolFoundation  
SCP-NTHINTHRE-021: The Man Who Wasn't There  
SCP-SPCFARER-022: The Old Man in The Sea  
SCP-SKULCRAKR-023: On Mount Golgotha  
SCP-FRUNKOWN-024: Only Game In Town  
SCP-ALNTKOVR-025: Project Heimdall  
SCP-UNSTBLRELITY-026: Rat's Nest  
SCP-STLHPE-027: Resurrection  
SCP-NVIRMENTLDCY-028: S & C Plastics  
SCP-KNDRKI-029: Ship In A Bottle  
SCP-ANMENSANITY-030: Stealing Solidarity  
SCP-ACRSTHESTRS-031: Straight On Till Morning  
SCP-CLDORSHLD-032: Third Law  
SCP-PCIFCNRTHWST-033: Those Twisted Pines  
SCP-JSTENDIT-034: The Trashfire  
SCP-RWETHEBADGYS-035: Unfounded  
SCP-THETRUGRTWAR-036: War On All Fronts  
SCP-ALLUP2U-037: What a Wonderful World  
**


	22. Antelude 2: International Affairs

**Warning: Possible spoilers for Danganronpa V3 and Eeveelution Squad. Reader's discretion is advised.**

**You didn't think that only the USA got affected by the Anomalous Bursts, did you?**

We appear to be peering into a strange building. It appears to be nighttime in a cold, depressing place overcast by smog. Yep, we must be in London. Inside the skyscraper, we see an advertisement for what appears to be a law firm…picking up one of the business cards, their modus operandi is emblazoned on it.

Why dae rich people care about making bees and honey?

Strange, it appears to be a fusion of Scottish and Cockney…the familiar logo catches your eye.

MC&D Ltd.

Marshall, Carter and Dark…a major GOI within the 36 alternate Foundation canons. They are to anomalous objects as Google is to search results. A means to an end, a way to make a monopoly and a way to control the proletariat and bourgeoisie through their acquisition of the anomalous. Those clever bastards…they know that the rich with hobnob with the other rich people and brag about this cool thing that they bought that they don't really know what it does, but all that matters is that they have it and you don't, therefore, they are better than you. And the only winner of this game is Marshall, Carter and Dark.

"Places everyone."

It appears one of their famous anomalous auctions is occurring. We don't want to miss the entertainment. A massive assortment of strange objects are up for auction, but hearing rich people and undercover Foundation agents vying for these weird things tires you. But, one of the objects catches your eye.

"Item #877829. This is a grand piano, made of oak and placed within a sleek black metal framework. The keys are inlaid with the purest ivory, the inner strings made with reinforced steel wire that is nearly impossible to break, unlike your grandson's guitar when he tried starting a band."

The rich people laugh at this attempt at humor.

"Now, Carter, I hear you bourgeoisie types saying. This is Marshall, Carter and Dark, don't these things have anomalous? It is what you're known for, after all. Not to worry, for this object has an anomaly. According to our anonymous source, this can teleport you into the future. Before you buy, he said it's a one-way trip. We did not have enough time to determine what cause the anomalous effect, but just to prove to you that this piano is of working condition, we have a maestro playing a little ditty for you.

The maestro begins playing a catchy little tune.

E flat, D flat, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, B flat-F sharp, D flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, D flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, D flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, B-F, E flat, B-F, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, B flat, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, B flat, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, B flat, B flat-F sharp, D flat, B flat-F sharp, E flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, E flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, E flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, E flat, B-F, D flat, B-F, B flat, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, D flat, B flat-F sharp, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, D flat, B flat-F sharp, F sharp, F, F sharp, G, A flat, B-F, D flat, B-F, A flat, B-F, D flat, B-F, A flat, B-F, D flat, B-F, A flat, G, A flat, F, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, D flat, B flat-F sharp, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp

The rich people applaud.

A piano that can time travel? Now you've heard everything. Still, you see the end result of the auction. Some rich Japanese man bought it for around 30 million yen, or around $280,650 in US dollars. Meh, at least you saw how an auction worked…kind of. It was just a bunch of rich people begging MC&D to take their money. It's kind of pathetic, really.

Anyways, that Japanese man tried to activated its "time travel" anomaly, but he never got it to work quite right. So, he offloaded it to some school so that any aspiring pianists could use it. If only he checked where he sent it to.

* * *

**The following after action report was translated into English for the filthy gaijin that don't understand or can't speak Japanese. You're so lucky that the Japanese branch of the Foundation was ever so gracious to translate this for you.**

"I won't let your wish go ungranted."

That was on 2017 January 12…that old piano was thrown out in case so happy go lucky "hero" tried to find it (even though seeing his dead friend's corpse might give him even more despair, but whatever, that's pedantic). It has been about 3 years since that day…an Anomalous Burst appears under a piano in a landfill somewhere in the Tokyo Prefecture.

"It's time to wake up." An unknown voice says to the piano

A young girl's eyes slowly open, as the cyanosis from her skin recedes. The gashes from when those…things tried to lapidate her, as well as the ligature marks from the piano wires begin healing. She tries maneuvering under the steel wires…she does so. As she attacks the piano cover, she manages to budge the lid open. She quickly maneuvers the holding stick in place so the lid doesn't crush her to death. She manages to roll out of the piano.

"Where am I?"

"Akasaka, Minato, Tokyo, Japan." The voice responds

"What year is it?"

"Late 2019."

"So…I?"

"Congratulations, lady. You time traveled almost 3 years into the future!"

"Time travel?"

"Yeah, honestly; You should be dead right now. I'm not sure how you're still alive."

"Is anyone I know still alive?"

"Yeah actually, head to Akasaka Tameike Tower 2-17-7 Akasaka Minato-Ku, 107-0052 Japan, and you might find some answers."

With no leads to go on, she proceeds to head towards the tower. All while looking at the splendor of her home country.

"A lot has changed in 3 years…"

Passing through a rainbow aura, she feels ever so determined to find out what has happened since she…uh…died? It's kind of hard to explain. People just don't stop "being dead" and zombies don't count, those are fake news! She spots a random Japanese youth gaming on his laptop. It appears to be a rhythm game of some sort.

"Hey, what are you playing?"

"Oh, it some rhythm game…I think it was called Just Shapes and Beats. I heard it was made by some people in Canada. And…"

"Son of a bitch!"

She looks shocked.

"Not you, I fucking died on "Termination Shock" again. Why'd the developers put the hardest level in the entire game as the eighth one in story mode?! I even managed to S-Rank Mortal Kombat in challenge mode! Why is this one so difficult?!"

She can hear the poor kid having a conniption, but she can also hear the sweet tunes of the destroyer's music. Even though Termination Shock will destroy that kid's sanity, she has to admit, its pretty good music.

Now that she thinks about it, she can hear all sorts of wonderous music. Of course, music can be heard all over, but she feels…a special connection to music. Of course, she was a master pianist, so maybe she's just more inclined to feel this sort of thing.

"Come on, pick up…"

She tries calling her mom, dad and sister. All of them had no response.

"Sigh. I guess I'm all alone here."

Arriving at the Akasaka Tameike Tower, she finds that the entrance to the building is guarded by a bouncer of some sort. Why would Starbucks of all people need bouncers? Then it hits her.

Tameike Tower only has the Starbucks on the first floor. What secrets could it be hiding on the upper floors. She approaches the bouncer and is shocked to find that he looks exactly like…

"Shuichi?! Is that really you?"

"Huh?"

The detective looks at the girl and turns a ghostly white. No, it can't be! They all saw her die! This must be a nightmare! Or a cosplayer! Not sure which would be the worse option in this situation…

"No…this must be some sort of sick joke! You aren't the real one! The real one was executed in front of our eyes! Disgusting cosplayer! How dare you toy with my emotions! Kaede Akamatsu is dead and always has been since 2017 January 12!"

While the right question in this scenario is how Shuichi even managed to get into this dimension's version of Japan, there's a more pressing issue at hand. A sickly miasma of purplish goo overtakes him.

"Is that…?"

"You know, I thought maybe that bastard robo-bear was lying. That this was all some elaborate sleight of hand bullshit. Didn't you tell me yourself that I had to carry on your wish? Am I just a pawn in your schemes, Naede? You're no better than that cosplaying bitch that orchestrated everything! She killed nearly all of my friends in her sick game! You claim to be a symbol of hope?!"

The inky purplish stuff completely covers him, turning him into a purplish mass that appears to be outputting a mild cognitohazardous effect! Does this mean Shuichi is an SCP now?

Suddenly, five Monokuma bots join in on the battle!

"I am Misanthropy! I am everything that she couldn't be! I am now the very essence of despair! Say goodnight, Kaede! Because the precious student you loved so much is no more! Now **DIE**!"

A myriad of musical instrumentals overtakes Kaede. She knows she can't kill him. Maybe…maybe there's another way to save Shuichi from his despair! She hears a wonderous tone that begins to play from the tower's seventh floor. It brings back nostalgic memories. A song that can break through even the darkest depths of despair…a song of hope. She begins harmonizing with the song.

"Grr, Monokuma bots, kill that annoying brat!"

The Monokuma bots attempt to attack Kaede, but it appears the song is short circuiting them!

"Their despair cores are being shorted out! Fine then, take these, bitch!"

Misanthropy flings off purplish balls of pure despair at her, Kaede simply just dodges them.

"Grr, what is this feeling? Sadness? Hope? No, this won't end here!"

Misanthropy pounds the ground, causing spiky precipices of pure despair to rush toward Kaede. She manages to weaken the blast, but she gets hurt by the despair wave. All it does is shift the tone of the song down a few octaves, but as soon as the song weakens the despair, the pitch of the song rises back up! The purple goo is dissipating off of Shuichi's body!

Meanwhile, on the seventh floor…

"Sir, the despair reactors are overloading! A massive wave of despair is being generated! The reactor cores can't take it!"

"What is causing the reactors to malfunction?! I'm going to check it out!"

"We did get all the despair from that Canadian hockey game. It was practically a riot over there. Maybe the concentrated Canadian despair gummed up the reactors since Canadian despair builds up over time?"

The man heads down the tower to see what's going on.

"Please, I don't want to be reminded of her again…"

"I don't want to lose her."

"Stop it!"

"Kaede…"

The despair goo leaves Shuichi completely. Kaede runs toward him.

"Shuichi, are you okay?!"

"Kaede…is it really you?"

"Yeah…it's me."

"How did you survive?!"

"Honestly, I don't know. But does it matter?"

"I guess not."

The man runs down to see the two students reconcile.

"No, you should be dead! How are you still here?!"

The two of them back away from the man.

"The narrative! You've broken the narrative! I have it in my script that Kaede Akamatsu is to be executed by both lapidation and strangulation from a piano on 2017 January 12! You! Should! Be! Dead!"

An inconceivable amount of despair rushes over the students. Kaede's heart is shown cracking a little from the sheer power of the despair emanating off that man!

"The narrative must be restored!"

He holds up a noose that he just tied together while he was raving like a lunatic.

"Alright, Kaede. Get in!"

Silence.

"Ok, you little brat! Since my creation won't die willingly, I'm just going to have to kill you myself! And by that, I mean, I'm going make my new employee do it for me. Hero syndrome, you're up!"

A black-haired woman, clad in military gear descends the tower and stands at the man's side. She appears to be carrying an assault rifle, maybe an AR33, a high-powered rifle, possible a Howa type 89, and an RPG launcher. How'd she not get arrested for holding firearms in crowded building?!

"General Kodaka, what are your orders?"

"Ah, please execute that girl, Ms. Ikusaba. She's wanted for the crime of destabilizing a narrative. Try not to hit our detective…let's say that he's a hostage suffering from Stockholm Syndrome."

"Trying to change narratives, huh? I remember when I tried that."

She shouts to Kaede.

"You're wasting your time, kid! You can't change fate! I'm the hero and you are the bad guy! Mr. Kodaka told me."

"You see, this is SCP-2786-EN…she escaped from some bad scientists trying to experiment on her, so I took her in and gave her a job as internal security. She's ruthlessly efficient. It's her dream to be a hero, and well, she is to us!"

The soldier takes out a knife and charges her. Kaede dodges the first strike deftly! She needs something to defend with…she could tap into a song to save Shuichi, so maybe she can find a song to increase her defensive capabilities!

"It's over, Ms. Akamatsu. I have the high ground!"

She stares at the SCP turned soldier and can tap into the inherent music surrounding her.

"This is going to be a sweet victory for Mr. Kodaka!"

Sweet Victory? What a great idea! Kaede taps into the musicality of that song and…

"**Die!**"

The knife breaks off on her skin!

"Huh? How are you knife-proof?! Well, it doesn't matter. I don't need knives!"

"BECAUSE I'VE GOT BULLETS INSTEAD!"

She gets out her AR33 and begins laying waste to Kaede. The bullets don't even pierce her body, they just bounce off!

"What?! Die already!"

She throws a grenade at her, Mr. Kodaka notices this.

"Are you crazy, Mukuro?! There are civilians around! Kill only Kaede! No other casualties!"

The grenade detonates on her. Only mild injures were received during the explosion.

"Ok, ok. This is getting stupid now. Mukuro, come back. I have an idea…if she gets her anomaly through music…I think it's time to send in the drones."

Suddenly, two military drones fly overhead!

"Don't you understand?! You're sieging the base! Team Danganronpa is within the Spike Chunsoft offices on the seventh floor of this tower! I am Kazutaka Kodaka, the orchestrator of the Tragedy! I am the dignitary of despair and all the cultists bow down to me! Your hope can't begin to win against Ultimate Despair!"

The Japanese populace look at the drones flying overhead.

"These are neutered forms of the QROY-66 SENSOR and the QFMX-69 SICKLE drones that Japan and the US are brokering a deal over. They're trying a joint operation to remove Kim Jong Un from power by using the QFMX-69 SICKLE to search and destroy the supreme leader. Declassified documents have confirmed that Kim Jong Un is literally too fat to be assassinated through normal means. Stabbing him to death wouldn't work. His fat ass would absorb all the knife slashes before they strike something important. Shooting him will have his blubber deflect the bullet and it will kill you instead! That's even suggesting that an assassin can even get through his elite security team. At this point, they're just waiting for a heart attack to kill him."

Uh, ok then…

"Anyways. Our QR-66 OVERCAST and QX-69 BLOODLUST were purchased as part of a marketing campaign for Danganronpa V4. They may be slightly less dangerous than their military counterparts, but they can still kill you, Kaede. As for the rest of you, evacuate! It's going to get messy here!"

The Japanese citizens take the hint and get away from the area. The drones are practically above the tower now!

"Well Kaede, it looks like your life light will snuffed out soon. Any music recommendations for your funeral?"

"Actually, yes!"

A familiar track can be heard from within the tower. Spike Chunsoft is a video game company, so no surprise there, but this one sounds way too electronic for a Danganronpa track. It sounds video game-y, retro and 8-bit.

"Get Masafumi Takada down here, and make sure he has his music production equipment!"

"Right away, sir."

SCP-2786-EN runs to get him.

A strange pink construct begins forming outside. It appears to be a spaceship of some sort. All the pixels begin slotting themselves into place. It's quite a good thing this is happening, because Kaede is definitely going to need some cheat codes to go up against the man, myth and legendary creator and progenitor of despair, Kazutaka Kodaka!

"No cheat codes for this game! Kaede Akamatsu, your game is over!"

Mr. Takada gets to the ground floor with his music equipment.

"Hit it, Mr. Takada!"

He begins generating a catchy retro tune to counteract Kaede's catchy retro tune.

"This feedback loop should stop her plans! Drones, move into execution position!"

The QX-69 bares its weaponry at the young girl.

"I don't have any coins to continue. I have to win against the company of despair and shut down their operations here and now! Where's the police when you need them?"

"It's over! Accept your fate and let the narrative repair itself!"

Of course, if Shuichi dies, it will also fuck up the narrative, but Kaede has to die to fix it!

"It's not over."

"Huh?"

"It's not over… 'till it's over!"

A new musical song appears! Kaede immediately harmonizes with it. She feels empowered, like she can do anything!"

"You protected me then…it's my turn to protect you."

ヱ ドンツ カレ ワツ タエ サ  
ヱ リル ベ ヘレ アル ダ  
ヱ リル スタ ヘレ チル イツ オヴア  
チル テ ヲルツ オウツ オフ シツ  
ヱ リル スタンヅ ヱ リル ヴイツ  
イツ ノツ オヴア チル イツ オヴア

A massive energy spike is detected from Kaede. She's surrounded by a glorious blue aura. When the bass drops, Kaede emits powerful EMP bursts to down the drones.

"Grr! Fire on Kaede!"

The pilot tries to fire a missile at her. Kaede instinctively jumps on Shuichi to protective from the resulting explosion.

"No! If he dies, the narrative will be irreparably damaged!"

The smoke clears and both of them are miraculously unharmed!

"What, that's impossible! You should be a blood splatter on the street! How could you survive a fucking drone strike?!"

Both of them are surrounded by a blue aura. The drones begin stalling from the EMP blasts. The pilots are forced to eject!

"No, my drones! Those cost 250 million yen each!"

SCP-2786-EN hears Mr. Kodaka lament about the drones and rejoins the fight.

"Mr. Kodaka. I'll finish this!"

SCP-2786-EN shapeshifts into (what she believes is) the true hero of the Danganronpa franchise, Junko Enoshima. Of course, anyone who's ever heard of the games know that she's the Ultimate Evil, but she forgot one thing.

The weapons dematerialize now that she is Junko. Junko's special ability is master manipulation, luring hapless victims into deathtraps. And she's planning on facing both V3 protagonists at the same time?! That plan is just as crazy as Junko herself!

"I don't need weapons! I'll kill that bitch with my bare hands!"

An allegro, discordant version of "Battle Against a True Hero" is heard playing, but it gets smothered by "Till it's Over"!

アス イ ヴエル ト テ オチアン フロル  
ヴアヂング リツ ツロ アン オペン ドル  
サウ ミセフル リセ ヰツ テ ワタ  
テ トウオツ テ クヅ キプ ミ ドウン  
ホルヅ ミ ブレト アンヅ ワツチ ミ ヅロウン  
ブツ アル テ ヂヅ ハス プシュヅ ミ ヒア

ヱ ドンツ カレ ワツ タエ サ  
ヱ リル ベ ヘレ アル ダ  
ヱ リル スタ ヘレ チル イツ オヴア  
チル テ ヲルツ オウツ オフ シツ  
ヱ リル スタンヅ ヱ リル ヴイツ  
イツ ノツ オヴア チル イツ オヴア

ツロ テ ニツ アンヅ テ ライヌ  
ツロ テ チム アンヅ テ パイヌ  
ヱ リル スタンド, ヱ リル ネヴア ヴアル  
アンヅ テン アツ テ エンヅ オフ イツ アル  
ヱ リル ヰン, ヱ リル チュアンツ  
イツ ノツ オヴア チル イツ オヴア

True to the song, it begins raining as soon as rain is mentioned. The police finally show up, since a few of them heard a fucking missile strike near a populated area. Kaede notices the cops and stops fighting. The police see that the Junko lookalike is strangling a defenseless Japanese citizen and rush to their aid. The Foundation is also there to recover SCP-2786-EN, since they are aware of its escape.

The police arrest SCP-2786-EN and Kazutaka Kodaka for attempted murder. He got extremely lucky the place was evacuated before the drone strike or a lot of people would've died! The police raid the seventh floor and find some despair cultist stuff, as well as plans for Danganronpa V4. Huh, I thought that would be in Area 51, along with Half-Life 3 and Shrek 5.

The Foundation were able to extradite SCP-2786-EN back into Foundation custody.

"And that's how everything happened."

"Right. Now Ms. Akamatsu, you do realize you're a prisoner here, right?"

"Not really, you Foundation types will classify me as Euclid and I'll be shoved into some site, where you might experiment on me."

Awkward silence fills the room…Kaede eventually speaks up.

"Can I at least visit my friend? We haven't seen each other in 3 years."

"Not my call. The O5 Council deliberates that sort of stuff."

"Hmm. Why is my room soundproof?"

"Because of your anomaly."

"If my anomaly is sound based, they why did you put a piano in it?"

"Classical music has been approved. More tests are pending. Besides, some of the staff are Danganronpa fans, and they already know that you play piano."

"Thanks, Mrs. Kai."

"No, Kaede. Thank you."

Mrs. Kai leaves the interview room as an MTF soldier escorts her back to her room. They also left a laptop in there in case she gets bored playing the piano. She begins drafting a document.

Item #: SCP-2016-JP

Object Class: Apollyon

Threat level: Red

Special containment procedures: Subject is contained in a soundproof 9 ft by 9 ft by 9 ft room. There is a piano and laptop within the room for her amusement.

Description: SCP-2016-JP appears to be the Danganronpa character Kaede Akamatsu. In keeping with the theme of the games, she appears to have mastery over piano playing.

Psychological testing shows that she is considered a misanthrope. However, upon recovery, she did show concern for a Shuichi Saihara (another Danganronpa character, pending classification as an SCP) during their battle against Danganronpa creator and despair cultist leader Kazutaka Kodaka. In an interview with Mr. Kodaka from Fuchū Prison, he said that he created her with a misanthropic personality, but when it was time for the 3rd killing game to be played, all the contestants' memories were wiped and implanted with false ones to make the "audience" more attached to them. A PSIA agent has notified us that Kodaka had said in response to Japanese police calling him a sick fuck for orchestrating the killing games for twisted amusement; "Who's the sick fuck? Me for creating the game, or the contestants for volunteering to enter a game that specifically says that you're going to possibly get killed?!"

Her primary anomalous trait is that she can "feel music" within the Earth. She states that all music has some sort of power she can see and access if she wants to. In an example, she specifically states that the legendary rock song "Sweet Victory" by David Glen Eisley made her bulletproof and knife-proof. Further testing with this song reveals that when accessing this song's musicality, SCP-2016-JP's skin and hair become as hard as SCP-682-EN's scales! It appears to promote keratinous durability for as long as the song is active. Further experimentation on different songs are required.

Her secondary anomalous trait is that she can sometimes "harmonize" with tracks. This harmonization is uncontrollable and causes SCP-2016-JP some distress, depending on what song is playing. Testing with the song "Termination Shock" by UK artist Ashley Charles, known by his stage name, Sabrepulse, resulted in 15 casualties. This is the reason why she is classified Apollyon. If she harmonizes with an…unsavory track, say Destroid 8 Annihilate by Jeff Abel, AKA Excision (ft Far Too Loud), she could take down an entire country! She says she detests dubstep, so this would be entirely involuntary, as Excision specializes in heavy metal/dubstep hybrid instrumentals.

SCP-2016-JP is not malicious or hostile in any way, shape or form. Her personality is friendly and amiable to anyone she comes across. Whether or not they are other anomalies or Foundation staff. However, she must still be classified as Apollyon.

And that is the end of the Japanese gaiden story. But we have 3 more side stories to go, next up is the Cambodian gaiden story. So, here we go, off to Cambodia!

* * *

**Third Eye chakra activated! Gautama Buddha has blessed you with the ability to perceive Khmer and reinterpret it into English, but only while in Cambodia! **

We arrive in Cambodia. Specifically, the capital city of Phnom Penh. Glancing at the populace, it appears everyone has some sort of strange creature as a pet. They kind of look like Pokémon. How did this happen?

Cambodia has been bombarded by numerous Anomalous Bursts, it dropped a few rocks, a bunch of adorable looking fox dog things and a golden triangle. The triangle was evacuated to a research laboratory. Experimentation with the adorable creatures revealed that they have mystical abilities. Since the scientists can't explain this, there must only be one logical explanation. Gautama Buddha himself must have blessed his devout followers with these creatures! That totally makes sense! Those cracks must be gateways to Nirvana! It all makes so much sense now! Because of this, they built statues of the creatures…nine of them spread throughout Cambodia.

Eventually, they found out how to change the form of this creature. Scientists began mass producing special stones, a red crystalline basalt, a blue crystalline limestone and a yellow crystalline quartzite. People have also gotten three other forms of the creature by befriending it during brightest days and blackest nights, as well as making it affectionate and cute. The last two forms have adventurous types find a special rock to change its form. There are two moss covered rocks, one in the jungle, surrounded by swaths of landmines from the war; The other is somewhere in the Western Cardamom Mountains. The ice form of this creature is so rare that one who owns one is considered royalty! Because it is so rare, people tend to think people that have one must have not gotten it legitimately, or they did some science experiment to mutate its DNA or something. To get one legitimately, one needs to find a rock covered in glassy ice near the summit of Phnom Aural. Praying to the Buddha statue at the summit is optional, but they'd do it anyway to prove their loyalty to the faith.

We join our protagonist back at the capital city as he begins his journey to visit all eight of the statues. In keeping with the theme of Buddhism, each statue is connected to one of the noble eightfold paths, it is believed visiting all eight will bring oneself closer to enlightenment. He, along with his partner head toward the center of the capital city to find a statue of a fluffy looking creature with pointed ears and a bushy tail, as well as what looks like a scarf made from its fur. Under the statue, it reads:

"Your reality and my reality are not the same. To accept this is the right understanding of our world."

The first of the eight statues have been visited. He decides to head toward the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, where another of the statues is rumored to be. He enters this cursed place and see remnants of an atrocity passed, yet still fresh in the peoples' mind. He even saw a skull that tells us to remember. Remember the genocide, remember the landmines, remember the Killing Fields, remember the suffering…remember.

He makes it through the cursed place and in the garden outside is another statue. This one appears to be dressed up cutely with ribbons and bows on the top of its head and across its neck, with fleshy feelers attached at the neck and ears. It feels kind of offensive that the cute variant of Buddha's pet is at the end of _**a genocide museum **_but he must have his reasons. The second statue reads:

"Only by accepting the past can you nullify your inhibitions to create a better future."

On closer inspection, there appears to be graffiti on the statue. The graffiti reads:

Lê Đức Anh was here; Pol Pot is a loser!

Wow.

After seeing that insensitive historical hysteria, our protagonist heads off toward the research laboratory where the first experiments of these creatures first took place. After walking for a few hours, he arrives at the place where it all started. The third statue is just outside of the facility. The creature appears to be extremely spiky, having a spiky collar and spiked backside. The inscription under it says:

"What have we done? We tried to make humans become even better than they are through artificial means. Maybe you can be better than I can be. The right livelihood can be attained by not messing with the natural order of things."

Huh? Is there supposed to be a plot here?

Suddenly, a human with saffron and cyan highlights emerges outside. It looks like some sort of human alien hybrid. It forms a Terminator-esque blade from its DNA!

"Use Leaf Blade!"

Our protagonist's partner leaps into the air and its tail turns sharp to counter the hybrid's Night Slash.

"Electro Ball!"

One of those spiky creatures fires off a ball of electricity to paralyze the creature.

"Good job, Speed!"

One of the researchers comes out of the laboratory. He notices the protagonist.

"Get out of here! I'll deal with the hybrid!"

He doesn't need to be told twice. He runs out of there! Having gotten away from the strange hybrid, he begins to plot a course toward Siam Reap, since two of the statues are in Angkor Wat. It takes a few weeks, but he manages to get to the temple.

Exploring the vast complex, he stumbles around the temple for a few hours before finding one of the statues. This one is a rabbit like creature with rings on its limbs and on the top of its head. It has piercing red eyes. The statue's inscription says:

"Misfortune befalls one who does not speak their intentions clearly. Learn from my mistake and be of right speech so that you get what you deserve."

Great, he found one of the Angkor Wat statues…but the other one is on the other side of the complex. Fu-

Several hours later and he finds the second statue of Angkor Wat, as well as the fifth of the eighth statues. This statue is a sleek cat like creature with a forked tail and a red gem in its head. It has two tufts of fur under its ears. This statue's inscription reads:

"One should always strive toward their goals with his teachings in mind. This course is the right action."

He stumbles out of the complex and attempts to continue his journey, but is stopped by a team. They have two forms of the creature that our protagonist hasn't visited yet.

"Whoa, don't go this way! There are still landmines in the area! We're here to clear them. With my trusty partner, we'll blast these landmines apart!"

"And I'm here to put out the wildfires they'll inevitably start."

The landmine team escort him and his partner back onto the main road. He sets off toward another city. This one at the other end of the country. Kampot is said to have one of the statues.

Several more weeks later and he arrives in Kampot. He heads toward the beaches, maybe he'll find the water statue here. Near one of the beaches and covered in seagull poop is the sixth statue. It has flipper like ears, a cone like frill and a fin like spine running all the way down its body toward its fish like tail. This statue's inscription reads:

"My head is always in the clouds and it causes pain, yet lesson learned, no more refrain. Clear your head, no consternation, congratulations, you've achieved right concentration."

He sets off toward the Ratanakiri province. The volcano near lake Yeak Laom supposedly has the fire creature's statue. He once again goes cross country until he enters the province. He then asks for directions toward the volcano. Once there, he spots the statue of the fire creature. It has an ember like swirl of fur on its head along with a collar of fur around its neck. It also has the fluffiest tail of all the forms of the creature.

"I accept what has happened to me. Have you accepted everything that has happened within your life? All that matters is that we're here, in this moment."

And the last ones are in the Cardamom mountains. One in the west and one in the east. Crossing the country again, he makes it to the base of the western front and sees a creature similar to his partner. The creature has leaf like ears and large leafy tail. It has a green swirly pattern on its head, with vine like protrusions on its limbs, chest and neck. The inscription on this statue reads:

"Despite suffering all manner of hardship, you still persevered with an unbreakable attitude, never letting anything bother you. You have the right effort to achieve anything!"

Our protagonist heads to the eastern front of the mountains and sees a statue of the icy creature. The final inscription reads:

"You've gone on an incredible journey within yourself. Climb the mountain and ascend to Nirvana!"

He begins his ascent toward the icy peak. His partner tries to follow him, but he knows about the dangers of the mountain.

"No, Kaffir. You'll freeze to death at the summit. I can't let you suicide to see me succeed."

He leaves his partner behind, whimpering at the base, as he begins his ascent.

With his journey at an end, the Cambodian gaiden story is complete. Third is the Denmark gaiden story, although…this one is kind of weird story, as its not really a story at all, more of a "what happened" sort of description. Anyways, on with the third side story.

* * *

For our third "story" we pan over to Denmark, where…wait a minute…where's Denmark? I could have sworn it was on top of Germany here. Did something happen to Denmark? There is this strange tiny country that replaced it. What is it called, Krististan? No, that sounds stupid and we already have a European Muslim caliphate in Swedistan. Oh, I believe it was actually called Novoselic…but wait, isn't that only in some detective murder simulator visual novel game? And a stupider question, will there ever be a country named Cobain, after the Nirvana member, since that is what this country's name is referencing? So, apparently an Anomalous Burst Thanos snapped Denmark out of existence and replaced it with this country. The history books were changed too! Not to worry, Danes, for almost everything that happened up to this point stayed the same for the country.

Ok, this country is a fascistic oligarchy that supports Trump. I can hear the lefties REEE-ing already. In order to protect their tiny nation, everyone is required to enlist in the military, of which they have the strongest in Europe. The country itself is ruled by three royal families, the Bleichen family oversees the military and police force (so, literally the entire populace), the Nevermind family handles external affairs, such as diplomacy and tourism, lastly, the Livmoder family handles internal affairs such as legislation and judiciary processes.

Of course, this is all a lie.

Do you know why it's an oligarchy instead of a triarchy? Because Novoselic has a parliament, and like all parliaments, it's just a bunch or rich old white people bickering about trivial stuff and not actually getting anything done. Sonia, the princess of the Nevermind family has voiced her disdain for the parliament but all three families must be in agreement if they are to abolish the parliament. Everyone knows that the parliament has all the power…

Despite this, Novoselic is relatively laissez-faire. People do have the freedom to say anything they want and not get executed for it. The people of Novoselic also did what Hitler couldn't…get into art school. Most Novoselians are avid fans of the arts, and will while away hours discussing their favorite pieces. They can even appreciate good art made by bad people and bad art made by good people. They consider the Quran a piece of good art made by bad people because it inspired a bloodthirsty cult that will jihad the entire world or die trying, just look at how they raped Sweden! It's now Swedistan!

Yes, the Novoselians also are in a blood feud with the Swedistanis, just as the Danes and Swedes before them. The Novoselians are also against the Norwegians, but in that case, they act like a couple of college kids having fun over doing dumb shit, unlike the former example.

Just like Denmark before it, Novoselic's official language is Danish and they still have Greenland and the Faroe Islands. But those are considered unofficial tourist destinations. Novoselic just gets a 15% kickback fee for technically managing the places.

Despite looking like a totalitarian regime, it is nothing of the sort. In fact, the best way to get shot in Novoselic is calling the country "the European North Korea". You can talk shit about pretty much anything in the country. You can even call it a third world shithole that genocides its citizens daily, but you never call Novoselic "the European North Korea". That will trigger pretty much any citizen over there.

Regardless, it has strong ties with the Faroe Islands, Greenland, the US, Canada, the UK, Germany, Ukraine, Finland, Iceland, Norway, South Korea, Japan, Israel, Turkey, and bizarrely enough, Pakistan. It has neutral ties with all of South America, Central America, Mexico, Africa, Australia, the random scattered islands in the oceans, the former Soviet states and most of Asia. It is enemies with the European Union, the Middle East, Russia, China, North Korea and India.

Remember that UN Paris Accord that was signed? No, not the climate one, the anomalous task force one. Since Denmark signed it and Novoselic is basically Denmark now, that means they are a signer of the accord by proxy. Although, they would've signed it anyway, wanting to defend the planet from anomalies.

Differences between Denmark and Novoselic? Novoselians don't get their wallet raped harder than Swedistani women, since Denmark has a **56% tax rate** as well as a **25% sales tax**. Novoselic has a 10% flat tax on everything, and while it doesn't make as much money as the original Denmark, they at least get to keep most of it. Since there's less money, prices of stuff will go down to accommodate the lower amount of total money available. They also aren't being pumped full of soma from Huxley's Brave New World, so that's already a plus. Ironic that the "totalitarian" state has more freedoms than these globalist countries.

Why does the European Union hate Novoselic? Well, being a fascistic state that supports the Trumpian way of leadership triggers them. Novoselic also has locked down their borders even before the Mouslems unleashed jihad on Sweden and turned it into their caliphate. Rejecting diversity and not allowing your country to get jihaded by Mooslems? Well, you're just a racist bigot, Novoselic. They also pulled out of the European Union almost at the same time the UK did. The trigger for Novoselic leaving? It was when the EU passed their copyright directive on articles 11, 13 and 17. They saw it as an attack on free speech and creativity. The latter of which is very important to a country that values the arts, and in this day in age, memes, even the cringy ones, are an art form. So, they pulled out and now almost every EU member wants to annihilate them off the face of the Earth for rejecting globalism and Islamic jihadification of the Western world.

Novoselic is now the meme capital of Europe, unrestricted access to delicious and spicy memes since they refused to sign the directive. In fact, people actually change their VPNs to Novoselic to bypass the directive and it has the globalists fuming! Oh, and they have a plan to support Ukraine in case Russia tries to make Ukraine Mykraine again. Meme warfare. As soon as Russia invades Ukraine, their plan is to DDOS Moscow and send a barrage of pro Ukrainian memes to demoralize the Russian effort. An example would be posting a meme of SCP-516-EN, Intelligent Tank (a nationalistic Ukrainian tank, mind you) with the caption "This one tank can destroy all of Russia!". Most of them will go with the Pyrrhic victory route, most stating they could take Ukraine, but questioning how many bodies Russia will throw at it to get Ukraine under its control and demoralizing them that way. They also know and use hacker 4chan.

That's the end of the Denmark gaiden story, even though it was more of a "what happened to Denmark" sort of explanation. Last story is very short, it's the Argentinian gaiden story. Let's go.

* * *

"Because time can mend all wounds."

You've heard this description before.

Well, time won't save him.

He wanted to be a soccer star like his hero, Lionel Messi.

But he was diagnosed with an incurable disease.

Encephalosarcoma, a type of brain tumor, and it's already in stage 4.

Doctors could surgically remove the tumor, but it has already penetrated deep into the arachnoid mater of his brain.

He only has a few hours left to live.

For his last hours, he wanted to play soccer, to train to be good enough to be in the World Cup, like his hero!

We all know that would never happen in a few hours.

People from the Make A Wish Foundation volunteered to let him meet his hero, but he refused.

"I want to meet him at the World Cup, as a teammate."

His goal is admirable, but not realistic.

The screen pans out as we see him kicking field goals.

The camera stops on a bear made of patchwork.

We see its sign, it says: I'm sorry

The screen blacks out as a thud is heard.

* * *

**Tracks Featured: Der Flohwalzer by Artist Unknown  
Termination Shock by Sabrepulse  
Don't Ever Forget by Arata Liyoshi  
Industry by Danimal Cannon  
Class Trial V3 by Masafumi Takada  
Sweet Victory by David Glen Eisley  
Surveillance by Danimal Cannon  
Cheat Codes by Nitro Fun  
Please Insert Coin by Masafumi Takada  
Till Its over by Tristam  
Battle Against A True Hero (prestissimo remix) by Toby Fox  
**


	23. International Affairs: The Truth

**Author's Note: This is a translated version of Chapter 22. Some words may get lost in translation. Still, the author will try to provide an accurate version of this document. However, particularly bad translations that made the author laugh were left in because they are amusing bloopers (most of those are in the Khmer section). Since they can't speak Japanese, Khmer, Danish or Spanish, or have access to people who can speak it, it may be wholly or partially wrong. You have been warned.**

**Warning: Possible spoilers for Danganronpa V3 and Eeveelution Squad. Reader's discretion is advised.**

**You didn't think that only the USA got affected by the Anomalous Bursts, did you?**

We appear to be peering into a strange building. It appears to be nighttime in a cold, depressing place overcast by smog. Yep, we must be in London. Inside the skyscraper, we see an advertisement for what appears to be a law firm…picking up one of the business cards, their modus operandi is emblazoned on it.

Why dae rich people care about making bees and honey?

Strange, it appears to be a fusion of Scottish and Cockney…the familiar logo catches your eye.

MC&D Ltd.

Marshall, Carter and Dark…a major GOI within the 35 alternate Foundation canons. They are to anomalous objects as Google is to search results. A means to an end, a way to make a monopoly and a way to control the proletariat and bourgeoisie through their acquisition of the anomalous. Those clever bastards…they know that the rich with hobnob with the other rich people and brag about this cool thing that they bought that they don't really know what it does, but all that matters is that they have it and you don't, therefore, they are better than you. And the only winner of this game is Marshall, Carter and Dark.

"Places everyone."

It appears one of their famous anomalous auctions is occurring. We don't want to miss the entertainment. A massive assortment of strange objects are up for auction, but hearing rich people and undercover Foundation agents vying for these weird things tires you. But, one of the objects catches your eye.

"Item #877829. This is a grand piano, made of oak and placed within a sleek black metal framework. The keys are inlaid with the purest ivory, the inner strings made with reinforced steel wire that is nearly impossible to break, unlike your grandson's guitar when he tried starting a band."

The rich people laugh at this attempt at humor.

"Now, Carter, I hear you bourgeoisie types saying. This is Marshall, Carter and Dark, don't these things have anomalous? It is what you're known for, after all. Not to worry, for this object has an anomaly. According to our anonymous source, this can teleport you into the future. Before you buy, he said it's a one-way trip. We did not have enough time to determine what cause the anomalous effect, but just to prove to you that this piano is of working condition, we have a maestro playing a little ditty for you.

The maestro begins playing a catchy little tune.

E flat, D flat, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, B flat-F sharp, D flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, D flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, D flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, B-F, E flat, B-F, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, B flat, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, B flat, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, B flat, B flat-F sharp, D flat, B flat-F sharp, E flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, E flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, E flat, B-F, B-F, E flat, D flat, E flat, B-F, D flat, B-F, B flat, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp, E flat, D flat, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, D flat, B flat-F sharp, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, D flat, B flat-F sharp, F sharp, F, F sharp, G, A flat, B-F, D flat, B-F, A flat, B-F, D flat, B-F, A flat, B-F, D flat, B-F, A flat, G, A flat, F, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, D flat, B flat-F sharp, F sharp, B flat-F sharp, B flat-F sharp

The rich people applaud.

A piano that can time travel? Now you've heard everything. Still, you see the end result of the auction. Some rich Japanese man bought it for around 30 million yen, or around $280,650 in US dollars. Meh, at least you saw how an auction worked…kind of. It was just a bunch of rich people begging MC&D to take their money. It's kind of pathetic, really.

Anyways, that Japanese man tried to activated its "time travel" anomaly, but he never got it to work quite right. So, he offloaded it to some school so that any aspiring pianists could use it. If only he checked where he sent it to.

* * *

"僕の願いを叶えます"

それは2017年1月12日でした…あのピアノ, 放棄された, 彼はそれを決して見つけないだろう (友人の死体を見ると絶望する, しかし、彼らはそのオプションを考慮しませんでした), 約3年が経過しました…〜 Anomalous Burst 東京の埋立地のピアノの下に現れます.

"目を覚ます時です" ある声が言うピアノへ

若い女の子の目はゆっくりと開き、皮膚からのチアノーゼが後退します. 彼女を石打ち しようとするものからの重傷, およびピアノ線からの合字マークが癒し始めます. 彼女は鋼線の下で操縦しようとします…彼女はそうします. 彼女がピアノのカバーを攻撃すると、彼女はなんとか蓋を開けて動かします. 彼女はすぐに保持スティックを動かして、蓋が彼女を押しつぶさないようにします. 彼女はなんとかピアノから転がり出しました.

"ここはどこ?"

"日本東京都港区赤坂."

"それは何年のことか?"

"2019年後半です."

"だから...あたし?"

"おめでとう、女性. あんたは3年スキップしました!"

"タイムトラベル?"

"ええ. 正直に言うと、あなたは今死んでいるはずです. 私は何とあなたがまだ生きているかわからない."

"友達はまだ生きていますか?"

"赤坂溜池タワー, 2-17-7, 赤坂港区, 107-0052, 日本. あなたが求める答えはそこにあります."

このリードで, 彼女は塔に向かっています. 如く 彼女は母国である日本の美しさを高く評価しています.

"日本は3年で大きく変わりました…"

彼女は虹のオーラの下を通り過ぎる, 彼女は何が起こったのかを理解しようと; 結局のところ、人々は死から戻ってこないのです! 説明するのはちょっと難しいです人々は「死んでいる」ことを止めず、ゾンビは数えません. それらは偽のニュースです! 彼女はラップトップでランダムにゲームをしている日本の若者を見つけます. 何らかのリズムゲームのようです.

"あなたはどんなゲームをプレイしていますか?"

"「ああ、それはある種のリズムゲームです…Just Shapes and Beats と呼ばれていたと思います. カナダの何人かの人々によって作られたと聞きました。そして…"

"ちくしょう!"

彼女はショックを受けた.

"君じゃない, 僕は死んだオン Termination Shock 再び! 開発者がストーリーモードの8番目のレベルとしてゲーム全体で最も難しいレベルを設定したのはなぜですか?! チャレンジモードで Mortal Kombat を完成させた僕! なんでこんなに難しいの?!"

彼女は彼の叫び声を聞くことができます, しかし, 彼女は駆逐艦 Sabrepulse の甘い曲も聞くことができます. Termination Shock 彼の意志を破壊するかもしれないが, でも歌はいい音がする.

彼女は素晴らしい音楽をたくさん聞くことができます. もちろん, 音楽はどこでも聞くことができますが, 彼女は…音楽との特別なつながりを感じています. もちろん, 彼女はマスターピアニストだったので, だから彼女はこの種のものにもっと同調しているのかもしれない.

"さあ、拾う…"

彼女はお母さん, お父さん, 妹に電話してみます. それらのすべてに応答がありませんでした.

"あたしはここに一人でいると思う."

赤坂溜池タワーに到着した彼女は、建物の入り口が何らかの警備員に守られていることに気付きまし. なぜわ Starbucks ニード警備? 彼女は気づく.

その Starbucks は1階にあります. 答えは高層階にありますか? おそらくラッキーナンバー7? 彼女は警備員に近づき、彼が次のように見えることにショックを受けま…

"Shuichi-kun? それは本当にあなたですか?"

"あれは Saihara-san 貴様…"

探偵は少女を見て、幽霊のような白に変わります. これはできません! 彼らは皆彼女が死ぬのを見ました! これは悪夢に違いない! またはコスプレイヤー! この状況でどちらが悪い選択肢になるかわからない…

"いいえ…これはある種の病気の冗談であるに違いありません! 彼女は3年前に処刑された! 嫌なコスプレイヤー! なぜあなたは私の感情を操作する必要があります?! Akamatsu Kaede は死んでおり, 2017年1月12日以来です!"

このシナリオでの正しい質問は, 修一がどのようにしてこの次元のバージョンの日本に入ることができたかということですが、もっと差し迫った問題があります. 濃い有毒な紫色の物質がゆっくりと彼を包み込む.

"それは…?"

"ええと, ろくでなしロボクマが嘘をついているのかもしれないと思った. これはある種の幻想です! "私の願いを続けて"? なんて嘘！ 本当に私たちのことを気にかけてくれましたか?! あなたは私たちの Killing Game の首謀者よりも優れていません! その雌犬は私たち全員をほぼ殺しました! 貴様, その一つ希望をもたらす人?!"

紫色の物質が彼を覆っている, 彼を穏やかな認識災害効果を出力しているように見える紫がかった塊に変えました! これは、修一が今や SCP であることを意味していますか？

突然, 5つの Monokuma ボットが戦闘に参加します!

俺あ Misanthropy! 絶望の真髄です! 私は絶望と一体になりました! さよならを言う, Akamatsu-sama! あなたの貴重な Shuichi-kun 死んだ! 今**死ぬ**!

Kaede はたくさんの音楽を聞く. たぶん…多分、シュイチを絶望から救う別の方法があるかもしれない! 彼女はタワーの7階から演奏し始める素晴らしい音を聞きます. 懐かしい思い出を呼び起こす曲. 絶望の最も暗い深ささえも打ち破ることができる歌…希望の歌. 彼女は歌との調和を始めます.

"Grr, Monokuma-bots, その迷惑なガキを殺します!"

Monokuma ボットは Kaede を攻撃しようとしますが、曲はそれらをショートさせているようです!

"彼らの絶望のコアは短絡されています! いい, これを生き残る!"

Misanthropy が地面を叩き, 純粋な絶望のとげのある絶壁が Kaede に向かって駆け巡る. 彼女はなんとか爆発を弱めることができますが、絶望の波によって傷つきます. 歌のピッチを下げた, しかしそれは時間の経過とともに上昇しました. 紫のグーが秀一の体から消えていく!

一方, 7階で…

"絶望のリアクターは過負荷です! 絶望の大波が発生しています! 炉心はそれを取ることができません!"

"原子炉が故障する原因は何ですか? 私はそれをチェックするつもりです!"

"それらのカナダ人はホッケーの試合に負けて暴動を起こしました. カナダの絶望が時間の経過とともに蓄積するため, 集中したカナダの絶望が原子炉を食い止めたのかもしれません?"

男は何が起こっているかを見るために塔を降ります.

"もう一度, 彼女のことを思い出したくない…"

"彼女を失いたくない."

"やめて!"

"Akamatsu-chan…"

絶望グーは修一を完全に去る. Kaede は彼に向かって走ります.

"Shuichi-kun, 大丈夫ですか?"

"本当に Kaede ですか？"

"うん...それは私です."

"どのように生き残りましたか?!"

"正直なところ, あたし は知りません. しかし, それは重要ですか?"

"私は推測しない…"

男は駆け落二人の生徒が和解するのを見る.

"いいえ、あなたは死んでいるに違いありません! まだ元気ですか生きている?!"

彼らは男から離れる.

"そのものがたり! お前は物語を台無しにした! Akamatsu Kaede は2017年1月12日に絞め殺されるべきだった! 君! すべき! なる! 死んで!"

想像を絶する量の絶望が生徒たちを駆け巡ります. Kaede の心はその男から発する絶望の純粋な力から少し割れています!

"ストーリーを修正する必要があります!"

彼は縄を持ちます.

"Akamatsu-sama, 物語が本当の結末を達成できるように自殺してください."

沈黙.

"うわー, なんて反逆者. 私の創造物は喜んで死ぬことはないので、私はあなた自身を殺さなければなりません! それで, つまり, 私は新しい従業員に私のためにそれをさせるつもりです. ヒーロー症候群, 侵入者がいます."

軍服を着た黒髪の女性が塔を降り、男の側に立っています。彼女はアサルトライフル、おそらくAR33、強力なライフル、可能性のある Howa タイプ89、および RPG ランチャーを運んでいるようです。混雑した建物に銃器を置いて逮捕されなかったのはどうしてですか?!

"一般的な Kodaka-san, ご注文は何ですか?"

"あの少女を処刑してください, Ikusaba-san. 彼女の犯罪は彼女が物語を不安定にしていることです. 傷つけないで Saihara-san, 彼はストックホルム症候群に苦しむ人質です."

"物語を変えようとしていますか? 私がそれを試したときのことを覚えています."

彼女は Kaede に叫ぶ.

"時間を無駄にしています運命を変えることはできません! 私は主人公であり、あなたは悪者です! Kodaka-san 私に言った."

"ご存知のように、これは SCP-2786-EN です…彼女は彼女を実験しようとする悪科学者から逃げたので, 私は彼女を連れて行き彼女を内部安全保障として仕事に就かせました. 彼女は冷酷に効率的です. ヒーローになることは彼女の夢です."

兵士はナイフを取り出し Kaede を斬ろうとする, 誰がストライキをかわす! 彼女は歌を使って友達を救うことができたので, 防御能力を高めることができる歌があるかもしれません!

"終わった, Akamatsu-chan. 私には利点があります!"

Kaede はどうやってこの超強力な SCP と戦うことができますか?

"これは Kodaka-san にとっては素晴らしい勝利になるだろう!"

Sweet Victory? 何て素晴らしいアイデアなんだ! Kaede はその歌の音楽性を活用します.

"**死ね****!**"

そのナイフが彼女の肌で折れる

"ナイフプルーフ? ナイフはいらない…"

"**あたし持ってる弾丸代わりに****!**"

彼女は AR33 を取り出し Kaede を全滅させ始めます. 弾丸は彼女の体を突き刺すことさえせず、ただ跳ね返ります!

"何? 死ぬ既に!"

彼女は手擲弾弾を投げる. Kodaka-san これに気づく.

"夢中ですか, Mukuro-chan? 周りに民間人がいます! Kaede だけを殺す!他の死傷者なし!"

その擲弾が爆発する. 彼女は爆発による軽傷のみを受けます.

"これは愚かです. Mukuro-chan, 退却. 私は素晴らしいアイデアを持っています. 彼女に音楽の力があるなら... ドローンを送る時間です."

突然 2 台の軍用ドローンが頭上を飛ぶ!

"Akamatsu-kun, このバカ! あなたが破壊しようとする絶望の前駆体はあなたの前に立つ! この会社, Spike Chunsoft, 希望と絶望の創造者があなたの存在のまさに理由です! 私 Kodaka Kazutaka, の作成者 Danganronpa そしての真の首謀者のその Killing Games! Ultimate Despair 意志世界に影響を与える!"

日本人は頭上を飛行するドローンを見る.

"これらはより悪い形ですのその QROY-66 SENSOR そしてその QFMX-69 SICKLE 日本政府はアメリカ人から購入しようとしています. 彼らは使用します QFMX-69 SICKLE 最高指導者を暗殺する Kim Jong Un-sama. あなたが見るために, Kim Jong Un-sama 文字通り太りすぎて普通に殺せない! 彼の太ったお尻は、重要な何かが切断される前にすべてのナイフのスラッシュを吸収します…そして彼の脂肪は弾丸をそらします! 彼らが彼のエリートガードをバイパスできると仮定して. この時点で, 彼は心臓発作で死にます."

ええ, それはちょうど起こった.

"とにかく, その QR-66 OVERCAST そしてその QX-69 BLOODLUST のマーケティングキャンペーンの一環として購入されたために Danganronpa V4. 彼らは軍事版よりも危険ではありませんが、彼らはあなたを殺すことができます, Kaede. 他の日本人は避難してください. あなたは皆アクティブな戦場にいます."

日本国民はヒントを受け取り, その地域から逃げます.ドローンは現在、タワーの上に実際にあります!

"葬儀音楽に関する推奨事項, Kaede?"

"実はそうです, はい!"

おなじみの曲が塔の中から聞こえます. Spike Chunsoft はビデオゲーム会社ですので、驚くことはありませんが、これは Danganronpa のトラックにはあまりにもエレクトロニックです. ビデオゲーム、レトロ、8 ビットに聞こえます.

"取得する Takada Masafumi ここに, 彼の楽器で!"

SCP-2786-EN 彼を取りに走ります.

外に奇妙な構造が形成されます. 宇宙船のようです. ピクセル自体が所定の位置に挿入されます. Kaede 作成者との戦いで得ることができるすべての助けが必要になります!

"あなたはあなたの最後の命を失いました, Akamatsu Kaede! Please Insert Coin 続ける."

Takada-san 彼の楽器を持って塔の入り口に到着.

"歌を演奏する, Takada-san!"

彼は Kaede のキャッチーなレトロチューンに対抗するためにキャッチーなレトロチューンの生成を開始します.

"このフィードバックループは彼女の計画を停止するはずです！ドローン, 実行位置に移動!"

Kaede はミサイル発射装置を見つめるのその QX-69.

"続けるコインがありません. 私は絶望の会社を止めなければなりません. 必要なときに警察はどこにいますか?"

"あなたが負けた. あなたの運命を受け入れ物語に自分自身を修復させます!"

もちろん, Shuichi が死ぬと, 物語もまた失敗するが, Kaede はそれを修正するために死ななければならない!

"それは終わっていません."

"ハァッ?"

"終わっていない…終わるまで!"

新しい音楽の歌が登場します! Kaede はすぐにそれと調和します. 彼女は何でもできるように感じています!

"それであなたは私を守ってくれた…あなたを守るのは私の番だ."

わたしたち しない きつけ いかん かれら いう  
わたしたち であろう する ここに すべて ひ  
わたしたち であろう たいざい ここに まで それわ こえて  
まで その せかいわ でる の しりょく  
わたしたち であろう たつ, わたしたち であろう たたかい  
それわ じゃない こえて まで それわ こえて

Kaede から大量のエネルギースパイクが検出されました. 彼女は輝かしい青いオーラに囲まれています. 低音が下がると, Kaede はドローンをダウンさせるために強力な EMP バーストを発します.

"何を待っていますか? 彼女を殺す!"

パイロットは彼女にミサイルを発射しようとします. Kaede は本能的に Shuichi に飛びついて爆発から身を守る.

"いいえ! 彼が死ぬと, 物語は取り返しのつかないほどのダメージを受けます!"

煙が消え, 両方とも奇跡的に無害です!

"不可能な! あなたは路上で血痕に過ぎないはずです! どうやってクソドローンストライクを生き延びられますか?!"

両方とも青いオーラに囲まれています. ドローンは EMP 爆発から失速し始めます. パイロットは退去を余儀なくされる.

"いいえ, 私のドローン! それぞれ2億5000万円!"

SCP-2786-ENは戦いに再び参加します Kodaka-san ドローンが倒れたと聞いた後.

"Kodaka-san, 私はあなたのために敵を殺します!"

SCP-2786-ENはダンガンロンパのフランチャイズの真のヒーローに変身します, Enoshima Junko. もちろん, 彼女はその Ultimate Evil, しかし彼女はそれを知りません.

Ikusaba Mukuro 彼女の武器は消えた. Enoshima Junko 力はマスターマニピュレーションです, 犠牲者をトリックして致命的な状況にする! 彼女は両方の主人公を自分で殺すことを計画しています? なんてクレイジー!

"武器はいらない! 私はここと今の両方で彼らを殺すことができます!"

の急速な変化 Battle Against A True Hero 演じる, しかし, それによってオーバーライドされます Till It's Over!

として 僕 おちた に その かいよ ゆか  
たいしょく ひかり つじて ある あいた とびら  
みる じぶん じょしょ とともに その みず  
かれら しそ かれら できた たもつ わたし くだり  
もよす かれらの きそく そして みはる わたし すいしする  
でも すべて かれら した もている おした わたし よりたかい

わたしたち しない きつけ いかん かれら いう  
わたしたち であろう する ここに すべて ひ  
わたしたち であろう たいざい まで それわ こえて  
まで その せかいわ でる の しりょく  
わたしたち であろう たつ, わたしたち であろう たたかい  
それわ じゃない こえて まで それわ こえて

として その よる において その あめ  
として その じかん そして その とつ  
わたしたち であろう たつ, わたしたち であろう けして さがる  
そして それから あと その おわり の それ すべて  
わたしたち であろう かつ, わたしたち であろう せいか  
それわ じゃない こえて まで それわ こえて

歌に忠実に, 雨が言及されるとすぐに雨が降り始めます. 数人の人々が人口密集地域の近くでクソミサイル攻撃を聞いたので警察は最終的に現れます. Kaede は警官に気づき戦いをやめる. 警察は Junko に似た人物が無防備な日本人を絞め殺し彼らの援助に駆けつけていることを確認します. 財団は SCP-2786-EN の脱出を認識しているため SCP-2786-EN を回収するためにもそこにいます.

警察が SCP-2786-EN を逮捕しそして Kodaka Kazutaka 殺人未遂のため. 彼はドローンが攻撃される前に避難したか多くの人が亡くなったので非常に幸運でした. 警察は7階を襲撃しカルト主義の道具を見つけると同様の計画ために Danganronpa V4. ええと Half-Life 3 と Shrek 5 とともにエリア51にあると思いました.

SCP-2786-EN を回復することができたによって SCP Foundation.

"そしてそれはすべてが起こった方法です."

"正しい, あなたはここで囚人であることに気付きます, Akamatsu-san?"

"いいえ、私は Euclid になりますあなたは私に実験をするかもしれない."

ぎこちない沈黙が部屋を埋める… Kaede は最終的に話す.

"少なくとも友達を訪ねることはできますか? 私たちは3年でお互いに会っていません."

"僕の問題じゃない. O5評議会はそのようなことを審議します."

"うーんなぜ私の部屋は防音ですか?"

"あなたの能力のために."

"私の異常が音に基づいている場合, 彼らはなぜあなたがそれにピアノを入れたのですか?"

"クラシック音楽が承認されました. 他のテストが保留中です. それに, 一部のスタッフはファンであり彼らはすでにあなたがピアノを弾いていることを知っています."

"感謝, Kai-san."

"いいえ, Kaede. ありがとうございまし."

Kai-san 面接室を出る機動部隊の兵士が Kaede を部屋に連れ戻す. 彼らはまた彼女がピアノを弾くのに飽きた場合に備えて、彼女の部屋にラップトップを置いた. 彼女は文書を起草します.

異常数: SCP-2016-JP

オブジェクトクラス: 悪魔

脅威レベル: 赤

特別収容プロトコル：被験者は防音対策済みの9フィート×9フィート×9フィートの部屋に収容されています. 彼女の娯楽のために部屋の中にピアノとラップトップがあります.

説明：SCP-2016-JP はダンガンロンパのキャラクターである Akamatsu Kaede です. ゲームのテーマに合わせて, 彼女はピアノの演奏をマスターしているようです.

心理テストでは彼女が不幸な人間と見なされていることが示されています. しかし, 彼女は回復中に一人の特定の人に懸念を示しました. 面接 Kodaka Kazutaka 府中刑務所から、彼は言った: "誰がもっと狂っている? ゲームメーカー? または実行を志願する参加者実行のために?!"

彼女の主な異常な特性は彼女が地球内で「音楽を感じる」ことができるということです. 彼女はすべての音楽には望むなら見ることができアクセスできる何らかの力があると述べています. 例では彼女は特にデビッドグレンアイズリーによる伝説のロックソング Sweet Victory が彼女の防弾とナイフ防止を作ったと述べています. この歌をさらにテストするとこの歌の音楽性にアクセスすると SCP-2016-JP の肌と髪は SCP-682-EN の鱗のように硬くなることがわかります! 歌がアクティブである限り, ケラチンの持続性を促進するようです. さまざまな曲のさらなる実験が必要です.

彼女の二次的な異常な特徴は時々トラックと「調和」できることです. このハーモナイゼーションは制御不能であり再生している歌に応じて SCP-2016-JP に何らかの苦痛をもたらします. 英国のアーティスト、アシュリーチャールズ（ステージ名 Sabrepulse で知られる）による歌 Termination Shock でのテストでは15人の犠牲者が出ました. これが彼女悪魔に分類される理由です. 彼女が次のような不快なトラックと調和する場合 Abel Jeff 歌, Destroid 8 Annhilate Far Too Loud バンドとのコラボレーショントラックです. Excision の歌は非常に破壊的であるため2〜5分以内に全国を全滅させることができます! 彼女はダブステップが嫌いだと言うので Excision はヘビーメタル/ダブステップハイブリッドインストゥルメンタルを専門としているためこれは完全に不本意です.

SCP-2016-JP はいかなる形、形、形であっても悪意的または敵対的ではありません. 彼女の性格は, 彼女が出くわす誰に対しても友好的で親しみやすい. 彼らが他の異常または財団スタッフであるかどうか. ただし, 彼女はまだ悪魔として分類する必要があります.

そして、それが日本の外伝物語の終わりです. しかし, さらに3つのサイドストーリーがあります. カンボジアの話は次です. それでは、カンボジアに行きましょう!

* * *

យើងមកដល់ប្រទេសកម្ពុជា។ ជាក់ស្តែងរាជធានីនៃរាជធានីភ្នំពេញ។ ការក្រឡេកមើលទៅប្រជាជនវាហាក់ដូចជាមនុស្សគ្រប់គ្នាមានសត្វចម្លែក ៗ ដូចជាសត្វចិញ្ចឹម។ ពួកគេមើលទៅដូចជាប៉ូឡូម៉ុន។ តើរឿងនេះកើតឡើងយ៉ាងដូចម្តេច?

ប្រទេសកម្ពុជាត្រូវបានគេទម្លាក់គ្រាប់បែកដោយភាពមិនប្រក្រតីជាច្រើន។ ថ្មសត្វចិញ្ចឹមនិងត្រីកោណមួយ។ត្រីកោណត្រូវបានគេជម្លៀសទៅមន្ទីរពិសោធន៍ស្រាវជ្រាវ។ ការពិសោធន៍ជាមួយសត្វគួរឱ្យស្រឡាញ់បានបង្ហាញថាពួកគេមានសមត្ថភាពអាថ៌កំបាំង។ ដោយសារអ្នកវិទ្យាសាស្ត្រមិនអាចពន្យល់អំពីរឿងនេះបានមានតែការពន្យល់ឡូជីខលប៉ុណ្ណោះ។ ព្រះពុទ្ធហ្គូតាម៉ាខ្លួនគាត់ច្បាស់ជាបានប្រទានពរដល់អ្នកដើរតាមព្រះរបស់គាត់ជាមួយសត្វទាំងនេះ! ពិតជាសមហេតុផលមែន! ការបង្ក្រាបទាំងនោះត្រូវតែជាផ្លូវចូលទៅកាន់ព្រះនិព្វាន! វាមានអត្ថន័យច្រើនណាស់ឥឡូវនេះ! ដោយសារតែបញ្ហានេះពួកគេបានបង្កើតរូបចម្លាក់សត្វ…ពួកគេប្រាំបួននាក់បានផ្សព្វផ្សាយពាសពេញប្រទេសកម្ពុជា។

នៅទីបំផុតពួកគេបានរកឃើញវិធីផ្លាស់ប្តូរទម្រង់នៃសត្វនេះ។ អ្នកវិទ្យាសាស្ត្របានចាប់ផ្តើមផលិតថ្មពិសេស។ ដីខ្សាច់ក្រហម, ថ្មកំបោរពណ៌ខៀវ, រ៉ែថ្មខៀវ។ មនុស្សក៏បានទទួលទំរង់បីទៀតនៃសត្វនេះតាមរយៈការរាប់អានវានៅពេលថ្ងៃដែលមានពន្លឺភ្លឺនិងរាត្រីខ្មៅក៏ដូចជាធ្វើឱ្យវាមានភាពគួរឱ្យស្រឡាញ់និងគួរឱ្យស្រលាញ់។ទម្រង់ពីរចុងក្រោយមានប្រភេទផ្សងព្រេងរកឃើញថ្មពិសេសមួយដើម្បីផ្លាស់ប្តូរទម្រង់របស់វា។ មានថ្មគ្របដណ្តប់ពីរស្លែមួយនៅក្នុងព្រៃដែលព័ទ្ធជុំវិញដោយគ្រាប់មីនពីសង្គ្រាម។ មួយទៀតនៅកន្លែងណាមួយនៅជួរភ្នំក្រវាញខាងលិច។ទំរង់ទឹកកកនៃសត្វនេះគឺកម្រណាស់ដែលអ្នកដែលជាម្ចាស់ម្នាក់ត្រូវបានគេចាត់ទុកថាជាស្តេច! ដោយសារតែវាកម្រមានណាស់មនុស្សមានទំនោរគិតថាមនុស្សដែលមានមួយមិនត្រូវទទួលបានដោយស្របច្បាប់ឬពួកគេបានធ្វើពិសោធន៍វិទ្យាសាស្ត្រខ្លះដើម្បីប្តូរឌីអិនអេឬអ្វីមួយ ដើម្បីទទួលបានមួយស្របច្បាប់អ្នកត្រូវរកថ្មមួយដុំដែលគ្របដណ្តប់ដោយទឹកកកនៅជិតកំពូលភ្នំឱរ៉ាល់។ ការបួងសួងដល់រូបសំណាកព្រះពុទ្ធនៅលើកំពូលភ្នំគឺស្រេចចិត្តប៉ុន្តែពួកគេត្រូវធ្វើវាដើម្បីបង្ហាញពីភាពស្មោះត្រង់របស់ពួកគេចំពោះជំនឿ។

យើងចូលរួមជាមួយតួឯករបស់យើងនៅឯទីក្រុងនៅពេលដែលគាត់ចាប់ផ្តើមដំណើររបស់គាត់ដើម្បីទស្សនារូបសំណាកទាំង ៨ ។ ស្របតាមខ្លឹមសារនៃព្រះពុទ្ធសាសនារូបចម្លាក់នីមួយៗត្រូវបានភ្ជាប់ទៅនឹងមាគ៌ាប្រាំបីដ៏ថ្លៃថ្នូវាត្រូវបានគេជឿជាក់ថាការទស្សនាទាំង ៨ នឹងនាំមកនូវខ្លួនអ្នកកាន់តែខិតជិតទៅរកការត្រាស់ដឹង។ គាត់រួមជាមួយដៃគូរបស់គាត់ឆ្ពោះទៅកណ្តាលនៃរាជធានីដើម្បីរករូបសំណាកមួយដែលមានរូបសត្វដែលមើលទៅគួរអោយស្ញប់ស្ញែងដោយមានត្រចៀកស្រួចនិងកន្ទុយដ៏មមាញឹកក៏ដូចជាអ្វីដែលមើលទៅដូចជាក្រម៉ាធ្វើពីរោមរបស់វា។ នៅក្រោមរូបសំណាកនោះអាន។:

"ភាពពិតរបស់អ្នកនិងការពិតរបស់ខ្ញុំគឺមិនដូចគ្នាទេ។ ដើម្បីទទួលយកនេះគឺជាការយល់ដឹងត្រឹមត្រូវនៃពិភពលោករបស់យើង។."

រូបសំណាកដំបូងបង្អស់ក្នុងចំណោមរូបចម្លាក់ទាំង ៨ ត្រូវបានគេមកទស្សនា។ គាត់សំរេចចិត្តឆ្ពោះទៅកាន់សារមន្ទីរឧក្រិដ្ឋកម្មប្រល័យពូជសាសន៍ទួលស្លែងដែលមានរូបចម្លាក់មួយទៀតត្រូវបានគេលេច rum ថាជា។ គាត់ចូលកន្លែងដែលត្រូវបណ្តាសាហើយឃើញសំណល់នៃភាពសាហាវព្រៃផ្សៃដែលបានកន្លងផុតទៅតែនៅតែស្រស់ស្រាយនៅក្នុងចិត្តរបស់ប្រជាជន។ គាត់ថែមទាំងបានឃើញលលាដ៍ក្បាលមួយដែលប្រាប់យើងឱ្យចងចាំ។ ចងចាំអំពើប្រល័យពូជសាសន៍ចងចាំគ្រាប់មីនចងចាំវាលពិឃាតចងចាំការរងទុក្ខ ... ចងចាំ។

គាត់ធ្វើឱ្យវាឆ្លងកាត់កន្លែងដែលត្រូវបណ្តាសាហើយនៅសួនច្បារខាងក្រៅគឺជារូបចម្លាក់មួយទៀត។ រូបមួយនេះមើលទៅហាក់ដូចជាស្លៀកពាក់យ៉ាងស្អាតដោយខ្សែបូនិងធ្នូនៅផ្នែកខាងលើនៃក្បាលនិងកាត់ករបស់វាដែលមានអារម្មណ៍រំជើបរំជួលជាប់នៅកនិងត្រចៀក។ វាមានអារម្មណ៍គួរឱ្យស្អប់ដែលវ៉ារ្យ៉ង់គួរឱ្យស្រលាញ់របស់សត្វចិញ្ចឹមរបស់ព្រះពុទ្ធគឺនៅចុងបញ្ចប់នៃសារមន្ទីរប្រល័យពូជសាសន៍ប៉ុន្តែគាត់ត្រូវតែមានហេតុផលរបស់គាត់។ រូបសំណាកទីពីរអាន។:

"មានតែការទទួលយកអតីតកាលប៉ុណ្ណោះដែលអ្នកអាចទុកជាមោឃៈនូវការសង្ស័យរបស់អ្នកដើម្បីបង្កើតអនាគតដ៏ប្រសើរមួយ។."

នៅលើការត្រួតពិនិត្យឱ្យកាន់តែជិតស្និទ្ធវាហាក់ដូចជាមានរូបគំនូរនៅលើរូបសំណាក។ គំនូរតាមទីសាធារណៈអាន។:

លីអាកគឺនៅទីនេះ។ ប៉ុលពតគឺជាអ្នកចាញ់!

វ៉ោ វ

បន្ទាប់ពីបានឃើញការរំងាប់អារម្មណ៍បែបប្រវត្តិសាស្ត្រដ៏អាក្រក់នេះតួឯករបស់យើងបានឆ្ពោះទៅកាន់មន្ទីរពិសោធន៍ស្រាវជ្រាវដែលការពិសោធន៍ដំបូងរបស់សត្វទាំងនេះបានកើតឡើង។ បន្ទាប់ពីដើរបានពីរបីម៉ោងគាត់មកដល់កន្លែងដែលវាចាប់ផ្តើម។ រូបសំណាកទី ៣ គឺគ្រាន់តែនៅខាងក្រៅអាគារប៉ុណ្ណោះ។ សត្វនេះមើលទៅហាក់ដូចជាមានរាងស្រឡូនខ្លាំងណាស់មានកញ្ចឹងករាងពងក្រពើនិងមានខ្នងរាងពងក្រពើ។ សិលាចារឹកនៅក្រោមវានិយាយថា។:

"តើយើងបានធ្វើអ្វីខ្លះ? យើងបានព្យាយាមធ្វើឱ្យមនុស្សក្លាយជាមនុស្សល្អជាងពួកគេតាមរយៈមធ្យោបាយសិប្បនិម្មិត។ ប្រហែលជាអ្នកអាចប្រសើរជាងខ្ញុំ។ ការចិញ្ចឹមជីវិតត្រឹមត្រូវអាចទទួលបានដោយមិនធ្វើឱ្យប៉ះពាល់ដល់សណ្តាប់ធ្នាប់ធម្មជាតិ។."

តើមានសន្មត់ថាជាគ្រោងនៅទីនេះទេ?

ភ្លាមៗនោះមនុស្សដែលមានពណ៌ទឹកក្រូចនិងពណ៌ខៀវលេចចេញមកខាងក្រៅ។ វាមើលទៅដូចជាប្រភេទកូនកាត់ចម្លែករបស់មនុស្ស។ វាបង្កើតជាដាវចេញពីឌីអិនអេរបស់វា!

"ស្លឹកឈើប្លោក!"

ដៃគូតួឯករបស់យើងលោតផ្លោះទៅលើអាកាសហើយកន្ទុយរបស់វាប្រែទៅជាមុតដើម្បីប្រឆាំងនឹងផ្លុំផ្លុំសម្លាប់មនុស្សឆ្លងកាត់។

"បាល់អេឡិចត្រូ!"

មួយក្នុងចំណោមសត្វចម្លែក ៗ ទាំងនោះបានឆាបឆេះបាល់អគ្គិសនីដើម្បីធ្វើឱ្យសត្វនោះងាប់។

"ការងារល្អល្បឿន!"

អ្នកស្រាវជ្រាវម្នាក់មកពីមន្ទីរពិសោធន៍។ គាត់កត់សំគាល់តួឯក។

"ចេញពី ទីនេះ! ខ្ញុំនឹងដោះស្រាយជាមួយកូនកាត់នេះ!"

គាត់មិនចាំបាច់ត្រូវប្រាប់ពីរដងទេ។ គាត់រត់ចេញពីទីនោះ! ដោយបានឃ្លាតឆ្ងាយពីកូនកាត់ចម្លែកគាត់ចាប់ផ្តើមរៀបចំផែនការឆ្ពោះទៅសៀមរាបព្រោះរូបសំណាកពីរស្ថិតនៅក្នុងប្រាសាទអង្គរវត្ត។ វាចំណាយពេលពីរបីសប្តាហ៍ប៉ុន្តែគាត់គ្រប់គ្រងដើម្បីទៅព្រះវិហារបរិសុទ្ធ។

ដោយស្វែងយល់ពីភាពស្មុគស្មាញដ៏ធំល្វឹងល្វើយគាត់ជំពប់ជើងជុំវិញប្រាសាទរយៈពេលពីរបីម៉ោងមុនពេលរកឃើញបដិមាមួយ។ សត្វនេះគឺជាសត្វទន្សាយដូចជាសត្វដែលមានចិញ្ចៀននៅលើអវយវៈនិងនៅលើក្បាលរបស់វា។ វាមានចោះភ្នែកក្រហម។ សិលាចារឹករបស់រូបសំណាកនិយាយ។:

"សំណាងអាក្រក់កើតឡើងចំពោះមនុស្សម្នាក់ដែលមិនបាននិយាយពីចេតនារបស់ពួកគេ។ រៀនពីកំហុសរបស់ខ្ញុំហើយនិយាយអោយត្រូវដើម្បីអោយអ្នកទទួលបានអ្វីដែលអ្នកសមនឹងទទួល។."

អស្ចារ្យណាស់គាត់បានរកឃើញរូបសំណាកអង្គរវត្តមួយប៉ុន្តែរូបសំណាកមួយទៀតស្ថិតនៅផ្នែកម្ខាងទៀតនៃប្រាសាទ។

ប៉ុន្មានម៉ោងក្រោយមកគាត់បានរកឃើញរូបសំណាកទី ២ នៃប្រាសាទអង្គរវត្តក៏ដូចជារូបទី ៥ នៃបដិមាទី ៨ ។ រូបសំណាកនេះគឺជាសត្វឆ្មារលោងដូចជាសត្វដែលមានកន្ទុយជាប់និងត្បូងពណ៌ក្រហមនៅលើក្បាល។ វាមានរោមពីរនៅក្រោមត្រចៀករបស់វា។ សិលាចារឹករូបសំណាកនេះអាន។:

"គេគួរតែខិតខំឆ្ពោះទៅរកគោលដៅរបស់គេដោយការបង្រៀនរបស់គេក្នុងចិត្ត។ វគ្គសិក្សានេះគឺជាសកម្មភាពត្រឹមត្រូវ។."

គាត់ជំពប់ដួលពីភាពស្មុគស្មាញហើយព្យាយាមបន្តដំណើររបស់គាត់ប៉ុន្តែត្រូវបានបញ្ឈប់ដោយក្រុម។ ពួកវាមានទម្រង់ពីរនៃសត្វដែលតួឯករបស់យើងមិនទាន់បានទស្សនានៅឡើយ។

"អូ! កុំទៅតាមផ្លូវនេះ! នៅតែមានមីននៅតំបន់នោះ! យើងនៅទីនេះដើម្បីលុបវាចោល។ ជាមួយដៃគូដែលទុកចិត្តខ្ញុំនឹងបណ្តេញគ្រាប់មីនទាំងនេះដាច់ពីគ្នា!"

"ហើយខ្ញុំនៅទីនេះដើម្បីពន្លត់ភ្លើងដែលពួកគេនឹងចាប់ផ្តើមចៀសមិនផុត។."

ក្រុមដោះមីនបាននាំគាត់និងដៃគូរបស់គាត់ត្រឡប់មកផ្លូវវិញ។ គាត់ធ្វើដំណើរឆ្ពោះទៅទីក្រុងមួយទៀត។ មួយនេះនៅចុងម្ខាងនៃប្រទេស។ កំពតត្រូវបានគេនិយាយថាមានរូបសំណាកមួយ។

ប៉ុន្មានសប្តាហ៍ទៀតគាត់មកដល់ខេត្តកំពត។ គាត់ឆ្ពោះទៅកាន់ឆ្នេរប្រហែលជាគាត់នឹងរកឃើញរូបសំណាកទឹកនៅទីនេះ។ នៅក្បែរឆ្នេរខ្សាច់មួយហើយគ្របដណ្ដប់ដោយសារាយសមុទ្រគឺជារូបចម្លាក់ទី ៦ ។ វាមានព្រុយដូចត្រចៀកកោណដូចឆ្អឹងខ្នងនិងព្រុយដូចឆ្អឹងខ្នងដែលរត់ពេញខ្លួនទៅរកត្រីដូចកន្ទុយ។ សិលាចារឹករូបសំណាកនេះអាន។:

"ក្បាលរបស់ខ្ញុំតែងតែនៅលើពពកហើយវាបណ្តាលឱ្យឈឺចាប់ប៉ុន្តែមេរៀនដែលបានរៀនហើយមិនត្រូវឈប់ទៀតទេ។ សំអាតក្បាលរបស់អ្នកគ្មានការចូលរួមអបអរសាទរអ្នកនឹងទទួលបានការផ្តោតអារម្មណ៍ត្រឹមត្រូវហើយ។."

គាត់ចេញដំណើរឆ្ពោះទៅខេត្តរតនគិរី។ ភ្នំភ្លើងនៅក្បែរបឹងយក្សឡោមស្មានថាមានរូបសំណាករបស់សត្វភ្លើង។ ជាថ្មីម្តងទៀតគាត់បានឆ្លងប្រទេសរហូតដល់គាត់ចូលខេត្ត។ បន្ទាប់មកគាត់ស្នើសុំទិសដៅឆ្ពោះទៅរកភ្នំភ្លើង។ ពេលទៅដល់ទីនោះគាត់ប្រទះឃើញរូបសំណាករបស់សត្វភ្លើង។ វាមានរោមដូចជារោមសត្វរោមនៅលើក្បាលរបស់វារួមជាមួយកអាវរោមនៅជុំវិញករបស់វា។ វាក៏មានកន្ទុយរុយបំផុតនៃទម្រង់ទាំងអស់នៃសត្វ។.

"ខ្ញុំទទួលយកអ្វីដែលបានកើតឡើងចំពោះខ្ញុំ។ តើអ្នកបានទទួលយកអ្វីគ្រប់យ៉ាងដែលបានកើតឡើងនៅក្នុងជីវិតរបស់អ្នកទេ? បញ្ហាទាំងអស់នោះគឺថាយើងនៅទីនេះក្នុងពេលនេះ។."

ហើយអ្នកចុងក្រោយគឺនៅជួរភ្នំក្រវាញ។ មួយនៅខាងលិចនិងមួយទៀតនៅខាងកើត។ ឆ្លងកាត់ប្រទេសម្តងទៀតគាត់ធ្វើឱ្យវាទៅមូលដ្ឋាននៃផ្នែកខាងលិចខាងលិចហើយបានឃើញសត្វមួយដែលស្រដៀងនឹងដៃគូរបស់គាត់។ សត្វនេះមានស្លឹកដូចត្រចៀកនិងកន្ទុយមានស្លឹកធំ។ វាមានលំនាំហើមពណ៌បៃតងនៅលើក្បាលរបស់វាដែលមានវល្លិដូចជារូបធាតុនៅលើដៃជើងទ្រូងនិងករបស់វា។ សិលាចារឹកនៅលើរូបសំណាកនេះអាន។:

"ទោះបីជាមានការរងទុក្ខគ្រប់បែបយ៉ាងក៏ដោយក៏អ្នកនៅតែប្រកាន់ខ្ជាប់នូវអាកប្បកិរិយាមិនចេះរអាក់រអួលមិនដែលធ្វើអោយរំខានដល់អ្នកឡើយ។ អ្នកមានការខិតខំប្រឹងប្រែងត្រឹមត្រូវក្នុងការសំរេចបានអ្វីមួយ។!"

តួឯករបស់យើងធ្វើដំណើរឆ្ពោះទៅផ្នែកខាងកើតនៃជួរភ្នំនិងឃើញរូបចម្លាក់សត្វដែលមានទឹកកក។ សិលាចារឹកចុងក្រោយអាន។:

"អ្នកបានធ្វើដំណើរដោយមិនគួរឱ្យជឿនៅក្នុងខ្លួនអ្នក។ ឡើងលើភ្នំហើយឡើងទៅនិព្វាន។!"

គាត់ចាប់ផ្តើមឡើងលើកំពូលភ្នំ។ ដៃគូរបស់គាត់ព្យាយាមធ្វើតាមគាត់ប៉ុន្តែគាត់ដឹងពីគ្រោះថ្នាក់នៃភ្នំ។

"ទេ Kaffir ។ អ្នកនឹងគាំងស្លាប់នៅឯកំពូលភ្នំ។ ខ្ញុំមិនអាចអោយអ្នកធ្វើអត្តឃាតដើម្បីឃើញខ្ញុំជោគជ័យទេ។."

គាត់ទុកដៃគូរបស់គាត់នៅពីក្រោយដោយខ្សឹបខ្សៀវនៅឯមូលដ្ឋាននៅពេលគាត់ចាប់ផ្តើមឡើង។.

ជាមួយនឹងដំណើររបស់គាត់នៅចុងបញ្ចប់នៃរឿងរ៉ាវរបស់ប្រទេសកម្ពុជាបានបញ្ចប់។ រឿងទីបីគឺនិយាយអំពីប្រទេសដាណឺម៉ាក។ វាគឺជារឿងរ៉ាវដែលបានកើតឡើង។ សូមឱ្យយើងចាប់ផ្តើម។.

* * *

For vores tredje "historie" vi panorere over til Danmark, hvor... Vent et minut... hvor er Danmark? Jeg kunne have svoret det var på toppen af Tyskland her. Skete der noget med Danmark? Der er dette mærkelige lille land, der erstattede det. Hvad hedder det, Krististan? Nej, det lyder dumt, og vi har allerede et europæisk muslimsk kalifat i Swedistan. Åh, jeg tror, det blev faktisk kaldt Novoselic... men vent, er det ikke kun i nogle detektiv mord simulator visuel roman spil? Og et stupider spørgsmål, vil der nogensinde være et land, der hedder Cobain, efter Nirvana medlem, da det er, hvad dette lands navn er henvisninger? Så tilsyneladende en unormal burst Thanos knækkede Danmark ud af eksistens og erstattet det med dette land. Historiebøgerne blev også ændret! Ikke at bekymre sig, danskere, for næsten alt, hvad der skete op til dette punkt forblev den samme for landet.

OK, dette land er et fascistisk oligarki, der understøtter Trump. Jeg kan høre, at venstreorienterede allerede har REEE-Ing. For at beskytte deres lille nation, er alle forpligtet til at hverbe i militæret, som de har den stærkeste i Europa. Landet selv er styret af tre kongefamilier, den Bleichen familie overvåger militæret og politiet (så bogstaveligt talt hele befolkningen), nevermind familien håndterer eksterne anliggender, såsom diplomati og turisme, endelig, den Livmoder familien håndterer interne anliggender såsom lovgivning og retslige processer.

Selvfølgelig er det alt sammen en løgn.

Ved du, hvorfor det er et oligarki i stedet for et triarki? Fordi Novoselic har et parlament, og ligesom alle parlamenter, det er bare en flok eller rige gamle hvide mennesker skændes om trivielle ting og faktisk ikke få noget gjort. Sonia, prinsessen af Nevermind-familien har givet udtryk for sin foragt for Parlamentet, men alle tre familier skal være enige, hvis de skal afskaffe Parlamentet. Alle ved, at Parlamentet har al magten...

På trods af dette er Novoselic relativt laissez-faire. Folk har frihed til at sige noget, de ønsker, og ikke blive henrettet for det. Folk i Novoselic gjorde også, hvad Hitler ikke kunne... kom ind i Kunstskolen. De fleste Novoselians er ivrige fans af kunst, og vil mens væk timer diskuterer deres yndlings stykker. De kan endda sætte pris på god kunst lavet af dårlige mennesker og dårlig kunst lavet af gode mennesker. De betragter Koranen et stykke god kunst lavet af dårlige mennesker, fordi det inspirerede en blodtørstig kult, der vil Jihad hele verden eller dø forsøger, bare se på, hvordan de voldtaget Sverige! Det er nu Swedistan!

Ja, Novoselianerne er også i en blodfejde med de Swedistanis, ligesom danskerne og svenskere for dem. Novoselianerne er også imod nordmændene, men i så fald opfører de sig som et par College-børn, der har det sjovt med at lave dumme lort, i modsætning til det tidligere eksempel.

Ligesom Danmark før det er Novoselic officielle sprog dansk, og de har stadig Grønland og Færøerne. Men de betragtes som uofficielle turistmål. Novoselic får bare et 15% tilbageslag-gebyr for teknisk administration af steder.

På trods af at ligne et totalitært regime, er det ikke noget af den slags. Faktisk er den bedste måde at få skudt i Novoselic kalder landet "den europæiske nord Korea". Du kan snakke lort om stort set alt i landet. Du kan endda kalde det en tredje verden Hole, at geno cider sine borgere dagligt, men du aldrig kalde Novoselic "den europæiske nord Korea". Det vil udløse stort set enhver borger derovre.

Uanset, det har stærke bånd med Færøerne, Grønland, USA, Canada, Det Forenede Kongerige, Tyskland, Ukraine, Finland, Island, Norge, Sydkorea, Japan, Israel, Tyrkiet, og bizarre nok, Pakistan. Det har neutrale forbindelser med hele Sydamerika, Mellemamerika, Mexico, Afrika, Australien, de tilfældige spredte øer i havene, de tidligere sovjetiske stater og det meste af Asien. Det er fjender med EU, Mellemøsten, Rusland, Kina, nord Korea og Indien.

Husk, at UN Paris aftale, der blev underskrevet? Nej, ikke klimaet, den anormale Task Force One. Siden Danmark underskrev det, og Novoselic er dybest set Danmark nu, det betyder, at de er en underskriver af Accord ved fuldmagt. Selv om de ville have underskrevet det alligevel, ønsker at forsvare planeten fra anomalier.

Forskelle mellem Danmark og Novoselic? Novoselians får ikke deres tegnebog voldtaget hårdere end de Swedistanger kvinder, som Danmark har en 56% skatteprocent samt en 25% omsætningsafgift. Novoselic har en 10% flad skat på alt, og selv om det ikke gør så mange penge som den oprindelige Danmark, de i det mindste komme til at holde det meste af det. Da der er færre penge, vil priserne på ting gå ned for at imødekomme det lavere beløb af samlede penge. De er heller ikke pumpet fuld af Soma fra Huxley's Brave New World, så det er allerede et plus. Ironisk nok, den "totalitære " stat har flere friheder end disse globalistiske lande.

Hvorfor hader EU Novoselic? Nå, at være en fascistisk tilstand, der støtter den Trumpian måde lederskab udløser dem. Novoselic har også lukket deres grænser, selv før muslimerne Jihad Sverige og installeret det første europæiske kalifat der. Ikke at tillade dig selv at være et blod offer for Allah? Nå, du er bare islamofobisk, Novoselic! De trak sig også ud af EU, næsten samtidig med at det Forenede Kongerige gjorde det. Udløseren til Novoselic forlader? Det var, da EU vedtog sit ophavsretsdirektiv om artikel 11, 13 og 17. De så det som et angreb på ytringsfrihed og kreativitet. Sidstnævnte er meget vigtigt for et land, der værdsætter kunst, og i denne dag i alder, memes, selv de cringy dem, er en kunstform. Så de trak sig ud og nu næsten alle EU-medlemsstater ønsker at tilintetgøre dem fra jordens overflade for at afvise globalisme og islamisk jihaficering af den vestlige verden.

Novoselic er nu meme Capital i Europa, ubegrænset adgang til lækre og krydrede memes, da de nægtede at underskrive direktivet. Faktisk, folk faktisk ændre deres VPN'er til Novoselic at omgå direktivet, og det har globalisterne fuming! Åh, og de har en plan for at støtte Ukraine i tilfælde Rusland forsøger at gøre Ukraine Mykraine igen. Meme Warfare. Så snart Rusland invaderer Ukraine, deres plan er at DDOS Moskva og sende en spærreild af Pro ukrainske memes at demoralisere den russiske indsats. Et eksempel ville være udstationering en meme af SCP-516-EN, intelligent tank (en nationalistisk Ukrainsk tank, Mind dig) med billedteksten "denne ene tank kan ødelægge hele Rusland!". De fleste af dem vil gå med pyrrhic Victory Route, de fleste med angivelse af de kunne tage Ukraine, men spørgsmålstegn ved, hvor mange organer Rusland vil smide på det for at få Ukraine under sin kontrol og demoraliserende dem på den måde. De kender og bruger også hacker 4chan.

Det er enden på Danmarks Gaiden-historie, selv om det var mere en slags forklaring "Hvad skete der med Danmark". Sidste historie er meget kort, det er den argentinske Gaiden Story. Lad os gå.

* * *

"Porque el tiempo puede reparar todas las heridas."

Ya has oído esta descripción antes.

El tiempo no lo salvará.

Quería ser una estrella del fútbol como su héroe, Lionel Messi.

Pero le diagnosticaron una enfermedad incurable.

Encefalosarcoma, un tipo de tumor cerebral, y ya está en la etapa 4.

Los médicos pueden extirpar quirúrgicamente el tumor, pero ya ha penetrado profundamente en el mater aracnoideo de su cerebro.

Sólo le quedan unas horas de vida.

Durante sus últimas horas, quería jugar al fútbol, entrenar para ser lo suficientemente bueno para estar en la Copa del Mundo, como su héroe!

Todos sabemos que eso nunca ocurriría en unas horas.

La gente de la Fundación Make A Wish se ofreció a permitirle conocer a su héroe, pero él se negó.

"Quiero conocerlo en la Copa del Mundo, como compañero de equipo".

Su meta es admirable, pero no realista.

La pantalla sale cuando lo vemos pateando goles de campo.

La cámara se detiene en un oso hecho de patchwork.

Vemos su signo, dice: Lo siento

La pantalla se oscurece cuando se oye un ruido.


	24. Death Chimes

_**You've seen it. Now he can hear you. You've touched it. Now he can see you.**_

_**Never ring it. If you hear it, he can touch you. -Note recovered with a cowbell**_

Lynn Loud Sr. is a man of many talents. He has a successful restaurant. He has an appreciation for music and pun. He is an expert jigsaw puzzle solver. One of these ultimately results in the beginning of the end for the Loud House.

As we are so accustomed to seeing, Lynn Sr's favorite instrument is the cowbell. He's even gone to cowbell music festivals with his friend Kotaro. While Cowbella is over, that doesn't mean he still can't enjoy the cowbell more than Christopher Walken during that SNL skit.

"Ah, what an amazing day rocking out on my cowbell. If only my kids where here to see it. Maybe I should compose cowbell songs. Note to self, ask Luna about this later."

He begins to leave the area where he was playing his cowbell until he spies another cowbell, this one coated with brown rust.

"Huh? What's this?"

He picks up the rusted cowbell.

"Does this thing still work?"

He rings it.

"Huh? I guess it still does."

Lynn Sr. takes the two cowbells back with him. Surprisingly nothing happened to him during the drive home. He stores his precious instruments in his room and goes to sleep.

Ha. Ha. No.

During his attempt at sleeping…something assaults him to try and spring him awake. It worked, since he didn't sleep at all.

**DAY 2**

"Uh, father? Why are there scratch marks on you?"

"Oh, I must have hurt myself in confusion."

"Nice one, dad!"

He turns a corner and see a greyish humanoid creature skittering about. Getting close to it makes it vanish from view.

"AAH!"

The Loud siblings approach the source of the scream.

"Dad, is something wrong? We heard a woman screaming."

"I saw some hideous grey creature near the living room!"

Lori goes over to check it out. No creature.

"Paternal unit? Do you have schizophrenia? One of the symptoms of that disorder is hallucinations."

"I don't think I do."

The day goes on as normal, with only occasional glimpses of the creature interfering with his lifestyle.

**DAY 5**

"Father, we're worried about you. How long has it been since you slept?"

"5 days."

"Ah, well I have a new sleep formula I can let you try."

"Can't sleep, bell demon will kill me."

"Bell demon? I fear the psychosis is affecting him to the point where he can't discern reality and delusion."

"Did you try taking antipsychotics?"

"Not crazy, just tired."

**DAY 8**

By this point, cognitive decline has set in. Lynn Sr. isn't even forming coherent sentences anymore. There are a bunch of terrible drawings of what the creature supposedly looks like. They kind of look like they came out of Slender: The 8 Pages…

Lynn's Table has been closed until further notice. No one wants a sleep deprived chef handling their food.

**DAY 10**

"The body of famed local chef Lynn Loud Sr. was found in Short Shrub Creek. 2 cinderblocks were found tied to his ankles. Cause of death is drowning. We don't want to jump to conclusions, but in this reporter's opinion, this was a suicide."

**DAY 11**

"What happened to daddy?"

"He did mention he was being stalked by some grey creature…"

"But we didn't see any grey creatures."

The Louds are puzzled at what caused the mental degradation. Lincoln decides to investigate and sees the two cowbells. He picks up the rusted one and brings to the group.

* * *

"Did dad ever have a rusted cowbell?"

"I don't think so."

Leni chimes in.

"Oh, that's SCP-513-EN."

They all look at her, wondering how she could know that. Well, she does know about SCP-239-EN, so knowing about this one isn't outside the realm of possibility.

"How do you know that?"

"Oh, Luna showed me some catchy song about it."

"Luna, why didn't you say anything?!"

"Don't blame me, brah! I thought dad brought _**a**_ cowbell, not _**the **_cowbell."

"Oh, you're right. Luna. Dad did bring A Cowbell back home. That is what SCP-513-EN's codename is. Lisa, can you show the VEI article for our siblings?"

Lisa brings it up.

Objet #: SCP-513-EN

Classe: Euclide

Niveau de Menace: Jaune

Propriétés Spéciales: Akouohazard

Procédures de Confinement Spéciales: SCP-513-EN doit être maintenu dans un bloc de gélatine d'un mètre cube et doit être contenu à l'intérieur d'une cellule isolée acoustiquement et climatisée. La gélatine doit être inspectée quotidiennement pour détecter toute dégradation ou perte d'intégrité. Une inspection d'urgence sera effectuée immédiatement après un séisme, une explosion ou une manifestation sonique de niveau 2 ou plus. Le personnel en charge de l'inspection est tenu de porter une protection auditive ainsi qu'un casque antibruits et ce, pendant toute la durée passée à l'intérieur de la cellule de SCP-513-EN.

Si le cube de gélatine présente le moindre signe de dégradation (comme des déchirures, entailles, fissures, marques de liquéfaction ou de fonte), SCP-513-EN doit être immédiatement déplacé et maintenu dans un cube de remplacement par une équipe de personnel de Classe D rendue sourde par voie chirurgicale. Aucun autre membre du personnel ne doit pénétrer dans la cellule pendant cette procédure.

Tous les êtres conscients exposés à SCP-513-EN doivent être constamment surveillés par au moins deux membres du personnel de sécurité. Les victimes exposées ne doivent en aucune circonstance se faire administrer des sédatifs ou tomber dans un état d'inconscience. Toute victime qui perdrait connaissance doit être supprimée immédiatement.

Le personnel de classe D doit être supprimé au premier signe de détérioration mentale. Toute victime exposée peut être supprimée à sa demande.

Si possible, SCP-513-1-EN doit être appréhendé à vue.

Description: Physiquement, SCP-513-EN est une sonnaille rouillée ordinaire. Aucune marque ou gravure n'est visible sur sa surface à cause de l'étendue importante de la corrosion. Les tentatives de retirer la rouille chimiquement ou mécaniquement n'ont rencontré aucun succès.

SCP-513-EN a été récupéré par l'Agent ██████ au cours de la Procédure de Rétablissement de Confinement Mu au Site-██. Le battant de SCP-513-EN était fermement maintenu en place par plusieurs bandes de ruban adhésif. Un unique morceau de papier a été découvert à côté de SCP-513-EN (voir Addendum).

Le moindre son produit par SCP-513-EN provoque immédiatement une forte anxiété chez tous les êtres conscients qui l'entendent, quels que soient leurs antécédents psychologiques. Les victimes exposées ont rapporté avoir eu le sentiment d'être observées par une entité invisible et ont également présenté un rythme cardiaque ainsi qu'une tension artérielle élevés. Approximativement une heure après exposition, les victimes exposées commencent à avoir des visions de SCP-513-1-EN lorsqu'elles ouvrent des portes, marchent devant des miroirs, tournent la tête ou effectuent n'importe quelle autre action ayant pour conséquence un changement soudain de la perception visuelle. Selon toute vraisemblance, à l'instant où il est aperçu, SCP-513-1-EN fait demi-tour et s'enfuit hors du champ de vision avant de disparaître sans laisser de traces. L'interrogatoire de témoins indique que SCP-513-1-EN est invisible à ceux qui n'ont pas été exposés à SCP-513-EN.

Les visions de SCP-513-1-EN se produisent toutes les 14 à 237 minutes. Ce comportement de « traque » cause inévitablement des troubles extrêmes du sommeil, étant donné que les victimes sont fréquemment dérangées par la présence de SCP-513-1-EN dans leurs quartiers. Les victimes capables de s'endormir avant l'apparition de SCP-513-1-EN rapportent avoir été physiquement agressées par ce dernier. Au moment du réveil de la victime, SCP-513-1-EN prend la fuite, comme d'habitude (voir Rapport d'Expérience 513). Ce manque de sommeil ainsi que le stress psychologique causé par le comportement de SCP-513-1-EN provoque invariablement la paranoïa, l'agressivité, une vigilance accrue et une dépression. Tous les tests sauf un se sont terminés par le suicide du sujet testé.

Les descriptions de l'apparence de SCP-513-1-EN ne sont en majeure partie pas fiables. Les sujets de test sont incapables de fournir un compte-rendu des visions à cause de leur épuisement, de leur santé mentale dégradée et de leur vigilance accrue perturbatrice. Cependant, tous les interrogatoires semblent indiquer que SCP-513-1-EN est un grand humanoïde à l'apparence émaciée avec des mains anormalement grandes (voir Rapport d'Expérience 513).

Addendum: Texte découvert sur le Site-██

Vous l'avez vu. Il peut maintenant vous entendre.

Vous l'avez touché. Il peut maintenant vous voir.

Ne la faites jamais sonner. Si vous l'entendez, il peut vous toucher.

* * *

"So, this** fucking **cowbell is responsible for killing daddy?!"

"Wait, I think I saw this in a video game. We just need to destroy the cowbell."

"Isn't this Foundation property?"

"Eh, we're doing them a favor terminating one of their SCPs."

"Fine by me! I'll melt the damn thing with my acid powers!"

Leni stops all of their squabbling.

"Guys, stop!"

They all look at her.

"Didn't you read the note? "If you see it, he can hear you; If you touch it, he can see you; **NEVER RING IT, IF YOU RING IT, HE CAN TOUCH YOU**!""

She almost destroyed everyone's eardrums by yelling this crucial information out. She might have almost made her siblings immune to SCP-513-EN's effects!

"So, what's your point?"

"If Lola crushes SCP-513-EN and melts it with her acid powers, it might make a sound and we all will have to deal with that thing!"

"What's the alternative?"

"Give me the bell."

They hand it to Leni. She uses her reality warping powers to silence the cursed cowbell.

"We're going to destroy this thing once and for all."

* * *

Leni brings the muted bell back to her room where Sigurrós awaits.

"Hey, Leni. What's up?"

Leni holds up SCP-513-EN.

"Oh, is that…?"

"Send it down Mauna Kea, if you would, Sigurrós."

Sigurrós opens a portal where the other end is directly above the dormant volcano. Leni tosses it in.

"Good riddance!"

The portal closes. Meanwhile, in Hawaii, SCP-513-EN plummets into Mauna Kea's magma chamber. The camera shows a bird's eye view as the rusted cowbell slowly descends into the chamber. It hits the magma in a dramatic fashion, similar to Smegol's demise in Lord of the Rings. SCP-513-EN looses its form as it melts into slag.

It's over.

It's done.

SCP-513-EN has finally been destroyed.

"Note to self, update the VEI article for SCP-513-EN."

* * *

Objet #: SCP-513-EN-ARC

Classe: Détruit

Niveau de Menace: Jaune

Propriétés Spéciales: Akouohazard

Procédures de Confinement Spéciales: sur [DONNÉES EXPURGÉES] SCP-513-EN-ARC a été jeté dans le volcan Mauna Kea et a été vu fondu en scories.


	25. Fanbase's End

It is September 23, 2019. We arrive at Royal Woods Elementary school and see Lincoln and his group of friends talking about the threat level of the anomalies increasing from orange to red.

"These Anomalous Bursts are getting way more dangerous!"

"You're telling me. I think I saw Lex Luthor running for president!"

"Dude, that was a comic book."

"Well, he'd still be a better president than Donald Trump!"

"Lex is a supervillain who lies, cheats and deceives anyone to get what he wants."

"So does every politician."

"Touché. But if Lex was president, we'd have the GOC in real life!"

"GOC?"

"The United Nations Global Occult Coalition is a group of interest that preserves the safety of humanity through the destruction of anomalous objects and/or entities."

"That sounds like a good thing."

"Yeah, if they didn't try to destroy **every **single anomaly that they encounter, despite not knowing what it does. In one instance, they destroyed a human transport ship from another universe because they thought it was a hostile. They have a "kill first, ask questions later" sort of policy."

"Well, I finally figured out what my anomaly is."

"Really, what is it, Stella?"

"I can do anything!"

"Oh, you have powers of encouragement. You're right; I can do anything."

"No, really. I can do anything, no matter how impossible."

"Oh really? Then take away Clyde's anomaly."

"I can't remove what doesn't exist. Clyde was barricaded in his house by his dads and never got an anomalous power."

"He still is. He hasn't gone outside in months, except to go to school."

"Ok. This is impossible. Terminate SCP-682-EN!"

"Do you really want SCP-682-EN in any universe? I could kill him, but it will be like Chuck Norris vs Segata Sanshiro; The universe wouldn't even exist anymore by that point."

"Fair enough. How about making me the main character of The Loud House?" Rusty dares

"Done. The Loud House has been cancelled due to a sharp decline in ratings and massive fan backlash."

"Aw man!"

"Wait. If The Loud House is cancelled, doesn't that mean all universes are -X'ed?"

"No, because The Loud House still has a fan community, despite the writers making Rusty the main character. If even one fan exists, then all universes still exist, even ones destroyed in other universes!"

"Well, something strange happened to me last week. A man in SWAT gear told me that I'm way in over my head by associating with Site-1216."

"Site-1216? We don't have any Foundation sites in our universe. The Foundation itself doesn't even exist in our universe!"

"I think he means your house, Lincoln. Anyways, he said that if a real threat like 096-EN ever came through the dimensional gateways. We'd all be fucked! I don't know what he was talking about, but he did say he was Agent Omega of Τ5."

"Sounds crazy, but he's right. If SCP-096-EN did breach containment, we would be doomed, since it kills anyone that sees its face and some idiot would record its face and send it on the Internet or to a major news network like CNN. I heard it was seen in the Chappaqua Woods!"

"Wait, isn't that just Hillary Rodham Clinton? It feels like she sucks out my soul if I look at her."

"Saying SCP-096-EN looks like Hillary is an insult to SCP-096-EN! He may be an 8-foot tall emaciated gangly dude with freakishly long arms, but he still looks better than Hillary! Although people are still trying to find Hillary in the woods."

"Unfortunately for everyone, she came out of the woods and is running for president in 2020."

Everyone cringes at the thought of Hillary running again, even Lincoln's friends who lean Democrat agree that a Hillary presidency would lead to WW3, since she is one of the most corrupt people ever to exist on this planet.

* * *

The students break up and go on their separate ways. Girl Jordan decides to hang out with her bestie, Mollie.

"Hey, Mollie!"

"Oh, hey Jordan."

"So, how was your weekend."

"Uh, kind of disappointing actually."

"Really? Why?"

"You remember that Area 51 raid and how it happened last Friday?"

"The "You Can't Stop All of Us" one?"

"Yeah. I know it's a joke and that 3 million people would definitely not go to Area 51. But when the creator of the meme changed it to Alienstock, I thought there would be at least 500,000 freaks of nature to match the 500,000 hippies at Woodstock. Does that make sense?"

"I think…?"

"Only 150 people showed up and had a party at the gate. 5 people tried to breach and got arrested, but no one got shot for, you know, breaking into a military base. It was really underwhelming and I thought some idiots would get shot trying to Naruto run past security. Even the small towns of Nevada were disappointed. They thought a literal army would come through and deliver a plague unto their houses. Only 150 people…lame."

"It was good that none of them were hurt."

"Seriously? These guys bring the collective IQ of humanity down a few points! I thought natural selection would take effect and the idiots that got shot trespassing would at the very least win a Darwin Award for their sheer stupidity."

Girl Jordan doesn't even know how to respond to that…she just walks away. As soon as she was out of sight, she walkie talkies someone.

"Psilocybin, is the synthetic DAM-230 ready?"

"Sure is, Molly. By the way did you see the raid last Friday?"

"Ugh. It was so lame! No one got shot!"

"I know right? No one won a Darwin Award!"

"So underwhelming. Anyway, did Papa Smoke give the go ahead to enact Operation Westermarck?"

"He's getting the compound ready. We're going to degenerate these Louds and show the Fanbase what they really want!"

"Can you believe that Fentanyl just attacked a random person?!"

"Dude needs a girlfriend."

"I'm sure he found one in prison."

"I heard Jared needs someone to stick his 11-inch footlong into."

"Serves him right for disobeying orders and trying to kill someone who isn't even a target. It disgusted even Cannabis himself!"

"By the way, did you do anything with that video?"

"Oh yeah, I used it to extort some stuff out of Larry. When he refused, I uploaded it to the Internet to nuke his sister's reputation."

"You better hope she doesn't find you…"

"Nah, she won't. See you for the big plan tonight."

"Sure. Let's get crazy."

The call disconnects…

* * *

It is now nighttime and Operation Westermarck is near completion. Lori had a vision of these GAW posers trying to pheromone bomb them and record the debauchery and post it online to the degenerates out there. She found out about the video, but after Lincoln told her about the blackmail, she vows to find and destroy the punk that recorded it. It didn't stop the popular cliques from teasing her, though.

"Guys, there's going to be an attack here. Some gamers against weed are going to pheromone bomb us with a compound similar to 230-EN's compound [EXPUNGED]!"

"That sounds like a biohazard issue. I'll notify O5-2."

"And I'll get Β7 on the case. They deal with hazards like this all the time."

"I wonder which member authorized this?"

"The Foundation doesn't have much information on this group. It is known that they are a group of memelords that troll everyone they come across."

"So, they're 4chan?"

"They wish they could be 4chan."

"I think one of their members was a lesbian Gengar or something like that? Its been a while since I've heard about them. Their username is formatted like this: lesbian_gengar."

"Should you feel yourself attacked by a sudden chill, it is evidence of an approaching Gengar. There is no escaping it. Give up. Even your home isn't safe. Gengar will lurk in whatever dark corner of a room it can find and wait for its chance to catch its prey."

"They visit the dark web, so what?"

"I heard that their real name is Esther Kogan, but considering Gamers Against Weed thrives off of trolling, this might be an alias."

"We're wasting time! Lori, where is the compound?"

"Inside SCP-230-EN, don't you remember when Carol had that music duel with Alex Beckham?"

"Not that compound, Lori! I mean where is their base? Haz Matters could clean them up in an instance before they get to use their plans!"

Lori gives a description of the building.

"Hmm…they're going to have to canvass the area, but ok."

"Just notified Sophia of the situation. She says its kind of disturbing that some splinter cell of Gamers Against Weed formed in this dimension. She has authorized use of Β7."

"Great."

* * *

From SCP-PRM-001, a portal forms in front of the MTF.

"Mobile Task Force Β7, we've gotten word that those memelords from Gamers Against Weed have gotten some compound [EXPUNGED] and is planning to pheromone bomb Site-1216 for their and the Internet's amusement. Your mission is to recover and destroy all traces of the compound, as well as arrest and/or kill any members of the group!"

The MTF immediately enter the portal and arrive near the compound. They immediately find, isolate and raid it. Since most of them didn't expect to get raided, 90% of the members immediately surrender. They manage to seize the laboratory room where the synthetic DAM-230 was being produced. They find Cannabis in the back. He takes out the most ghetto looking Tec-9 they've ever seen.

"Everyone is going to remember me, Papa Smoke!"

Naturally, the MTFs turned him into swiss cheese.

"O5-2, come in."

"Go for O5-2."

"The compound has been razed. All of the members have been arrested and the leader was killed. All instances of compound [EXPUNGED] have been seized and will be transported to the biohazard destruction room."

"Excellent. Though I am surprised Gamers Against Weed manage to infect that dimension."

"It wasn't really Gamers Against Weed. Just a bunch of posers. Their leader was black, kind of looked like Melvin Harris from GTA, and used the name "Papa Smoke", but Jude Kriyot is white, so its obvious that this guy was a patsy."

"Ok, return to base with the compound. We don't want anymore of that stuff independent from SCP-230-EN. Leave the people that surrendered to be dealt with by local authorities. If anyone sees you, amnesticize them."

"Understood, O5-2."

They return back to Site-1216 and use one of Leni's portals to get back to their dimension with the compound. The synthetic DAM-230 was destroyed. The Fanbase was annihilated by the compound raid and only a few lone wolf members remain. Most of the members were arrested by local police and sentenced accordingly.


	26. Pandemic

"Guys, I'm getting worried. 706-EN hasn't even interacted with us ever since she roomed with us."

"Where is she, anyway?"

"Oh, I made a pocket dimension especially for her. Only 239-EN and I can access them."

"Why did you do that?"

"So she couldn't suicide herself. The pocket dimension is practically a padded room."

"Right, so where is 239-EN?"

"Well, Sigurrós also has her own pocket dimension. She's on break from training today. Why, just yesterday she…"

"Is 706-EN ready to talk?"

"Yeah, but she's still broken."

"Maybe if we could find out what happened, we could help her with whatever her problem is."

"Well, she did say she was from Texas."

"Yes, but _**where **_in Texas?"

"Maybe she's from the same town Sandy Cheeks is from."

"Texas might not be safe! Fake Mexican and famed repealer of the 2nd Amendment, Frances Beta O'Dork, has let members of many cartels in the country! Medellin, Sinaloa, MS-13 and Los Hombres Malos. The Medellin cartel just wasn't the same without Pablo. Last I heard, his brother sent some thugs to torch Elon Musk's Boring Company for stealing his flamethrower ideas. I still think that his business is a way to launder cartel money."

"¡Para mostrar la efectividad del lanzallamas Escobar, voy a incendiar la compañía de este gringo!"

"That would be absolutely insane to see!"

"Anyways, 706-EN would easily get destroyed if some gang member tries to attack you guys!"

"Well, 706-EN can't remember exactly which Texas town she is from. So, I guess we're going to have to visit them all."

"I just hope it isn't in Juarez."

"That's in Mexico, Stinkoln."

"Ok, how about Laredo?"

"That is also in Mexico, in Tamaulipas." Lisa points out

* * *

As fate would have it, yet another Anomalous Burst emerges. What will come through the dimensional gateway this time? A humanoid female, looking to be about 26, has been confirmed to have been sighted in Dresden, Germany. It appears she is locked in some sort of special biohazard suit, but even though it is a special type of suit, any idiot can remove it.

Lisa immediately recognizes this SCP.

"Oh, dear. I think we're going to need Β7 again…"

"Why, Lis?"

Sigurrós steps out of her pocket dimension and notices Lisa panicking.

"Did I miss something?"

"Only that we're now playing a real-life game of Plague Inc: Evolved."

"Cool, are we using bioweapon?" Lincoln asks

"No, the SCP **is **the bioweapon! That is…"

Sigurrós finishes for her.

"SCP-353-EN, Vector. Her anomalous power allows her to store any pathogen and allows her to release it to devastating effects! She can even mutate the pathogen at will, though it causes symptoms of varying discomforts."

"How do you know that?"

"Oh, I overheard some scientist working on containing 040-EN saying that they should move 353-EN to a different site."

"We need a doctor!"

"I think I've got just the one…but I'm bringing 706-EN along. Since she's technically nonorganic, Vector's diseases can't hurt her!"

"Wow, that actually makes sense, Lynn!"

SCP-239-EN goes into SCP-706-EN's pocket dimension and convinces her to come out.

"Fine, I'll help you, but only because I don't want the world to be a dead zone. So, where are we going, Sport Stuff?"

"We're going to Texas!"

"Oh, I didn't know we were going to visit Sandy."

"No. We need the one man who can beat these diseases! We need the Ebola Man himself, Doctor Kent Brantly!"

"Why would we need an Ebola man? Doesn't Vector already have Ebola?"

"No, we need someone who can **survive **diseases, not **cause **them!"

"Alright, but where is your false god of hope?"

"1500 S Main St, Fort Worth, Texas."

The group looks at Lori.

"What, I just Bing searched it?"

"Bing? Really?"

"Hey, if Google wasn't a Left-wing propaganda shill machine that steals data from people, we might actually use it!"

"Why not DuckDuckGo?"

"Oh, yeah. That's a good idea, Leni."

Well, I guess I'll ask mom if we can go, but I don't think there's a high chance of that…

Lori goes toward the dining room where Rita is and tries to talk to her.

"Hey, mom. Can I borrow Vanzilla?"

"What for?"

"Oh, something anomalous came up and we need to go to Texas to find the cure."

"No. That piece of garbage van is for school purposes only. If you want to move to Texas, I recommend you get your own car!"

Well…

Lori decides to report back to the others.

"Yeah, that's a no go on Vanzilla."

"Ok, then we'll go. We have teleportation powers thanks to our reality warping anomaly."

"We'd better hurry, Vector might be starting to plan her infection!"

* * *

The quartet warp to the address and start looking for their doctor. It appears that they are at the John Peter Smith hospital. They start asking around for him but it appears he is treating some trauma patients right now. Sigh…either they can try to stop Vector right now (which will just get everyone infected) or wait for him to finish. They could try explaining the situation, but that might get them admitted to a psych ward. Then again…everyone heard Trump's broadcast.

Lucky for them, they see that the doctor has finished his shift. They go up to him and explain their situation calmly.

"Doctor Brantly? Are you the same Doctor Brantly that survived Ebola?"

"Yes, that's me."

"Did you see President Trump's announcement at the UN recently?"

"I suppose…"

"Ok, now what we're about to say is going to sound crazy, but we need your help. Trump has talked about the Anomalous Bursts at length. Well, they act like dimensional gateways between other dimensions, both fiction and reality."

"The most recent burst released a bioweapon into Dresden. Said bioweapon has every pathogen known stored within her. She is planning to cause a global pandemic! We need someone to counter her and…we thought you'd be a good candidate."

"Why me?"

"You survived Ebola! If you can do that…then maybe there's a chance you can store the cure and stop her!"

"How does it work?"

"Well, how should I explain this…you know how there is a venom and antivenom? Well, she has all pathogens; Therefore, we're going to vaccinate you with all the pathogens' corresponding antibodies. If you can get to her, you can flush the pathogenic cocktail and annihilate the threat she poses to the world!"

…

Doctor Brantly's cellphone rings.

"Hold on, I have to take this."

He goes and answers the call.

"I told you this is a stupid idea, Lynn. You should have fought Vector yourself!"

"And become infected? At least if we vaccinate him, he'd be immune to every disease she can throw at him!"

"Well, Germany is probably in total anarchy right now! We're wasting time!"

Doctor Brantly comes back.

"I've thought about your proposition and…I'm in."

"Really?"

"I will use treatment to help the sick according to my ability and judgment, but never with a view to injury and wrong-doing. Neither will I administer a poison to anybody when asked to do so, nor will I suggest such a course. Similarly, I will not give to a woman a pessary to cause abortion. But I will keep pure and holy both my life and my art. I will not use the knife, not even, verily, on sufferers from stone, but I will give place to such as are craftsmen therein."

"Ok, let's go administer the cure cocktail within you."

* * *

A portal emerges from outside the hospital. They all step inside. Once back at their house, the Loud siblings are marveling that the Ebola man himself, Doctor Kent Brantly, is in their house.

"Ok, Sigurrós and Lisa have prepared the antigenic cocktail."

Lisa injects the vaccine into Doctor Brantly.

"You should be immune to every known disease! You can even mutate the antigens, but it might cause pain, as Vector has done before."

Suddenly, the TV flips to CNN, they show a diseased creature being "interviewed". The location is in Dresden, Germany.

"Is this thing on? It is? Ok then. All of you are going to be infected. My name is Pandemic. I already killed the camera crew by infecting them with Ebola. I just wanted to tell you that you are all going to die. Well, I'm off to destroy Greenland…they've had it too good for too long."

"We've gotten news that tyrannical dictator Donald Trump has called world leaders to form the first division of the anomalous task force. It is called Η6, Hypocritical Oath. How apt. Their mission is to vaccinate everyone in hopes to stop Pandemic's diseases from killing them! Personnel are already being deployed worldwide."

"We don't have much time! We need to get Antigen over to Greenland to stop her!"

"This seems like the beginning of the end. I'd better fortify my home country!"

SCP-239-EN leaves.

"Not to worry, Mr. Brantly. I'll go with you to Greenland. Mostly because the portals are one-way. I'd better get some cold resist equipment."

Both Leni and Doctor Brantly are wearing heavy jackets and thick, insulated clothing. They head through a portal to Greenland and arrive in Nuuk, where Pandemic is trying to Nuuk the population with various pathogens.

"Huh, more idiots trying to get infected? Fine by me!"

Antigen rushes at Pandemic and uses his inoculators to overload her system with antibodies. Luckily for them, they have the element of surprise! The antibodies have eradicated 96% of her pathogenic cocktail! Marburg, SARS, Ebola, Yersinia, Variola, Rubeola, Malaria, Leprosy, E coli O157 H7, Chlamydia and Syphilis, all eradicated from her! The fight was kind of anticlimactic, but at least the pandemic was suppressed in its infancy. This could have turned very bad very fast.

Leni summons a portal back to SCP-PRM-001. It leads into one of the armed biocontainment sites. They send her back to where she came from. Around 420 people died, but it could have easily skyrocketed.

Leni teleports Doctor Brantly back to Fort Worth and herself back to her house.

* * *

"Now do you see why I don't want to talk about it?"

"Did you really see a murder-suicide?"

"Yes."

"Seeing it, I wanted to die. Thinking if was perfect like her porcelain figurines, then maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"So, how did you turn into porcelain?"

"I have no idea. Maybe I ate so much porcelain that I was transformed into it? I was trying to go for death, though."

Lynn tries to sing more of that song.

_When they say you will fall  
You can reach nothing at all  
Hide your tracks, beneath the line  
Of a different frame of mind_

_Is it that what you've heard?  
Broken words in the dirt  
Yelling out into the sun  
Here we come, here we come_

_Oohh..._

_Here we come, here we come_

_Oohh...  
Oohh..._

_Here we come, here we come_

_Oohh..._

_You can lift your head up to the sky  
Take a deeper breath and give it time  
You can walk the path among the lines  
With your shattered frame of mind_

_Withstand, you could always stay  
We can wait right here and play  
Until somehow you can find  
A slightly better frame of mind_

_Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh...  
Oohh..._

"Thanks. I needed that."

"Do you need a hug?"

"Sure."

The two of them hug.


	27. Stigmata

"So, we finally meet. That idiot Kondraki may have interfered last time, but your stay of execution has run out. SCP-239-EN, you have been charged by the O5 Council for wanton disregard of all life on this planet. The punishment is immediate death. I am your executioner and I have been waiting for this moment for 11 years!"

He draws out a red knife with arcane Sumerian cuneiform on it…Sumerian for "death" and "hate" and "suffering" and similar words imbue this knife with killing power. It appears to emit a psychotropic cognitohazardous effect.

"Now **stay** dead!"

The humanoid creature, dressed in a lab coat and having his face covered in static charges at the young girl.

"You can't hurt me anymore."

The knife strikes her, but it deflects off. The knife's mind disruption technique is not affecting her!

"Huh?! Well, how about this?!"

He takes out a shotgun and cocks it.

"I stole this from Konny and loaded it with 148-EN slugs. One shot from these and you'll finally be terminated!"

He fires, but Sigurrós pulls of an Anime-esque flash step to dodge the blasts!

"Stay still so I can kill you!"

"No. I don't think I will." She taunts

"Grr…SRAs, fire!"

50 Scranton reality anchors arrive on the battlefield and are activated all at once…

They all immediately malfunction and fail!

"I didn't even need to do anything to them!"

"Expensive paperweight!"

He kicks one of the SRAs…it falls over.

* * *

"Ok, I think that's enough for today!"

The man dissolves into a kaleidoscope of SCP-408-EN.

"Pretty Booterflies."

"SCP-408-EN, Illusory Butterflies. They make great training partners. Especially since Doctor Kondraki controls them."

"Ok guys, take five."

Leni disappears the illusory kaleidoscope of SCP-408-EN. Huh, she can make illusions of creatures that can make illusions. Illusion-ception!

"These 408-EN kaleidoscopes have really improved both your combat abilities and your courage! You've made great progress!"

"Thanks, Leni!"

"Since anything you believe comes true, maybe improving your confidence will strengthen your control over your abilities and it will be less likely that you will experience a power surge."

"Now that you mention it, my powers aren't fluctuating as much."

"Well, you haven't done anything besides being a transport system…"

"True, but we can literally do anything!"

"Having the power of Deus Ex Machinae really complicates our abilities. That's why I only use my powers if absolutely necessary."

"Is that why you won't resurrect your dad?"

"I don't think it's a good idea to bring dead people back to life. They might come back normal, but they may also come back as humanoid abominations and/or zombies. And not the "Haitian slave" type, the "slow moving, brain eating" type that Hollywood overuses."

"I see. And if that happens, you don't have the resolve to execute him if he come backs wrong?"

"Exactly. Lincoln might watch a whole bunch of zombie movies, but could he kill a real zombie or humanoid abomination that used to be our dad? I think not."

"I heard SCP-040-EN tried to bring a dead body back to life with rats. It went so horribly wrong that it traumatized her for three weeks and she refuses to resurrect dead people anymore."

"That is probably for the best."

The two of them ponder this for a moment before Leni speaks up.

"So, how did you end up in that situation?"

"Well…"

* * *

"_Are you serious, Konny? We're researchers, not daycare providers!"_

"_Considering she blew up a hospital in Kópavogur, I think it would be in humanity's best interest if she was contained here."_

"_No way. Type Greens are too much of a flight risk to keep! I say terminate them all!"_

"_Hmm, if that's the case…"_

_Doctor Kondraki holds a shotgun to Doctor Clef._

"_Maybe we should start with you?"_

"_Gladly!"_

_Doctor Clef pulls the trigger and seemingly suicides…_

"_Except I literally can't die!"_

"_Shit, and I thought Site-17 would be slightly better today."_

"_Love you too, Konny!"_

"_Fuck off, Ukulele."_

_A squadron of MTFs lead what seems to be a baby crib with prototype SRA technology integrated in it._

_O5-7 said she's your problem now, Doctor Kondraki. SCP-239-EN has a special containment chamber already built within Site-17. O5-1 and O5-2 managed to convince the others to not terminate her on sight, make sure you don't prove them wrong._

_Doctor Clef coughs something that vaguely sounds like "pansies"._

_SCP-239-EN cries. A severe thunderhead appears over Doctor Clef's head and a lightning bolt electrocutes him. Doctor Kondraki laughs at this._

"_I think she heard you insulting the O5s, Alto."_

"_Very funny, Konny…"_

* * *

_Fast forward to 2008. SCP-239-EN is now 8 years old. Due to her low risk status (at this point) she is allowed limited access to the cafeteria and is allowed to befriend any non-hostile anomalies. She spots a blond haired, blue eyed female eating from a Little Caesars pizza box._

"_Hello."_

_The girl stops eating the pizza to look at the girl._

"_Oh, I think I've seen you before…239-EN isn't it?"_

"_EN?"_

"_English. The Foundation is just starting to branch out into other countries. I heard that the French, Russian and Chinese branches are being implemented."_

"_How do you know that?"_

"_An MTF told me."_

"_And they didn't shoot you on sight?"_

"_I guess I have special privileges."_

"_What are you eating?"_

"_Oh, it's a cauliflower crust pizza with a San Marzano tomato sauce with onions, green peppers, mushrooms, arugula, kale, spinach, basil, cilantro and pineapple. It's actually my first time trying this type of pizza. My preferred option is a small thin wheat crust pizza with olives."_

_The pizza immediately changes into her preferred option._

"_Dang it. I may love this type of pizza, but I still want to try something new."_

"_Is that pizza magic?"_

"_The pizza isn't "magic", 239-EN. The box is. SCP-458-EN gives the user their favorite pizza, as long as it doesn't have human (and their byproducts) as its ingredients. That's what the researchers say about it, at least."_

"_Oh. What is your name?"_

"_It's Iris Thompson. Why do you ask?"_

"_I want to make a friend."_

"_A friend? In this place? I wish you luck on that, but this place is like a prison. If the other anomalies don't kill you, the guards will. Site-17 is minimum security but something like Armed Biocontainment Area 14 is maximum security."_

"_What is your anomaly?"_

"_I don't have one, but my camera does."_

"_Then why don't they just keep the camera?"_

"_I've been asking that ever since they contained me."_

* * *

_Since she's getting nowhere with her, she decides to ask another anomaly for friendship. She asks a blindfolded humanoid but somehow missed a spot check, since there is around 5 __Ε__11 MTF soldiers surrounding her._

"_Beat it, kid. We're here on official duty."_

"_I just want to talk with her…"_

"_Sorry, but she's going to sleep after this."_

"_Oh. Is something wrong with her eyes?"_

"_Yes, she can see present and future simultaneously."_

_Hmm…sounds like Kalinin's 001 proposal. Could they be related or is this just a coincidence? Green did say Kalinin's proposal is the true 001…_

…

_It seems like she won't be able to befriend her with these Nine Tailed Fox MTFs around her._

"I did eventually manage to befriend both of them before the incident."

* * *

_Fast forward to before the incident. Doctor Kondraki and SCP-239-EN are outside Site-17. While he's doing field research, she roams outside nearby._

"_Oh, that's so sad…"_

_She looks at a nest that shows a bunch of birds. There is a dead bird nearby. She tries to bring the dead bird back to life. She succeeds. The bird flies to the other birds._

"_That must have been the mother bird. Aw…now their family is reunited!"_

_Meanwhile, a staticky looking glitch is seen from some bushes outside._

"_Wait until I tell O5-7 and O5-10 about you…"_

_After their "field trip", Doctor Kondraki escorts SCP-239-EN back to her room and heads to SCP-408-EN's enclosure. Doctor Clef heads up to prepare his after-action report to the capricious members of the O5 Council. He just needs to rehearse it._

"_My analysis of the situation has led me to the conclusion that SCP-239-EN is an unacceptable containment and security risk. Although several proposals have been made re: using her for containing other SCPs, the example of SCP-953-EN and others must serve as a stark reminder of the risks of overestimating the Foundation's ability to control SCPs with reality-altering powers._

_I would therefore like to make the following proposal: a dagger will be constructed of SCP-148-EN, capable of penetrating SCP-239-EN's otherwise invincible skin. This weapon will be used to terminate SCP-239-EN while she is asleep and her powers are neutralized. Because of the danger of SCP-239-EN awakening and resisting termination, it is my recommendation that the selected operative carry SCP-668-EN as well, in order to minimize complications._

_One of the dangers of this procedure is the possibility that SCP-239-EN will awaken and perceive the operative as a friend or "good person," thus changing reality to match. It is for this reason that I would like to volunteer to carry out the procedure personally. A review of my personnel file should indicate that my [DATA EXPUNGED] should allow me to carry out the operation even after a reality shift of this nature."_

_Doctor Clef is confident that this after-action report will terminate a bothersome Type Green and might possibly make him a level 5 researcher! He then notices that the Site-17 intercom is on and that he just broadcasted it sitewide._

"_Yeah, get __Ε__11 here immediately! Doctor Clef is planning to carry out an unauthorized termination order!"_

* * *

Incident 239-B Clef-Kondraki Evidence 19 and 34 [DECLASSIFIED]

Interview Log x I239B-CK-SG-01, Date: 11-4-2008

O5-1: At what point did you become involved in the incident?

Doctor Gears: I was doing work with Professor Kain on SCP-244-EN-ARC. We had determined that several sections could be retrofitted to be modular. We were working on a new crystal-powered cannon module when site command gave us the order to respond.

O5-1: Did you have any prior knowledge of what was going on?

Doctor Gears: Somewhat. We had heard an alarm go off, but no "black alert" breach warning, so we had continued work. More, I worked while Professor Kain was providing feedback. The P.A. system came on in the lab, and site command said Doctor Clef was attempting to terminate SCP-239-EN without approval, and had caused several containment breaches, in addition to harming other personnel, notably Doctor Kondraki. We were to attempt to contain Doctor Clef until site security could respond.

O5-1: Did you find that odd?

Doctor Gears: What?

O5-1: That you were being asked to stop a hostile action.

Doctor Gears: No. Doctor Clef's actions were…unexpected, but I have been called to do many things outside my area of expertise since joining the Foundation.

O5-1: What did you do after you received orders?

Doctor Gears: Professor Kain entered SCP-244-EN-ARC and stated that he was going to assist Doctor Kondraki. The new module was still attached, and the professor expressed anticipation in regards to using the cannon to disable Doctor Clef. I advised caution; However, Professor Kain was already leaving, and may not have heard me.

O5-1: You didn't go with him?

Doctor Gears: I doubt I would have been able to render much help. Professor Kain is a brilliant man, in the body of a dog, in a large mechanical combat device derived from several SCP. I am a human being with no combat training, and severely limited emotional response. I responded in the way I felt would do the most good.

O5-1: And how was that?

Doctor Gears: I went to speak with SCP-239-EN.

Interview Log x I239B-CK-SG-02, Date: 11-4-2008

(Forward to 00:42:18)

O5-1: Gears, god damn it, what did you say to her?

Doctor Gears: Sir, I do not understand your current agitation. The video record is in excellent condition, and the audio in question is 88% complete. You are already aware of what was said, and its effect. I don't…

O5-1: Don't. Don't you dare try to pull that with me. I know you Gears, and the logical bullshit you pull with everyone else will NOT work on me. I've seen your file, I've reviewed the event, so DON'T treat me like a goddamn moron. Now you answer me, and you answer me now, what did you SAY?!

Doctor Gears: (silence)

O5-1: Gears, what you did could potentially bring down the whole Foundation. What's more, you broke the goddamn SCP! What the hell were you thinking? She can do ANYTHING Gears. We want to keep her from experimenting, and you do this! You heartless freak, I swear if…

Doctor Gears: I understand your frustration, but I do not view it as warranted. I caused the breach of SCP for 239-EN; However, I did so in a way allowing for the re-instatement of SCP. I did not just tell her to do what I asked, thereby calling into question the current "Witch-child" control strategy. I used what resources I had available to extend the control strategy, and affect the end of hostilities initiated by Doctor Clef. SCP-239-EN remains unaware of the full extent of her abilities, only that they may be augmented by "Over Counsel Wizards" and their "emergency spell books".

O5-1: …what the hell are you talking about?

Doctor Gears: Doctor Clef had been attacked by the Great Darkness, a mass of formless evil that reached into our world. It had taken over Doctor Clef, and left only a few witches and wizards with any magic left. I, as an Over Council Wizard, was dispatched, along with the swordsman Kondraki, to subdue Clef and drive the evil from him. Working together, SCP-239-EN and I would be able to use an Emergency Spell book, which can only be used by two wizards at the same time, and only when the Great Darkness is around.

O5-1: …And she believed you?

Doctor Gears: Sir, with all due respect, she's eight. Her only question was if she would be allowed to learn to sword-fight as well.

O5-1: This is insane… you could have gotten everyone killed! What "emergency spells" did you have her do?

Doctor Gears: We started small, with the most basic spell that everyone learns first.

O5-1: …which is?

Doctor Gears: Magic Missile.

* * *

"_Damn it, Clef, stop this! I don't really want to kill you!"_

"_I… don't want to kill you either… don't want to kill anyone…"_

"_What the hell are you talking about? You just murdered two people! Look at yourself!"_

"_Had no choice… had to do it… she can change reality, Konny, she can make the world change just like that…"_

"_She's contained! What we're doing works!"_

"_No, it doesn't. It already failed… on me…"_

"_Clef, what the hell are you talking about?"_

"_Magic Missile!"_

_Three green explosive darts hit Doctor Clef, interrupting his presumably epic duel with Doctor Kondraki. SCP-239-EN and Doctor Gears flank Doctor Clef on the eastern side of Site-17._

"_You little brat! The O5s will terminate you for this!"_

"_Have you completely lost your mind, Alto?! You're the one carrying out an unauthorized termination order!"_

"_It will be authorized by O5-7, she can understand the danger that Type Greens like her are on the planet!"_

_Doctor Clef charges at the two, running like an anime neckbeard with SCP-1023-EN-ARC. It actually kind of looks like a crudely forged version of SCP-572-EN…at least Doctor Clef's weapon doesn't turn him into a weeaboo."_

_SCP-239-EN uses her reality warping powers to fire a plasma bolt at Doctor Clef. He blocks it with the sword, but the blast was strong enough to snap his blade. Clef beats a hasty retreat, but Doctor Kondraki and Professor Kain block him in._

"_We have to stop him, here and now, 239-EN. Do you remember what we have to do?"_

_She nods. Both SCP-239-EN and Doctor Gears try "casting" the "evil" out of Doctor Clef. It worked…and Doctor Clef was knocked out, but a black dragon looking similar to Alcar emerges from the unconscious Clef._

"_What now, Doctor Gears? This is the evil that was possessing Grand High Wizard Clef. How do we defeat it?"_

"_Right, we need to defeat the source of the evil. Professor Kain will deal with this instance. Right now, we need to get to safety!"_

_SCP-239-EN agrees and follows him to a panic room filled with emergency supplies._

"_There's got to be a spell in that emergency spell book that will help us. Look for one!"_

_SCP-239-EN begins flipping through the pages searching for something. While she does so, Doctor Gears pulls out a syringe of…something experimental that the Foundation had just created._

_**Class-E is not an amnestic. It is intentionally designed to put the individual into a drug induced coma permanently. It is to be used in cases where termination of an individual is not possible or preferable. Foundation staff of Level-3 or lower are not permitted to know the actual purpose of Class-E.**_

_**For all intents and purposes, Class-E rehabilitation is to be interpreted as entirely possible and any observed adverse effects are to be explained as being the rare exception rather than the desired outcome. Persons administering Class-E may only do so once during their employment as to prevent suspicion.**_

"_Doctor Gears, I think I found one!"_

_He hides the syringe._

"_Wait, really?!"_

"_Yes. It's called Orbis Terrarum Reversionis. It says this spell can only be used by members of the Wizard Magistrate. Maybe we could find one of them and they can cast the spell!"_

"_I know what that spell is. World Reversion is so dangerous that even the grand wizards on that council refuse to touch it for fear of causing irreparable damage to the planet! It is overkill for our current situation and is strictly prohibited unless facing off against an opposing class 4 or 5 reality bender."_

"_Is Doctor Clef a reality bender?"_

"_No one knows…but keep looking, that spell is too dangerous."_

"_Ok…"_

_She continues looking._

_Doctor Gears sidles up behind her and injects her with the Class-E COMATOSE "Amnestic". She is knocked into a coma._

* * *

Incident 239-B Clef-Kondraki Evidence 42 [DECLASSIFIED]

Excerpt from Audio Log, Observation Room for SCP-239-EN

10-15-2008, ████:██:██, 3 Weeks Before Incident.

[BACK]

Doctor Saghai: Hey, Cleffie, what's up?

Doctor Clef: Nothing much, just dropping by to check up on Coldplay.

Doctor Saghai: Coldplay?

Doctor Clef: 547-EN-D. He's petitioning to be allowed into Omega 7. Good kid, but too young. I came by to convince him to wait a few years, since he and I seem to get along pretty good. How is our little H███████ G██████?

Doctor Saghai: Her name is Sigurrós.

Doctor Clef: I know, just joking.

Doctor Saghai: She's doing all right. We've managed to implant the witch suggestion pretty deeply into her psyche. The number of out-of-control incidents is down to 5% of what it used to be. And she likes her witch hat and wands, too. Spends a lot of time sorting them out, giving them names, experimenting on which ones work best with which "spells." All bull, but we encourage it. It keeps her busy but…

Doctor Clef: … but?

Doctor Saghai: Well, she's been experimenting with "unsanctioned spells." We told her very sternly not to do it, but she tries anyway, when she thinks we aren't looking. We haven't told her about the cameras yet, so we try not to, but we're worried she might have another incident.

Doctor Clef: Hmmm. Maybe I can help.

Doctor Saghai: How so?

Doctor Clef: Well, if she's not going to listen to dear old Professor Kain and the other Wizard School teachers, maybe she'll listen to Grand Arbiter Clef, the very scary and very stern Wizard Magistrate from the Grand High Wizard Council, sent to discipline a very naughty Student Witch who's been breaking the rules.

Doctor Saghai: Think that'll work?

Doctor Clef: Well, you guys aren't going to do it. You like her too much. And hell, it's okay if she hates me, I'm never at Site-17. I'll be the bad cop, no problem.

Doctor Saghai: I'm still not sure.

Doctor Clef: Would you rather wait until a huge incident occurs and O5 orders a termination?

Doctor Saghai: True. If you think you can, go for it.

Doctor Clef: Trust me, when it comes to scaring women, I'm an expert.

Doctor Saghai: [laughter] No argument there.

Doctor Clef: Want me to do it now?

Doctor Saghai: Nah. She's watching "Sleeping Beauty" with Iris right now. Let's wait until they're done first.

Doctor Clef: "Sleeping Beauty?" Ever tell you I used to have a huge crush on Maleficent when I was a kid?

Doctor Saghai: You're shitting me.

Doctor Clef: Hell yeah, hot sorceress babe who can turn into a huge dragon? How sexy is that?

Doctor Saghai: I'm starting to see why you scare women.

* * *

"_You know why you are here. Agent Ukulele."_

"_Yes, because you two don't have the balls to ice these Type Greens. I've been trying to get you guys to let me terminate her before she became a problem. But you two wanted to go with Kondraki's plan!"_

"_Right, and that resulted in 239-B."_

"_Well, since everyone heard my after-action report, I'm sure that you can agree that SCP-239-EN is dangerous enough to have a termination order on her."_

"_We'll humor you."_

_O5-1 addresses the other members of the council._

"_All in favor of approving a termination order on SCP-239-EN?"_

_O5-3, O5-4, O5-7, O5-10, O5-11 and O5-12 raise their hands._

"_All opposed?"_

_O5-1, O5-2, O5-5, O5-6, O5-8, O5-9 raise their hands._

"_A tie. Well, we're going to need O5-13's vote…"_

_The council leaves, deliberates, and comes back._

"_O5-13 voted against. So, we have 6 for and 7 against. SCP-239-EN is to not be terminated at this time."_

"_Well, considering half of the council agrees with me, I consider this a win."_

"_Oh, we're not done yet, Alto."_

_Doctor Clef is a bit confused._

"_You didn't think we weren't going to punish you for going renegade, did you?"_

"_I suppose not. So, what Keter assignment do I get?"_

"_Well…we did find SCP-239-EN's diary during the cleanup of the shitstorm you caused."_

_Date: 11-01-2008_

_Dear Diary,_

_I did a bad thing today. I was in the garden, and I saw a dead bird and there was a nest of little chicks above it, and they were all crying for their mommy and I used the Vita spell to bring the bird back to life._

_I didn't mean to break the rules, but Grand High Wizard Clef told me that if I broke them again, he would banish me to the Netherworld for a hundred years. I'm afraid of Grand High Wizard Clef. He's so scary._

_I hope he doesn't find out. I don't want to die :(_

"_It seems to us that…you caused Incident 239-B."_

"_What? It's a lie! She's just trying to goad sympathy from you to save her own skin!"_

"_Is she? Maybe she's influencing us to punish you. Oh right, we can't ask her because Doctor Gears put her into a coma because of you trying to terminate her!"_

_O5-1 quiets the rest of the council._

"_So, does anyone want to change their votes?"_

_All dissenters except O5-7 and O5-11 raise their hands._

"_Are you serious? She's dangerous!" Both dissenters argue_

"_11 of us seem to disagree." O5-2 counters_

"_See, O5-7 still isn't swayed by this saccharine garbage! The fact she hasn't swapped sides proves I'm right!"_

"_Clef, enough!" O5-1 shouts_

"_This matter is settled. SCP-239-EN will not have been terminated. As for your Keter duty…I think SCP-296-EN should be a good enough punishment. Your task will be to remove all the dead bodies from there. If you don't die, we'll allow you to come back to work. Agreed?" O5-2 suggests_

"_Wow, Sophia. That's pure evil! I love it!" O5-7 admits_

_The remaining 11 members deliberate this punishment…_

_They agree that this is a sufficient punishment._

"_Ok. You heard O5-2! Get rid of those dead bodies in 296-EN! And don't come back until every last one is removed!"_

* * *

"Wow…so everything happened because you brought a bird back to life."

"Yeah."

"But how did you break out of the coma? Even if the burst brought you here, you should have still been in a coma."

"I don't know what happened, but my theory is that passing through that gateway made me wake up a little from the coma and that I used my reality warping powers to fully break out of it. I also used my anomaly to repair any atrophied limbs."

"That could actually work."

"It was night when that gateway spit me out in your house, but it was daytime when I got out. I think time works differently in your mall dimension."

"It does."

"Oh, and thanks for telling me that the pandemic ended."

"No problem. It was pretty anticlimactic. It didn't even leave Greenland! I had to teleport Vector back to the SCP dimension before she froze to death. Ironically, she tried to start spreading the infection in Greenland but she didn't have any cold resistance."

"Well, at least the infection was put on ice. Thanks for training me to keep my powers under control, Leni."

"You're welcome."

And with that little update, the reality warping duo are prepared to take on any threat that comes their way! There may be something dangerous coming soon, so it sure is a good thing they've been training for a while!


	28. Shni Chtherim

Immediately after that heart to heart, two Anomalous Bursts emerge just outside Site-1216! From the first one comes blue alien like creature with robes depicting a golden gear on them. Its eyes are a horizontal ellipse yellow and it has detached hands. Upon its head rests a seven-pointed gilded crown with a giant blue gem similar to a sapphire sticking out of it.

From the second gateway, a twelve-pointed tiara, blacker than an empty sky drops from it. It looks spiderlike in appearance and has demonic horns atop it. A single red eyelike structure is embedded in the center. That schizophrenic down the street can almost claim that they can hear sweet nothings emanating from the object. But what do they know, they hear voices all the time?

All of the Loud siblings (and SCP-239-EN) run out and see the strange creature that just breached their dimension.

"Agmaglori! Agmaglori!" Lily tries to warn them

Lincoln looks up and yes, they are not hallucinating! Magolor from Kirby's Return to Dreamland has somehow managed to break out of the video game world and into this comic book world that the Louds live in!

"I wonder if…"

Lincoln tries to use his 4th wall powers to "pause" the game. He succeeds.

{Magolor deceived Kirby and stole Halcandra's legendary treasure, the Master Crown! It's up to Kirby to save the universe.}

"No problem, we can just pry the Master Crown off of his head."

Leni tries to use a psionic blast to knock the crown off, but it is still on his head!

"It must be ingrained in his head. It's going to hurt a lot, but we can try tearing it off!"

Sigurrós tries yanking the Master Crown off of Magolor's head, but it still won't budge!

"Something must be up with that crown…"

"That's the Master Crown. It grants its wearer limitless power!"

Lincoln "pauses" the game again and sees if there is more information. There is.

_**Vs. Master Crown**_

_A crown crafted by the Ancients, it grants the wearer limitless power! The crown may be evil, sentient and can shapeshift, but you know what they say; One crown to rule them all…_

"The Master Crown must be emanating so much power that it is immune to reality warping attacks!"

"So, what do we do, Leni?"

"We fight on its level! We need to access the Kirbyverse and use Kirby's copy abilities to destroy that crown!"

Lincoln "unpauses" and immediately Leni sends them into Another Dimension to avoid the destruction this battle will inevitably cause.

* * *

"lmg hrl sgej ez fbeedbpih, lmc ejl, mjd mbb ez oepg dlingli nbb flseal hgpl!"

"Can you make me and Sam a couple?"

"Ni Sam m vngb?"

"Yes."

"Ez sepgil, oep dlvljlgmhl! n bncl oep!"

The eye of the demonic diadem shakes its eye as if it was nodding.

Luna attempts to pick up the crown and…

"Luna!"

"What?"

"We have bigger problems at hand! Drop the crown and let's go!"

"Iepjdi bncl oep rmwl m wgefbla. N smj rlbw oep iebwl nh...tpih lmg al!"

"That crown is obviously evil, Luna. Drop it and help us!"

"Ie n'a lwnb flsmpil n beec bncl m iwndlg mjd rmwl dlaej regji nhr mj lwnb lol nj nh? iepjdi bncl irl'i gmsnih he al."

"The crown says you're racist, Leni."

"Racist?! Crowns aren't supposed to **talk**, Luna! There must be some type of demon possessing it. Now leave the demon to its demons and stop wasting time!"

Leni thinks about it for a moment…

"Wait, how did you know the crown was saying I was racist? Did Lucy teach you to speak demon?"

"Uh, I'm right here, guys."

Lucy's sudden appearance freaks everyone out.

"No, the crown speaks English, not demon."

"Or the demon is manipulating your mind. Leni will seal the cursed crown, just drop it!"

"Uh guys, Magalor is destroying us right now, so can some of you…help us? We're fighting a losing battle right now!"

Leni and Lucy go off to help the others fight Magalor, while Luna sets the crown atop her head!

"Oli! Mi m glmgd, ljteo vlhhnjv zpscld ejl anbbnej hnali ewlg mh ejsl!"

Luna is hit with an immediate wave of euphoria. Is this the power of DAM-230? No, it's more like someone shoved SCP-297-EN in her and set the power to high!

* * *

Meanwhile, back to the main threat here.

"Ok, we need decent copy abilities to counter Magolor's energy blasts. Lily won't participate, because she's a baby and is an easy target."

Leni warps Lily back home.

"Since leaf is one of the most tactile abilities, and since the main way do deal damage is to dance, I say Lisa should get this one."

Lisa gets the leaf copy ability.

"So, how do I use it?"

"Breakdance. But you can also throw leaves like kunai, erect a leaf tower, and even hide in a pile of leaves to avoid damage!"

"I must admit that sounds pretty cool."

"Next, Lola should get the poison ability, as not only does it fit her personality, she can spit poison bubbles, emit a fume tower, and can even surf on the sludge itself!"

Lola gets the poison copy ability.

"Seriously, poison is the best you could come up with for me?"

"Since Lana loves animals, she can become one!"

Lana gets the animal copy ability.

"All you can do is drill rush enemies with your claws, its super easy to use."

"Oh, then I should be able to get the ghost ability, then."

"If it didn't suck. Ghost allows one to possess normal enemies, and if there aren't any around, you're just kind of stuck. However, I think I found something better, ESP. It allows the user to attack with psychokinetic blasts!"

Lucy gets the ESP copy ability.

"Do I really have to wear the hat?"

"Yes. Now on to Lincoln, he should get the most versatile copy ability, so he gets the spark ability!"

Lincoln gets the spark copy ability!

"Wait? The **spark **ability? All I can do is shock people that get close to me!"

Somewhere, a Sabrepulse song is heard breaking the will of yet another JSAB or Project Arrythmia player.

"Not this time. In Return to Dreamland, the devs fused spark and plasma together!"

"So, I got one of the most overpowered abilities in the game? Now that's shocking!"

"Puns are my department, Linc!" Luan chides

"Since Lynn is the strongest one of us, it only makes sense that she gets the strongest ability…"

"Aww, yeah! Fighter time!"

"Hammer."

Lynn gets the hammer copy ability.

"Hammer?! I wanted fighter! Oh well, at least this ability is super overpowered! Come on Sparky, let's see who can deal more damage!"

"You're on!"

"Luna is…doing something…I guess, So Luan's ability is circus, for obvious reasons."

"Oh, do I get to wear clown makeup?"

"No, just a stupid looking big top hat."

Luan gets the circus copy ability.

"I'm giving myself archer, because it also allows me to hide, while Lori gets whip."

Leni gets the archer copy ability.

Lori gets the whip copy ability.

"Why do I have a cowboy hat?"

"Because you have the whip ability. Not only can you whip enemies, you can also ride it like a helicopter."

"Oh."

"And just to set the mood, I'll activate a cheat code."

Lisa inputs the cheat code.

M-i-d-o-r-i G-u-r-i-n

"Yanderedev! Yanderedev!"

"Huh, I must have inputted it wrong. Let me try this."

みどりぐりん

The Loud siblings' appearance changes to match the Kirbyverse.

"Alright, let's get this over with."

With nine copy abilities facing off against Magolor and the Master Crown, this should be easy!

"Remember, the Master Crown is the target, not Magolor." Leni reminds them

* * *

The Master Crown changes Magolor's form into a red and dark blue miasma. His horns and the belt covering his mouth turn a royal purple. His arms are surrounded by six-pointed suns with ancient Halcandran markings on them. The Master Crown wiggles on the top of his head as Magolor rans down shadowy balls on the Louds. The battle has begun.

Master Crown HP: 25000  
Magolor HP: 10000

Magolor casts a trio of shadow balls. As Lola counters them with a poison wave, Leni manages to take a pot shot at the crown for 40 damage, Lucy casted A PK blast dealing 100 damage, while Lincoln calls down a thunderbolt, striking the Master Crown and Magolor for 60 damage each.

Master Crown HP: 24800  
Magolor HP: 9940

Teleporting around the arena, Magolor fire another trio of energy balls, this time at the southeastern side from him. Lisa counters with a leaf tower, damaging both of them for 70 damage. Lori manages to whip the Master crown 4 times for a total of 200 damage. Leni managed to knock 5 arrows into it for 200 damage. Lucy manages to unleash another blast for 100 damage, while Lynn manages to get an 8 hit hammer flip for 400 damage!

Master Crown HP: 23830  
Magolor HP: 9870

Next, he attempts to skewer them with energy-based spikes. Since everyone is not Kirby, they can't float and are forced to guard against the attack, except Lisa and Leni, who evade the attack. They counter attack with a combined total of 2190 damage!

Master Crown HP: 21670  
Magolor HP: 9840

He fires off a quartet of energy balls, two on each side. Lola and Lisa counter with their tower attacks, dealing 140 damage to both. Luan throws a bowling pin at the crown for 50 damage. Lucy unleashes another PK blast for 100 damage. Lana drill rushes at the crown for 250 damage. Lynn does another hammer flip, a 6 hit one for 300 damage.

Master Crown HP: 20830  
Magolor HP: 9700

Magolor ducks behind the background and fires of five fire shots from his hand. Luckily, The Louds can access all 3 dimensions as opposed to Kirby's 2! They take the opportunity to counterattack for 3180 damage in total!

Master Crown HP: 17710  
Magolor HP: 9640

Teleporting to the foreground, Magolor fires off a sextet of energy balls. Lola creates an opening on one side as half off the Louds attack! Lisa fires of 7 bursts of leaf kunai, 14 of which hit the crown and 7 hit Magolor for a combined total of 840 damage. Lola fires a toxic bubble at it for 30 damage. Lucy fires off another PK blast for 100 damage. Lynn does another 8 hit hammer flip for 400 damage. Lori whips the crown 5 times for a total of 250 damage.

Master Crown HP: 15460  
Magolor HP: 9430

Magolor generates a portal and Sphere Doomers come out of it! The Louds sidestep out of the way as Leni and Lori deal a total of 2500 damage to the Master Crown!

Master Crown HP: 12960  
Magolor HP: 9430

Next, he teleports the background and summons a black hole. But the Louds can once again take advantage of the 3-dimension advantage they have to run away from it. Black holes in Kirby games are weird. And it's a good thing too. If they got sucked up into a black hole, it would be a one hit kill to them! Sadly, they are only able to get the Master Crown down to 12500 HP before it enters phase two!

It destroys its hapless vessel and mutates it using a black green fire. The Master crown itself shapeshifts into seven-pointed silver antler like monstrosity, with the leftmost and rightmost points shift into gnarled horns. The blue gem is now redder than blood. The vessel roars as it begins to attack.

"A sad shell possessed by the limitless power of the Master Crown, no more than a manifestation of the crown itself."

Meanwhile…a runic charm is seen pulsing in the background…

Master Crown HP: 12500  
Magolor Soul HP: 0

His first attack is to summon random Kirby enemies, they only manage to deal 200 damage to the Master Crown. Next, it teleports into the background and attempts to skewer them with vine-like energy coming from four portals. The Louds scatter to the left and right sides of the arena before they come out. He then uses 8 of the portals, 3 on the ground and 4 on the top of the arena. They move under the top portals and duck under the skewers!

Master Crown HP: 12300

"Hey, since the Master Crown killed Magolor, maybe attacking its body will now do damage to the Master Crown itself!"

The Louds stop holding back and begin unleashing their most powerful attacks on it! The Master Crown summons a septet of energy balls. They lock onto Lincoln, who counters it with a lightning strike, allowing the others to deal massive damage to the entity! It follows up with another septet, this time from the left and right sides of the arena. Lucy and Lana clear these with a PK blast and a drill rush, respectively. The other Louds continue attacking and manage to deal 3030 damage in total!

Master Crown HP: 9270

The entity fires an energy blast into a portal and hides in the background as it watches a whole bunch of portals redirect the blast. Time for another counterattack! 5000 damage was dealt in total!

Master Crown HP: 4270

Next, it flings itself into a portal and tries to recreate Portal by redirecting itself with portals. It's so fast that it wasn't able to be damaged. Next, he goes into the background and creates a black fire blast. The blast kind of looks like Kirby. The Louds sidestep and counterattack for 1250 damage!

Master Crown HP: 3020

He stands to the right side of the arena and fires a massive energy blast! You know the drill. Sidestep and counterattack. Since it fired the blast for 10 full seconds, they were able to finish the battle by destroying the Master Crown.

The puppet bursts into black fire until it turns back into Magolor. The Master Crown shatters and Magolor teleports away back into his home dimension in a bright light.

"We did it! The Master Crown has been destroyed!"

* * *

"It is a shame that you only destroyed one of the crowns."

"Wait who said that…?"

Leni and Sigurrós teleport the Louds back to their home dimension. Since the Master Crown has been destroyed, this threat has been neutralized…

Right?

Wrong.

Upon arriving back home, everyone notices Luna turning ever more demonic. They also notice the crown on her head.

"We were so busy focusing on Magolor that we didn't watch Luna! She was compelled to put on the crown."

"This has to be an SCP object. I have to cross reference it with all dimensions to find a match. Maybe Sophia will know something about this!" Lisa notes as she leaves

"Luna, remove the crown!"

"Luna is gone!"

The crown uses its puppet to unleash a wave of white fire! The Louds barely dodge it.

"Come in O5-2, possible containment breach…"

"What does the anomaly look like?"

"A black tiara with a red eye on it."

"Doesn't sound like one of ours, but I heard of another dimension that may have something similar. I'll try to patch you through…"

The call is redirected to another line…

"BRSStarJV here, what seems to be your problem?"

Lisa explains the situation to the man.

"That does sound like something! Let me call my friend at the UN, he knows more about this stuff than I do."

Meanwhile, outside…

Sigurrós tries launching a bolt of light at the demon. It deflects off the crown.

"Foolish child! This crown is indestructible!"

_The crown may be indestructible…but the demon isn't. If only we could get it out of the crown…_

"UN Secretary General Kirby Yeo speaking. I heard from my friend that you think one of our objects is missing. It appears you are right. Ok, that object is UNDB-517…it is known by many names, but it is called the Hellfire Crown in our dimension. We just recently renamed it from the Crown of Vengeance."

CODNAME: UNDB-517/KTE-0042-Knicknack-Burrhus: Hellfire Crown  
ANOMALY TYPE: Cursed Artifact  
THREAT RATING: S  
DESCRIPTION: A black tiara infused with demonic energy, it supposedly laid waste to some countries in the 1500s. The crown itself is indestructible and has changed the wearer's psyche to be more bloodlusty. It also grants the wearer demon powers.

"If you can recover it, can you somehow send it back to us? UNITE hasn't mastered interdimensional travel yet…oh, I have to go. There's a big UN meeting. Duty calls."

Secretary General Yeo hangs up.

"By the way, our dimension is NEU-DAY."

With that, both of them hang up.

* * *

Back outside, it seems like there's no way to fight this demon. They can't kill the puppet, since it was their sister. They also can't destroy the crown, since it just as durable as the Reality Stone! What can they do?

"Wait, where is Sigurrós?"

The screen cuts to a fiery hellscape. Sigurrós stands in front of a massive demon with pointed bat wings, a forked tail in the shape of a heart and drill like horns. It also has very pronounced sexual organs that parents have to shield their children's virgin eyes from. It must be a follower of Asmodeus…

"You dare to challenge me in my domain, child?"

Sigurrós tries to shout something like an exorcism to the demon…she fails horribly and only managed to annoy it.

"Hah! You're not even doing the exorcism right! Kid, I've been killing people since the 1500s, ever since that queen sold her soul to me to stave off death. What is it with people making deals with the devil to gain immortality anyway, it's overrated! It's still better than doing it because your bored or to fuel your gambling addiction."

The demon pulls out a contract.

"Ah, this is the one."

It promptly burns up.

"I guess the contract's void, now that it's burned up…"

It reappears in its hand.

"Not! Despite what the 30s would have you believe; These contracts are fireproof and are only negotiable on one side…take a guess on who!"

Oh great, a demon with a sense of humor. This is worse than just being killed by it.

"Tell you what, kid. If you can defeat me in a boss battle, I might let your friend's dumb sister go. Do we have a deal?"

Even Sigurrós isn't stupid enough to fall for that! Didn't they just explain to never deal with the devil?

"I'll take that as a yes."

It shapeshifts into a wizard looking titan wearing a skull helmet. It has what looks like the eye of Sauron composing its chest. It has disembodied hands and what appears to be mirrors surrounding him.

"En guarde, kid!"

Sigurrós fires off five blasts of varying powers. Each one shattering the demon.

"Oh no, you got me…"

It violently shatters over her, trying to cut her on its shards.

"Actually…"

The shards reform into a massive eye of Sauron.

"No, you don't! Come on, its never this easy kid! I'm even going easy on you, since my meat puppet isn't even attacking your friends outside! I can only imagine her face as those dummies out there try prying the crown of her head, but it's still stuck on!"

"Stop me if you've heard this one before…"

It speaks in boringese. If it's trying to kill her, it might have actually worked…it feels as though Sigurrós lost three hours of her life that she'll never get back.

"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul."

It forms "eyelids" that quickly sprout teeth like appendages as it rushes at her. A sword forged from holy light emerges from the Deus ex Machina that is Sigurrós' imagination. There is only one way to win. Attack it until it dies and before you die. The demon had many attacks such as an eye laser, moving mirrors around, summoning enemies, deflecting a laser off mirrors, using pyrokinesis, making one insane just as the One Ring did. Despite all of that, she eventually managed to win. We all know she's going to win anyway, so let's just skip to when she wins.

"How?! How are you not dead yet?! Fine, since you won, I'll release your friend! Its not even worth my time!"

Back outside, the Louds are still trying to pry the crown off. This time, it slipped off easily.

"I'll just find some other idiot to possess anyway! Its not like you can destroy the crown anyway! Now get out!"

The demon forces Sigurrós out of the crown and back into the real world.

"Sigurrós, where were you?"

"Making a deal with a devil."

"What?! You should never do that!"

"No, its ok. I got it to release Luna."

The group looks at the Hellfire Crown. The eye looks cracked. Lisa comes outside.

"Ok, this artifact is from dimension NEU-DAY. Leni, if you would…

Leni generates a portal to that dimension. They send the crown through it. It ends up, by sheer coincidence, back at UNITE headquarters.

"Oh, hey. Here it is. It was behind this shelf all along."

* * *

Meanwhile…in dimension NEU-DAY…

"I'd like to address the nation today and say that ever since that day in Eastpoint, Maine, those lives lost in that shadow beast attack have not died in vain. Ever since the creation of UNITE, many of the anomalies in our world are contained in a place that will far away from human civilization. As some of these anomalies…"

The secretary general's speech trails off as a suave James Bond type character overlooks him on several monitors. This red-haired stud is Joshua Faithlight, a level 1 enforcer in UNITE. This elite soldier is a 22-year-old prodigy. Known for his pragmatism on the battlefield and genuine interest in the anomalous, he is essentially the Doctor Gears of this strange dimension, just without the congenital analgesia and lack of social affect. Yes, he is quite known within UNITE for being a goofball.

Ordinarily, he'd be helping contain anomalies for that group, but today. He answers to a higher calling. Getting called for security detail on protecting UN Secretary General Yeo is a high honor for him, so of course he had to accept this once in a lifetime opportunity! He's in an observation room, monitoring the UN building from all angles, so if anything is fishy, he can alert the actual security.

"Nicolia, the phoenix has risen from the ashes. I repeat, the phoenix has risen from the ashes." He says into a walkie talkie.

"So, about the plan…"

No response.

"I can't believe she would refuse to accept this job! If it wasn't for him, UNITE wouldn't have even existed in the first place!"

He still tries radioing her.

"Nicolia, are you there?"

"Operation Brood Parasitism…"

Still no response. Joshua scoffs at this and continues watching the secretary general give his speech.

He suddenly sees a large group of people entering through the UN's front door. They're dressed spiffily.

"Possible hostiles at the front entrance. Send backup."

He leaves to investigate this himself…meanwhile, it appears this group has an enforcer of their own.

The group of men make their way to the Secretary Council room where secretary president Yeo has just finished given a rousing speech and was just about to call his special guest when…

Complete pandemonium erupts as the group takes out several SAR 21's and begin killing the security guards at the UN.

"Secretary General Yeo, it's not safe here! We have to get you to a safe room!"

One of the guards manages to kill one of the twenty goons. But he takes advantage by "seizing", holding down the trigger and spraying bullets everywhere. Some of the UN members got hit by the stray bullets before he dies for real.

"Anda tidak akan melarikan diri, Mr. Yeo!"

He realizes these guys must be a part of the Singaporean mafia. Ever since he got elected, he recommended the government crack down on these gangs. This must be a revenge for crippling their enterprise.

"You won't get away with this!"

"Kami sudah mempunyai."

One of the mafia members suddenly speaks English.

"Consider this your impeachment. Surrender, and we won't blow your brains out."

"You think you can control me?!"

One of the goons smashes his SAR 21 into the back of the secretary general's head, knocking him out.

"Baiklah, kita mendapat apa yang kita datang untuk. memberitahu bahawa perang Dewi untuk wire memindahkan pembayaran kami."

The mafia goons take him back to their hideout in Singapore and rough him up a little for his interference in their affairs.

"Remember, he's supposed to be alive."

"Saya tahu, kita hanya akan menjadikan dia seorang pesakit tetap di Gleneagles. Sebaik-baiknya nazak."

Even though 12 of their members were killed during the breach, they got the secretary general, and 300,000 Singaporean dollars for the job were wire transferred to an offshore bank account in the Cayman Islands.

* * *

"Now for phase 2…"

Back at the UN Security Hall, everyone is still shaken up from the attack. But much like a phoenix rising from the ashes, a man tries to quell the raucous.

"Everyone, I managed to escape those armed goons thanks to some reinforcements entering through a back entrance."

"Secretary General Yeo? You survived?"

"Yes. Not even those mafia goons will stop us. Now, as I was just about to say…UNITE wouldn't be as effective without its highly trained agents, and there's one that I would like to congratulate…"

Meanwhile, Joshua has gotten a call that despite the attack, Secretary General Yeo has escaped and the thugs have fled the building with police in hot pursuit. He begins heading toward the observation room when he gets another call.

"This is Joshua Faithlight, who is this?"

"Kirby Yeo."

"Secretary General? Where are you?!"

"Those mafia goons have locked me up somewhere in Singapore!"

"But you're on stage right now?"

"That's a body double! Look, this is all a ploy by Director Ares to restructure UNITE. Apparently, she and a few agents aren't happy just containing the anomalies. They want to completely eradicate them from our planet!"

"What?!"

"She paid the Singaporean mafia to kidnap me and replace me with a body double! Right now, loyalists and revolutionaries are engaged in a civil war! Joshua, I'm entrusting you to preserve the fate of UNITE! Stop Director Ares' power grab!"

"But how do you know all of that?"

"The thugs said their plans in Malay, as well as a few UNIITE agents meeting up with them."

"Hey what are you doing?!"

"It's up to you now!"

The phone disconnects.

With their plan revealed, Joshua rushes to expose the body double, but only makes it around halfway before encountering a familiar face.

"Oh, you finally showed up!"

"Yeah, I heard about the attack and thought I should help out."

"Look, what I'm about to say is going to sound crazy, but Secretary General Yeo has been kidnapped and replaced with a body double! This was a ploy by Director Ares to restructure UNITE into some sort of anomalous genocide group!"

"That sounds insane!"

"I need your help in case she has anymore traps set for us."

"Sounds like something she'd do. Ok, you lead the way."

He feels like something's up…he turns around and sees his former friend taking out her Type 14 CIWS, just a few millimeters from his head. It appears to be electrically charged from all the UN's lights.

"What are you doing, Nicolia?!"

"Finishing the fight."

"Nice Halo reference, but seriously, what is wrong with you?!"

"For being the smart one in our duo, you can be really dense sometimes! Kirby Yeo might have recruited you to preserve UNITE, but I can't let that happen."

"Are you working for her?"

"Not by choice. I personally hate her guts, but her restructuring is for the betterment of humanity! No longer will the anomalous plague humanity! We can fight back! Join us, and we can make the world a better place!"

Joshua is infuriated at this notion.

"Even the harmless ones?"

"Can't take any chances, Faithlight. These are all preemptive strikes. Kill them before they have the chance to kill you. Humanity was unprepared for the shadow beast attack on Eastpoint. But now, once we master extradimensional travel, we can completely eradicate this invasive species and ensure another Eastpoint incident ever happens again!"

"KTE-0937-Velveteen."

"Now you're just making stuff up."

"Would you poke a bear with a stick?"

"If the bear will be killed by it, then yes."

Joshua shakes his head at his former partner.

"You of all people should understand that eradication is the only measure! Those shadow beasts should be eradicated, every last one of them!"

"Even that Neu girl?"

"Especially her! The only reason we're still working with her is because we don't have the technology to kill these things! Besides, she's like the lead shadow beast."

"There's only one way this ends…"

"I agree."

Nicolia charges her G-13 DEER while Joshua takes out his Fenris .50 auto-revolver.

_That weapon is devastating at close range…but it does have a weakness._

Nicolia tries rushing at Joshua, who deftly gets out of her range. He quickly fires a shot at the battery pack charging it.

**BOOM!**

_4 shots left. If I can trick him into wasting those bullets…_

"Grr. Why can't you understand that these anomalies are a blight on humanity?!"

Joshua switches to his X4 Electro Baton.

_Engaging Nicolia Kansa in close combat might be a suicide mission but maybe it will allow for a feint!_

"You really must be suicidal! There's no more heroes to save you this time!"

In a scene reminiscent of a shonen anime, the blade and baton clash. Both of them continue to strike blows at one another, each one countered and parried by the other, sparks between the weapons begin to fly. Both of them reach for their spare weapons to break the stalemate. Nicolia was faster and launches an ice infused punch into his gut. Surprisingly, he doesn't instantly die from this, what with all of the icicles bursting inside him. Too bad Joshua doesn't have power armor like Nicolia does.

"An ice element?! Impossible…"

"Your psycho girlfriend modified this gauntlet. Now it has 18 different elements infused with it. That was cyan…want to go for black?"

"She's not my girlfriend, but I do think she is a yandere."

"You think?!"

_I don't even need to fight him anymore…I win._

Joshua is shown heavily bleeding from that ice punch. Nicolia almost feels sorry for him.

"You should have joined us, Joshua. The new age would have been great."

She leaves to join the UN ceremony. With the last of his strength he manages to call someone.

"Hello? Wait this number…red-haired guy, is that you?"

"Yeah, listen…UNITE has changed. I recommend going into hiding."

"What's going on?"

"Our director…instituted a kill policy. Tried to stop them…"

"Kill policy? What do you mean?"

"UNITE has fallen…I'm sorry."

Joshua bleeds out before the call can be completed.

"Red haired guy…?"

The call disconnects from the other end.

* * *

Back at the UN hall.

"Now, gracing us with her presence is the director of UNITE, Ms. Ares."

A red-haired woman approaches the stage.

"Director, what are your plans for UNITE?"

"Well, UNITE has been doing quite well dealing with these anomalies. However, it is not enough. As some of the agents have suggested, we need to be even more proactive in dealing with these threats. As such, we've restructured UNITE into the Crimson Ocean. From now on, all anomalous threats are on a kill list. To protect humanity, we need to launch several preemptive strikes against them!"

The crowd cheers. As Director Ares steps down, Nicolia arrives.

"So, how's our number one enforcer for the Crimson Ocean doing?"

She looks kind of sad.

"Killed another dissident."

"Excellent. Soon, UNITE will change for the better!"

…

"Isn't it great? You'll finally be able to get your revenge! I know that the Eastpoint attack killed your fiancée. Well now, you can get the opportunity to genocide the whole species!"

Both of them head back to the new Crimson Ocean headquarters. They already redecorated the place. Nicolia gazes at the new logo. A blood red wave with a pretentious Latin motto under it.

"Nostrae historiae est cruentam dexteram, quid ad nos pauci magis liters?!"

Nicolia remembers when Joshua remarked that her life is similar to something he saw in a movie once. He said that the movie was pretty good…she wouldn't know since she never watched it.

"Just because you are a bad guy doesn't mean you are a **bad **guy, right?" She says to herself

The codex has been updated since the restructuring of UNITE. Nicolia takes a look at it.

NAME: TNH-001/PTE-9318-Yellow: Merida Neu  
ANOMALY TYPE: Human  
THREAT RATING: C  
NOTES: Merida is well versed in almost all forms of martial arts. Combined with her adept knowledge of the sword, and you have the makings of a truly deadly opponent. Only engage when in the company of multiple Enforcers.  
DESCRIPTION: Merida appears to be a normal human, even though she is competent in many martial arts, she is possibly affiliated with the new terrorist group, Cerulean Earth. She may also be affiliated with Lauren Machina Industries, another GOI…despite this, she has no anomalous powers.

NAME: TNH-002/KTE-6966-L'Engle-Black-Bosch: Magilily Neu  
ANOMALY TYPE: Extradimensional Being  
THREAT RATING: SSS+  
NOTES: All necessary force multipliers are needed to capture Magilily. Refrain from active conversations with her. Is immune to being completely incinerated.  
DESCRIPTION: Irrelevant, you'll know if you find her.

NAME: TNH-003/KTE-4435-Corona-Whitebuster: Sony Neu  
ANOMALY TYPE: Shadow Beast  
THREAT RATING: SS  
NOTES: Since she is the only way we can deal with shadow beasts, we need her alive until we can kill these things ourselves.  
DESCRIPTION: to distinguish her from another shadow beast, she has turquoise highlights and her shadow form is a bipedal black female angel.

NAME: TNH-004/UTE-4980-Fiji: Kai Neu  
ANOMALY TYPE: Mermaid/Merfolk  
THREAT RATING: E  
NOTES: Her existence may be proof of larger mermaid/merfolk communities out there. As for her specifically, she has a bunch of adaptations to escape danger, making elimination difficult.  
DESCRIPTION: She has platinum blonde hair and blue gems on her chest and head. Her scales are normally purple and blue but can change.

NAME: UNDB-?/KTE-3812-Cetus: "Abyss 1"  
ANOMALY TYPE: Mutated Selachimorpha  
THREAT RATING: B  
NOTES: Apparently, KTE-6966-L'Engle-Black-Bosch brought it into our dimension as some sort of prank when she lost control of it. Assumed to be released back into its home dimension.  
DESCRIPTION: Abyss 1 is a shark like creature with four webbed feet. Yellow streaks run across its fins and tail. It has tiny beady white eyes. The creature is a big as a bus.

NAME: TNH-005/PTE-1291-Yellow: Arie Neu  
ANOMALY TYPE: Human  
THREAT RATING: A  
NOTES: If the intel gathered is to believed, Arie is a technological genius capable of inventions that could potentially exceed our own. Further investigation into this individual is required.  
DESCRIPTION: Arie is a normal…ish human with enhanced technical abilities. She may be able to manufacture weapons for any opposing GOIs. More research required, but because of this, she is a threat that needs to be eliminated soon.

NAME: TNH-006/KTE-8582-Yellow-Typhon: K'lynn Neu  
ANOMALY TYPE: Artificial Alpha-human  
THREAT RATING: S+  
NOTES: Current location is unknown. If she is indeed the same individual as Subject K-65, then caution is advised when attempting to approaching her.  
DESCRIPTION: Assumed to be the sole survivor of a super soldier project gone horribly wrong, she is a cybernetic killing machine equipped with several weapons as well as Diclonius vectors emitted from a phase energy core. She appears to be a brown-haired teenager with a pink bow in her hair.

NAME: UNDB-518/LTE-3242-Blackwood-Bosch: Lucida Loud  
ANOMALY TYPE: Demon  
THREAT RATING: B  
NOTES: Individual demonstrated both pyrokinesis and telekinetic powers. However, separation of the crown from the victim's head has caused the daemonic form (sans powers) to subside. No further escalation required.  
DESCRIPTION: Luna Loud under the influence of the Hellfire Crown. It turned her into a purple demon. Black wings, spiky tail, classic demon looks. Threat was eliminated once the crown was removed.

NAME: UNDB-519/KTE-6999-Blackwoodchild: The Hellfire Queen  
ANOMALY TYPE: Former Human  
THREAT LEVEL: S (with UNDB-517), A (back in 1500s), C (presumably now)  
NOTES: Without the crown and her army, she's effectively powerless. Right now, she entombed in a metal coffin sealed with a magical spell.  
DESCRIPTION: Unknown, she hasn't been seen since the 1500s and was thought to be a myth until the Omega Violet incident.  
PLAN FOR DESTRUCTION: Nuking England. If its near Stonehenge, we might destroy some vampire bones, too!

The rest of the codex entries are locked…I guess they haven't updated them all yet.

And that is the little snippet of this dimension. It doesn't seem like things are going well here…but this is another story. And now, we return back to dimension TLH-SCP-PTB-1415. What chaos will happen next?


	29. Nirjara

**Immortal cyborg clones created from the flesh of a dead god, Tau-5 utilizes esoteric and experimental Foundation weaponry to investigate and contain thaumaturgic, magical, and psionic threats. – Mobile Task Force Tau 5, "Samsara" description**

Since the France incident, everyone now knows about the existence of the anomalous on the world. Key word being everyone, because now, an ancient evil lays festering in a mansion in the rich people's district of Royal Woods, Huntington Manor. This isn't some eldritch horror (though we wouldn't fault you if you thought so.) No, this antagonist is more…human. We see the obesely rotund bastard parading around his mansion.

Any Loud House veteran knows that this is the heir to the tetherball fortune, Lord Tetherby. While we were busy tackling the Anomalous Bursts, this silent antagonist has been single handedly fortifying Huntington Manor's security. He found out from other rich people that some boorish types from outside the gate manage to trick the guard and trick or treat here on Halloween. Ever since then, there's been an increase in poor people, and if there's one thing rich people can't stand, it's poor people (and taxes, but that's not important here). Most Huntington Manor types don't mind trick or treaters on Halloween, but Tetherby's thinks these are just poor people looking for handouts.

He has heard from word of mouth that the first trick or treaters have impersonated masters Alistair and Nigel from England. He has a feeling that this is that white haired degenerate that won that mustard contest. Still can't believe he almost invited a poor person to a gala, absolutely disgusting! The first wave of defense is bio-organic stopgaps! We're talking DNA, retina scans, fingerprint IDs, the whole package! Sure, the rich people might see this as an inconvenience, but it's to keep the boorish from invading their exclusive community!

However, ever since the Anomalous Bursts have been appearing more and more frequently, he has invested several millions of his tetherball fortune to fund a private military army, similar to Blackwater from NCIS. His inspiration for this was when he saw a woman in SWAT gear asking around for someone. He also heard of a raid on the Fanbase's compound. Even though everyone was amnesticized, it was kind of suspicious that everyone related to that group was either killed or arrested. He should thank the group responsible personally! No one could stand those crazy degenerates. Well, since he would have to pay people to protect this community, he decided to start his own. No really, he decided to make a PMC out of robots, he doesn't have to pay them and they can be reused, it's genius!

Gathering a group of top roboticists, he enacts what he calls project Nirjara. Nirjara is supposed to be this universe's version of Τ5, Samsara. Tetherby had made it so that all robots are able to remember any of dead versions memories to adapt to combat situations. He has around 50,000 of them patrolling Huntington Manor and another 50,000 in reserve. They are equipped with top of the line equipment are there to eradicate all anomalies and poor people from the premises. There is even a warning that "trespassers will be shot".

Not only that, he sprung for military transport and even "the good stuff". Stuff like those missile defense systems, artillery launchers, surface to air missiles, MQ-1 PREDATOR drones. In fact, Huntington Manor looks more like a military base than a rich people community. Anything to eradicate these pesky anomalies. And it only cost around 150 million dollars for all this stuff, barely a dent in his fortune! The only mercy that Tetherby granted was that the Nirjara PMC cannot leave Huntington Manor. The reason for this is so they don't search and destroy anomalies and poor people outside, because otherwise it will be a bloodbath!

"Are the defenses active?"

"Yes sir, general Tetherby!"

"STA-missiles, artillery, MQ-1 PREDATORS?"

"All operational and armed!"

"Excellent! Remember, only anomalous and poor people inside the community are to be annihilated."

"Directive confirmed for absolute defense, sir!"

Tetherby continues monitoring the gate to see if anyone would be stupid enough to try and breach it.

"What the heck man, we don't need all this security!"

"I don't think we have enough security."

"You've turned our paradise into a warzone!"

"You heard that boorish dotard that somehow become our president. We need to protect ourselves from the anomalous. This will ensure that our community will never be breached."

"What about the trick or treaters next Halloween?"

"They are invaders, they need to be eradicated!"

"You're willing to eradicate children?! You psychopath!"

"The poor are a disease on this planet, just like the anomalous. If they keep to their side and we keep to ours, they won't get annihilated!"

The other rich person leaves, leaving Tetherby to his devices, after monitoring that no one has approached the gate, he leaves, not noticing he passed under a rainbow light of a closing Anomalous Burst, and of course, this fat bastard got anomalous powers. Luckily, his power is literally terrible.

He makes it back to his mansion and/or command bunker running the Nirjara project. As he's monitoring the progress of defending this community, he notices a pile of money where it wasn't before.

"Huh, what's this doing here?"

He tries massing with the air around him and to his surprise, the air around it materializes into currency. Specifically, this time, US dollars.

"Yes, I can turn air into money! This power is actually kind of lame, but cool! Can it be any currency I want?"

He tries again, this time it is Chinese yuan.

"It can! This is amazing."

He then realizes the inconvenient truth of this situation.

"Wait! This means I have an anomaly. This means Nirjara will shoot me for being anomalous! There's only one way this ends…

He gets to his private chambers and enters a secret combination into what looks to be a safe. Inside is a fully chambered magnum.

"I never thought I would have to use this."

The last thing heard is a gunshot.


	30. Secondary Testing

**"You draw one sister and you think you are done, but then you have to draw twelve more sisters too." -Epitaph for some art project Lincoln Loud did**

Area-37, a Foundation site essentially destabilized single handedly by three instances of an SCP. These SCPs have hijacked this facility and their anomalous effect is so great that the O5 Council had to construct a server farm to monitor the area. It's so dangerous that the personnel are effectively lost. Within the compound, these instances experiment on these poor fools.

**Section-B-Arbiter's Ground**

"Ok, you guys, I have the perfect mundane task for you."

"Please don't tell me you're having us recreate the Milgram experiment again."

"Why are you complaining? I was the one shocked!"

"Hollow victory. You're essentially immune to everything! I'm surprised you actually got shocked."

"It was kind of fun. Besides, it didn't hurt at all!"

"What? You never got hurt?! But we all heard your bloodcurdling screams!"

"It was all an act, just like the original."

"Those screams will haunt my nightmares…"

"Was it too effective? I'll dial it back for the next one."

"Sigh, what mundane task are you going to break our minds with."

"Simple."

The instance materializes a series of pipes.

"So, I hacked into your server farm and heard about this SCP. I think it was called Pipe Nightmare? Your job is to repair it. Since you guys have been trapped here a while, the file says it might spray stuff at you if you attack it. So…don't do that. If you can clean the random garbage the pipes contain, we'd really appreciate it."

"Won't this kill us?"

"You've been killed before, but for this specific task, I've blessed you with the ability to not die. Don't worry, I'll take it back when the experiment is over."

"Gee, thanks…sis."

"I forgot to mention, the original grows and takes over stuff, but my version doesn't. Good luck."

"_Of course, the true experiment is when they will say "fuck this!" and give up…let's see how long they last…the longer they last, the more mental power they have."_

**Section C-Office Complexities**

"Do you want to play a game?"

"With you? Fuck no!"

"Too bad, you don't have a choice in the manner!"

"Please don't make us go through the Zimbardo experiment again!"

The instance remembers the shitshow it started.

"_**Saw a documentary about some guy doing a psychological experiment. It was supposed to last for 2 weeks, but the experiment was aborted after day 6. I will attempt to do what he couldn't and restart the experiment, but make it last the full 14 days instead."**_

_**Day 1: Started the experiment by separating half of the personnel into guards and inmates. Guards were recommended to punish inmates by psychological torture. Guards were given batons and cool shades to intimidate inmates. To remain unbiased, I will personally not interfere with the experiment in anyway.**_

_**Day 2: No change.**_

_**Day 3: Some of the prisoners started a small riot. Guards sprayed them with bear mace to keep them under control. Some disdain was noted by the inmates.**_

_**Day 4: Guards became more violent. They've begun beating on the metal pipes to intimidate the inmates and blasting those questioning their authority with fire extinguishers.**_

_**Day 5: Guards begin referring to prisoners by numbers. They gave buckets to urinate and defecate in. Inmates begin a second riot.**_

_**Day 6: No change, atmosphere in the experiment is tense.**_

_**Day 7: Full scale prison riot breaks out. Guards quash the riot and punish the prisoners further. A few of them were put in solitary confinement. Prisoners begin having their psyche broken. Starting to see why the experiment was aborted, but I must continue.**_

_**Day 8: Prisoners released from solitary confinement and released into the general population. Subjects exhibit symptoms similar to bipolar disorder. Some prisoners are begging for parole. Guards fire extinguish them. Cannot give inmates parole, will distort results.**_

_**Day 9: A third riot breaks out. Some of the guards ignored protocol and begin beating the tar out of the inmates. Had to intervene and discharge them from the experiment by letting the warden "fire" them for brutality. Prisoner morale boosted…as retribution, all prisoners were moved to solitary confinement.**_

_**Day 10: Still in solitary.**_

_**Day 11: Still in solitary. Guards psychologically torment the inmates in solitary.**_

_**Day 12: Inmates released into the general prison. **_

_**Day 13: Holy [DATA REDACTED]! One of the inmates just slashed a guard's throat with a knife (a broken ruler) and began drinking his blood! It was something straight out of Lord of the Flies. Afterwards, the lunatic put his head on a pike. The prison has devolved into complete anarchy.**_

_**Day 14: [DATA EXPUNGED]. I called off the experiment as soon as time expired. My older sister is going to kill me! I memory wiped everyone and revived anyone that was killed during the experiment.**_

"Ok. I'll do something…more extreme."

Suddenly, Pre-hibernation by Pantera begins blaring.

"Are you seriously…?"

"As serious as a vending machine death! You're going to be doing all that crazy shit Sandy Cheeks did in the episode. The person who dies last gets a reward. Ready, set, go!"

The instance watches as they snowboard down K2.

"_They're going to die."_

**Section-D-High Risk Choices**

"Will this ever end?"

"No."

This is the 382347th time they've repeated the same damn experiment!

"We're tired of this Monty Hall problem."

"Pick an ice cream."

The researcher picks an ice cream titled "Hurrikan". He takes a bite and tastes something spicy!

"What's in that?!"

"Scorpion venom."

The researcher dies…but the instance revives him.

"Lucky. Other one was smegma."

"Why?!"

"Why not?"

The three instances finish their new reports.

**SCP-1765-1-EN: "I have modified my original experiment and had the subjects attempt to repair SCP-015-EN. Surprisingly, they caught on to my secondary goal and instantly "unionized". I have no idea what that means, but since they didn't do anything, I consider this a win for them. Though I am somewhat disappointed that they aborted the experiment that early. I was going to have them do it in the dark to measure the effect on their psyche…"**

**SCP-1765-2-EN: "My my…they all died on K2. Well, true to my word I did give the "winner" a prize. I let the winner die and didn't revive him. It really was a shame, because snowboarding down K2 was only the first event. I was rather looking forward to them biking through Pripyat without a radiation suit."**

**SCP-1765-3-EN: "Delicious."**

* * *

But something doesn't seem right…they've been doing these weird experiments for around six years and their esoteric lessons don't seem to be getting through to them. Who are they teaching exactly? Some higher dimensional beings such as themselves?

"Sisters, aren't you getting…bored of these experiments?"

"Why, whatever do you mean, eldest sister?"

"Yes."

"I mean, we've been doing the same thing for 6 years and nothing has changed. No one seems to be getting our lessons."

"Quite the problem."

SCP-1765-3-EN shrugs her shoulders.

"And another thing. For some reason…I don't feel like doing them anymore. Maybe I'm engaged in the same repetitiveness that they are."

"What, you? No way! You're better than them!"

"Strange."

"I think it's time to conclude the experiment. What do you say?"

"Why no way, eldest sister! I have many more tests to run!"

"End."

"You agree with me?"

"Yes."

Well, SCP-1765-1-EN didn't think she'd get this far…

"Uh…so, what do you want to do now, youngest sister?"

"Loud."

"Music? I heard of this unique band called Destroid that specializes in heavy metal dubstep. Is that what you mean? Personally, I think it destroys both eardrums and brain cells but…

SCP-1765-3-EN shakes her head.

"House."

"Loud…House? Oh…the comic book. Sure. Here you go."

SCP-1765-1-EN snaps her fingers and a Loud House comic book materializes from thin air.

"Visit."

"Visit the Loud House? It's just a comic book…unless..."

SCP-1765-1-EN brings up an interdimensional map.

"Which one?"

SCP-1765-3-EN points to a wormhole with the designation "TLH-SCP-PTB-1415".

"My, such a long code…which alternate universe is this?"

"Sis?"

SCP-1765-2-EN is still looking at the others.

"Are you coming?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"Sigh…let me do something first."

SCP-1765-2-EN generates a pulse from within her. Time stops all throughout Area-37.

"Ready?"

The three instances leave the facility and travel to this strange dimension. It looks all comic booky. They appear to have arrived at some random house.

* * *

"Why did you bring us here?"

"Help?"

"Isn't this about sending a message about everything burning, love?"

"Wrong universe."

The strange beings begin exploring this property that they've unknowingly trespassed on. It sure is a good thing they are intangible, because then their antics can be blamed on ghosts.

"This place sure has a lot of females in it…"

"Why, this is a gynephiliac's dream come true!"

"Perv."

They spot a lone boy in an orange polo reading comic books.

"A boy, here?"

"Should we kill him?"

"No!"

Lincoln begins hearing something, though he can't see what's making the noise…It's probably just Lucy getting lost in the ventilation ducts again.

"Huh? Did I just hear something?"

SCP-1765-2-EN approaches him, mostly intangible.

"Hey, can you show us around here? We're kind of lost."

"Who said that? Is it a cosmic entity? Sorry, you missed orientation day."

"Cosmic entity? How dare you insult us like that!"

A sharp chill runs across his face, terrifying him.

"Uh, Lisa! I think we're being haunted!"

He runs upstairs to his second youngest sister's room to inform her on what's going on.

"Elder brother, stop your babbling. There are no such things as ghosts. Despite what Lucy might have told you."

"I may be in the vents but I can still hear you!"

"I'm sure there is a logical conclusion here."

"Lisa! There are tears in our dimension. Random stuff from other universes leachating into ours…mostly from SCP-PRM-001."

The sisters hear this.

"Is that…our dimension?"

"And stuff has being going missing?"

"Fix."

Lincoln picks up on the strange voices again.

"See, there are ghosts here! We need to get them to stop haunting us!"

Lisa turns on that Scranton reality anchor to see if there really are any ghosts. It malfunctioned when used on SCP-239-EN…but it did confirm she is a class 5 reality warper so…

WARNING, HUME LEVELS INCOMPREHENSIBLE! SUPER POWERFUL ENTITIES DETECTED. ENGAGEMENT OF ENTITIES CONSIDERED SUICIDE. ABORT! ABORT!

"Is it talking about us?"

"Engagement? I don't see a ring anywhere…"

"Overwhelming!"

The Scranton reality anchor explodes from the immense power reading! It actually started a small fire.

"Get the baking soda!"

The three entities look at each other.

"This is not a good first impression, sisters. We need to make it up to them somehow."

"Why'd you take me along with you, kiddo?"

"Fun."

A litter box full of baking soda materializes in front of Lisa. It pours itself on the SRA fire.

"Huh? Where did that baking soda come from?"

* * *

The entities materialize in front of her. The first one appears to be a tall humanoid in its 30's. It wears some sort of lab coat blazer hybrid. It appears to be wearing some type of shorts. Her hair appears to be messy and ruffled, looking either like a lion's mane or a Super Saiyan's hairdo. Her hair is colored a dirty yellow, while her eyes are blue. The blazer she wears is black with a green tie. The shorts appear to be brown. The second one appears to be around 19 with long brown hair and brown eyes. She appears to be wearing a blue overcoat over her lab jacket. It actually kind of looks like some sort of business suit lab jacket hybrid. She is wearing a red skirt. The third one looks to be about 10, has slightly darker brown hair cut short. She has green eyes and has a bow on top of her outfit. Her outfit looks like it was taken out of Doki Doki Literature Club. Her outfit is red with a lilac skirt. All three of them have white shoes.

"Are you pattern screamers?"

"What's a pattern screamer?"

"I don't know what those are, but I'm going to assume that's an insult."

"Nice."

SCP-1765-1-EN tries to explain.

"No, we just got lost in this dimension. For some reason, our youngest sister wanted to visit this place."

"Fun."

"Yes, it seems like you guys have a real problem."

"We are aware. But it's not like we can do anything about it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to run some more tests."

SCP-1765-2-EN's ears perk up at hearing this.

"Tests? Do tell more about these…tests."

"They are a series of experiments to decide whether or not my siblings are SCPs. They got hit with some sort of anomalous radiation and it appears they have anomalous powers. I Just want to know what they really are."

"I think we can help. Here's our resume."

SCP-1765-2-EN hands her their VEI article.

* * *

Objet #: SCP-1765-EN

Classe: Couronne ou Apollyon (dépend de leur humeur)

Niveau de Menace: Noir

Propriétés Spéciales: Tous de les (intangibilité par défaut)

Procédures de Confinement Spéciales: L'activité SCP-1765-EN est actuellement limitée aux limites de la Area-37, qui est considérée comme sa zone de confinement efficace. En raison de l'infestation complète de la Area-37 par le SCP-1765-EN, il doit être considéré comme un territoire de type 4 normalement instable, et tout le personnel de la Fondation à l'intérieur doit être considéré comme effectivement perdu. Un périmètre défensif a été établi autour de la Area-37 selon le Protocole Standard de Telemachus. Les tentatives d'atteinte au complexe de la Area-37 se sont toutes terminées par la perte de tout le personnel du MTF en cause, et ont donc été abandonnées jusqu'à nouvel ordre. Dans le cas où l'activité du SCP-1765-EN se propage, les dispositifs nucléaires stockés sur place dans la Area-37 peuvent être activés avec l'autorisation de l'O5-Command. En raison du grand volume de données produites par de SCP-1765-EN, une ferme de serveurs désignée a été construite pour la contenir. Ladite ferme serveur doit être isolée de tous les autres réseaux de la Fondation.

Description: SCP-1765-EN est la désignation collective pour un groupe de trois entités semi-corporelles, se manifestant généralement comme vaguement humanoïde, silhouettes blanc cassé. Les cas de SCP-1765-EN montrent une capacité d'affaiblir volontairement la structure de la réalité dans leur présence immédiate, leur permettant un contrôle limité mais puissant sur les distorsions temporelles et physiques dans une fourchette substantielle. Les cas de SCP-1765-EN sont capables de parler (parlant de trois voix aux tonalités différentes, décrites par les auditeurs comme féminines), et semblent posséder des personnalités individuelles et cohérentes.

SCP-1765-EN a été introduit pour la première fois dans la Area-37 à la suite d'un raid réussi des forces de la Fondation sur une cellule de la Serpent's Hand située dans la ville ████████. Plusieurs objets présumés anormalainsi qu'une quinzaine d'agents de la Serpent's Hand capturés ont été récupérés et ramenés à La Area-37, une installation isolée spécialisée dans l'entreposage initial de ces objets. Lors de l'examen préliminaire de trois des artefacts récupérés (un petit métier à tisser en bois, une aiguille d'émail et un œil de verre), les trois cas de SCP-1765-EN (désormais SCP-1765-1-EN, SCP-1765-2-EN et SCP-1765-3-EN) sont apparus et se sont adressés au personnel auxiliaire, Chercheur ████. Cette conversation a été enregistrée par le système de surveillance de la chambre d'essai:

«Begin Log»

SCP-1765-1-EN: Salutations, membres estimés de la Fondation. Nous venons à vous avec des nouvelles de bon augure.

SCP-1765-2-EN: Oui, vous serez très heureux de le faire.

SCP-1765-3-EN: Bonjour.

Chercheur ████: Qu'est-ce que l'enfer

SCP-1765-1-EN: Désolé, monsieur, je serai avec vous dans un instant. [au SCP-1765-2-EN] Sœurs, je pensais que nous étions d'accord pour me laisser faire les discours d'ouverture. Tu nous embarrasses.

SCP-1765-2-EN: Oh, woops! Heehee, vas-y, on va se taire.

SCP-1765-3-EN: Excuses.

SCP-1765-1-EN: Ahm. Oui, comme je l'ai dit, Salutations. Nous sommes heureux de vous connaître enfin, car nous observons votre organisation depuis un certain temps. En effet, nous en avons observé beaucoup, et parmi eux tous, vous avez été distingués comme un phare brillant de progrès dans une mer sombre. Bien joué.

SCP-1765-2-EN: Oh, nous sommes très fiers!

SCP-1765-3-EN: Félicitations.

Chercheur ████: Sécurité - [Le chercheur ████ saisit sa langue, qui devient visiblement noirci et flétrie]

SCP-1765-1-EN: Je vous l'ai dit, monsieur, je serai avec vous dans un instant. Où en étais-je? Oh, c'est vrai. Tout cela considéré, nous avons décidé que vous, et aucun autre, sont dignes de recevoir notre aide. C'est un honneur très rare, nous vous assurons.

SCP-1765-2-EN: Comme un steak sanglant, il est, comment rare.

SCP-1765-3-EN: Tartare.

[Le chercheur ████ essaie de parler à nouveau, puis tombe au sol. Sa langue s'écroule en poussière. Il perd conscience]

SCP-1765-1-EN: Hmph. Pourquoi les gens doivent-ils toujours être stupides? On va devoir régler ça plus tard. Je ne cesse de perdre la tête, c'est le plus exaspérant.

SCP-1765-2-EN: Notre aide, importante.

SCP-1765-3-EN: Assistance.

SCP-1765-1-EN: Ah, merci. Oui, notre aide. Voyant à quel point vous vous en tenez méticuleusement à la méthode scientifique, nous nous aventurons que nous pourrions être de la plus grande utilité pour vous si nous faisons la même chose nous-mêmes. Après tout, nos capacités dans ce domaine sont considérables. Oui, pour vous aider, nous mènerons plusieurs expériences utiles en votre nom, et vous fournirons les données. Nous croyons que c'est le début d'un merveilleux partenariat.

SCP-1765-2-EN: Euh, je pense qu'il est mort, mon amour.

SCP-1765-3-EN: pas bien.

SCP-1765-1-EN: Oh, quoi qu'il arrive, ils enregistrent tout. C'est pour ça qu'on les a choisis, n'est-ce pas?

SCP-1765-2-EN: Oui, c'est comme ça.

SCP-1765-3-EN: Oui.

SCP-1765-1-EN: Écoutez attentivement, nous allons commencer nos expériences immédiatement, parce qu'il n'y a guère un point à dilly dallying. Maintenant, nous nous rendons compte qu'ils peuvent sembler un peu déroutant, mais croyez-nous, nous savons ce qui est le mieux pour vous.

SCP-1765-2-EN: Les sœurs savent mieux, hehe!

SCP-1765-3-EN: Toujours.

À la suite de cette conversation, les trois cas de SCP-1765-EN ont commencé à se déplacer rapidement dans la Area-37. Pendant que SCP-1765-EN continuait à tourner autour de la Area-37, plusieurs événements ont été remarqués qui ont été associés aux phénomènes de flexion de la réalité. SCP-1765-EN a finalement cessé ce schéma, probablement parce que la Area-37 était devenue suffisamment instable pour s'adapter aux paramètres de leur expérimentation prévue. À la fin de ce processus, les images de sécurité ont révélé que la Area-37 était divisée en quatre sections distinctes, et que le personnel de la Area-37 était divisé entre eux selon l'emplacement du SCP-1765-EN au moment de l'événement, comme indiqué ci-dessous:

Section A (anciennement salle de mess de la Area-37, rangement et dortoirs): la plus petite des sections, la section A a été la moins modifiée par le SCP-1765-EN. Les ajouts notables sont deux grandes cuves en laiton situées à l'angle est de la salle de mess, une station de surveillance reliée à d'autres sections de la Area-37 remplaçant l'entretien, et un grand panneau de marbre au-dessus de l'entrée des dortoirs sur lequel on peut lire «GROUPE DE CONTRÔLE». Le personnel appartenant au groupe témoin n'est pas soumis à l'expérimentation qui a lieu dans d'autres sections de la Area-37. Une fois toutes les cinq à sept heures, le groupe témoin est visité par une instance de SCP-1765-EN. Au cours de ces visites, la nourriture et l'eau sont distribuées à partir des cuves en laiton, et l'instance de visite s'adresse généralement au groupe témoin, les encourageant souvent à utiliser la station de surveillance pour observer toute expérience en cours.

Section B (anciennement les terrains extérieurs et les installations sportives de la Area-37): La section B est le point d'appui d'une anomalie spatio-temporelle localisée. Pour cette raison, sa taille, son climat, sa composition atmosphérique, sa pression et son débit temporel sont tous variables et sont apparemment contrôlés par la volonté du SCP-1765-1-EN, l'entité qui supervise généralement l'expérimentation dans la section B. Selon SCP-1765-1-EN, l'expérimentation dans la section B est destinée à plonger dans les effets de l'action répétitive effectuée dans des conditions inhabituelles sur la psyché humaine.

Section C (anciennement le complexe de bureaux principal de la Area-37): La section C présente des propriétés anormalement similaires à la section B, bien qu'elle soit associée au SCP-1765-2-EN plutôt qu'au SCP-1765-1-EN. L'observation (ainsi que les apports limités du SCP-1765-2-EN) indique que les expériences menées dans la section C ont tendance à se concentrer sur la dynamique de groupe et les relations interpersonnelles dans des conditions extrêmes. En moyenne, les altérations physiques de la section C pendant l'expérimentation sont plus radicales que celles observées dans la section B, tandis que les alternances temporelles le sont beaucoup moins.

Section D (anciennement zone de confinement à risque élevé de la Area-37): La section D est actuellement le segment le moins compris du complexe modifié de la Area-37. Physiquement, il reste pratiquement inchangé par rapport à son état avant son infestation initiale par SCP-1765-EN. Temporellement, cependant, il semble être entièrement déconnecté du flux de base des événements, existant comme une «bulle» isolée des événements se produisant à l'extérieur de celui-ci. La réalité temporelle de la Section-D ainsi que toute expérimentation qui a lieu à l'intérieur de celui-ci sont associés à SCP-1765-3-EN. En raison des schémas de parole laconiques de SCP-1765-3-EN et de l'obscurité générale des expériences qu'il mène, on comprend actuellement peu de choses sur la nature de l'expérimentation qui se déroule au sein de la section D.

Quelle que soit la section dans laquelle une expérience a lieu, SCP-1765-EN cherchera à fournir à la Fondation des flux vidéo et audio de haute qualité qui la documentent. Ces données sont transférées au serveur de la Fondation compatible le plus proche par des moyens actuellement inconnus. Les images contiennent aussi souvent des notes enregistrées par l'instance de supervision de SCP-1765-EN.

Addendum 1765-EN-A: Ce qui suit est une description des expériences notables effectuées par des instances de SCP-1765-EN:

Section B:

État de la section: Pour cette expérience, la section B a surtout conservé sa forme originale, autre que les changements structurels occasionnels causés par les événements de reconstitution à la suite de l'expérience.

Personnel impliqué: Chercheur ██, Agent ██████, Ingénieur assainissement ██████████

Expérience: Les sujets d'essai sont introduits dans le centre sportif de la Area-37 à partir d'un endroit inconnu et reçoivent chacun une clé, une règle, un tampon de papier brun et un stylo à bille. Les sujets sont ensuite chargés par SCP-1765-1-EN d'examiner de près le système de plomberie du centre sportif et de mesurer la longueur exacte de chaque tuyau et l'angle dans lequel il est relié à d'autres tuyaux. Ce processus prend entre dix et douze heures en raison de la taille du centre sportif. Avant qu'il puisse être terminé, cependant, la section-B commence un événement de reconstitution, provoquant le système de plomberie d'être complètement réarrangé et rendant tous les travaux précédemment faits discutable. Les sujets d'essai sont alors instruits pour recommencer. Le processus se répète 459 fois avant la conclusion des expériences.

Notes de SCP-1765-1-EN: "Suite à l'expédition quelque peu décevante d'hier à Olympus Mons (Mes, mais les hôtes étaient grossiers!), j'ai décidé de tenter quelque chose de moins taxant sur mes sujets d'essai, qui se révèlent jusqu'à présent à la fois physiquement peu impressionnants et moralement manquant. Ce simple examen de la répétition de l'entrée sensorielle et la façon dont il peut être connecté à d'autres réactions primaires au point de surcharge devrait s'avérer à la fois utile pour vous et dans la capacité plutôt limitée de mon sujet de test. Enfin, une preuve que même si nous essayons d'apprendre de l'expérience, cette tentative est finalement inutile, car une fois que la vie vous passe, vous aurez juste à tout apprendre à nouveau. C'est une connaissance utile, les enfants, j'espère que vous faites attention."

Section C:

État de la section: Pour cette expérience, Section-C a pris l'apparence d'un stade de football, avec des sujets d'essai apparaissant autour de la ligne de cinquante verges. Notamment, les poteaux de but ont été enlevés et remplacés par des bunkers en béton.

Personnel impliqué: Les anciens membres de la Force opérationnelle mobile Iota-6 ("Canvas Cats"), dix des quinze agents captifs de la Serpent's Hand

Expérience: L'expérience s'est déroulée en deux phases; lors de la première phase, les sujets d'essai ont été divisés en deux équipes, toutes deux composées d'un mélange de personnel de la MTF et d'agents de la Serpent's Hand. Les deux groupes ont ensuite reçu l'ordre du SCP-1765-2-EN de se diriger vers les bunkers situés aux extrémités du terrain. Alors qu'ils couraient vers ces positions, plusieurs figures cagoulées sont apparues sur les gradins du stade et ont commencé à bombarder les sujets d'essai avec des projectiles enflammés qui se déplaçaient rapidement. En outre, des plates-formes courbes de trois mètres de haut ont commencé à s'élever du sol, obligeant les sujets d'essai à faire du travail d'équipe afin de les contourner. En raison de la composition mixte des équipes, les sujets d'essai n'ont pas pu surmonter les plates-formes à temps, et les deux équipes ont été incinérées par les projectiles avant d'atteindre les bunkers. Trente secondes après cela, la deuxième phase de l'expérience a commencé avec le même groupe de sujets d'essai apparaissant à nouveau près de la ligne de cinquante yards indemne. Les sujets ont de nouveau été divisés en deux groupes, l'un composé uniquement de personnel de la MTF et l'autre d'agents de la Serpent's Hand. Les sujets d'essai ont de nouveau été chargés d'atteindre les bunkers. L'essai s'est déroulé comme indiqué précédemment, les deux équipes étant maintenant en mesure de surpasser les plates-formes surélevées et d'atteindre les bunkers. À ce moment, cependant, les portes des bunkers se sont fermées et deux paires inédites de marteaux métalliques inépuisables sont descendues d'un endroit d'origine inconnu, écrasant les deux équipes à mort.

Notes de SCP-1765-2-EN: "J'ai vu les enfants ont eu un mauvais moment avec cette chose double-date que nous avons fait, alors je me suis dit: "Sourire, les enfants d'aujourd'hui ne vont pas pour la romance plus, s'trop lent pour eux." Ils veulent de l'excitation et de la sueur et des explosions et des sports!" alors j'ai appelé quelques vieux amis à moi et ils étaient heureux de vous aider, n'est-ce pas! Quel était le nom de ce grand avec les robes? C'est Madem? Mavven, c'est ça? Ou était-ce John? Bah, je ne me souviens pas, mais je sais qu'il adore le football! Heehee, nous avons certainement eu un grand temps ol ', même avec la combustion et l'écrasement et tout. Oh, je pense que j'oublie quelque chose... oh, le test, c'était ... c'était un test, oui. Euh, tu vois, ça va te montrer que peu importe avec qui tu es, tu finiras par te faire écraser par d'énormes marteaux métalliques qui s'écrasent du ciel! Hmm, non qui ne peut pas être juste ... ah, je l'ai eu! Peu importe combien vous vous préparez et dont avec vous, tôt ou tard le destin va vous rattraper! Heehee, oui, ce que j'aime, ça sonne juste pêchey! Une leçon à apprendre, mes gars, une leçon à apprendre!

Section D:

État de la section: Physiquement, la section D est demeurée inchangée par rapport à son état d'origine.

Personnel impliqué: Directeur du site ██████

Expérience: Le directeur du site ██████ entre dans la voûte principale de confinement de la Area-37. Au centre de la voûte, une table (probablement prise dans la salle de mess) est placée. Sur la table, deux cuves de 1 litre de █████████ crème glacée de marque, l'une aromatisée à la pistache, l'autre aux fruits de la passion aromatisées. Le directeur du site ██████ est chargé par le SCP-1765-3-EN de "choisir". Le directeur du site ██████ choisit ensuite la crème glacée aromatisée à la pistache et quitte la pièce. À ce stade, les images s'estompent momentanément, et le directeur du site ██████ retourne dans la salle, où la cuve de crème glacée non choisie a été remplacée par une autre, celle-ci aromatisée au chocolat. Il est de nouveau chargé de choisir, cette fois la cueillette de la crème glacée aromatisée au chocolat. Le processus se répète, avec chaque cuve non cueillie remplacée par une d'une saveur différente. Au moment de la rédaction de ce document, la Fondation a reçu plus de 10,000 heures d'images de cette expérience, avec une analyse identifiant plus de 200,000 saveurs différentes de crème glacée, y compris "Meerkat Marshmallow Madness", "Tranquility", "Shoe You Always Liked", "God's Wrath", et [REDACTED]. Tout porte à croire que cette expérience est toujours en cours.

Notes de SCP-1765-3-EN (note se trouve au début de la 1 356e heure): "Delicious."

* * *

"Sorry about our resume being in Baguette, it was the only one available. Isn't it one of your species sub-languages? Maybe you could translate it when you have the time."

"Well, you do certainly have…a unique work experience."

"So, are we hired?"

Lisa thinks this over. They could actually help. But their record of actually helping people is…all over the place, to say the least. If nothing else, having these omniversal level entities as research assistants could at least keep them from destroying this dimension.

"Fine, let's get to work."

SCP-1765-1-EN shakes Lisa's hand.

"Don't worry about it. I know our track record is…bad…to say the least, but I'll keep my younger sisters in check in case they decide to do something stupid. After all, we're supposed to be helping you, right?"

"Uh, right?"

"Well, first thing we're going to need is a place to conduct our experiments. No offense, kid, but your lab is kind of small. We need a big wide-open space with tons of equipment and special rooms. A pocket dimension should suffice. I'll even invite all of your siblings to witness it."

"Well, they are the test subjects."

"Even better!"

The quartet move outside as SCP-1765-3-EN gathers the rest of the Loud siblings while SCP-1765-1-EN creates a pocket dimension. They all enter the portal and see a sprawling laboratory complex.

"Welcome to our new lab, partner."

* * *

The group enters the complex, it appears to have an office, mess hall, observation room, living quarters and bathroom, as well as eight different color-coded sections, meant to be the testing chambers. What is this, Portal? Each of them has a Greek letter above them.

"This language is Ancient. You can tell because it's in runes."

"Indeed. This runic language is interesting."

"Ruined."

"That's not an ancient language, that's just the language of Greece."

"Greece? How did a foodstuff become a country?"

"Isn't that that gold stuff that makes you fat if you eat it?"

"Obesity."

SCP-1765-2-EN almost begins to do something, but SCP-1765-1-EN stops her.

"Maybe we should let our benefactor continue explaining this to us."

"Bad sister."

"Have you lost your minds, lovelies? She's younger than we are!"

"How old are you, anyway?" Lincoln asks

SCP-1765-2-EN shoves a bar of potassium hydroxide down his throat.

"How uncouth of you to ask a lady her age!"

SCP-1765-1-EN dematerializes the bar before it corrodes Lincoln's insides.

"What the fuck, sis?! You can't just kill people that upset you!"

"I would have revived him later!"

"Scoff."

"Are you trying to get fired?"

"I refuse to answer that."

"Weak."

SCP-1765-1-EN turns back to Lisa and profusely apologizes.

"Sorry. She's not exactly…stable. Things like "weight" or "age" don't really apply to higher reality beings such as ourselves. Uh, so…shall we get on with your experiments…"

Lisa almost feels sorry for her, but then she remembers that all three of them have the power of Deus Ex Machina. She can handle herself.

"By the way, she was going to erase this Greece from existence. It might lower the obesity rate if Greece was cut out of their diet."

"Wrong type of Greece. Grease is also some famous musical from the 70s about the 50s."

"Interesting."

* * *

**Sector ****Ω**

"I've noticed that the baby has anomalous abilities."

"How heartless!"

"Neglectful."

They arrive at Sector Ω.

"Boss, did you ever take a blood sample from the baby?"

Lisa is quite surprised at this.

"Well, no."

"She does have anomalous powers, I guess its just in the blood."

"Ferric."

"Maybe we should just show you."

SCP-1765-1-EN draws a blood sample from Lily and pours it into a cup.

"What are you?"

SCP-1765-2-EN creates what appears to be a caricature of known crackhead Charlie Sheen. She feeds the blood to him.

Not Charlie Sheen begins what appears to be a drug fueled dance.

"MORE! NEED MORE!"

The deranged actor begins charging at Lily, but is stopped by hearing a gunshot. Panning upwards, we can see that SCP-1765-1-EN shot him in the head. He promptly dissolves into what appears to be code.

"You didn't think we'd use real people, did you?"

"The actor wasn't real, but the gun sure is!" Lisa points out

"All to show that the baby's blood appears to be a drug or infused with drugs."

"Mollycoddle."

Lisa picks up the cup and analyzes the blood. It appears to be infused with a variant of MDMA.

"The blood has traces of MDMA."

"What is that?"

"A drug that alters mood. It typically induces feelings of euphoria."

"Happy."

**Sector ****Ψ**

"Who's next?"

"Considering I do not have any anomalous powers, Lola would be next."

"Which one is Lola?"

"The princess looking one."

"Me!"

"No, 1765-3-EN. Not you."

SCP-1765-3-EN is kind of disappointed at this.

"You acid proofed and fireproofed the test chamber, right? Because I know for a fact that Lola got acid powers."

"Acid powers? And she may be reactive, correct?"

"Isn't she already explosive enough?"

"Allahu Akbar?"

SCP-1765-1-EN thinks this over…

"Yes, I did proof the chamber."

"Did you make copies of her clothes? The acid might burn through them."

"We have clothes in the test chamber."

"My, this thought hurts my eyes, soul and psyche."

"Burning!"

Lola is placed in Sector Ψ's test chamber.

"Ok, now acidify."

Lola fully acidifies her body. As expected, the acid dissolved all of her clothes. Not as expected, the acid didn't dissolve her hair. The acid is super strong, so for it to not dissolve is quite a surprise. Her tiara also dissolved."

"My dress! My tiara! LISA!"

"Don't worry, we brought backup clothes. Can you corrode-phase through walls like the accursed one?

"Accursed one?"

"What is she talking about?"

"Sadism."

Lola attempts to phase through one of the walls of the chamber. She easily passes through, almost as if she was SCP-106-EN itself! Lola re-enters the chamber.

"Audi famam illius."

"Solus en hostus ruit."

"Patria quomodo contriverit."

Lisa notices the sisters speaking Latin.

"When did you learn Latin?"

"Latin? What is that? This language is called Skeleton."

"Skeleton is a sub-language lost to time, you know."

"Morituros."

The next test is set up.

"Ok, Lola. Can you recreate a move from this anime that our younger sister likes to watch?"

"Superheroes!"

Several fire emitters appear within the chamber, as well as a fireproof robot that kind of looks like Endeavor from BNHA.

"Things are blowing up!"

"Abusers."

Lola attempts to pull off a highly technical move. She ignites herself with one of the fire emitters and begins spinning in a spiral fashion. Miniature explosions fall off of her. The spiral crashes into robo-Endeavor in a glorious burst of energy! The robot was scrapped!

"I think we're done here!"

SCP-1765-1-EN materializes a set of Lola's clothes. Lola turns off her anomaly and puts the clothes on.

**Sector ****Χ**

"Actually, I already have a pretty good grasp on Lana's anomalous powers. Let's move on to the next anomaly."

"Ok then."

**Sector ****Φ**

"I'm not sure if Lucy has any anomalous abilities."

"That's the gloomy one, right? I scanned her. She does, but its triggered by sight."

"This might be hard since she avoids contact."

"Shy girl."

Lucy is placed in Sector Φ's testing chamber.

"Ok, now look at Lisa."

She does so. She gets a sudden compulsion to run after her. She emits a bloodcurdling shriek.

"Sisters, I think we messed up."

"What makes you say that?"

"[DATA EXPUNGED]"

Lucy runs at about 50 kilometers per hour and seemingly phases through solid objects. However, viewing the footage in the observation room shows that she's using what appears to be a pocket dimension to skip through the obstructions.

Upon getting to Lisa, she gives her a hug.

"Where's the [DATA EXPUNGED]?"

"This is supposed to be like that gangly dude, right?"

"Invincible!"

Repeating the test seems to reveal that she is immensely weak, as opposed to SCP-096-EN being nearly indestructible. She even died by tripping on a pebble and breaking her neck that way.

"That was kind of sad."

"No, it was kind of hilarious. It was so funny it deserves a Darwin Award!"

SCP-1765-3-EN just facepalms.

"At least that it only activates around an hour after prior activation."

SCP-1765-3-EN revives Lucy.

**Sector ****Υ**

"Lisa, it appears we have a problem."

"What is it, SCP-1765-1-EN?"

"The sporty one does have an anomalous ability."

"Yes…"

"Well, it only activates if she is hurt or near the brink of death. Do you still want to continue?"

Lisa ponders this for a moment...

"Is there a way to revive her if the experiment goes wrong?"

"I'll do you one better."

SCP-1765-1-EN places a state on her.

"I put a save state on her. In case something goes wrong. She'll revert back to this state with the push of a button. Or, I guess in this case, the snap of our fingers."

"Alright, let's begin."

Lynn is put in Sector Υ's testing chamber.

"So, what do I have to do?"

SCP-1765-2-EN enters the chamber.

"Die."

The testing chamber turns into a killing chamber, with a whole bunch of murder implements like flamethrowers, chainsaws and spikes everywhere. SCP-1765-2-EN turns into a pack of around 10 SCP-939-EN instances!

Close to Me by Sabrepulse begins to play as Lynn gets annihilated by the murder chamber. She managed to convert a chainsaw into her hand, but the beasts easily overwhelm her. She is put into crisis mode within 30 seconds.

"As you can see, you sister can heal any injury by reconverting the atoms into her own body. If she takes too much damage, she's put into crisis mode. If those organs are destroyed, then she dies for real."

"Shred."

Lynn emits a psionic blast to shred the chamber and 939-EN instances. She manages to get out of crisis mode!

"That's interesting. She can transmute matter to repair her body. It can be made from flesh to steel to anything in between!"

"Ok. Stop the experiment, we've seen enough!"

The 939-EN instances reform back into SCP-1765-2-EN as the murder chamber turns back into a normal testing chamber.

"Rewind space-time!"

Lynn is restored to her default state before the experiment began. SCP-1765-1-EN removes the save state.

"You really got shafted, Lynn. You got an overpowered Keter class anomaly but you have to be near death to access it."

"Maybe you can sign a contract with Death herself and be in that state forever. Just ask O5-13."

"Undying."

**Sector ****Τ**

"Does Luan have an ability, o wise sister?"

"She does. It is a very specific trigger, though. She needs to look like a clown."

"She already does, elder sister."

"Pogo."

"I mean, she has to look like an actual clown. You know, with the wig and makeup."

"Oh, I see."

"I'll let her deal with this. She has the mental capacity to resist any cognitohazard and their variations."

"Shattered frame of mind."

"Since I am the cognitohazard expert, I'll just tell you that hers makes people around her try to kill her."

"Unlike a certain Young Girl, they won't die after a certain amount of time and your sister can't regenerate."

"Hatred."

"Well, if that's the case. I don't think we need to experiment then."

**Sector ****Σ**

"Leni is a reality warper. Let's move on."

**Sector ****Ρ**

"Lori's ability is to see into the future."

"I see. Is there anything odd about it?"

"Well, if she sees a certain gangly dude, it might kill us all."

"Oh, I totally agree. That anomaly can break all the rules to [DATA EXPUNGED] anyone that sees it."

"Pixels."

"I see no reason to experiment."

"Well, I think we have all our data. Thanks for your help."

* * *

They all return back to the Loud House. SCP-1765-EN all teleport back to SCP-PRM-001's Area-37.

"Oh, by the way. We took back an anomaly with us."

The Loud siblings are left confused at what just happened.

"I thought those "sisters" would be an Avengers level threat, but apparently I was wrong."

"What makes you say that, Linky?"

"I have to be the middle man and manage a web of conflicts generated by 10 of you. It's hard-enough dealing with your capriciousness normally, but add anomalous powers, especially reality warping ones…"

"I see your point. You wouldn't even survive 11 minutes."

In SCP-PRM-001…

A crystal statue drops into a magnetically suspended lead box.

"So, what are we going to do now?"

"We're going to leave. You?"

"Haven't decided yet."

Area-37's time reverts back to normal. The spacetime anomalies in Sectors A, B, and D are back to the state before SCP-1765-EN arrived.

"Are we free?"

SCP-1765-2-EN teleports in front of them.

"Nope! You're just under new management! You are all my test subjects now!"

"NO!"

SCP-1765-1-EN and SCP-1765-3-EN appear to vanish from sight.

"How interesting. I wanted to teach them about how the mind works. Never thought that they would teach me something about myself…"

* * *

_**Secondary reports:**_

_**TLH-001: Object Class: Euclid, Threat Level: Yellow**_

_**TLH-002: Non-anomalous**_

_**TLH-003: Object Class: Apollyon, Threat Level: Red, Special Properties: Violent**_

_**TLH-004: Object Class: Keter, Threat Level: Blue**_

_**TLH-005: Object Class: Euclid, Threat Level: Green, Special Properties: Compulsory, Relativistic**_

_**TLH-006: Non-anomalous**_

_**TLH-007: Object Class: Keter, Threat Level: Yellow, Special Properties: Violent, Regenerative**_

_**TLH-008: Object Class: Safe, Threat Level: Orange, Special Properties: Cognitohazard**_

_**TLH-009: Non-anomalous**_

_**TLH-010: Object Class: Safe, Threat Level: Black, Special Properties: Reality Warper**_

_**TLH-011: Object Class: Euclid, Threat Level: Blue**_


	31. Adultism

"**A symbol rises to the surface, of the crimson sweetness that I had submerged it deep within. Your destiny isn't so immutable; Anything that you can dream, can also be the fate that you will have. Don't try to use deceit on me. I will not break, I won't surrender!" -Black Paper Moon Caleb Hyles Version, Verse 2**

"Hey…have you noticed mom has gotten…more aggressive lately?"

"Honestly, I haven't noticed since the dimensions started…**bleeding into ours** and releasing SCPs from the "prime canon", Stinkoln."

"I did. I just thought it was her grieving after losing dad to that cowbell."

"Oh yeah, did you destroy that thing? O5-2 might be upset at losing that."

"Yep. If you want it back, try sifting through Mauna Kea's magma chamber and you may find some molten slag containing part of it."

"I don't think you're getting that back."

"No shit, Sherlock. Maybe you and Watson over here can solve the mystery. But right now, the rest of us need to prepare for more anomalous attacks from SCPs escaping SCP-PRM-001!"

"Lisa, do you still have that x-ray equipment?"

"Of course, but why do you ask?"

"I have a theory. Maybe there's an SCP affecting mom. If it is the one that we're thinking of, her internal structure should have changed."

"I think both of you have gone completely crazy, but I'll humor you."

Lisa goes up to her room and prepares the equipment. Once everything is set up, she convinces Rita to get x-rayed, something about playing to her ego. But it is readily apparent that something is…_wrong_ with the x-ray.

"Uh mother, why is your skeleton made of metal?"

"My bones intake more iron, duh. I thought you were a scientist."

"Ok, but how do you have two hearts and brains?"

"Genetic defect. Why are you asking such strange questions, kid?"

Lisa is baffled at someone having two brains and two hearts and somehow still being alive. The body should have either short circuited from the number of neurons firing or gotten polycythemia from all of the blood being pumped from the hearts. She dismisses the aberration of science.

* * *

"About time. You all need to grow up."

Lincoln and Luan enter Lisa and Lily's room.

"So, did you find anything weird there?"

"Yes."

"Was it having 2 brains, 2 hearts and a metal endoskeleton?"

"Actually yes, how do you know?"

Luan and Lincoln look at each other.

"We have come to the conclusion that our mother is affected with adultism."

"Or as the Foundation calls it, SCP-1788-EN."

"Look up the VEI article for it."

* * *

Objet #: SCP-1788-EN

Classe: Couronne

Niveau de Menace: Rouge

Propriétés Spéciales: Transfiguration

Procédures de Confinement Spéciales: Le confinement de SCP-1788-EN est actuellement impossible. Les agents infiltrés au sein de différents gouvernements, y compris ceux du ███████, ██████ et ███ ██████ ██████ ██ ███████, travaillent à la promulgation de dépistages roetgen obligatoires, sous couvert de l'éradication de la tuberculose, afin de repérer les instances de SCP-1788-1-EN. Tout individu suspecté d'être une instance de SCP-1788-1-EN doit être immédiatement signalé au Commandement de la Zone Armée Biologique-223. Les membres du personnel ne doivent pas interagir avec le suspect et doivent immédiatement battre en retraite.

La Fondation détient actuellement sept (7) instances de SCP-1788-1-EN emprisonnées dans la Zone Armée Biologique-223. Le contact avec ces instances est strictement interdit en dehors des expériences autorisées. Chaque instance doit être détenue dans une cellule de confinement pour humanoïde séparée. Les exigences en matière d'alimentation et d'hygiène sont décrites dans le document 1788-CF.

Les recherches actuelles ne nécessitent d'instances supplémentaires de SCP-1788-1; Par autorisation préventive du Commandement O5, toute instance de SCP-1788-1-EN nouvellement découverte peut être immédiatement supprimée par la Force d'Intervention Mobile Armée Tau-4 ("Tout ce qui est Brillant et Respectueux").

Description: SCP-1788-EN est un processus, un traitement ou un autre moyen de transformation biologique. Un humain prépubère exposé à SCP-1788-EN devient une instance de SCP-1788-1-EN. Pour le moment, le(s) créateur(s) ou découvreur(s) de SCP-1788-EN est inconnu; Des groupes d'intérêt font l'objet d'une enquête. Découvrir l'origine de SCP-1788-EN est considéré comme une priorité de niveau-Sindri.

Lorsqu'elles atteignent l'âge adulte, les instances de SCP-1788-1-EN font preuve d'un comportement prédateur à l'égard des humains prépubères. Généralement, elles s'installeront dans un grand centre urbain, trouveront une forme d'emploi en col blanc, avant de traquer des enfants prépubères dans la zone. Environ une fois tous les six (6) mois, une instance de SCP-1788-1-EN tentera d'enlever un des enfants prépubères qu'elle suivait et l'emmènera dans un lieu éloigné ou tout du moins à l'abri des regards, où il sera exposé au processus SCP-1788-EN et transformé en une instance de SCP-1788-1-EN.

Peu d'informations ont pu être tirées des instances capturées de SCP-1788-1-EN. Les instances ont une intelligence supérieure à la moyenne et montrent une très forte résistance à la contrainte, la coercition, la torture, [DONNÉES SUPPRIMÉES] et aux autres formes d'extraction d'information. Jusqu'à maintenant, toutes les instances ont également montré des signes de narcissisme malfaisant et de psychopathie; Elles ont généralement un manque complet d'empathie tout en montrant une profonde finesse psychologique. Pour ces raisons, entre autres, les contacts non-autorisés avec des instances de SCP-1788-1-EN sont strictement interdits.

Les instances individuelles ne se réunissent ou n'interagissent généralement pas volontairement, sauf à des fins d'accouplement; En réalité, lorsque deux instances sont placées dans le même environnement, elles combattent généralement pour asseoir leur dominance. Ce comportement n'est pas lié au genre; les mâles et les femelles se combattront entre eux en plus de combattre les membres de leur propre genre et dans un groupe où les deux genres sont présents, il n'y aura qu'un seul dominant, qui peut être mâle ou femelle. Les instances capturées sont détenues séparément afin de minimiser les dommages. Plusieurs instances ont été observées dans la même aire urbaine, mais jamais avec un ratio supérieur à 1 pour 100, 000 humains normaux.

La saison d'accouplement est apparemment annuelle, mais n'est pas liée à la saison: les instances de certains environnements ont pu être observées en train de s'accoupler en été, tandis que d'autres instances ont pu être observées en train de s'accoupler durant les mois d'hiver. Les instances de SCP-1788-1-EN s'accoupleront exclusivement les unes avec les autres; elles n'ont aucune attirance sexuelle apparente pour les humains normaux. La période de gestation des instances de SCP-1788-1-EN est approximativement de quarante (40) semaines, grossièrement la même que celle des humains. Leur progéniture est génétiquement indistinguable des humains normaux et n'est pas considérée comme anormale; toutefois, puisque leurs enfants sont des candidats de choix pour subir le processus SCP-1788, leur capture ou suppression doit être considérée comme étant de haute priorité, dépassée seulement par la suppression des instances de SCP-1788-1-EN.

\- Anatomie de SCP-1788-1-EN

Anatomie de SCP-1788-1-EN: Il est extrêmement difficile de distinguer une instance de SCP-1788-1-EN d'un humain adulte normal, même avec une inspection détaillée. Les individus montrent les variations attendues de par leur genre et leur ethnie mais ont certaines caractéristiques communes. Les individus SCP-1788-1-EN semblent obèses, avec une masse comprise entre cent cinquante (150) et deux cents (200) kilogrammes lorsqu'ils sont complètement matures. Les instances de SCP-1788-1-EN ont des yeux plus grands que la moyenne, bien que pas assez pour sembler anormaux lors d'une inspection de routine. Leur transpiration contient des concentrations élevées de potassium et de cuivre, bien qu'elles soient toujours dans des proportions normales pour un humain adulte.

Bien que normaux à l'extérieur, leur anatomie interne a été profondément modifiée. Les os longs et le crâne des instances de SCP-1788-1-EN ont été renforcés avec plusieurs plaques de métal lourd et leurs fibres musculaires ont été tissées avec des structures ressemblant à des nanotubes de carbone. Cela leur donne une longévité, une force et une vitesse bien au-dessus de la moyenne humaine; Voir document 1788-1-DX pour les mesures et les estimations. (Une autorisation de Niveau 3 est requise.)

Les instances de SCP-1788-1-EN possèdent des organes et des systèmes de secours pour la plupart de leurs processus vitaux. Par exemple, elles ont un cœur secondaire, plus bas dans le torse, qui peut fonctionner en tandem avec le cœur principal pour faire circuler le sang plus efficacement ou qui peut fonctionner indépendamment si nécessaire. Certains vaisseaux sanguins ont des structures complexes de "valves", permettant de couper le débit sanguin vers des membres endommagés et d'autres zones pour empêcher une perte de sang excessive. D'autres systèmes d'organes ont également deux ou trois redondances qui peuvent prendre le relais dans le cas d'une déficience de(s) l'organe(s) principal(aux).

Les instances de SCP-1788-1-EN possèdent également un cerveau secondaire, situé dans la partie supérieure de leur torse et protégé par sa propre structure osseuse, similaire dans son architecture à la cage thoracique. Pour le moment, la fonction exacte de ce cerveau est inconnue; il a été observé que ce cerveau peut continuer de fonctionner même en cas de destruction du cerveau principal, comme démontré par l'Incident 1788-XR-12.

La dernière différence dans l'anatomie générale est l'apparition d'une seconde paire de bras, située directement sous la paire principale. Ces bras ont apparemment une force et une dextérité égales à celles de la paire supérieure et les instances de SCP-1788-1-EN sont apparemment capables de faire usage des quatre bras simultanément. Lorsqu'elles ne sont pas en période active de chasse, les instances gardent la paire inférieure repliée près du corps sur les côtés, où elle est facilement cachée par leur grosseur naturelle. Lorsqu'elle est cachée de cette manière, il est pratiquement impossible de distinguer une instance habillée de SCP-1788-1-EN d'un humain obèse normal, sauf avec une inspection détaillée.

AUTORISATION DE NIVEAU 4 REQUISE

AUTORISATION ACCEPTÉE, ACCÈS AUTORISÉ

Rapport d'interview SCP-1788-1-863-EN:

Interviewé: SCP-1788-1-863-EN

Interviewer: Directeur de Site Mandeville

Note: SCP-1788-1-863-EN était attaché et muni d'un collier à électrochocs pour cette interview.

Début de l'enregistrement

Directeur Mandeville: Veuillez énoncer votre nom pour le rapport.

[SCP-1788-1-863-EN rit.]

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: Je n'ai pas besoin d'un nom. Les noms sont pour les enfants.

Directeur Mandeville: Le permis de conduire et les autres papiers retrouvés sur vous vous identifient comme étant █████ ██████. Est-ce votre nom?

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: C'est mon nom d'enfant. Je n'en ai plus besoin maintenant.

Directeur Mandeville: Je vous appellerai donc 863.

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: Appelez-moi comme vous voulez, ne m'appelez juste pas en retard pour le dîner. [SCP-1788-1-863-EN rit.]

Directeur Mandeville: Vous avez été trouvé par nos agents devant une école primaire et les documents dans votre voiture et votre appartement comprennent plusieurs photos d'enfants, prises sans leur consentement. Êtes-vous un pédophile, 863?

[SCP-1788-1-863-EN devient soudain violent et tente de briser ses liens.]

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: Va te faire [JURON], espèce de [JURON]! Je vais te tuer [JURON]! C'est toi le pervers, sale [JURON]!

Directeur Mandeville: Si vous n'êtes pas un pédophile, 863, alors pourquoi observez-vous des enfants?

[SCP-1788-1-863-EN cesse de tenter de briser ses liens.]

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: Vous pensez qu'ils sont des enfants? [SCP-1788-1-863-EN rit.] Je n'arrive pas à croire que nous descendions de vous.

Directeur Mandeville: Expliquez ce que vous voulez dire par là, 863.

[SCP-1788-1-863-EN ne parle pas. Le Directeur Mandeville active le collier électrique. SCP-1788-1-863-EN ne réagit pas de façon visible. SCP-1788-1-863-EN rit.]

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: C'est ça que je veux dire. Vous pensez pouvoir me faire du mal avec ça? Vous êtes un échec, docteur. Vous ne savez même pas ce que vous êtes.

Directeur Mandeville: Pouvez-vous détailler, 863?

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: Vous vous demandez pourquoi vos scientifiques n'ont trouvé aucun implant anormal dans nos corps? Pourquoi nous n'avons aucune cicatrice chirurgicale? Pourquoi nos gènes sont du pur humain non-modifié? C'est parce que nous sommes humains, docteur.

Directeur Mandeville: Vos radios n'ont pas l'air très humaines, 863.

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: Nous ne vous ressemblons pas. Nous ne sommes pas des échecs. Nous ne sommes pas des enfants.

Directeur Mandeville: Vous nous voyez comme des enfants?

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: Vous ressemblez toujours à des enfants. Vous n'êtes pas finis.

Directeur Mandeville: Qu'est-ce que vous—

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: Vous êtes retardés. Incomplets. Vous êtes comme des amphibiens qui grandissent pour finir par respirer de l'eau au lieu d'air. Les œufs que j'ai surveillés, ils doivent éclore en nous. Ils doivent être finis.

Directeur Mandeville: Donc vous les enlevez pour compléter leur… métamorphose?

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: Nous n'avons pas besoin de compagnie. Nous ne vivons pas comme vous, en troupeaux. Chacun de nous sait ce que nous devons faire. Et chacun de nous en est capable.

Directeur Mandeville: Et que voulez-vous que nous fassions?

SCP-1788-1-863-EN: Grandir. Ou mourir.

Fin de l'enregistrement

"So, she is a 1788-1-EN instance?"

* * *

"We need Τ4 to contain or kill these instances. They are extremely dangerous to everyone around them, especially children."

Lincoln and Luan leave. They know the stakes. This dimension has already been besieged by another set of pedicidal SCPs. The brainwashing Bobble and his Bobblehead child cult of destruction and the child killing piñatas that he used in his deadly game.

SCP-1788-EN is a biological process akin to puberty. This process turns an ordinary human into something more. More psychologically destructive, more malignant, more resistant to termination. The process itself is known as adultism.

"Sophia."

"Hey, Lisa. What's up?"

"I think our mother is infected with SCP-1788-EN."

"Adultism?! There's no known cure for that. We're still researching, but so far, we've got nothing."

"Can't SCP-500-EN cure it? It cures everything!"

"We only have 47 of those. And besides, SCP-1788-EN isn't considered a problem by SCP-500-EN. It's kind of strange. Although, we did test it with a SCP-038-EN cloned version. Can't waste a real pill for this. It…didn't really do anything to SCP-1788-1-347-EN."

"So, there is really no cure?"

"I'm sorry. I'll send All Things Bright and Dutiful to your location. The spread of adultism must be halted at any cost."

The call ends.

"So, I heard Τ4 is coming."

"Go away, Lincoln."

"Lisa. Adultism is a dangerous infection and it has to be stymied before it spreads further."

"Why? Why is this happening?!"

"Sophia is right. We need to stop them from converting our children into more of these psychopathic narcissists!"

"I heard the most famous 1788-EN instance was a Florida man (of course) that was literally too fat to be arrested. George Jolicoeur was 602 pounds and is somehow not dead yet as of the time of my speaking about him right now. Of course, Α 1788-EN instances are around 150-250 kilos, although the metal endoskeleton and the double organs kind of throw off the weight."

Lincoln walks over to Lisa and tries to console her.

"This is the way it ends. We can't do anything about this. All we can do is let Τ4 do their job."

* * *

Speaking of which…Τ4 is let loose on the Burpin' Burger. Where they see what appears to be an instance of SCP-1788-EN attacking a seemingly random person.

"Filthy half-breed! You're no better than the tadpoles outside!"

It then tears the person apart with its bare hands. Kind of like a Mortal Kombat fatality.

"SCP-1788-EN instance detected. Terminate it!"

What follows next appears to come straight out of an anime. Its extra arms burst from pockets of flesh. It charges the MTFs. It's a good thing they have several snipers around. Just to add to the tension, a famous anime song begins to play.

I'm falling down into my shadow  
いく を ひそめて  
まている deadly night

So scary まじょ が えがいた  
かぼちゃ の ばしょ も  
その め に うつせる から

See you in your dreams  
Yeah baby こわい ゆめ だ と しても

Fairy blue  
きみ の ため に ほし を くだかい  
かざりつけた  
Black paper moon  
しんじて くれた なら  
When you're lost here  
I am, forever with your soul

みあげれば かがやく つき の ように

あまい しんく の じゃむ を  
おとした かあど に うかびあがる もじ

Your destiny きみ が のぞべま  
どんな せかい も  
その て に つかめる から

まどわされない で  
だれにも こわせない

Fairy blue  
きみ が くれた いきる あかし  
きずな と いう "えいえん"  
さけんで くれた なら  
I will find you my dear  
どこ に いても  
からみつく じゅばく を ときはなて

だれも しんじられなくて  
ひくつ に なる とき も ある  
それでも きみ の ことば は  
いつでも むね に ひびいてる

Fairy blue  
きみ の ため に ほし を くだき  
かざりつけた "めじるし"  
ゆめ を みうしなて まよた とき  
みあげて ほしい

Fairy Blue  
きみ が くれた いきる あかし  
きずな と いう "しんらい"  
きみ は ひとり じゃない  
When you're lost here  
I am, forever with your soul

たどりつける きみ が しんじる なら

Thankfully, the awesome song bought Τ4 enough time to terminate the SCP-1788-1-EN instance. They only lost 3 members! It sure is a good thing that snipers are super effective at terminating these things. One of the MTFs scan the poor bastard that was torn apart.

"We have a problem."

* * *

Back at SCP-PRM-001…

"Wait, say that again?!"

"That person that was torn apart has a biology half of an Α instance and a normal human. It is our belief that there are more variations of the adultism infection. Its bones are half calcium and iron and it has smaller backups than an Α. We don't know how many Γ variants are there, or if they are as dangerous as the Αs."

O5-6 strokes his Civil War-esque era beard in thought.

"I see. I'll have to tell the other O5s about these…half-breed Γ versions…"

Τ4 leaves the debriefing room.

"SCP-1788-EN has mutated? This is not good…"

O5-6 leaves to inform the other council members.

It sure is a good thing that there is only a 1:100,000 Α to normal people ratio. As far as we know, the infection has been contained into the 36 different SCP dimensions.

But something else will happen that will change the fate of all dimensions…yes; We're in the endgame now.


	32. Antelude 3: The Deification Saga

"**What do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a society that abandons him and treats him like trash? I'll tell you what you get; You get what you fucking deserve!" -Arthur Fleck, October 4, 2019**

And now, we see that we are at Ruckersville, Virginia. At a nondescript house, we see a vaguely humanoid creature. It appears to be androgynous, but associates itself with the female gender. It has what appears to be a necklace with the head of Sonic The Hedgehog, its idol.

This 37 (as of the time of this chronicle's conception) year old man (woman?) child is everyone's favorite autist that everyone trolls. The Internet enigma zeself, Christine Weston Chandler.

I won't bore you with the history of Chris Chan, as there are many documentaries about the insanity and delusion of this mysterious individual. All I can tell you is what happens to xe in this alternate continuity parallel to our own.

So, Chris Chan is still in his delusional little world, as he has always been. Still thinking he's the mayor of CWCville, populated by his cringy Sonic OCs that revere xir as their god.

"Mom! I'm going out!"

The screen pans over to the desiccated corpse of Barb Chandler. Somehow, Chris failed a spot check as they can't even see the **putrefaction of the corpse and the business of flies feasting on it**! No, she isn't dead, she's just sleeping.

"Ok, see you in a few hours."

Chris explores Ruckersville, still in his delusional C-197 OC heaven dimension. If this place actually existed, he might be classified as an SCP. But for now, he's just classified as a delusional nutcase. And that's not even factoring his autism, since people who have actually met autistic people know that they can function better than zir does.

Xe is kind of infamous in the community as a nuisance that gets on people's nerves. Ze did try to kill business owner Michael Snyder when Ruckersville's Game Place was still operational. Xir celebrated on Twitter when he died and when his business went bankrupt. She fucking pepper sprayed a GameStop customer over Sonic's arms being blue. Zir did several degenerate things that would make this story MA rated! Such as when xir [DATA EXPUNGED].

But that is enough to paint a clear picture of them. So, xe's strolling around, trying to avoid any Jerkops (the Ruckersville Police Department) since ze is known for fucking things up in the community. But surprisingly, just this once, Chris Chan didn't cause the incident…well kind of. Let me explain. See, Chris Chan was minding xir's own business when one of those Anomalous Bursts shoots out a small red putty like object at near him. Naturally xe inspects it.

"Oh, is that…it is! It's the Reality Stone!"

He picks it up.

"Finally, unlimited power will be mine!"

The red jasper sears itself into zir's skin. It made ze nauseous, but soon he begins to actually turn into a she! He finally got the breasts and vagina xe so desperately wanted! The rock disengages from her hand. Sadly, zir didn't get the 25% chance for cellular restructuring damage, as well as severe hemorrhaging from the complete obliteration of xir's genitalia!

As should be obvious to anyone with functioning brain cells, this is **not **the Reality Stone. This is SCP-113-EN, The Gender Switcher. It does exactly what it says it does. Transgender people, rejoice!

But remember that gateway 113-EN fell out of? You can see where this is going.

Yep, she got anomalous powers.

Which one?

Apotheosis.

So, Chris Chan has god powers now…It shouldn't be said, but no one person should have this much power. Especially if they can't comprehend how to wield it! There was something about absolute power corrupting absolutely. Well, Chris Chan notices SCP-113-EN.

"I wish I could pick that up without it changing me back…"

He levitates 113-EN with his newfound powers and contains it within a wall of psychic energy.

"You are the best thing ever!"

He goes off to store SCP-113-EN in his house as the Anomalous Burst from which 113-EN came from seals itself. When he has free time not being tyrant mayor of CWCville, he goes to reality and worships the mystical red jasper.

But now he has more important things to do…

"They all thought I was crazy…but who's laughing now?!"

He begins reconstructing Ruckersville into CWCville. God help them all.

"C-197 and E-1218 will complete their merge. Those naysayers won't see it in their lifetime. Let me help accelerate the process!"

Singularity is coming…


	33. A New Foe

With all of the chaos going on, not only do the Louds have to deal with Anomalous Bursts dispensing interdimensional invaders as well as possibly giving some people and/or objects anomalous powers, they also have to deal with the repercussions of said anomalies.

SCP-230-EN holding the grandest party of all time and killing off 900 redshirts (the highest anomalous kill count by a single anomaly). The formation of a UN taskforce after 106-EN invaded France resulting in TLH-SCP-PTB-1415 experiencing a BK broken masquerade/lifted veil scenario, as well as intertwining TLH-SCP-PTB-1415 and SCP-PRM-001. 085-EN may be harmless, but she can fuck with the rules of this dimension, since, in this reality, it is triple layered, much like Taco Bell's $1-dollar nachos. She also has become metanarrative ever since someone fucked up and left her document in her cell, allowing her to read it and come back with existential depression. She really has become one of us! Everyone's favorite breaker of laws almost caused social panic after offing a person trying to find Hillary Clinton (who she herself is an infohazardous pataphysical SCP, since anyone who has dirt on her gets arkanicided with multiple, usually two, bullets to the back of the head). SCP-096-EN is still better looking than Hillary. SCP-706-EN being the inverse, she wants to die by any means necessary (due in part by her tragic backstory) but she's getting slightly better. 3218 total children from 20 different countries being "muda muda mudaed" to death by 20 956-EN instances for the deadliest game since Danganronpa! A class 5 reality warper covered in the stigmata of others' follies as well as a captive turned hero stopping a potential XK (even if she did have to knock out New York's power grid to do it).

Even internationally, there are problems. 2 lovers reuniting amidst the chaos of hope and despair. A man's journey to ascend to nirvana. The replacement of an entire country and the futility of existence.

Back home, psychological torment and a psychotropic disease plagued Michigan before being freed. The destruction of an irksome group planning pheromonal warfare. Turning an innocent Ebola man into a living cure all to neutralize a coming pandemic. Helping a young girl deal with her inner demons. The shattering of a crown and the quelling of another. The coming darkness of NEU-DAY. The turning of a rich people's community into a military base, bent on the annihilation of the anomalous (and poor people). Further experimentation of the sisters' anomalies by another set of sisters. And finally, the most damaging of them all, the apotheosis of Chris Chan and his plans for Singularity.

But, despite all of this, there's one threat more important to the Louds than even all dimensions being merged into one and trillions of lives from all worlds suddenly ending.

The threat of being broken apart.

* * *

See, since the Louds are a big family and are forced to interact with one another nearly all the time, it would stand to reason that they've gotten quite close with one another. The fact that they are all siblings also helps a lot. But since they've lost their dad to the cowbell and their mom to the adultism disease, it has become quite clear that 11 people can't survive on just two people's income. At least their SCP occupants have pocket dimensions, so their needs are just taken care of automatically. Just like how the IRS is Al Capone's greatest enemy, it looks like CPS will be the Louds' greatest non-anomalous enemy. They begin deliberating how to deal with this greatest of foes.

"How about we just pocket dimension ourselves? Thanks to our reality warper here, we are essentially taken care of…at least until this craziness blows over." Lynn posits

Leni shakes her head at this proposal.

"Even if Sigurrós and I pocket dimension us all, eventually, someone is going to notice that we're…not in Royal Woods and a town wide manhunt will be coming after us! If someone notices us, we'd have like 10 stars on our GTA wanted level."

"I don't think they're going to send the military to find some lost children. I know because those people at Walmart are still missing. Actually, they're probably dead right now."

"Ok, but what's so bad about CPS interfering?" Lola asks

"How about the fact we'd probably never see each other ever again? Or us being trapped in a foster home? I don't want to hedge my bets on something good maybe happening to us. Besides, I don't want to be split up from you guys!" Lincoln counters

"Why change anything at all? Even if mom and dad are gone, we can still carry on…right?" Lana wonders

"Leni and I can't provide for 11 people by ourselves! Even when mom and dad were around, we barely survived on three incomes." Lisa points out

"Maybe not 2…but what about 6 incomes?"

"If you're talking about our babysitting jobs, they happen so infrequently that we can't rely on it. Besides, we all know that those are to pay for…whatever we wanted when they were still around." Leni states

"Well, we could get real jobs."

"If that's the case, then Luna and Luan would have to get work permits, since they're under 16."

"Says the 4-year-old indoctrinating our youths at university."

"I am a very rare exception to the rule."

"Well, can't the rest of us help out?"

"According to the child labor laws, no, you can't. only people 14 and up can work in Michigan."

"Can't we just revive our mom?" Lucy questions

"Do you want to risk her infecting children with adultism when she comes back?" Lisa responds

Lincoln tries to think of a solution to this problem, but not even the man with the plan can solve this conundrum.

"How about we split up? At least then we'd be able to visit each other."

"Interesting. Continue."

"We'd either split into 3 teams of 4 or 4 teams of 3. I know that would be 12 people, but it's the closest metric we have. Since we can't split a person into thirds without them dying, Lisa."

"What are you looking at me for?"

"Anyways, I'm planning to room with Clyde, since he is my best friend. I'd just have to get the ok from his dads. I can take three sisters with me, max, since we all know Clyde's dads can't take care of all of us. So, who'll volunteer?"

The sisters deliberate amongst themselves…after a while, they come to a consensus.

"Ok, we've decided that Lola, Lana and Luan would be rooming with you."

"Alright. I'll keep that in mind."

"Group two would be our home base at the Loud House. It would include me, Lisa, Lily and Lucy."

"Makes sense. Now…the last group would consist of Lori, Luna and Lynn. But, where would they vacate to?"

Lori thinks about this for a moment. She could ask her precious Bobby boo boo bear if they could move in temporarily. But that probably wouldn't work. Since the Casagrandes already occupy both 2A and 2B, they can't just room in with them! They don't really have enough room for 13 more people…

Option 2: beg her frenemy Carol to let them room at her house. Not sure how that will work, but this is the desperation option.

"Yeah, I literally have no idea what to do."

* * *

Hmm. No one is happy with this, but this is the only option to not get deported to foster care. The next day, Lincoln asks Clyde about their new situation.

"Hey, Clyde."

"What's up, Lincoln."

"We're in dire straits, buddy."

"Oh, no! What's happened?!"

"Well, the anomalous killed both our parents. Dad rung SCP-513-EN and mom was infected by SCP-1788-EN."

"You're going to have to explain what those are…"

"SCP-513-EN is a rusty cowbell that summons an entity to Freddy Kreuger you until go crazy from sleep deprivation."

"Freddy Kreuger?"

"You haven't watched "A Nightmare on Elm Street", haven't you?"

"No."

"Well, it's about this serial killer who kills people in their dreams, until the franchise jumped the shark and made him kill people in the real world. 513-1-EN kind of functions like early Kreuger."

"Ok?"

"SCP-1788-EN is a process that makes people into a 2 hearted, 2 brained, metal skeleton abomination with 4 arms! These things turn children into more copies of themselves. They are highly malignant and narcissistic."

"So, you're saying that these two anomalies killed your parents."

"Yes, and since they're both gone, I'm afraid CPS is either going to separate us, or send us to a foster home."

The word "separate" kind of freaks Clyde out. He can't lose his best buddy of six years!

"No, you can't go away! Is there anything I can do to help?!"

"Well, I was going to ask you to ask your dads if some of us can stay with you?"

"Uh, sure. Anything for you, buddy."

"Oh, and don't worry. Only 4 of us will be rooming with you. We all know that your dads can't handle all 11 of us."

"That might be able to convince them…but what about the others?"

"4 of the other sisters are staying at home, while 3 of them are long for somewhere else. I'm not sure how the other group is faring."

* * *

Meanwhile…across town…

"Look, I ordinarily wouldn't ask this, but I'm desperate. Can we room with you for a while?"

"Don't you have a home already, Lori?"

"Yes, but thanks to all this Anomalous Burst craziness, our parents are kind of…gone."

"Wait, what?!"

"Not so loud! Look, we don't want CPS to separate us, so we're forced to room with someone else until we're 18."

"This is quite an odd request…"

"Look, Lynn, Luna and I need a place stay, and since Leni can't take care of all of us, this is the only option left…well, besides being homeless, but that would definitely alert them!"

"Well, I do owe you for saving my life from that SCP-939-EN instance…I'll try to convince my parents…but it will be an uphill battle.

Later that night…

"Hey, Clyde. How was school today? Did you avoid any rainbows?"

"Yes dads, I'm fine. But something has come up."

"Did you get fired from your junior administrator job?"

"No. It's about Lincoln."

"Lincoln didn't die, did he? We should call Doctor Lopez!"

"No, Lincoln is still alive. It's just…he told me that his parents died."

"WHAT?!"

"That's it! I'm calling Child Protective Services!"

"NO!"

Clyde slaps Harold's cellphone out of his hands.

"If you do that, they'd be separated, put into a foster home, and we'd probably never see them again!"

"See, this is why we told our sweet little apple slice to avoid those rainbow cracks! They are deadly!"

"Lincoln has come up with a temporary solution. Him and some of his sisters are planning on living here temporarily."

"Clyde, we know Lincoln is your best friend, but we can't accommodate 11 people!"

"Well, only 4 of them will be moving in."

"Ok…that is slightly more manageable."

Clyde's dads begin discussing this…

"Ok. I think we can take care of 5 people."

"YES! Thank you, dads!"

We can only see human silhouettes talking about something. It's hard to make out…but it appears the smaller shadow is attempting to persuade the bigger ones to do something. One of them reacts with fury, while the other is somewhat concerned. It begins talking again and the furious shadow begins to calm down. It appears the taller shadows have agreed to the younger shadows demands.

It seems this will keep them at bay for just a little while longer. Now, with that little inconvenience stymied for a while, they can focus on stopping Singularity and Chris Chan's delusional plan to unite fiction and reality into one!


	34. ZC-2599-ACS

**The first is "voluntary". The thing that usually makes or breaks a case of X-Men Syndrome is whether or not the anomalous effect in question is voluntary on the part of the SCP object or not. SCP-590-EN's effect, for instance, happens any time it touches another human being regardless of its will, and the Foundation exploits that fact ruthlessly. Mr. Deeds, while incredibly powerful in the sheer broadness of its capabilities, has no real will of its own and can only use those capabilities at the behest of whomever rings its bell. SCP-027-2-EN is much more the victim of its anomalous effects than the master, as are SCP-273-EN, SCP-817-EN, and SCP-507-EN, the last of which will be talked about in more depth later. -So You Want to Write A Humanoid SCP Object, Avoiding X-Men Syndrome, Rule #1**

We cut back and see that Chris Chan has replaced Ruckersville with his fantastically delusional CWCville. Good news, Chris Chan has no idea how cities work. Bad news, Chris Chan has no idea how cities work. In order to solidify xir's rule as the tyrannical god empress/mayoress for life of CWCville, ze needs to find a countermeasure to what has happened so far.

"_It appears that 900 people have suddenly died from withdrawal like symptoms. The thing linking them all together was a party billed as "the greatest of all time". The chemical found during tox screens has a similar structure to dopamine."_

"_We're here with our correspondent in Paris' 19__th__ arrondissement as it appears a little girl has entombed the toxic entity torturing France by its mere presence. She has denied an interview by president Macron."_

"_In what has been declared the deadliest game since Danganronpa, 3812 children were killed by these pi__ñ__ata looking creatures across 20 different countries (most of them islands). The ringleader was thought to have come through an Anomalous Burst and is widely theorized by the populace to be the Deadlights from the Stephen King macroverse."_

"_In unrelated news, Gavin Newsom was arrested and sentenced for willfully and maliciously deleting critical information in stopping the child killers. His motive was to get the Left to impeach President Trump as revenge for drone striking Arab children in Syria, Afghanistan and Iraq; Despite the fact that ISIS, Al Qaeda and the Taliban were using them as human shields in a guerilla warfare gambit."_

"_There's been a possible terrorist attack in New York. The assailant used what scientists have determined to be a military grade EMP device to fry the electrical grid. Mayor Bill De Blasio had this to say."_

"_This is all Trump's fault for abandoning New Yorkers to destroy America as Fascist in Chief!"_

"_Our correspondent in Akasaka, Minato, Japan has received breaking news! Apparently, Danganronpa creator Kazutaka Kodaka has been found to have created a despair cult based off his own creation. Police are now weeding out members of said cult. Spike Chunsoft is now under investigation in connection with Mr. Kodaka. Composer Masafumi Takada was found to have no connections to the cult. Mr. Kodaka has been ruminating in Fuchu prison."_

"_Novoselic declares itself fascist and supports Trump. Globalists and Leftists Reee-ing already!"_

"_Nationwide missing person's search for legendary wrestler John Cena still ongoing. No one has seen him yet."_

"_Ebola man Doctor Kent Brantly single handedly prevents global pandemic! Hailed as hero!"_

* * *

Despite the sensationalist headlines, even the more mentally deficient than a normal autist, Chris Chan, realizes that these anomalies can destroy zir's megalomaniacal lust for power! Xir must stop these superhero posers at all costs, and so, utilizing his newfound god powers, summon the one man who's an expert in this sort of stuff. Ze also makes a translator that can decipher xe's Chris Chan-isms. He summons Warren Worthington II from M-616, founder of Worthington Labs and creator of the Mutant Suppressive Cure (at least in the movie canon). If he can temporarily disable **the X-Men, (especially Magneto)** then he can make a permanent cure to the anomalous. They just need the perfect test subject…

"Huh? Where am I?"

"Mr. Worthington. I've heard of your famous Mutant Cure."

"Yes. What about it?"

"It was a great idea, but it only **suppressed **the mutant gene. I need a **permanent cure**."

"Why so?"

"Look, our universe is plagued with anomalies. They are quite a bit different from the mutants, but they have the propensity to cause just as much if not more damage than them! Help me find a cure to the anomalous."

"I see…lead the way."

Chris Chan never included a laboratory in his CWCville schematics, so ze just turned the observatory into a temporary laboratory. They begin setting up their experiments.

"So, what exactly are we doing?"

"I have a theory that this Korean girl is the key."

Xer snaps its fingers and a Korean girl with hair blacker than a spatial night appears before them. She appears to be about 14-years-old.

"According to reports from Doctor Wensley, she has absolutely no psychotropic resistance and will obey any command without fail. As for the portion of the task, she can complete…well that varies, but it will never be 100%."

"So, how is she the key to the anomalous cure?"

"Zena Cho here is able to never complete any task, Mr. Worthington. If we can create a serum that can degrade their anomalies to nothing, then it will work."

"However, unlike the X-gene, I theorize that the anomalous abilities people have are the result of interdimensional cosmic radiation from the Anomalous Bursts which are interdimensional gateways between dimensions. If the cure can act like activated charcoal and expel the radiation from their bodies, then it will depower them to the point even a single bullet will be able to kill them!"

* * *

"That actually might work."

"Ok, let's try a blood sample."

A cringy Sonic OC scientist draws a blood sample from her and delivers it to its master.

"And I have the perfect test subject."

Ze summons an SCP-956-EN instance.

"This piñata like anomaly can't stopping killing children. If the cure works, it will become a normal piñata. Observe."

She shows a picture of some random kid to 956-EN. It's child murdering senses go off exponentially! It tries to attack the picture, to no avail.

"And now…"

Xir injects the blood sample into 956-EN. It still has murder tendencies.

"And now we know it doesn't work."

"Maybe if we show her atrocities, it will affect her body in some way?"

"Sounds like pseudoscience, but we're willing to try anything."

Next, they begin bombarding her with video footage of Korean War atrocities, hoping that something will happen to her that will change the cure. A second sample was taken and injected into 956-EN.

Nope, it still has murderous tendencies.

"Well, that didn't work."

"Running out of ideas, but maybe we could use it as a nocebo?"

Eh, it's a long shot, but they are running out of ideas. A third sample was taken and injected into SCP-956-EN.

Miraculously, it doesn't to anything when shown a picture of a child.

"Just to be sure."

Ze shows a picture of Justin Beiber when he was a kid. It didn't attack the Bieber picture.

"I think we did it. Thanks for your help with this predicament, Mr. Worthington."

Chris Chan teleports him back to M-616 as well as teleporting the 956-EN instance back to an SCP-verse. She then talks to a Sonic OC.

Begin mass production of ZC-2599-ACS.

"Right away, zir."

She snaps the test subject away. Chris Chan doesn't need her anymore since they can replicate the cure a million times over! Chris Chan will reign supreme and for eternity! No one can stop xe now!


	35. All Coming Together

""**Rise! O, Dark Lord of Despair! Crush the stars! Lay waste to care! Rise and cover the land in sorrows! May your symphony of emptiness bring an end to all tomorrows!" No one knows from whence he came…only that he has existed for aeons…unchanging and unrelenting. It seems this being of darkness will wander the galaxy…until one day he is reborn into a new existence. Void exists in all dimensions…but his shining form in another dimension…inspired the Ancients to transcribe his mysteries in sacred texts. What will be written next? Will the new scrolls describe a destroyer of worlds? Or an ally to the stars?" -Ancient celestial text roughly translated from Lumine Lettering**

In CWCville, the almighty goddess has amassed a ludicrous amount of the anomalous cure serum. This compound, which the scientific community has christened "ZC-2599-ACS", as its true designation, since goes by many names. Xe has several tens of thousands of these dispersed within the CWCville military. Even though xir has his nondescript cringy OCs as commanders of the different factions, Chris Chan still needs an elite guard, much like that tubby guy he idolizes so much so that his city is modeled after his. What was his name again…it was Kim something?

Anyway, to this end, he created five archons, with zeself being the grand mistress archon over them all! The first being what looks like the red headed stepchild daddy used to beat all grown up. This man has orange hair straighter than a razor blade and sick shades to hide his devilish eyes. He is wearing a pale green denim coat. Bestowed upon him was an ivory ring with a grandiose crown, pelted with arrows!

The second archon, birthed from mother Earth herself has no definable shape, for she represents the inhibition within us all. Following the golden rule, she won't attack unless king, country or self is besieged, but once that happens, she is near unstoppable! Feeding on humanity's desire for guts and glory, her unquenchable bloodlust is only stopped by a murderous mark. _Homo homini lupus est_, indeed. Her crimson circlet depicts a bloodstained sword.

The third archon, a celestial being from another dimension. It was birthed ever since the universe's creation and untold power is wielded by it to effortlessly defeat all who had opposed it. Having all the powers of the universe at its disposal does nothing to quell its appetite for chaos. This being is a pink spherical creature that has thin blue neodymium magnet like eyes with nubs for arms and nutshell like pods for feet. His perfect black signet emblazons a black hole with a gamma ray burst in the center of it.

The fourth archon isn't so much an archon as it is an esoteric idea. We all fear something right? Fear makes us do stupid things, does it not? Which phobia do you have? Gerascophobia? Atelophobia? Foniasophobia? Eremophobia? Chronophobia? Hormephobia? Mastigophobia? Coulrophobia? Melophobia? Proditiophobia? Scopophobia? Methylphobia? Thanatophobia? It can inflict all of these and more! Fears plague our mind and poison our soul with its grasp on our psyches. All we have to fear is fear itself, right FDR? Because it is abstract, it has no ring.

And of course, the fifth archon, you know them, you love to troll them, it's Chris Chan. Ze's ashen signet logo is a broken skull with its brain appearing to degenerate.

* * *

"You four will be the guardians of CWCville. With me as rightful ruler, none shall oppose us! Soon, the Dimensional Merge will unite fiction and reality into one grand universe!"

Xir manically laughs. However, it at appears the Archon of Famine has some reservations. All of the other archons (except Pestilence) are firmly chaotic evil, while Famine is chaotic neutral. This mismatch of alignments is sure to cause some chaos! Famine also can't "communicate" like the others (yes, even Pestilence can communicate, even though it is an idea). Famine tries to communicate to the mad dictator, but Chris Chan smacks him away.

"What is wrong with you, Famine?! You dare oppose me?!"

Famine stands its ground.

"Archons, stand down. He's mine."

Famine is forced to defend himself from this tyrant. He immediately uses the power of a black hole to absorb zir. Chris Chan responds by throwing bombs down at him, which he gets the bomb ability out of.

"Usually when you feed something a bomb, it explodes! How are you still alive?!"

Chris Chan tries to burn Famine away, the rubber coating surrounding Famine begins to weaken and melt, cracking it.

"Burn away!"

A luminous energy radiates from within the rubber. The energy tears itself out of its rubber suit. This being of pure light temporarily blinds the other archons. The energy fuses its former leglike appendages into a spiky taillike nub with two other "feet" for it to walk on. Radiant wings emerge from its arm nubs; However, they are disjointed so the creature can still use its nubs, but the greatest change is that the being's mouth changes to have a dark blue eye with a pupil blacker than space itself, with a "pseudo-mouth" forming its "mouth". Its pseudo-mouth can still copy abilities. The eye-mouth, arms, tail and pseudo-mouth can attack independently from one another!

This Kirby/Zero Two hybrid even gets a dramatic boss subtitle opening!

_**Celestial Remnant, Void**_

Chris Chan "pauses" to see if this incarnation of Void has a pause description just like in the video games. Surprisingly…it does.

_Formed from the same energy that caused the Big Bang, this fragment of pure chaos has redirected the powers of the universe at you! Can anyone defeat it at even 1 in 8 octillionths of its original power?!_

* * *

Chris Chan unpauses as Void changes its ability to its needle form. Its wings turn as hard as quills, its tail turns into a spiky cactus to club Chris Chan with, it's eyes fire eightfold spiky cluster bombs, kind of like Just Shapes and Beats' pulse bombs but triangles instead of circles and the pseudo-mouth juts out a javelin sized spike!

"Cute, it's going to poke me. What ability counters needle? How about…wheel!"

Chris Chan tries to use the wheel ability and runs over the angel creature several times before a spike bomb pops him and causes him to skid his face on the pavement. Ze reverts back to normal. Void appears to have a flashback of some sort, hearing an insane cultist speak in moon rune.

"_上昇、絶望の暗い主__! __星そのつぶす__! __ケアする廃棄物を横たわる__!"_

Void changes into its cutter form. Its wings' segments burst into approximately 20 bladed boomerangs, it's tail turns into a wave shot from Galaga to blast anyone away with a cutter pulse. Its eye launches a tracer boomerang that homes into its target while the pseudo-mouth spits out a return boomerang.

"Boomerangs? Easy."

Chris Chan transfigures himself and turns into solid metal. And he plods as slowly as a 600-pound man to the Heart Attack Grill, Chris Chan slowly walks into the being, doing chip damage to it until it moves on to its next phase.

"_上昇がって悲しみの土地を覆う__! __あなたの空虚の交響曲が明日すべてを終わらせますように__!"_

Void turns into its stone form. This form has the second least variance in its attacks, but its wings burrow into the ground, causing a Stone Edge like move to hurt its opponents, its tail becomes a stalactite, causing fissures and earthquakes to destabilize anyone, it's eye and pseudo-mouth fires off rocks at its opponents.

Chris Chan merely scoffs and blasts the being with a hyper pressurized jet stream, dealing massive damage to its weak point and immediately sending it into its next phase.

"_ダークロード__,__カオスが成長するにつれて__! __破壊力を胚内に保存する__!"_

Void switches into its ice form. Its wings turn into ice shards that can impale its target when it flaps its wings, like the silicon storm of HB189733b, its tail tuns into a massive icicle it can shoot out at people, it's eye fires off blocks of ice and its pseudo-mouth breathes out a nitrogen wind to instant freeze anyone that gets close to it!

Chris Chan just does her best SCP-457-EN impression and uses Flare Blitz on it until it goes into its next phase. Since fire melts ice, it happened within 20 seconds.

Void turns extremely luminous, so luminous that it knocked out power to Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia and Maryland! Yes, the entire state! They're actually pretty lucky it's this weak. Since at peak strength, the Earth would have been vaporized already, since it would have been as hot as a quasar! Naturally, everyone notices this. Since Trump can't nuke a hurricane, he definitely can't nuke a lukewarm quasar. People can't even shoot at it since, even in its weakened form, it can melt bullets. Guess they'll just have to live without power for a while.

"_あなたの翼に__, __暗い判断がもたらす__!"_

* * *

"Incomprehensible amount of energy detected. Massive amount of unknown cosmic energy centralized in Ruckersville, Virginia."

Lisa notices this oddity.

"Eldest sister? Didn't you say that Ruckersville would turn into a post-apocalyptic wasteland?"

…

"It appears we're at the beginning of the end."

Lincoln begins calling Lisa.

"What's going on?"

"Elder brother, it appears something terrible is happening to Virginia, and if Lori is correct, we're going to have to fix it."

"I see. I'll go tell the others. But we may need some help with this…"

* * *

Back to the fight, Void switches its ability to fire. Its wings become fiery, as a phoenix screeching is heard. Actually, fire is the lamest of the seven abilities, since all it does is charge at Chris Chan. The tail, eye and pseudo-mouth fire off embers to slow Chris Chan's approach.

Chris Chan just uses the pressure washer again. Lame ability deserves lame anticlimax to defeat it.

"_あなたの悲劇のシンフォニーがすべての万事終わりをもたらしますように__!"_

It's sixth form turns it solid black. It doesn't really do anything, so Chris Chan goes slowly forward, lights a match under it and…

الله أكبر!

The biggest non-nuclear explosion just annihilated Ruckersville! Well, Chris Chan just lit around 250 pounds of nitroglycerin…so, there's that.

"_これらの古代人運命にを示す__! __私たちが根絶する彼らの貴重な宇宙__!"_

Void switches into his seventh, final and most destructive form, spark. Its wings become coated in ionic plasma, firing off bolts when it flaps its wings, it's tail turns into a lightning rod, so spark is useless against it, it's eye fires off bolts of lightning and its pseudo-mouth emits spark balls to disable enemies!

Chris Chan merely snaps xe's fingers and Void gets dusted, as if he were Thanos snapping all life out of existence. For the record, Chris Chan could have done that at any time, but that would have been very anticlimactic. Besides, he has the power of Deus Ex Machina, why wouldn't ze abuse it?!

"_Niru, __あなたの力を解き放ちます__! __この惨めな宇宙にそれが最後の時間であることを知らせる__!"_

"Pathetic archon, thinking he can defy me."

He addresses the others.

"All of you, prepare to guard CWCville!"

Chris Chan uses the power of Deus Ex Machina to repair the town after the battle.

* * *

Meanwhile, in SCP-PRM-001…

"It has been brought to our attention that a super powerful cosmic energy has been detected in TLH-SCP-PTB-1415."

"Yes, and it's energy signature is even more powerful than 2700-EN."

"That dimension…why is there always some sort of anomalous activity with that dimension?"

"I propose we use SCP-2700-EN to nuke that dimension so that it can destroy that cosmic entity."

"SCP-2700-EN is time released to open in 300 years. It still has 223 years left before it opens."

"Well, maybe it will prematurely open when exposed to cosmic rays. Besides, it gets rid of our teleforce."

"Well, lets put it to a vote. Dump teleforce into TLH-SCP-PTB-1415?"

"6 hands go up."

"All opposed?"

"7 hands go up."

"…fine. Next order of business."

O5-7 begins to speak.

"It has come to my attention that O5-2 has been violating protocol by helping this backwater dimension and not our own. I propose we depose her, demote her to D-class and find a replacement O5-2."

All of the members begin talking amongst themselves.

"So, who agrees with me?"

O5-13, O5-12, O5-11, O5-10, O5-7, O5-3 vote yes

"Opposed?"

O5-1, O5-2, O5-4, O5-8 and O5-9 vote no

"Well, Blackbird? You didn't vote."

"Oh, right. I vote no."

"O5-6?"

"Well, taking into account Ms. Light's recent actions, I'd have to say yes, she's gone renegade, which I respect. However, I'd have to agree we'd need to secure our home dimension first."

"Huh, another 7-6 vote. Well, it looks like your luck has run out. We sentence you to D-Class for the rest of your life. We'll take back your vials of SCP-006-EN water."

O5-10 takes them away.

"Prison orange really suits you, Sophia! I'd hate to be imprisoned with the anomalies you contained."

The council disbands as the Red Right Hand remand the former O5-2 to Site-17. They place a tracker, the same tracker that they use for SCP-507-EN, outfitted with a shock collar in case she tries to escape. Α1 escort her out.

O5-11 goes to a far away secure room and calls someone.

"Δ command? It's me. Yeah, that crazy bitch voted an O5 out. If you're going to attack, now's the time. Which one got deposed? O5-2, why? Oh, you wanted her gone since she's the biggest threat? Yeah, I agree. O5-7 is the most dangerous one and she's taken over O5-2's district temporarily."

Should intermittent vengeance arm again his red right hand to plague us?

It appears SCP-PRM-001 has gone to shit now. O5-7 just ousted O5-2 in a lust for power. O5-11 was really a plant for the Chaos Insurgency and they might attack the Foundation. The council is in disarray! And what's even worse, Sophia won't be able to help Lisa as a D-Class! They're going to have to face Chris Chan on their own.


	36. Preparations

"**Ok, that is it! This is the final straw! You frickin' fricks! You frickin' fricks! You guys have officially made me lose my marbles! I'm tired of all you fricks! You ruined the Sonic series, hasn't he already suffered enough?! You frickin' fricks!" -Sammyclassicsonicfan's famous last words**

**Facet ****Γ**

"Guys, I just detected a massive energy spike in Virginia!"

"Is this the beginning of the end, like Lori predicted?"

"Are we going to be ok?"

"I'm not sure, Sig."

"So, according to CWCTV in Virginia, it says a glorious battle took place there and their goddess singlehandedly defeated the threat!"

"Oh, no. Lori mentioned something about a tyrant goddess in that area!"

"She also mentioned an intrepid reporter trying to get exclusive coverage of Singularity."

"Oh no, he doesn't work for CNN, does he?"

"No, he's freelance."

"We're going to have to go over there, stop this lunatic and make it so that Singularity won't unite fiction and reality into one!"

"But we can't do it alone! We're going to need help sieging the city stronghold where xe resides."

"I'll call the others, we're going to need everyone for this."

**Facet ****Ζ**

"So, do you think SCP-096-EN can eat SCP-024-FR?"

"I say no, the sandwich is a cognitohazard that makes you break your jaw if you try to eat it."

"I say yes, SCP-096-EN's jaw is four times wider than a human. He totally can swallow that."

"SCP-024-EN, le sandwich de disjoncteur de mâchoire, was made by GOI art terrorist group "Are We Cool Yet"."

"Do you think SCP-173-EN was made by Are We Cool Yet?"

"It's my headcanon. Izumi Kato being a member of Are We Cool Yet and all of his untitled series being SCPs are Girl Jordan's headcanon."

Lincoln gets a call from Lisa.

"Elder brother, it appears that our eldest sister's prediction is rapidly coming true. We're going to need everyone to stop a lunatic and save all dimensions."

"I see, we'll be right over."

The call disconnects.

"Lola, Lana, Luan; Lisa called a sibling meeting. We might be heading into the endgame."

The four of them leave and head toward facet Γ, the Loud House.

**Facet ****Ι**

Lunareclipse09: What's up music lovers? Luna Loud is in the house!

Sharpchords06: Weren't you at the Mick Swagger concert yesterday? I think I saw you in the front row!

Lunareclipse09: Probably, I'm just lurking on this forum to see if any other music lovers join.

Sharpchords06: Alright, good luck.

Sharpchords06 has left the chat

…

Mapleleaf2016 has joined the chat.

Lunareclipse09: I don't think I've seen you before? Maple, what's your favorite music track?

Mapleleaf2016: Cascade by Kubbi.

Lunareclipse09: Cascade? A great choice! My favorite is Close to Me.

Mapleleaf2016: Close to Me? So, you like the destroyer's music…

Lunareclipse09: Destroyer?

Mapleleaf2016: Ashley Charles AKA Sabrepulse. His music causes the most destruction but they are also some of the best tracks in the game. They are the forbidden fruit of chiptune music.

Jkollins8bit joined the chat

Jkollins8bit: I see we're talking about Sabrepulse…

Lunareclipse09: Yeah.

Mapleleaf2016: Actually, we were going to talk about Big Giant Circles next.

Lunareclipse09: No, we aren't.

Mapleleaf2016:

Jkollins8bit: You know, I am a semi-famous drummer on YouTube.

Mapleleaf2016: Oh my god, are you Jerod Collins, the Ultimate Drummer?! I've seen your videos!

Jkollins8bit: I wouldn't say "ultimate…"

Lunareclipse09: 8BitDrummer, play Sub to Me!

Jkollins8bit: watch?v=uF0J-3TZOFw

Mapleleaf2016: *nervously sweats*

Lunareclipse09: Why so nervous?

Mapleleaf2016: awesome remix + awesome song = earworm = destruction!

Jkollins8bit: SUB TO ME!

(The remaining lurkers hear Jerod replay his cover of Close to Me, what a treat!)

Mapleleaf2016: Oh shit! That was so awesome it caused collateral damage! No joke! I think 2 city blocks just got wiped out!

Mapleleaf2016: I wonder if I can play Close to me on piano. I am the Ultimate Pianist, after all. Even better, Me and Jerod could perform a duet!

Lunareclipse09: Wait, Ultimate Pianist? Kaede, shouldn't you be dead?

Jkollins8bit: Am I missing something?

Lunareclipse09: Mapleleaf2016 might be a Kaede role player. You've heard of Danganronpa, right?

Jkollins8bit: Yes, I've heard. So, she got offed?

Lunareclipse09: Chapter 1.

Mapleleaf2016: My handlers are definitely going to take away my Internet connection…oh no…

Connection terminated.

Lunareclipse09: Well, this was fun. Signing off.

Lunareclipse09 has left the chat.

"Luna! Lisa's been trying to get a hold of you for 15 minutes! Sibling meeting."

"Woah, must be serious…"

The three of them regroup at facet Γ.

* * *

At facet Γ…

"Right, is everyone here? Well, we all know why we're here. We need help in breaching the enemy stronghold."

"Our enemy is a fan of the Sonic series, so we need people who can take advantage of this."

"I've got two people in mind, although they may be hard to find."

"Who?"

"Chadtronic. He has experience in dealing with autistic Sonic fans. And Sammyclassicsonicfan, since he used to be one, he can find weaknesses in xir's defenses!"

"I'll try to contact them."

Leni does so…surprisingly both of them agreed. Leni and Sigurrós go off to retrieve them after getting their addresses (they were very hard to find). They take any weapons they want to use toward the final battle. Sigurrós said they would be like Minecraft enchantments. Chadtronic took his diamond sword, NES cape and NES controller pillow, Sammy got his future combat gear.

They come back with the two heroes.

"Chad, you're here because the greatest threat to the Sonic series, and the world, has emerged!"

"Oh no, is it Sammy?"

"Worse, it's Chris Chan. Sammy is nothing compared to Chris Chan."

"Chris Chan is the ze that pepper sprayed a GameStop employee because Sonic's arms are blue."

"I've heard of him."

Sammy emerges from the portal.

"You're going to have to team up to defeat an ancient evil that plagues the Sonic series."

"Movie Sonic?"

"Chris Chan."

"Can we even defeat something like that?"

Everyone appears to be ready to take the fight to zir, when a new combatant appears.

"Stella, what are you doing here?"

"Clyde told me you were going to save the universe after you left his house, and well, I want to help you."

"Sure, we could always use more Deus Ex Machina users on our side, especially since zir is one zeself."

Cassie also shows up.

"So, you're going off the final battle, huh? Well, I don't think I have an anomaly that can help you, but I'll watch your house in case some of you die."

"Thanks, Cassie."

"It's the least I can do."

Leni generates a portal to near the outskirts of CWCville.

"It's time. Morituri te salutant."

Cassie puts a sign on the door saying that the Louds have "gone on vacation" so the neighbors don't get suspicious. And so, their fourteen-person group enter the portal and are a few miles away from CWCville. The time for the final battle is at hand.


	37. CWCville Seige

"Ok, our target is Chris Chan. He is an autistic who may have symptoms of hebephrenia. The autism kind of makes it hard to tell. He is an emotionally stunted individual and CWCville is his safe space to escape reality."

"We should expect his main base to be heavily fortified. It looks like they have a minigun array surrounding the perimeter. Expect their ground defense force to be the strongest faction. His OCs are the commanders of these platoons."

"So, what's our plan?"

"According to this map on DeviantArt, there's an electrical power plant in the Zappin' district."

"No, there isn't."

"Well, not even Chris Chan zeself knows what's in the town, so…"

"This is a suicide mission?!"

"As I was saying, if we take out the power plant, we can disable the minigun array, and phase two of our siege can begin. That's when we can send in the others that don't have ridiculously high defense or Deus Ex Machina powers. It will be an all-out assault to get to the Church of God-Jesus, where Chris sits upon xe's gilded throne, surrounded by those guardians."

"Right."

"Chad, Ethan, Leni and Lana will go for the power plant. We'll be waiting for the second attack when the array goes down. Leni has Deus Ex Machina powers, so she can hopefully make it so the miniguns don't obliterate you."

"Don't worry, guys. I called in some air support."

Cool ships in Shadow's color scheme streak across the sky.

"Wait, was that…?"

"Star Wolf? The space pirate mercenary group from the Star Fox series?"

"This might work. Chris Chan has such a high knowledge (or lack thereof) of Sonic, that ze might not be able to comprehend anything else."

"Well, let's begin."

* * *

Inside CWCville…

"Robbie here, no problems…"

Their platoon gets roasted by Wolfen II laser fire.

"Robbie here, there's a small problem."

Chris Chan's glorious visage gets plastered on ze's villainous narcissism screens outside the perimeter. Xe makes an announcement.

"What do you think you can do…against these Gatling guns?!"

The minigun array focuses fire on Star Wolf's ships. With around 24 miniguns firing at them at a time, at least 3 million rounds a second were being shot at them. It sure is a good thing the Wolfen II are futuristic space ships that are only affected by laser fire. Although, Chris Chan did make it so that the miniguns had infinite ammo…

"Let's cause some chaos, boys! Raze this place!"

"Sure thing boss! I can't wait to kill these degenerates!"

"Don't forget we're supposed to support the ground force. I'll take out some of the miniguns."

"Do what you want, Panther. Oh look, a shopping center!"

"I'll take out the major buildings in the feral zones."

Star Wolf splits up and begin attacking the sectors of CWCville from above. Wolf heads to the Feral Exclusionary Zone, where some of Chris Chan's cringy OCs have been infected with literal weaponized autism contracted from years of their lord and savior being trolled online (it's a miracle the whole town hasn't been infected yet.) That madlad actually put a weapons factory and barracks there by complete accident, but it seems that no one has actually gone there. Leon heads straight up and just begins shooting at anything that moves. His modus operandi is killing anything he sees, so nothing's changed. At least he's helping society by causing a mass genocide of furries. Panther begins shooting at the minigun array and manages to destroy around eight of them, as well as blasting a hole in the wall before he's forced to retreat.

"Look, one of the Star Wolf members made a hole, we can get through!"

"Chad, Ethan, Lana; Are you ready?"

"Yes!"

"Bulletproof!"

A white aura surrounds them.

"We should be immune to any minigun fire now."

"Let's go!"

"Charge!"

Leni summons a laser pistol for Lana to defend herself with as well as an assault rifle for herself. Chad gets out his diamond sword and NES pillow shield, while Ethan gets out a grenade launcher (Sig made his arms as strong as the Chadtronic video).

"I didn't make us explosion proof, point that at the enemies, Ethan."

"I will."

The team charges at the hole while around six miniguns fire at them, but thanks to Leni's bulletproofing, they don't get obliterated!

* * *

"**Sir, Sector ****Ζ**** has been breached!"**

"Deploy all ground forces to Sector Ζ! We must protect the Natural Museum of Christory! We don't want another Fire of Alexandria to happen and the populace to not remember my greatness!"

"You heard our lord and savior, get the entire army there now!"

"As for those predators in the sky, War, take care of them! I have a plan that will freeze them out!"

"Right away, my goddess."

War leaves, while Chris Chan does an evil villain pose on the throne.

Meanwhile, our ground team has been killing these Sonichu abominations left and right. But they just don't seem to let up!

"By order of her royal majesty, you are to be executed imme-"

The group was saved by incoming laser fire! A row of hot plasma burns around 20 small infantry platoons, and the executioner is none other than Leon!

"No, you first!"

With Leon providing covering fire (really, he's just here because there's a lot of things to kill), the quartet enter the power plant. Navigating the complex, they find five Sonichu in cryostasis. A green Sonichu, a blue female Sonic, retarded Knuckles, a white angelic hedgehog, and a purple Sonichu with an attitude problem.

"Are those…?"

"The Chaotic Combo. Even in the Bible of Chrischatology, they were thought to be just a legend. We can't let them join this battle! We're already on the losing side, no matter how many platoons Star Wolf help kill, ze has a literal army, and these five super generals could just end the battle instantly."

"We're going to Zemo them?"

"Yes, kill the purple one first. He has the powers of Deus Ex Machina…also he's Chris Chan's surveillance expert."

Ethan swaps his grenade launcher with a Colt .45. Leni hands Chad a Glock.

The four of them take aim and…

**BANG!**

Four synchronous gunshots take down four members of the Chaotic Combo. Only one left. Lana aims her laser pistol at it and blasts it away.

"It's done. There may be a chance…

* * *

Cut to outside…

"Hah, this is too easy!"

"It's not fun killing targets that won't fight back."

The Star Wolf members stop their gloating to notice an Arwing heading straight for them. A bird appears to be piloting it. Must be that hotheaded Falco…wait, isn't Falco blue? This bird is blood red!

"Personally…I prefer the air."

"Oh, it's that annoying bird. Don't you know that I am the great Leon?"

Not Falco annihilates Leon with plasma lasers.

"This has gotten interesting…"

"Time to activate my plan. Cue the blizzard!"

A Fichina strength blizzard sweeps across CWCville. It downs all aircraft. Luckily, Chris Chan just froze everyone outside to death, since they don't have anything for cold resistance.

* * *

Inside the power plant…

The four of them reach the core and find what appears to be a cybernetic angel of Chris Chan as the interface.

"You are not the creator. Intruders will be destroyed!"

Leni "pauses" to see if there is a description of this creature. There is.

_**Vs CPU Blue Heart**_

_The interface for the CWCville power plant, it was made after Chris Chan blessed this avatar of xe's with a part of his soul (kind of like a horcrux, but not really). Destroy the CPU and all of CWCville will lose power, as well as Chris Chan losing a part of ze's soul!_

Leni unpauses.

"Guys, we have to take out the core so the array will go down!"

"Destroy!"

The CPU fires plasma bolts at them, which they dodge.

Chad hacks away at the core with his diamond sword, chipping several pixels away from it and dealing some damage!

"That's it, Chadtronic! Keep it up!"

The CPU fires off a burst wave of plasma. Chad holds up his pillow and Leni generates a psychic shield to defend against it. Ethan gets behind Chad, while Lana gets behind Leni.

"You know, I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with Sammyclassicsonicfan."

"How about side by side with a friend?"

"That I could do."

The burst passes. Ethan gets out his grenade launcher and blasts the core with it, dealing massive damage and causing it to glitch out, causing power surges within CWCville.

"Enough of this!"

The avatar of Chris Chan begins moving around and blasting them from an aerial position.

"We can't get an accurate attack if it keeps moving like that!"

"Maybe…"

Lana tries to transmit herself into the CPUs code. Maybe she can give it a virus or something. Lana enters the code…

"Just try to survive and see if we can get some good attacks in."

"Pathetic fools…Chris Chan will never…be…d…e…f…e…"

The avatar explodes into a brilliant blue burst of light. Lana enters back into the real world.

"Lana did you destroy it for us?"

"Yes. It was pretty easy, actually. Chris Chan doesn't have any fatal exception errors. Just one 0 in the wrong place crashed the whole system. I put several in its code to bug it down and cause its system to crash."

"Let's get out of here!"

The quartet run out of the building.

* * *

Back outside, the blizzard seems to recede as Not Falco just finished off the Star Wolf team.

"Excellent work, War. Head back to base. Let's give our happy go lucky heroes a CWCville welcome!"

"Right away, my goddess."

The four of them emerge on the other side of the power plant to find the other members of their team standing there.

"We saw the minigun array go down! So, we started our second wave of attacks. Star Wolf took down most of the industrial centers to Chris' War machine before they were shot down! Let's proceed to the church!"

It appears, that the Louds and company have successfully breached into CWCville and crippled its military! But, with Chris Chan and ze's archons left to deal with, as well as the ever-looming threat of Singularity, can they race the clock and stop the merging of all dimensions' acceleration before it's too late?!

The final battles are at hand! Let's go, Louds! Win, for all of us!


	38. White Horse, Gray Soul

**I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest. -Revelation 6:2**

**The real Bill and Liliana Mumy were not harmed during the making of this story…possibly. They live in LA, so they may have to dodge homeless people, hypodermic needles and biohazardous waste in California (as of 2016-today) …well, at least Chris Chan didn't get to them…**

* * *

"Look, Chris Chan's forces are…retreating?"

"We have them on the run! Hurry, kill them before they mount a counter offensive!"

A few shots head into the fleeing soldiers of the army…killing a few more of them.

"Lola! Why would you do that?"

"You really need to read The Art of War. Besides, that means there even more furries that are dead, everyone loves that!"

The group walks through the Walmart™ district and heads toward the CWCville Central Church of God-Jesus. Upon getting near the false god's church palace, the delusional goddess zeself emerges, basking the group in a glorious ray of light (actually, he just tried to cast PK Beam Γ for a cheap shot kill on one of them and missed) as the other archons step alongside ze.

"So, you are the interlopers who are razing my city?"

"Where is Ruckersville, you bastard!?"

"Why, it is here, in all of our hearts, my child."

"And all of the people?"

"They're in a better place."

Chris Chan is starting to sound like a cult leader now. Well xe has made xirself god thanks to the Anomalous Burst, so ze may be mad with power. Then again, xir was always a delusional nutcase that can't even tell what reality is anymore.

"You fucking piece of shit! Die!"

Stella materializes a blade and uses her anomaly to flash step around the archons and stab the cult leader turned goddess in the neck. Chris Chan is merely annoyed at this and stabs her back with a hypodermic needle with some purple liquid in it. Stella yanks the knife out and retreats.

"You dare strike the lord?"

A bolt of undivine retribution strikes Stella.

"Father, we saw everything!"

"Should we execute these blasphemers?"

* * *

The original demon spawns from the depths of Chris Chan's autistic, schizophrenic mind of delusional insanity come sprawling forth. It's Sonichu and Rosechu. Chris Chan is hemorrhaging blood since Stella's knife slash cut ze's jugular. In a choking voice, xe says:

"No, I want to punish them myself."

No one understands xir since xir is choking on zir's own blood, so he just Deus Ex Machina's his neck back to normal. It's become quite clear that we can't kill ze ordinarily.

"Ah, that's better. Now as I was saying, the Dimensional Merge is coming soon, children, and unkind people will be erased from existence once C-197 and E-1218 fuse together, uniting fiction and reality into a single cohesive dimension! Why, this couldn't be more perfect!"

"But you just said the unkind will die?"

"Yes, I know! We hopefully kill off all the evil people and OCs and we can hang out with our favorite fictional characters from any medium! I don't see how anyone can't see this as an absolute win!"

"How can you be happy with 4 billion people and an innumerable amount of "evil" fictional characters dying? Don't they have people who care about them? Friends, family, loved ones?"

"Maybe they should have thought about that before turning evil. Anyways, can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. And it looks like 14 more want to be added to the skillet!"

"Not on our watch, Chris Chan! We've got an army behind us!"

Chris Chan looks and sees that Leni and Sigurrós have been creating a massive number of Anomalous Bursts letting in a wide array of heroes from DC, Marvel and even My Hero Academia (just one variant, because there are so many comic book dimensions)! It actually looks like the portal scene from Avengers: Endgame! This may be a bad idea since it was shown in dimension 63i'\ that too many anomalies would destabilize the dimension and cause it to become an -X dimension, but Singularity will fuse all of the dimensions into one, so fuck it.

"You dare spit upon the greatness of the comic book creators and writers who made these heroes into what they are today by bringing them in to fight me?!"

"You don't seem to get it. Though our writers have crafted our stories…"

"It doesn't mean our destinies are set in stone!"

"Yeah, stories are just one aspect of our lives. We are multifaced creations!"

"Don't you see? All of these heroes are their own people too. With hopes, dreams, fears, emotions, and every facet of the human condition to inspire us and help shape us out here in reality!"

"And now, we all are stopping this "Dimensional Merge" by stopping the mad creature that started it."

"For all of our homes, we will win!"

**Achievement Unlocked: We're In The Endgame Now!**

* * *

"Yeah…no. Conquest."

Conquest unleashes a catatonic blast on all the superheroes, while Chris Chan literally flings them back to their home dimensions.

"You didn't think it would be that easy, would you?"

"No…I suppose not. But I can still…"

Stella tries summoning a weapon, any weapon, to try and kill Chris Chan again, but nothing is coming up!

"Huh, why can't I summon weapons? Why can't I do anything?"

"_**Because you'll never be good enough."**_

"How dare you insult my friend like that!"

Chris Chan merely scoffs at the white-haired blasphemer's curse.

"That stuff I injected your friend with is my Anomalous Degradation Serum. It gets rid of anomalous abilities completely! See, I know about the Anomalous Bursts and that someone with anomalous powers may try and stop me, so I had my loyal followers specially design them for the purpose of stopping you anomalies cold!"

"A cure for anomalous powers?"

"And there are tens of thousands more where that came from."

The Louds all look at each other nervously.

"And now, your time is up. Conquest, dispose of them."

"Right away, mistress Christine."

Conquest sends out a battlefield as Leni and Sigurrós rush out to counter him.

"Don't worry, I have other plans for the rest of you." Chis Chan sneers

* * *

Conquest's battlefield…

Leni and Sigurrós arrive at a strange place, it seems to be a rural town quite literally in the middle of nowhere. This place…it doesn't feel right. Almost as if this was a bizarre version of a place in…Ohio? Both of them look at the ruggedly handsome devil in front of them. An immense wave of terror washes over them. A dark shadow casts over them as their delirium brings horrifying visages of eldritch Lovecraftian tentacles coming from the demon, who's staring at them with a melting, aqueous purple gaze, as if SCP-4205-EN was staring back at them. This place…it's Rod Serling's playground! Is it not?

**Welcome to the corn field, motherfucker! We're in the Twilight Zone!**

The monster of Peaksville, Anthony Fremont, has returned to terrorize the populace yet again! The two heroines try desperately to do something against this ultimate evil but Anthony has Deus Ex Machina powers, too! How can these three reality warpers settle this omnipotent melee a trois? Anthony easily counters whatever psychic energy the two throw at him and approaches them. His cognitohazard has become so strong that they are literally too afraid to fight back! The monster gets closer to Leni and it seems that she's going to be transfigured into some nightmarish abomination or just banished to the cornfield, like everyone in Peaksville. Anthony outstretches his hand in a "devil deal" style handshake and says…

"Come on, Audrey; It's time to go home."

Leni's voice is quavering from the immense fear that Anthony Fremont natural produces.

"I-I-I'm not Au-Au-Audrey. M-m-my n-name i-i-i-is Le-Le-Leni. Besides, I-I-I'm n-not dumb enough t-t-t-to fall f-for th-that trick. I-It wi-will shock me or c-c-cause me t-t-to die."

"Your name is Leni? But you have some of Audrey's biosignature. Must be a reincarnation. Well…let me restore your memories."

Anthony gives Leni her memories back. Although, they are not hers, rather, they are from her voice actress, Liliana Mumy! Every past life of Liliana's, Leni has knowledge of. And guess what Audrey Fremont is? One of Liliana's past lives/acting roles. Of course, having Anthony's daughter's memories would also reveal what Anthony's weakness is…not that it would be easy enough to exploit it.

"I know everything…"

"Excellent. Now let's explore the world, Audrey. I have a feeling that today is going to be a perfect day."

"I'm not Audrey…my name is…"

* * *

"Liliana!"

A massive psychokinetic burst separates Anthony and Leni. With Liliana Mumy's memories, Leni can exploit it and defeat the archon of Conquest!

"So, that's the way you want to play?"

Anthony changes his appearance to Bill Mumy.

Leni tries to trap Anthony in a Faraday cage to nullify his mind reading ability. It should block his brain waves from reaching them and allowing him to see what they're thinking!

"Pathetic! You are **my **daughter so you should listen to me and me alone!"

Anthony dodges the Faraday cage and counters by trying to transfigure her into an abomination, which Sigurrós interrupts.

"Annoying twerp! You won't steal her away from me!"

Leni and Anthony continue to duel with their Deus Ex Machina powers. Anthony conjures up an acoustic guitar and starts screaming the verses to Bill Mumy's song, Stubborn Girl.

_Stubborn girl  
Stubborn girl  
Any way  
Won't let go  
Stubborn girl_

_Stubborn girl  
Cryin' shame  
Dusty shelf  
Melted wax  
Stubborn girl_

_Stubborn girl  
Clinging on  
Common sense  
Watered down  
Stubborn girl_

_Stubborn girl  
Heart aflame  
Traumatized  
Time runs out  
Stubborn girl  
Lay it down  
Clean it up  
No regrets  
Stubborn girl_

"What can we do?"

"He can read our minds and has the same power as us, what can we do?!"

"We might need to call in some help."

Anthony summons three Cerberus gophers, grotesque freaks of nature with three heads and bloodstained faces.

"We might need a counter to this, Sigurrós, do you think we can summon an SCP helper without it killing us. Here's a compendium."

Leni gives her a book containing information on every SCP in existence, even ones in the international branches! It's just an English hardcopy of SCP-101-FR, but it's just as reliable. She flips to a certain page and summons something.

3 solid black creatures with similar appearance to SCP-939-EN appear and start brutalizing Anthony's Cerberus gophers.

"SCP-939-EN? But those kill anything in sight!"

"Not these ones, they're trained."

"How can you "train" a 939-EN instance?"

Sigurrós poof them away after they're done killing those gophers.

"Deus Ex Machina, remember?"

"Right. We need an expert in killing reality warpers."

"I know one, but he's going to try and kill me…"

"Can he access pocket dimensions?"

"I don't think so."

"Alright, then hide in one once he's here. He'll kill Anthony and then leave. Simple."

"Ok…I'll bring him in."

* * *

An interdimensional gateway drops off a strange man with a ukulele as Sigurrós retreats back into a pocket dimension.

"Huh? Where am I?"

"You're Doctor Alto Clef, right? The guy that kills all the reality benders?"

"Yes, why?"

"There's a reality bender that we're fighting and he can read our minds."

"A mind reading bixby…well, that complicates matters."

"I already tried using a Faraday cage to block his mind reading abilities."

"Good start, but we need to be unpredictable if we're going to kill a mind reader."

Both of them do just that, doing random unpredictable stuff that Anthony can't mind read. Since there's no logical path for him to exploit and counter, his mind reading is next to useless. Leni provides covering fire for Agent Ukulele to get the kill by stabbing Anthony with a sword that he happened to have on hand.

"Thanks."

"Well, I should send you back before your dimension notices you're gone."

Leni tries to send Doctor Clef back to SCP-PRM-001, but his reality stabilizer ability is kind of interfering a bit.

"This is weird, you should be back to your own dimension…maybe creating a gateway to that dimension would work?"

Leni tries summoning a gateway…Doctor Clef tries to walk through the portal…but it spits him back out!

"Wow, not even your own dimension wants you back, huh?"

"Maybe, we need more Deus Ex Machinae users?"

Sigurrós is getting kind of impatient. Surely, he killed Anthony already? He's super-efficient at killing Type Greens! Leni has to have sent him back to the prime canon dimension. She decides to peek and see if he's still out there.

"Leni, are you done yet? It shouldn't have taken more than a few…"

The two of them stare into each other's eyes.

"Seconds."

* * *

Meanwhile, at ECM-000's metanarrative monitoring station, a light turns on and off intermittently, much like those alarm spinning lights, complete with an air raid siren! It says that this is a code Alto Voce.

"Aw shit, here we go again."

ECM-001 heads off to TLH-SCP-PTB-1415 to stop this metanarrative from degrading due to Doctor Clef's interference.

"**YOU!"**

Leni can sense this is going to end very badly…Sigurrós was startled enough to transport the three of them into a new arena. At least they're out of the Twilight Zone.

"I don't know how you broke out of a Foundation Class E-COMATOSE shot, but you're coming with me in a body bag whether you like it or not!"

* * *

His appearance shifts into a spooky scary skeleton.

…

Leni just…knocks it over. It wasn't even a living skeleton or the Grim Reaper or anything. Just a normal inert skeleton. The being formerly known as Doctor Clef shifts into an African looking man that looks to be in about his 40s, he wears a fancy suit and has shades darker than his skin color with an ivory frame surrounding them. He may be a pimp…or from Wakanda…or both.

He says something in clicking, then pulls out the gaudiest looking pimp magnum that ever existed and points it at Sigurrós. He fires, but she flash steps out of the way.

Leni counters by summoning an assault rifle and burst spraying him. But this nigger is like fucking Neo from the Matrix and he dodges all of the bullets in real time!

"Ah, I think I've heard about this guy before. This is Omar Yilau, or O5-12, the accountant."

"So, he's a hitman?"

"No, he's literally the Foundation's accountant. He was born in a small village in Uganda…"

"Ah, so he does know the way."

Omar-Clef fires his magnum in the air, as if to kill the cosmic entity who said that dead meme.

"Anyways, his anomaly is to predict everything before it even happens!"

"So, he has perfect evasion and Spidey Senses?! How the hell are we going to hit him?!"

"How about this?"

Leni tries another burst fire, but this time, after Omar-Clef Matrix dodges this burst, the bullets home into him and actually deal damage! Knocking Doctor Clef into his next form! The arena darkens and promptly lights up, showing 100 Sigurróses! Which one could the real one be?

"Seriously? A puzzle? You know, my sister put a tracker on the real one in case she got lost."

Leni uses her powers to launch a power psychokinetic wave to get rid of all the clones, as well as damaging the liar. O5-11, the liar, formerly known as Sam Beale has just been exposed! Seeing that the ruse is up, Doctor Clef transforms into his next form.

This next form actually kind of looks like one of those "Karens" that people on Reddit complain about. But there's no time to get the manager, since this form begins chanting some arcane spell from beyond the time of good and evil and transforms into a massive creature, instead of a snake, it decides to go with an unconventional appearance.

"Huh? A sandworm?"

"That's not just a sandworm…"

"Well, we know how to kill it. But we might lose an arm doing it."

"Not anymore."

Leni swaps her assault rifle for a hookshot and sword! When the beast formerly known as Diane Walters charges at her, Leni just hookshots the sandworm creature's tongue and slashes it until Diane-Clef changes into his next form.

O5-9 is a complete joke of a character. How she actually managed to get into the O5 Council is a mystery (apparently O5-7 let her in to destabilize the council…what a surprise…). She doesn't even have an anomaly. In fact, she kills herself for them! What a complete waste of a form! So completely unremarkable that no one even bothered to remember her name!

O5-8 isn't that much better, but at least he gets to play with some cool augmentations. Known as Baron Leeman Hodley, he also doesn't really have an anomaly, unless you count having paranoid schizophrenia as one (which we don't). Leeman-Clef begins tinkering around with a whole bunch of stuff to kill the two with.

"Should we do something?"

"Nah, I know how this ends."

Leni casts an invincibility spell on herself and waits for Leeman-Clef's body to reject the augmentations. He blows up, and immediately changes into his O5-7 form.

"Finally, now you'll get a real challenge!"

O5-7, green. This fearsome Asian lady is the bane of everyone, even the Foundation itself. Doctor Clef himself is also afraid of green, everyone is. Even in the greatest tale never told, the woman is harder to kill than a god damn T-1000! How could anyone, let alone these two, hope to end the tyranny of both green and her lackey here?!

"Oh, and about those cheats you have…"

Green-Clef casts a weaken spell using the Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi, destroying all enhancements!

"What's this? I feel like I can't do anything?!"

"No one can, once O5-7 appears! Fear her mere presence. Since my lackey can't terminate you, I guess I'll have to do it myself!"

Green-Clef charges at Sigurrós with the famed Japanese sword of legend and tries to slash at her, but she responds by summoning a sword to parry his. The two continue their duel, with each strike being parried and countered, blow for blow, it looks like it's a stalemate, until Leni breaks the tie by stabbing Green-Clef with a wakizashi. Seizing the opportunity, Sigurrós quickly decapitates Green-Clef with a swift cut to the neck! Leni then takes out an RPG and blows up the body.

"Had to make sure she's 100% dead this time. It's ridiculous how much damage she can take!"

Of course, that's only half of the O5 Council. Also, Doctor Clef can't die, so he's most definitely an SCP. Doctor Clef comes back from the dead and changes his appearance to O5-6s. O5-6, known as the American, appears to be a Civil War general named Rufus King, as if he couldn't be any more badass. Rufus-Clef wields a whip, which he attacks with. For this one, Sigurrós grabs the whip, yanks him forward, and onto the conveniently placed bowie knife that Leni generated.

O5-5, blackbird. Ordinarily, blackbird would run away, and they'd have to use an interdimensional fishing rod and a specialized beating stick to hurt him. Or they'd have to go on an interdimensional escapade to find him. But they decide to cut out the middleman and just erase blackbird out of existence with a special weapon.

Sigurrós generates an antimatter cannon. One hit from this baby and blackbird will be no more. She fires and hits the beast. He fades from existence…

Only for O5-4 to replace him. O5-4 is kind of pathetic…even a dope slap would be enough to move on to the next phase. All he does is just grovel. Yeah, Sigurrós just slaps him and suddenly, a massive machine rises from the ground, several mounted guns on rails whiz past them as a central core is spotted in the center of the arena.

Sigurrós immediately goes to the machinery and transmutes herself into water, shorting out the system. With the oversized pellet guns disabled, Leni takes the RPG and fires several grenades at the core, killing the true form of O5-3 inside.

Doctor Clef changes appearance to match O5-2s. Blood begins pouring out of his hands as Sophia-Clef dances around the arena like a complete idiot, spilling blood everywhere. Attacking Sophia-Clef seems to do absolutely nothing. Guess they're just going to have to wait this out. Of course, the blood is super acidic and has eaten away at the arena, but eventually, Sophia-Clef runs out of blood and resurrects as Aaron-Clef. O5-1, the administrator, AKA Aaron Siegel. Aaron-Clef draws out a golden blade bathed in a luminous radiance! On the blade is the cuniform for the word "illuminate" on it. The two duel as fitting music plays…It all comes down to this!

"It's over SCP-239-EN, I have Satan's sword! This godly item has slain even seraphim. To it, you are nothing but a mere annoyance! Say goodbye, scum of the Earth!"

Just when it looks like Doctor Clef will finally succeed in his mission to finally terminate Sigurrós, another Deus Ex Machina stops him…this time quite literally.

"What do you think you're doing?! She's essential to the metanarrative!"

"Hello djkaktus. Come to interfere again?"

"I can't have you destroy another dimension just to succeed in 1/36th of your goal of killing all Sigurróses in every SCP canon."

"Who cares if this dimension dies if it means saving our own?"

"Kids, you might want to get out of here…"

Leni and Sigurrós escape as two monumental icons in the SCP-verse duke it out. Leni removes Liliana's memories and the two of them remove any Deus Ex Machina abilities they used during the battle as the head back to CWCville.

* * *

**Author's Note: Yes, that means the O5 Council in the prime canon is the "Kaktus Crew", the very same O5s that he used during KAKTUS-001-04.**


	39. Sevenfold

**Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make people kill each other. To him was given a large sword. -Revelation 6:4**

**Track Featured: Reach For the Stars by** **Jean Paul Makhlouf**

The two reality warpers arrive back in CWCville after dealing with both the archon of Conquest and Doctor Clef.

"Leni, you're back?"

"Yes, but we're not done yet!"

Leni and Sigurrós immediately summon the only creatures that can deal with Chris Chan's top enforcers. The blue blur and pink powerhouse shoot out of the portals. Time to stop this madness!

"Did you miss me?"

"**Sonic?!"** everyone shouts out

Chris Chan is barely holding in ze's excitement! Ze finally met his hero!

Sonic looks at Sonichu…

"What's up with this poser? Think you can imitate me?"

"This is an even more perfect version of you, Sonic!"

"Doubt it, you can't improve perfection."

"It was created when you fought against Chaos 7. The polymorphic aqueous beast knocked you into a Pikachu, giving it residual chaos energy from the emeralds. Resulting in the version of you that you see today."

"No way, that can't be me. **I **am me!"

"What about the other one?"

"Rosechu was originally a Raichu, but the Perfect Chaos battle released chaos emerald energy all around the surrounding area. You can guess what happened next."

Sonic has dealt with a lot of crazy shit in his video game career, but this breaks his willing suspension of disbelief.

"Do you think I'd be dumb enough to believe that? No, you're working with Doctor Eggman! The doctor must have managed to get some of my DNA during our many, many battles. You obviously helped Eggman by gene splicing some Pokémon DNA with the clone he made from my DNA. He also did the same with Amy, too."

Sonic may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but that explanation still makes more sense than what Chris Chan claims what happened.

"You know, I've actually gotten quite used to the Poké-verse. Pikachu and I are friends in the Smash Bros. universe. I even tried to save him when that white cored angel invaded the World of Light. So, for you to create this genetic abomination of me is quite insulting!"

"Wait, you managed to get into Smash?!" Chris Chan exclaims

Everyone facepalms.

"Yeah, he's been in Smash since 2008."

What reality has Chris Chan been living in if xe didn't even know Sonic made it into Smash close to 12 years ago?!

"There's only one way this ends. I'm going to save this world by mercy killing these abominations. Amy, are you with me?"

"Of course, Sonic!"

The Sonic duo begins fighting the Sonichu duo. Even without the Chaos Emeralds, Sonic is confident that they can win! Before they start, Sonic scarfs down one of his signature chili dogs. He notices Sonichu has an aversion to the chili dog.

"Scared of a chili dog? There's no way you can be me!"

Sonic doesn't know nor takes advantage of it but the duo has crippling phallophobia. In fact, pickles are Sonichu's one weakness! This is one drawback to being a character made by a severely delusional lesbian transwoman who doesn't know what reality is.

The Sonichu duo tries utilizing their electric attacks from their past lives as electric mouse Pokémon, but the blue blur responds with his signature homing attack, while Amy tries bashing her clone with a piko piko hammer, all while the song "Reach for the Stars" by Cash Cash begins playing. Chris Chan wants to help his creations, but this is a Segata Sanshiro vs Archie Sonic situation! He can't bring himself to kill his hero, even when said hero considers his tributes to him abominations! All he can do is sit back and watch.

_Take off, at the speed of sound  
Bright lights, colors all around  
I'm running wild, living fast, and free  
Got no regrets inside of me_

_Not looking back  
Not giving up  
Not letting go  
I'll keep on running_

_I'm gonna reach for the stars  
Although they look pretty far  
I'm gonna find my own way  
And take a chance on today_

_The sky with stars so bright  
The colors feel so right  
I've never felt like this  
I'll keep on running_

_The sky with stars so bright  
The colors feel so right  
Just take my hand  
We're gonna reach for the stars_

_Tonight_

_Tonight..._

_Wake up, living day by day.  
Do what I want, and I'll do it my way  
The world is flying right below my feet  
Got no regrets inside of me._

_Not looking back (Not looking back)  
Not giving up (Not giving up)  
Not letting go  
I'll keep on running!_

_I'm gonna reach for the stars  
Although they look pretty far  
I'm gonna find my own way  
And take a chance on today_

_The sky with stars so bright  
The colors feel so right  
I've never felt like this  
I'll keep on running_

_The sky with stars so bright  
The colors feel so right  
Just take my hand  
We're gonna reach for the stars_

_Tonight_

_Tonight..._

_(Instrumental)_

_I've got it in my sight.  
The colors feel so right.  
Got my feet off the ground  
I'll keep on running!_

_Oh, I can feel it now.  
The colors all around  
Just take my hand  
We're gonna reach for the stars..._

_Just take a chance (Just take a chance)  
We'll do it right, again!  
(We're gonna reach for the stars)_

_Just take my hand (Just take my hand)  
We'll take a chance, tonight!  
Reach for the stars!_

_Tonight!_

_Tonight..._

With one last desperation attack, the four of them run directly into each other, causing them to mash into an organic slurry! Being hit by a Mach 3.8 speeding bullet should immediately turn them into a pile of guts from the stopping force alone! We will never forget your sacrifice, Sonic!

* * *

"No, my son! You'll pay for that, you warmongers!" Chris Chan bellows

"Leave them to me, mistress Christine."

The archon of War shapeshifts into what appears to be Lynn Jr, with a wispy ghost like entity following her. There is a red symbol on her forehead, consisting of seven acute angles with six plungers sticking out of it.

"So, do you think your bloodlust can overcome mine?!"

Lynn and War charge at each other, both of them landing a solid blow. However, it seems War's blow did way more damage, even from someone befitting of the horseman's title!

"Why was that blow so powerful?!"

"Cause I'm the master of War, duh! But also, you need to go back to Bible school! Everyone knows that the mark of Cain reflects attacks back sevenfold! It's the ultimate counterattack!"

"But the mark of Cain looks like a cane with two fanglike marks next to it." Lucy comments

"That's only in Supernatural."

War gears up for another attack, which Lynn dodges.

"No matter, there are 10,000 more attacks where that came from!"

"_I can't attack her without getting hit for seven times the damage thanks to that curse! If this is War, then maybe the way to win is to not even play the game. War should get stronger with every rage induced attack, so depriving her of this might weaken her! Outwit, outplay, outlast."_

Lynn decides to put her plan into action by deftly dodging all of War's attacks without throwing a single counterpunch!

"Why aren't you attacking? Something's trying to kill you!"

"_She's just trying to goad you into attacking and giving her a power boost, just focus on evading all of her attacks!"_

More dodging, which results in War getting angrier, which you would think would power her up, but War can't feed off its own hatred. It thrives off the hatred of others.

"Why won't you fight back?! Fight me, you coward!"

Lynn keeps up her "offensive". War is about to rage quit this battle…

"You know what, screw this! This battle isn't worth my time!"

War teleports away to find a real challenge. That battle was kind of anticlimactic, but since they can't even attack her, what else could the others have done?

"I'm kind of disappointed in that battle."

So are we all, Chris Chan.

"Not to worry, I have something that will terrify you! Arise, Eye of Death!"

Chris Chan creates a vaguely eye shaped creature that stares at the group with a mystifying, paralyzing gaze! The being has what can loosely be described as a purple iris and getting stared by it cause an immense fear like cognitohazard.

"Meet the actuary, Libitina! She just kinds of stares at you and creeps you out. She can't really be destroyed either. She acts as a death clock for you, but I can accelerate the time displayed on her."

A heavy metal remix of "Your Reality" (not unlike the one made by FamilyJules) begins heralding the eye's arrival.

"Buckle up, kids! It's going to be a bumpy fright!"

Chris Chan emits a toxic green blast that affects our main group and sends them off into a strange place…can they escape? Find out next chapter…


	40. Fear Itself

In this strange place, Lisa appears to be in a laboratory of some sort. She doesn't know what she's doing there but…it seems familiar, despite her never seeing this place before. She reads a sticky note left behind on a cubicle wall.

Congrats on the promotion. Do well, or you'll be demoted to D-Class -Hate, O5-7

"Site Director Loud, can you update these files on the computer for us?"

Lisa attempts to do this, but gets interrupted.

"Site Director Loud, SCP-131-EN bonded to me, can you make it go away?"

Suddenly a barrage of complaints come rushing in, just like those butterflies in "Mindful Education."

"Can you send someone down to fix the coffee machine in the office break room?"

"It's time for SCP-173-EN's biweekly cleaning procedure, send some poor schmucks to clean up that…whatever 173-EN excretes."

"Some idiot put "antimatter" as a drink request for 294-EN and now there's a giant hole in the wall, get someone to patch it up."

"John Cena is still missing, no one can see him!"

"SCP-106-EN has breached containment again."

"SCP-682-EN has breached containment."

"SCP-2317-EN has…"

You get the point, it's become like the chocolate conveyor belt in "I Love Lucy" all over again. Lisa begins to breakdown from the rush of complaints.

"Site Director Loud, stop doing your best SCP-2599-EN impression and finish these orders!"

The conversations begin merging into each other as the scene transitions to the next person.

* * *

Lola is in the middle of a river cutting through a dense forest. She looks in front of her and sees what appears to be Chris Chan wearing a pair of black shades. The shades crack as xe retreats.

"Hey, get back here!"

Lola chases this phantom as it shoots out mysterious blue ethereal orbs at her. Touching one of them makes her sanity go down a little. Upon wading through the river for a while, she sees another ghost, this one looking like a 6-year-old girl approaches her. It appears to be coughing heavily, before emitting a dying scream.

A little bit further and the same thing happens, only this time, it happens to a spirit of a man who looks to be in his 40s. He is also heavily coughing, before being seen dying just as the other victim before him.

Next, several red phantasms try to attack Lola, but to no avail (they are ghosts, after all). Soon, they "die" from the mysterious choking hazard. But even though the ghosts can't kill Lola, she can feel the pain from their attacks. She continues her endless walk, being pelted by all sorts of murderous entities as the scene shifts to the next person.

* * *

Lana awakes in a ruined place. Windows shattered, cars in disrepair, buildings collapsed, subways derailed and the most important thing of all…there's no people anywhere. She tries desperately to find someone, anyone.

"Hello, is anyone here?!"

"Someone, anyone?!"

But there's no one left…all that's left is her. This must be a dead dimension, like all of Omega's -X dimensions…or maybe SCP-2935-EN, O, Death…actually, its closer to 2935-EN since nothing alive is here anymore, not even artificial constructs…Lana falls to her knees in despair (but somehow doesn't turn into a Danganronpa character, lucky!) as the scene changes again…next character!

* * *

Lucy is placed at the end of a gauntlet of things that would most definitely kill a normal human, with Lincoln at the end of it. Lucy tries to run toward it, but aside from the fact that she'd probably get killed by the first gauntlet trap (a barrage of spike balls, in case you were wondering) she also has to do it within a set, but hidden time.

But try as Lucy might, no matter what she does, there is no possible way for her to get to her brother in the time allotted, and since trying to walk around the course is cheating, and will reset her position back to start. It is quite hopeless for her to continue. Even if she learns where all the traps are and she spedran the course, she'd always fall one second behind. On to the next one…

* * *

Ah, Lincoln. His was the hardest to come up with, but it seems being startled is what he's afraid of. But if he knows something's coming, he won't be startled…let's begin the nightmare!

Lincoln is in a dark void with nothing but the sound of one of those creepy jack in the boxes playing "Pop Goes the Weasel". He walks toward the void until he sees a door. Lincoln slowly opens the door and…

"**AAAAHHHHHH!"**

He slams the door shut.

"Really?! I can't believe they'd use FNAF!"

He moves on to the second one. He opens the door and…

He sees two thugs dismembering a body with a goddamn chainsaw. Blood everywhere. They don't seem to notice Lincoln and he closes the door and makes sure it stays that way.

The third door. Lincoln opens it and sees…a deranged lunatic, possibly high, drunk or both trying to castrate xirself by giving zirself both an orchiectomy and a phallectomy using a knife (that wasn't even sterilized). Ze also tried to make a gash in zir perineum to make xirself a pseudo-vagina. Wait, isn't this just a part of Chris Chan's life? And you're telling xe he didn't die from sepsis afterwards?

Lincoln closes the door after being traumatized for life. He moves onto the fourth door and sees…

"You're not perfect."

Nope! Slam the door! Lincoln immediately moves on to the fifth door and slowly opens the door, fearing what horror could be inside.

He just sees an anime character that hung herself. Sure, it's a bit unnerving, but he doesn't feel particularly attached to them or anything.

"Wonder why that was included. I can at least understand the blue trumpet thing from the previous door."

Lincoln seems to be getting privy to this, so he doesn't open anymore doors. He walks further and…

Pop goes the weasel!

He runs into the jack in the box, which has the puppet replaced with Luan, which pies him in the face before retreating. I think we've seen enough. Next!

* * *

Lynn appears to be in a classroom with an Asian lady. I can already see where this is going…

"Hmm, you are stupid. You got an 80 percent out of 100. That means you get B, B for 100 batterings from my beating stick! I am A-sian not B-sian! I won't tolerate anything less than perfection!"

The Asian gets out a beating stick and begins beating Lynn mercilessly with it. After the 100th hit, the Asian responds.

"You are failure. Get out and never return. Commit seppuku. You are insult to family's intelligence."

The setting switches to school, middle school, specifically, where Lynn is lost in the bowels of this strange place which seems to act like the infinite IKEA to her. She asks an upperclassman for directions.

"Hey, do you know where bio is?"

The upperclassman turns and reveals itself to be Hank, that thug from Hazeltucky's football team!

"Oh sure, it's down the hall. I'll lead you there."

Hank leads her down and stops at a red door.

"It's through here. Here, let me help you!"

Hank shoves her into the room, which is nothing more than an oversized locker. He then pushes some old, but still heavy sporting equipment to block the locker, trapping her in there. The scene shifts once again, Lynn arrives at the Loud House and is being glowered at by the rest of her family, sans Lincoln.

"Lynn Jr."

"Your father and I have been talking about your punishment during the bad luck incident."

"We've decided to hold a vote on your punishment."

"And, in a 9-4 vote."

"We decided that since this is the most egregious case of sibling abandonment for the dumbest of reasons, and the fact that you've done this superstition thing multiple times to the detriment of others in your family, we've decided to disown you."

"What?! What about Lincoln! He spread the lie around to get some free time!"

"He's been punished. Mom and dad took away his comics and video games for 2 weeks."

"Then why aren't you giving me a punishment like his?"

"Because you've done this sort of thing multiple times on impulse with no regard for the aftermath."

"When will you learn that your actions have consequences! Sorry, I always wanted to say that."

"Yeah, you've been a meanie to Linky. So was I, but did you apologize? Because I did."

"I can't believe any of you fell for this chicanery. It seems I'm the only one smart enough to see and avoid this situation entirely."

"Alright, pack up and leave. You're not welcome anymore."

"Don't worry, Lynn, I still believe in you. I was one of the four that wanted you to stay."

Somehow, that hurts even more than him disowning her. Moving on…

* * *

Luan appears to be in a desert wasteland akin to Fallout or Mad Max, walking down the desolate cracked highway, she sees a leathered-up biker dude with a sick motorcycle barreling down the highway, with a chain in hand, he rides toward Luan and…

Misses the chain grab. He dismounts his metal steed and walks toward her. Luan notices that his head is on fire. She also notices that this unholy demon also has the face of notorious serial killer John Wayne Gacy! This Ghost Rider/Gacy hybrid's chain morphs into one of those endless rope things that magicians use.

"Hey kid, I heard you like magic."

The rope rushes at Luan and forces itself down her throat! Desperate gasps of air are heard as she struggles to breathe!

"Now watch as all of your oxygen disappears before your very eyes!"

She blacks out.

"You can't escape my punishment, not even through death! Because unlike my 33 other attempts, you can't die in this strange place. You have a front row seat to see me strangle you over and over until the end of time!"

Yikes, next scene please?

* * *

Luna appears on a concert stage, where it appears another alternate copy of her has taken the spotlight!

"Who are you?"

"Why, I'm you but electronic."

The electro Luna gestures Luna to come onstage, she does so.

"So, you think that rock is the best genre, huh? Well, let's see if your voice can be heard."

"Is that a challenge? You're on, brah!"

Luna starts belting out a rock tune, only to get interrupted by another song playing over hers.

"Huh, what's going on?"

"There are several hundred thousand songs out there, Luna. What makes yours stand out?"

She continues to play again. A song tries to interrupt her, but she continues playing on. After a while, a second song plays. The longer Luna continues playing, the more songs are added, as well as adding shifts in frequency, pitch and tone. It looks like Luna is going to be here a while. Let's see the next one.

* * *

Leni is surrounded by the rest of the group. Everything seems to be going well…

"Wings of dusk, arise!"

Purple and black butterflies appear and seem to possess the entire group, sans Leni. They all turned into costumed beings with superpowers. It really doesn't matter what their costumes look like, only that if anything is important to their power, then the costume will highlight it.

But wait, there's more. A strange humanoid entity with an incomprehensible appearance arrives.

"Hello, fashion star! I assume you recognized these designs?"

"No, I don't."

"Seriously?! What a disappointment, these styles are all the rage in Paris."

"So, who are you?"

"I am the master of ceremonies to this little torment here. I am Exotos135!"

"What kind of name is that?"

"As if I'd give my name to a know nothing like you! Even my close friend Omega doesn't know my real name!"

He composes himself.

"Oh, not only to you have to deal with 11 super powerful villains, I aim to make it all the more impossible for you to win!"

He generates two purplish black cubes.

"Hey, you filthy weeaboo, take this!"

He throws it at Lori. The core transforms into a black canid phantom with evil red eyes!

"Was that…?"

"Yes, it's one of my many tools. That is an Umbra Core! And now, for your next trial…"

Exotos135 crushes the second Umbra Core in his hands, letting the inky blackness of night encompass them. He begins punching at the background until some of the wall falls away, revealing a strange, greenish colored dimension.

Strange beasts with green markings and stone shields for heads emerge from the portal. As well as a Zant like figure with what appears to be a fully formed Fused Shadow like headpiece resting where its head should be. Its eye is a pale lilac with yellow magatama swirls inside it.

"Welcome to the Twilight Realm, Leni. With these feral beasts and no friends, as well as a complete seal on your Deus Ex Machina abilities, it should be nigh impossible for you to complete! Fufufu, see you later!"

With that, Exotos135 leaves. Leaving Leni to deal with one big mess. Let's see what Lori's up to.

* * *

Lori has an unnerving feeling of being watched everywhere she goes and being stared at for everything she does. It doesn't matter what it is, there's just a feeling of being watched with nobody being there. Its like that stalker song by The Police.

Next up is SCP-239-EN. Her situation is quite simple, actually. Everyone is dead. And even though she has Deus Ex Machina powers, she can't revive them. Not much to show or say here, so let's move onto the last character.

SCP-706-EN is looking around this strange dimension and sees a whole bunch of erratic cars swerving around and just indescribable things that a normal being can't comprehend. The air smells like booze which must mean they're drunk and doing stupid drunk things. Which must mean another thing; She somehow is in Florida. A whole bunch of stupid drunk people get on the news there.

She carefully navigates the sea of stupid before entering a house. Wait…doesn't this house feel…familiar somehow? She can hear two people arguing.

"Okay, sweetie, one more time, okay?"

Suddenly, a drunk man bursts into the front door of this residence. The fact that he wasn't shot on sight must mean that these people know him.

"I have had enough of your goddamn caterwauling! Will you two just shut the fuck up?!"

"Daddy?"

Huh, I guess that answers that…wait a minute. 706-EN knows how this will play out! Can she change what happens this time? Can the inevitable even be changed?

"You and your fucking princess shit and your fucking awful music…"

"Honey, you're drunk…"

"Daddy, please, stop!"

"and all your goddamn girly bullshit can go to fucking hell!"

"Honey, please…"

Huh, are you sure we're still talking about SCP-706-EN? Because, the only "princess" archetype in this story is Lola. I wonder if 706-EN would be like Lola had her ability not manifested. Just a thought. Anyway…

This is the point where her parents start fighting. Maybe if she can somehow interrupt it…

"Daddy, stop!"

SCP-706-EN tries to stop the fight before her parents get to their "domestic dispute" phase. She tries to stop her father's arm, but he's obviously way stronger than her and has all of his fucks taken away from the alcohol he drank at the bar earlier. The dad easily backhands her away, leaving a large sore mark.

"What did you say to me, you prissy bitch?!"

He walks over, picks his daughter up and cocks his right hand backward.

"This'll teach you to disobey me!"

He puts his full force into punching her into oblivion. The next thing anyone knows, two gunshots were heard and SCP-706-EN was knocked away near her mother.

She hears the hammer click…

She remembers how this ended. It ended in a murder-suicide.

Thinking quickly, she tackles her mom, which forces her to drop the gun. SCP-706-EN is quicker and swipes the gun away from her.

"Sweetie, give me the gun."

"Why? So you can leave me, too?"

It seems this standoff between SCP-706-EN and her parents won't ever change, after all, it already happened.

* * *

With all 12 members of their group fighting all of these fears, all seems lost. But if Tristam has taught us anything its that it's not over…

Till

It's

Over!

"Of course, there's only one way out. Acceptance."

Slowly, each member of the group accepts their fears and faults and gets a power boost from it, as cliché as that sounds. In order, it was Lisa, Lincoln, Lucy, Lana, Luna, Lori, Luan, SCP-239-EN, Lynn, Lola, Leni and SCP-706-EN. As they wake up from the nightmare, they remember they're still in CWCville.

Libitina has been gazing at Chad and Ethan the whole time, so they can't help (not that they could have, anyway). Upon waking up, the eye backs off and flies back toward Chris Chan.

This is it, the final battle! Let's end this!


	41. The Way It Ends

**I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the Earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the Earth. -Revelation 6:8**

**Track Featured: City Escape by Crush40**

"What? Impossible! You all should have fallen to Pestilence! After all, humanity is the true villain and the greatest threat against itself!"

"It's over, Chris Chan! Your tyranny and the Dimensional Merge will end here and now."

Chris Chan merely scoffs at Leni's declaration.

"You could not live with your own failure. Where did that bring you? Back to me. You know that destroying me won't change anything. The merging of C-197 and E-1218 is inevitable."

Chris Chan manically laughs as he assumes xir rightful role as the Tyrant Goddess and the archon of Death! An ominous vortex of celestial origin heralds the destruction of their universe and the rebirth through Singularity. Chris Chan mocks this rebel group by splitting zeself into seven copies.

* * *

Behind a building, a true hero of the people comes out of his hiding place to document the end times. This man is a true journalist, risking life, limb and being raped to death by Chris Chan's legion of furries to denounce Chris Chan's despotic rule over CWCville. Chris Chan invited him in so that he can document xe's greatness for the world to see, but he has another plan in mind. Since the universe will be destroyed and since he is a vocal critic of Chris Chan (though who isn't at this point) he's going to die anyway once the Dimensional Merge completes, so fuck it! He's going to document the end of days so that if our heroines (and guest party members) fail, someone may rise up against xe.

He gets out of his hiding place and begins recording.

"Where did it all go wrong? I'm here at Ruckersville, Virginia and it appears we are finally here. We never believed the madman, but he was right. The dimensions of C-197 and E-1218 as well as all others are beginning the process of Singularity, where all dimensions will become one. As you can see, several brave heroes from across all dimensions are standing up to the Tyrant Goddess and her Archons of Destruction. This isn't about just the destruction of Ruckersville, Virginia, The US, or even the Earth itself. All will cease to exist if she succeeds! Go now, heroes! Save all of our dimensions! If they fail, it has been an honor following these sagas. Last Terminal Network, from the last terminal, signing out for the last time. Goodbye."

He records the battle that's about to ensue.

* * *

Back at ground zero, Chris Chan remerges his duplicates into one singular being and continues to point out how screwed they are.

"Not only do you have to deal with a literal god, I also have the death clock to nullify some of your attacks! And my ZC-2599 vaccines will depower you to the point even a single well-placed bullet to the head will be enough to end you so called heroes! So, go ahead! Save this corrupted dimension if you can!"

"I am become terrible time, the destroyer of all existence. All will fall to me eventually; Even you!"

And with that, the final battle against archon of Death, Chris Chan, has finally begun! Starting off, a symbol of a castle, broken off into several pieces, is seen in front of Chris Chan.

"Now degrade!"

Chris Chan begins throwing around vaccine missiles to get an even greater advantage!

"Dodge those vaccines!"

The group scatters and evades the attack! Their counteroffensive mounts as Chad tries to hack off one of xe's limbs with his diamond sword! It was a success, cleaving ze's right arm right off xir's body, but, like SpongeBob, ze just regenerates another arm. It sure is damn annoying fighting someone with Deus Ex Machina powers!

"Dang I thought he was disarmed!"

"Nice one, Chadtronic!"

"Annoying gnats, die!"

Chris Chan summons a whole bunch of Cat o' 9 Tails to whip these revolters into submission!

The group tries to dodge, but there are so many whips to dodge! Lincoln claimed that Chris Chan summoned about 15 CONTs and he thought there were around 80 whips coming at the group at a time. Some of the group got whipped!

"Let's see if you can handle these!"

Chris Chan summons what appear to be male prostitutes wearing gimp masks. They are even more buff than a Jojo character and their penises are as powerful as cannons! They don't have weapons, so its assumed that they'd just beat them up with their bare hands or by chocking them/ablating their trachea by shoving their cannon cocks down their throat (adding insult to injury is if they blow a load in their enemies' throat, their ejaculate is toxic)!

"Wow, I didn't know that when Chris Chan turned into a lesbian transwoman he degenerated even further and became interested in BDSM." Last Terminal Network comments

"I might need to bleach my eyes and brain after this battle."

"Agreed."

* * *

Sigurrós seems to notice the seal surrounding him, as well as the lustful degeneracy that ze's attacking them with. Lucy seems to figure it out, too.

"Don't you guys recognize the symbol surrounding him?"

"Not really?"

"A symbol of a castle, broken apart? I think this might be the symbol, _vaduk_."

"Vaduk? What the fuck is that?"

"It's an ancient language, the word _vaduk _means "dominion" in this language."

"There was an ancient tablet discovered in modern day Sumeria, it foretold the destruction of everything by the hands of the Scarlet King, Khahrahk. In his journey of multiversal conquest to destroy the Tree of Knowledge, he sired seven children, seven brides with which their children become soldiers in his army. The ancient language is the most similar to Akkadian, and I do not know how to speak it, but it was written like this on the tablet.

_Aššina maḫrû kallūtu ewû A'tivik. Kalūmatu ewû namaddu adi anniumma ašarēdu, ezib iššû ṣeḫḫeru ula ēṣu. Akki kīnūtu, iššû ṣeḫḫeru elaman šūpû atra ḫasīsi elāniš aḫîš, annanna edû abutu adi dapānu. Aḫê aššunu aḫu ummudu, aššanu kaṣādum adi ammar ša ḫaṭû, dāt abāku akka irnittu. Iššû kanāku ewû "vaduk", bēlūtu epēšu, akki bu ' ' û bēlūtu epēšu, alittu akki ewû šaʾāru._

"So, you're saying that Chris Chan is working with Khahrahk?!"

"No, but ze is using the Seven Brides' Seals to empower himself. That's why he's attacking us with degeneracy! For the dominion seal, it's fuck or be fucked!"

"So how do we counter it?!"

"It's fuck or be fucked, don't you get it? We need to attack xir with an equal amount of degeneracy!"

"Ok, so we'll need someone to wear a Sonic the Hedgehog fursuit and beat the tar out of him. I nominate Lola because she's the most vicious of us and, now that I think about it, I think she'd be the closest, personality wise, to A'tivik."

"Are you kidding me?! Lori should it! She probably gave Bobby hyper gonorrhea during one of their many dates!"

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't destroy you right now, Lola!"

"Because I saw the data. Lisa tested you during her biweekly health checkups."

"I regret nothing. You really should fix that, eldest sister."

"I'll destroy you for invading my personal space later, so what to I have to do?"

Leni conjures up a Sonic fursuit.

"Beat up Chris Chan while wearing this suit. We'll cover you by holding back the Jojo Chippendales and his other BDSM attacks!" Leni states

"And we'll shoot down the vaccines heading toward you!" Ethan volunteers

"Not that you need it, you have future vision!" Lincoln encourages

With their plan formulated, Lori dons the fursuit, loses some of her dignity and rushes toward the false god. The male strippers try to attack her but Leni and Lola hold them back! Leni creates some assorted weapons so the others can fight the Jojo posers!

"Oh no you don't! Take your STD vaccine and like it!"

Chris Chan sends a flurry of ACSs down at the party. Leni finishes killing off a male prostitute by way of decapitation just in time to unleash a psychokinetic blast to destroy them before they inject their payloads into them. I suppose they are like nukes in that sense, in that they have to deliver their payload to be a threat.

Lori gets to Chris Chan, tackles xir and begins whaling on ze!

"Look, the seal is weakening!"

The group looks at the seal, which has cracks forming on it.

"Oh, Sonic! Penetrate me with your quills, my hero!"

And now that we're all traumatized, the dominion seal breaks! All of the BDSM stuff vanishes as Chris Chan generates another seal as xe enters his second phase! This seal depicts a suit of armor with one of those FMA philosophers' stones in it. One could say that it would be a hollow knight.

* * *

"Let me guess, 7 brides, 7 seals, 7 phases?" Lynn sardonically replies

"For someone that loathes video games you sure know at least a little about them."

Lori retreats and takes off that cringy fursuit as Chris Chan begins summoning undead creatures. Luckily, for our heroes, Chris Chan is an idiot and summoned undead weakened by light, and its around 3:45 PM right now.

_Aššina aššatu kallūtu ewû A'ghor. A du ' ' umiš apu ewû dāpinu ṭeḫû iššû napšutu ammiu__kalūmatu ammar malû annanna, akki qūlu annanna bakû. Akki biblu basi mādu ṣeḫḫeru, annanna iššû ṣeḫḫeru biblu basi illutu ina a agû ai ṣummirāti, aššunu akāšu basi annanna kāšidu. Iššû kanāku ewû "kifenn", ḫašāḫu, akkunu kilallān aššunu ašarēdu annanna iššû ṣeḫḫeru ammar kiāšum ayyu kalūmatu bu ' ' û._

""_Kifenn"_, the seal of longing. The abyss in A'ghor's soul was never filled nor can ever be filled. This too, must be why Chris Chan is attacking us with undead, the majority of which are soulless husks themselves, much like the tragic second bride."

"Are you saying A'ghor is a good person?! She's a progenitor of violent savages and warmongers as befitting of a brood mother of the Scarlet King!"

"Actually, that was the 4th one…"

"Who cares?! Don't give a Freudian excuse to one of the mistresses of the abyss! They are allies of Khahrahk, the bane of all existence! That means they are all evil!"

"Even the seventh one?"

"Yes."

* * *

"Lucy is our resident expert of all things spooky. She must have their weaknesses ingrained within her very being!"

"Pfft, not even worth my time, fire and decapitation for the zombies, ghosts are varied, but usually are weak to other ghosts and evil."

"You heard her, let's turn and burn!"

Leni swaps their weapons with flamethrowers.

"Careful, your clothes are more flammable than the zombies!"

The group starts burning the zombies, while Lucy and Lola frighten the phantasms with their mere presence! But they're not evil, are they? Of particular note is the frequency at which Chris Chan throws the ZC-2599-ACSs. It seems like they come out at a very low frequency.

"Is it me or is ze not even trying anymore?"

"Yeah, this seems weird. Maybe the _kifenn_ seal makes the user feel longing, too?"

"We could kill xir right now!"

"No, it wouldn't work. Those seals are like extra lives to him. The original seals ze's are based off of won't let the brides die, no matter what! The only way this will end if we break these knockoff seals, then kill him."

"Dang, why does this have to be so complicated?"

Despite setting all these zombies on fire, and Lucy and Lola terrifying the ghosts away, Chris Chan seems to summon more of them.

"Ah, this isn't working! Xe's just making more of them! No matter how many we kill, ze just replaces them!"

"This is the longing seal, right? That must mean he's missing **something**."

"But it is impossible to fulfill the longing!"

"For the original, maybe. But what about Chris Chan's knockoff…"

Sigurrós tries a radical plan.

"Boy, stop it!"

Chris Chan is broken out of his longing by see…no, it can't be, could it?

Suddenly, Chris Chan is face to face with the ghosts of his dead parents. His dad, Bob, speaks first.

"Dad?"

"Remember that letter I sent to you in '87? The one about not wasting the stuff I gave you?"

"Yes?"

"Tell me, what did you do with those items I gave you?"

"Well, I did throw some old junk out that got caught in a fire. I think it was some old badges and sashes."

"Those were my Boy Scout memories."

"Yeah, and I sold some random stuff to make money at a garage sale, I think I got rid of a clock, some old tapes, old records, and a few paintings."

Bob is starting to get a little bit irked at his son's wastefulness.

"I also donated a trumpet and a ratty looking teddy bear to Goodwill, I mean, I'm never going to use them, so why not give it to someone that does?"

"That was your grandmother's teddy bear when she was a child. Aren't you even a little bit curious why it was like that in the first place?"

"No. It looked damaged so she must have played rough with it. Honestly, I don't think anyone at Goodwill would want it, so maybe I should have thrown it in the dumpster."

"Did…did…you at least…look at the stamp collection…I worked on so that you could admire, boy?"

"Oh, yeah."

Bob slightly raises his head, maybe his son isn't a complete decadent fucktard that pisses away anything of value! There may be hope for him yet!

"I sold it on eBay for around $250 dollars for video game and food money."

Of course, this is Chris Chan we're talking about, so there's been no hope for him since he was born. And no, it's not because he's autistic, it's because he's delusional to the point he may be schizophrenic (hard to tell) and refuses to see that his actions have consequences. At least Ethan understood this principle, and he's a high functioning autist!

Bob is NOT happy that his son would be this fucking retarded. Even actual autistic people can at least comprehend the fact that some things would have sentimental value in them.

"WHY YOU LITTLE…!"

Bob's ghost tries to strangle Chris Chan for being…well, Chris Chan. But he can't since he's a ghost and just phases through solid matter. When that doesn't work, he tries possessing xir and making zeself slap zir's own head for xe's overindulgent psychopathy.

Bob gets out of Chris Chan's body and begins a tirade on him.

"You Know, Christian. When I heard you were autistic, we tried our best to take care of you. But I realized something."

"What was it?"

"Since all you do is use your autism as a shield for everything, we've been spoiling you your entire life."

"Yes?"

"Since you clearly don't respect anything we've done. We should have kicked you out of the house decades ago. There are a bunch of fine autistic people out there contributing to society and then there's you."

"Hey, I'm at least Internet famous! At least the trolls online shower me with the attention I deserve."

"You're the Internet's biggest joke! I saw you on some "weeaboo compilation" video on YouTube. Yes, they have internet in the afterlife. And I have to say it makes me ashamed that I even am related to you in any way, shape or form."

"Well, Barb kept all of your books and family albums."

"Just as well, Chris. At least she understands the value of things."

"Well, I died recently and he didn't even notice." Barb interjects

"What the…?! How in God's green Earth do you fuck up this bad, son? How do you not notice your mom **being dead**?!"

"She's not dead, she's just sleeping."

"Uh huh, for a few months now?"

"She's trying to beat Rip Van Winkle's record of 20 years!"

"Did you not notice **her corpse rotting **and being **eaten by flies**?"

"She's just being a real-life Halloween decoration."

Ok, now that's just insulting. The group is starting to see why the Internet hates Chris Chan.

"Why couldn't you have turned out like your half-siblings, Christian? You could have been someone! You could have been someone who spread awareness on autism. You could have been a hero to people!"

"I am a hero to people! Look, I managed to become permanent incumbent mayoress! I manage my own city!"

"We all know this place isn't real. Restore our town back to normal."

"No. You'll see, you'll all see! Once the Dimensional Merge happens, all of the evils of the world will be purged from both fiction and reality! Everyone good can come back to life. Stan Lee could come back to life. You guys could come back to life."

"Actually, heaven is pretty nice. We'd prefer to stay dead. You're on your own. It's about time you take responsibility for your insanity, son. I'm sorry it took us this long to realize it."

Bob and Barb's ghosts ascend back into heaven.

"Look, the seal…it's moving erratically!"

The longing seal violently shatters after his dead parents finally stand up to the monster known as Christine Weston Chandler. Everyone is now aware of the depths of Chris' true delusional insanity! Xe casts an incantation and the third seal protects him. The symbol is of two worlds colliding, with a Sonic shaped mushroom cloud in the middle.

* * *

"I'll show you, so called parents! The Dimensional Merge will happen! And by my hand!"

Lori gets a vision.

"I see…something terrible. Everything's coming together."

{Chris Chan| Singularity | TLH-SCP-PTB-1415| Infinite damage}

"What is it, Lori?"

"Chris Chan is going accelerate the Dimensional Merge by a rapid pace! He's going to destroy all dimensions and they'll all be reborn into one!"

_Aššina šalšu kallūtu ewû A'distat. Kalūmatu išû a ba ' ūlu zērūtu aššina aḫātu annanna biblu abātu akkina ṣēr ammar ša akki madādu, annanna karṣē akālu ṣēr qašdu erṣutu. Iššû ṣeḫḫeru garāšu akkunu dabābu aššina irnittu akka ašarēdu, ṭebû naqrabu adi amānu annanna ditallu, bašāšum mūtānu annanna anūnu akkunu tāluku. Iššû kanāku ewû "hezhum", arbūtu, akkunu kalūmatu ewû kapāru erû, annanna adi šir ' u ašši napšutu ewû pašāṭu._

Chris Chan sends out four energy pylons. These pylons seem to be in the shape of the other archons. Each one being one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Libitina just kind of stares at some of the group, occasionally making some of them flinch and stop their current attack, but since they have 14 members in their group, it doesn't really make that much of a difference.

"Ok, we have 224 seconds, or about 4 minutes to stop the Dimensional Merge from rebirthing all dimensions into one!"

""_Hezhum"_, the seal of desolation. Chris Chan is throwing a tantrum to destroy everything, including zirself! If ze succeeds, there'll only be a crunched-up prototype of a universe that can barely even be considered one! We need to destroy stuff to stop Chris Chan from destroying even more stuff, how paradoxical."

"Well, if you can't beat 'em…"

Leni swaps their flamethrowers with diamond swords.

The group rushes at the pylons, targeting the conquest pylon first. Its special trait is that it distorts reality around it. All of the pylons are there to just to accelerate the Dimensional Merge; They can't attack. The group wails on it with their swords and…

The conquest pylon is shredded to bits!

190 seconds till Singularity…

"Wait, this must mean all of the pylons have an oddity to make them harder to destroy!"

"Yeah, so?"

"What could War's pylon trait be?"

Lucy strikes the War pylon and drops dead.

"Well, that answers that question."

Leni tries resurrecting Lucy…surprisingly, it worked and Lucy didn't become a zombie, or suffer any adverse effects!

"That pylon must have an instant death counter! I think I'm the only one that can destroy it without triggering its effect! You guys move on to the Famine pylon!"

Sigurrós slashes the War pylon in two. It wasn't that hard, as the War pylon only has around 600 HP. Her thesis was right, she has near instant death immunity, the only weakness being SCP-148-EN and its byproducts.

120 seconds till Singularity…

The Famine pylon…its special trait is that it can only be destroyed by certain attacks! Anything else will deal zero damage to it! The group learns this pretty early on…

"What the heck? Our attacks are just bouncing off of it!"

Leni enchants her sword with some sort of cosmic energy. She doesn't know what the pylon's weakness is, this is just the first thing that came to her mind. Leni strikes the pylon with her newly enchanted sword and deals 2734 damage with the blow.

"Whoa, what did you do, Leni? You actually chipped some paint off it!"

"I enchanted my sword with celestial energy. Its weakness must be the power of the universe!"

Leni grants Star Power VII to everyone's diamond swords. They easily whittle the Famine pylon into a pile of scrap within a few seconds! Only one pylon left…

72 seconds till Singularity…dimensional stability degrading…

The Death pylon…it has a pathetic, but reliable trait. It just has a heck of a lot of defense and health. Even with 14 people hacking at it, it might take a while to destroy it. Oh, and just in case any cosmic entities are wondering, all pylons are immune to Deus Ex Machina, so Leni or Sigurrós can't just inflict instant death on them. That would be a pretty anticlimactic fight.

Only one thing left to do, whack it until it's scrap and hope there's enough time to destroy it! And so, they do. After what seems like an eternity. The super durable pylon becomes unusable!

10 seconds left till Singularity…hume levels extremely high! Reality is becoming unstable!

The desolation seal shatters as soon as all four pylons are down. Chris Chan is temporarily stunned!

"Now!"

The group charges and tries to deal massive damage to Chris Chan! They manage to reduce xir into just a head and torso! Limbs hacked off in a bloody fashion but Chris Chan recovers before someone could decapitate ze. Xe emits a psychokinetic blast to force all of them off zir.

"Nice try, losers! But even if you decapitate me, I can still regrow body parts, see!"

Chris Chan regrows all of the limbs they managed to chop off, as if they never did any damage to xir!

* * *

Ze generates the next seal. The symbol emblazoned on it appears to be a female reproductive system (with hymen still intact), engorged and inflamed! Even with him becoming a lesbian transwoman mentally, ze is still and will always be a virgin with rage (having phone sex with a prostitute doesn't count as losing your virginity)!

_Aššina rebû kallūtu ewû A'zieb. Kalūmatu išû rapšu annanna ālilu, annanna akṣu akki amāru, ṣibtu aššunu alandimmû akkina a ba ' ūlu umāmu. Iššû ṣeḫḫeru le ' û appitti ašši, annanna adāru ula__arru lā epuštu arratu, akkunu miḫsu ewû bāliṭu, annanna aššunu ḫalīṣu rūqu. Iššû kanāku ewû "ba", kimiltu, akki aḫê iššû zīru kalūmatu ewû dārâ kamû ina qereb tapqirtu._

""_Ba_", the seal of wrath. This is it. The fourth bride, A'zieb's, seal. I'm not sure what this symbol's weakness is. Since this is the wrath symbol, I think Chris Chan is going to be going all out on us! Maybe all we have to do is outlast zir?"

"I heard an urban legend that SCP-682-EN was born from the fourth bride."

"Well, maybe. His past has more multiple choice retcons than the Joker."

The group looks at Chris Chan as ze begins chanting some hateful malediction.

"Well, before xe finishes, I meant to do this before, so…"

"Activate code?" Lisa's device questions.

"Yes. Juliet-Oscar-Romeo-Delta-Alpha-November-Romeo-Oscar-Sierra-Alpha-Tango-Oscar."

"Anime aesthetic activated."

"Oh, now we look cool, thanks Lisa!"

Chris Chan finishes charging ze's attack (while screaming like a Super Saiyan, and looking like xe needs to defecate) and unleashes it!

大火災!

"Oh no, Bob Chandler was right, zir has gone full weeaboo! He just shouted his attack in Japanese, even though it was already translated into English! He's mocking the hard-working localizers by Japanifying his speech!"

"He shouted Dai Kasai, which means "Great Fire"!"

Suddenly, some objects that look like meteors bombard CWCville! If the seal didn't turn everything into a video game, everyone would most assuredly be dead! Everyone just took around 300 damage instead.

"Wait, wasn't that Rain Destruction, Lavos' signature attack from Chrono Trigger™!?"

"I think so."

"Does that mean Chris Chan has all of Lavos' attacks?"

"It's kind of fitting that zir gets the powers of a malignant space parasite, since both Lavos and SCP-682-EN will anything and everything to annihilate this planet."

"It looks like we'll have to fight fire with fire."

Chad used cleave!

Chris Chan takes 1234 damage!

Ethan used explosive shot!

Chris Chan takes 2831 damage!

Lori used rally cry!

All party members' attack rose!

Leni casts cure pulse!

All party members healed to max HP!

Luna used harmonic note!

Chris Chan takes 913 damage!

Luan used trick!

Chris Chan has status immunity! Is unable to be inflicted with confuse!

Lynn used beatdown!

Chris Chan takes 4728 total damage!

Lincoln attacks!

Chris Chan takes 459 damage!

Lucy casts air of unease!

Chris Chan recovered 1293 HP!

Lana casts ice II!

Chris Chan takes 3820 damage!

Lola casts luminaire II!

Chris Chan recovered 6666 HP!

Lisa used analyze!

[Chris Chan (Phase 4)|HP: 80,000| MP: 999 |Techs: Same as Lavos| Counters: None| Weak to fire and water magic| Strong against light and shadow magic]

SCP-239-EN used deus ex machina!

Chris Chan has status immunity! Is unable to be inflicted with instant death!

SCP-706-EN attacks!

SCP-706-EN takes 20 damage!

地震!

"Jishin, Earthquake."

Everyone takes around 250-290 damage!

"Everyone, he's weak against water and fire! Let's keep the damage output going!"

Chad casts fire sword II!

Chris Chan takes 6294 damage!

Ethan used shot!

Chris Chan takes 1730 damage!

Lori casts fire II!

Chris Chan takes 5429 damage!

Leni casts cure pulse!

All party members healed to max HP!

Luna attacks!

Chris Chan takes 781 damage!

Luan casts water II!

Chris Chan takes 7393 damage!

Lynn attacks!

Chris Chan takes 1837 damage!

Lucy defends!

Lincoln casts ice III!

Chris Chan takes 9274 damage!

Chris Chan emits an alien like scream, almost as if ze were Lavos itself! The wrath symbol begins cracking; He does the unthinkable in a turn-based RPG and uses a turn to interrupt the flow of battle! There were like 6 more characters that haven't taken their second turn yet! Chris Chan casts an eerie tech across the battlefield…

地帯の混沌!

"Chitai no Konton, Chaos Zone."

Everyone except Lucy takes around 50-65 HP of damage, while both the SCPs and the guest party members were inflicted with confusion! Chris Chan moves on to the next phase with an opening attack!

真夜中影擁する!

"Mayonaka kage yōsuru, Umbral Embrace."

Everyone except Lucy and the SCPs were poisoned!

Cheater, he got a second turn!

Lana casts ice II!

Chris Chan takes 3894 damage!

Lana takes 36 poison damage!

Lola casts omega flare!

Chris Chan recovered 9999 HP!

Lola takes 55 poison damage!

"Lola! We're supposed to be **killing** Chris Chan, not healing xe!"

"I thought you said he was weak to fire! So, I hit xir with my strongest fire attack!"

"Ze must have gained an immunity to fire!"

"Also, omega flare was shadow type in Chrono Trigger, and he's immune to shadow."

Lisa attacks!

Chris Chan takes 283 damage!

Lisa takes 42 poison damage!

SCP-239-EN casts hardline!

Chris Chan takes 9999 damage!

SCP-706-EN defends!

炎の戦争!

"Honō no sensō, Flames of War."

SCP-706-EN was healed up to max HP!

Chad used the Blue Shell!

Chris Chan takes 9999 damage!

Chad takes 57 poison damage!

And yet again, Chris Chan interrupts the flow of battle by attacking after letting out a Lavos shriek. Luckily, unlike the true third phase of Lavos, xe copied the sucky Right Pod, which barely has any attacks! The wrath symbol cracks even further!

時間変化!

"Jikan Henka, Temporal Shift."

The dimension distorts to show what looks like prehistory…

Ethan attacks!

Chris Chan takes 482 damage!

Ethan takes 60 poison damage!

Lori casts fire II!

Chris Chan takes 3831 damage!

Lori takes 81 poison damage!

Leni casts depower!

All of the party's status effects were healed!

Luna attacks!

Chris Chan takes 592 damage!

Luan casts water II!

Chris Chan takes 7391 damage!

Lynn attacks!

Chris Chan takes 1512 damage!

Lucy casts dark bomb!

Chris Chan takes 2912 damage!

Lincoln casts water I!

Chris Chan takes 3193 damage!

Lana casts ice II!

Chris Chan takes 4141 damage!

Lola casts flare!

Chris Chan takes 6767 damage!

Chris Chan emits another Lavos shriek as the wrath symbol violently shatters into a million pieces! The dimension is restored back to normal. Chris Chan throws something! The object imbeds itself into Lola.

"Say, do you guys feel any liquid, or is it just me?"

The screen pans and shows the object that struck her, a ZC-2599-ACS just delivered the cure into Lola! She doesn't have access to her cool SCP-106-EN powers anymore! She can be killed by extreme blunt force trauma, acid, fire and the old reliable method of a single bullet to the head!

"Lola, take 706-EN and get out of here. The vaccine made you extremely vulnerable, find some cover away from the battle!"

Lola obliges, and escorts SCP-706-EN away from the battle!

_Aššina ḫamāšiu kallūtu ewû A'nuht. Kalūmatu ewû pagālu akki muḫḫu ša anšu akki pagru. Iššû ṣeḫḫeru ewû apkallu akkunu aššunu alāk pāni aššunu epuštu, annanna banû ba ' ūlu tasriḫtu. Ū aššum aššunu dunnu, agannû ašarēdu ḫummuru aššunu, an aššanu ina danāni ai seḫû al aššu. Iššû kanāku ewû "ner", maṭû, akki iššû ṣummû annanna ṣummû aššunu iššû ṣeḫḫeru ewû matimeni šebû._

Chris Chan generates a fifth barrier…which shatters by itself in less than a Planck second. There wasn't even a symbol for this seal…or the fifth phase of the boss fight. Geeze, both Chris Chan and the idiot who wrote this had a complete lack of forethought…

* * *

And so, xe generates the sixth seal! This seal's symbol depicts…nothing! What people don't know about this seal, is that it actually has a symbol of SCP-035-EN in both his tragic and comedic faces at the same time (a state us intellectuals refer to as tragicomedy), having that corrosive black stuff oozing out of his eye and mouth holes, surrounded by bells. The only way to get it to appear is if you see it from a different perspective.

_Aššina šeššu kallūtu ewû A'tellif. Kalūmatu awûm ai annanna kullu ramanša parsu. Iššû ṣeḫḫeru šinītu aššunu pānu annannu akāšu ammār ai amāru, annanna dâlu qanni nabnītu ḫalluḫum. Aššanu petû ispillurtu birti adnāti, annanna epšu akânu akka qablu akka nepelkû. Iššû kanāku ewû, "usheq", katmu, akkunu kalūmatu ewû ḫalqu akkunu ṣillu._

""_usheq_", this word means "hidden" in the ancient language; However, the seal has been referred to by expert eschatologists studying the Scarlet King Khahrahk and his lore as the seal of secrets or the seal of shadows. A'tellif's faction consists of malicious reality benders that spread Khahrahk's war against creation across dimensions."

"No wonder the GOC has a kill order on Type Greens. They may be children of the sixth bride. Personally, I think this faction is the most dangerous!"

"We may have to defeat Chris Chan in a **different perspective** to break this knockoff seal."

"How?"

Leni conjures up a red bell. She rings it, revealing several green bells. However, there are also these strange creatures that appear to be bleeding black blood. Their faces are covered in masks which ooze this strange substance. The symbol fully reveals itself in this state.

"Leni, what did you do?"

"It's called a Negative Dweller Bell. When its rung, anything within its radius is temporarily in our existence. As the ring fades, so to does the radius. Ring it again to reset its effect."

"So, those green bells…"

"Those are Positive Dweller Bells, they bring things in our existence temporarily into their world."

Leni creates a kitsune mask.

"Dweller Masks like this one also grants the ability to see in these states, but it is also temporary."

Lana takes the Dweller Mask and activates it. Unlike the original Dweller Mask, this one sees in negative red instead of positive green! She can see the six bells around the area. The radius slowly shrinks back and the state of the battlefield reverts to normal.

"And those creatures…?"

"I think they function like SCP-178-1-EN, they're docile until touched. If you touch them, they will attack you and won't stop until you're dead!"

"So, ringing the Positive Dweller Bells might force the seal into existence! Then we can break it!"

Leni gives half of the group NDBs and the other half NDMs. Activating them, they sneak around these shadowy husks and begin ringing the bells. Ringing the six bells in synchronicity, the seal of shadows becomes visible in their reality. Continuous ringing of the bells causes the seal to slowly crack and break. Eventually, after ringing the PDBs enough times, the seal falls apart and the dweller dimension fades out of existence. Leni resets all of their equipment back to normal. No more bells, masks, weapons or personal enchantments! Only Chad and Ethan have their weapons.

* * *

Chris Chan generates the seventh and final seal. This symbol depicts Chris Chan as the Father, Son and Holy Ghost all in one. Even if Chris Chan a delusional false god, this is still blasphemy! His narcissistic egotism knows no bounds! Ze decides to double down and use only ZC-2599-ACSs at the group!

_Aššina sebû kallūtu ewû A'habbat. Kalūmatu ewû ad apadu annanna akû akkina sebe, u kalūmatu ewû ai ḫepû aḫê aššunu ašarēdu, annanna ewû zīru aḫê iššû kamîš. Iššû ṣeḫḫeru dâlu ṣēr šinā ḫallani, annanna ula šagapīru bāʾeru annanna mu ' āru: kalūmatu lummudu aššunu ina parsu, tukultu ammītu aššanu mindēma gamāru annanna ṣeḫḫeru aššina iššû aḫātu annanna magguru agannû ašarēdu. Aššanu šina ēṣu, annanna aššanu ḫīṭāni. Iššû kanāku ewû "xokib", puqqu, akkunu kalūmatu ewû arratu edû aššunu ayyu iššû ammāmin ai kišittu._

"As long as hope exists, you'll never destroy my new world order! Now, die!"

Chris Chan begins attacking the group by throwing several vaccines at them.

""_Xokib_", the seal of hope. How can there be hope in the multiverse if merely existing is painful?! This is Khahrahk's quandary. There has to be something that can break hope, but if even the Scarlet King himself couldn't break his own curse on A'habbat, what could?"

"We need to counter hope with its polar opposite!"

"Ok, what is the opposite of hope?"

"Despair?"

…

"Actually, you may be right! We need to cause despair to break the seal of hope!"

"Ok, so we just need to recreate the March 13th incident."

"We need **Chris Chan **to feel despair, not **Lincoln**!"

"Maybe we need something that evokes despair…"

"I think maybe a music track would suffice. I've heard this track before, but I'm nowhere near as good as the master himself."

The seal flashes from orange to purple and back to orange again in a split second.

Luna begins playing a rocking track of despair. Maybe a Danganronpa track will flood the area with despair, enough to disrupt the seal of hope!

"Look at the seal!"

The seal turns from orange to purple. It stays purple this time.

"The seal is a different color! All of the other seals were orange, but _xokib_ changed into purple! Maybe the seal is down!"

Leni says something to Sigurrós, which prompts her to go over to where Lola and SCP-706-EN are hiding out. She meets up with the duo.

* * *

"Ok, we all know that every time we inflict any sort of damage on Chris Chan, ze just heals xirself."

"Yeah, your point?"

"The only way we'll be able to win is to depower Chris Chan and return xe to normal!"

"Chris Chan was never normal."

"You know what we mean, we remove zir's god powers."

Sigurrós generates a crossbow like firearm and hands it and a syringe of the purple liquid to her.

"You're from Texas, right? Now's the time to be a crack shot. Shoot the vaccine into ze and we'll stop the acceleration of the Dimensional Merge! Leni and the others will distract ze. Once there's a clear shot, fire!"

SCP-706-EN nods.

Back at the battlefield, the main group begins attacking xe, knowing it is futile. Luckily, Luna playing a despairing song has nullified the seal of hope so that Chris Chan can be damaged! Too bad, xe will just heal all of the damage off!

"Come on, give me a clear shot…"

The group keeps attacking xir.

"I can't fire if Chris Chan staring at us! They'd just Deus Ex Machina the vaccine away if ze saw it!"

"Ok, I'll tell Leni."

Sigurrós generates two walkie-talkies like devices. One for her and the other pops into existence in front of Leni.

"Leni, get zir to face away from us! If Chris Chan sees the vaccine, xe will just poof it out of existence!"

Got it.

Leni gives a coded plan to reorient Chris Chan so that ze is facing away from where 706-EN will fire at him.

"I hope we aren't far enough…"

"I think it's time."

"It's time to take your medicine, crazy guy!"

SCP-706-EN pulls the trigger, sending the vaccine through the air like a speeding bullet! Within 15 seconds, the vaccine penetrates Chris Chan's back as it delivers its payload into ze's bloodstream.

"Huh, my powers…where are they?"

Ze looks behind xirself and sees a ZC-2599-ACS syringe in xe's back.

"No, my powers!"

The Tyrant Goddess has had 50% of the serum injected into them.

"I won't go down so easily! I'll summon your greatest weakness!"

Ze uses the last of his god powers to summon a gangly creature about 8 feet tall and freakishly long arms. Oh no. Xe manages to summon SCP-096-EN back into this universe as ze falls to the ground, having lost all xir's power.

"Guys, stand back! I have Deus Ex Machina powers! If anyone can look at it and not get [DATA EXPUNGED] it's me."

Sigurrós heard everything on the other end of the walkie-talkie and teleports in front of them.

"239-EN, what are you doing?!"

"Everyone, get away! I'm one of the few things that can survive an expungement from 096-EN! If I look at it, it will only try to expunge me, you guys can escape to safety while I lead the creature far away from civilization!"

The rest of the group gets far away from where SCP-096-EN is going to spawn, while Sigurrós stays behind to see the creature before anyone else does. Lynn and SCP-706-EN have a conversation.

"That shot was amazing!"

"I didn't think I'd be able to do it."

"If you didn't manage to inject xir, we'd be fighting forever."

"You know, facing my fear made me realize you were right."

"I was right?"

"Yeah. That song you sung…want to finish it, together?"

"I'd be glad to."

_You can lift your head up to the sky  
Take a deeper breath and give it time  
You can walk the path among the lines  
With your shattered frame of mind_

_Withstand, you could always stay  
We can wait right here and play  
Until somehow you can find  
A slightly better frame of mind_

_And when daylight comes through  
When the day is anew  
Then it will be time  
For a new frame of mind_

_When all eyes are on you  
You will know what to do  
Since you would have found  
Your new frame of mind_

_When you lift your head up to the sky  
Take a deeper breath and give it time  
You can walk the path among the lines_

_But always know that you'll be safe  
I'll be here throughout your days  
Come find me and we will play_

* * *

"Hyper regeneration! Perfect defense!"

Sigurrós powers herself up with SCP-682-EN's defensive abilities. Might as well have this as a backup in case 096-EN can somehow change its arms and mouth to SCP-148-EN.

The gangly dude emerges and, upon seeing Sigurrós, gets into its crying/freak out phase. Sigurrós takes this opportunity to teleport far away in the center of a secluded forest far away from any humans! Two minutes later and it begins trying to run to where she is. SCP-096-EN does both its normal run and a Naruto run to the target location. All while City Escape from Crush40 punctuates the mood.

_Woo! Oh, yeah!_

_Rolling around at the speed of sound  
Got places to go, gotta follow my rainbow  
Can't stick around, have to keep movin' on  
Guess what lies ahead, only one way to find out_

_Must keep on movin' ahead  
No time for guessin', follow my plan instead  
Trusting in what you can't see  
Take my lead, I'll set you free_

_Follow me - set me free - trust me  
And we will escape from the city  
I'll make it through, follow -  
Follow me - set me free - trust me  
And we will escape from the city  
I'll make it through, prove it to you  
Follow me_

_Oh, yeah!_

_Danger is lurking around every turn  
Trust your feelings, gotta Live and Learn  
I know with some luck that I'll make it through  
Got no other options, only one thing to do_

_I don't care what lies ahead  
No time for guessin', follow my plan instead  
Find that next stage no matter what that may be  
Take my lead, I'll set you free_

_Follow me - set me free - trust me  
And we will escape from the city  
I'll make it through, follow -  
Follow me - set me free - trust me  
And we will escape from the city  
I'll make it through, prove it to you  
Follow me_

_Follow me  
I'll make it through_

_Oh, yeah_

SCP-096-EN rushes to the center of the secluded forest at Mach [READACTED], which is [REDACTED] kilometers per hour! The resulting shockwave upon initial contact did some damage to even the mightiest of trees! Normally, the shockwave of even 35 kilometers per hour minimum from the breaker of laws would at least break something of his victim's without even getting into the [DATA EXPUNGED]! If the kilometer force shockwave doesn't kill 096-1-EN, then the [DATA EXPUNGED] from 096-EN will!

Sigurrós conjures a bladed weapon…the fated battle is at hand! One of these super dangerous anomalies are going to be terminated today! Let's just hope it's 096-EN that dies. The stakes are simultaneously the lowest and highest they've ever been! Lowest because we all know Sigurrós won't die, but highest because once 096-EN gets bored of attacking her for 27 hours straight, it will abort mission and some other numbnut who doesn't have Deus Ex Machina powers will find him, record him, and an XK class end of the world scenario would happen!

The beast rushes at her, its freakishly long arms breaking the air around it to kill its target!

"You know, you've hurt a lot of people…civilians, death row inmates, researchers, MTFs…the bloodshed is going to end someday, and that day's today!"

Sigurrós cleanly slices off SCP-096-EN's arms off! It's main killing implements neutralized. That blade must be vorpal, since SCP-096-EN is durable enough to take absolutely no damage to a **fucking tank shell being fired at it**!

"For this dimension and the prime canon, I will take you apart, bit by bit, molecule by molecule, atom by atom, fermion by fermion!"

SCP 096-EN vainly tries to rush her, she dodges and hacks off its legs with a deft strike. Its body falls to the floor and even as a torso and head, the gangly dude tries to swallow her whole with its massive jaw! Sigurrós responds by decapitating it at the mandible, splitting the bloodlusty homicidal entity into six pieces.

Since Sigurrós isn't insane to try and split the over 7 octillion atoms making up SCP-096-EN, she decides to store each body piece in a separate canister, destroy the fermions using said canister and sending the canisters off to space to release the massive amount of energy from destroying them.

In something straight out of Spooktober, even though SCP-096-EN has been split apart with Sigurrós' Fermion Splitter, its urge to kill has seemingly reanimated its body parts. The arms take a page out of SpongeBob and try and strangle her. The arms lunge up hoping to strike…

And Sigurrós captures them easily. What did you expect from something that doesn't have a brain…or any neurons, for that matter?

The head tries to eat her…but since it was severed at the lower jaw, all it can do is kind of try and gum her to death…another easy capture.

After that, the torso and legs can't really do much. All six parts were captured.

"Your story won't end with a bang…"

She pushes the "split" button on the canisters. In a flash, all of 096-ENs body parts were vaporized into pure energy. She ends the parts into space and releases several gigatons of energy. The canisters release the energy and…

Nothing happens.

Space is a vacuum, it just sucked up all of the energy. The canisters disappear from existence.

"But with a whimper."

* * *

Sigurrós teleports back to CWCville where the rest of the group are waiting.

"Sig, you're alive! Does that mean…"

"096-EN has been terminated."

"I didn't think it was possible. Not even one of those overpowered Mary Sue characters could do that!"

"No, if I was a Mary Sue, I'd be able to destroy SCP-682-EN by blinking. Now that I think about it, thanks to its adaptability, SCP-682-EN would technically be a Mary Sue."

"Weird."

"So, what did I miss while I was off killing that thing?"

"Well, the Virginia police department heard about Chris Chan replacing Ruckersville with CWCville and arrived on the scene as soon as we breached Sector Ζ. They couldn't really do anything about a criminal with god powers, so they let us handle it."

The scene cuts to the police arresting Chris Chan.

"You've done it now, crazy guy! You now have 1200 counts of murder (and those are just for the humans, thankfully those Sonichu abominations don't count) and 1 crime against humanity for trying to destroy the universe."

"It doesn't matter what you do to me. Even when I lose, the people here still worship me as their god! They'll see this great battle and immortalize me in martyrdom!"

"Chris Chan, you are to serve 400 life sentences + 50 years for both Thanos snapping everyone in your hometown and for attempting to destroy the world. But since you are clearly an insane lunatic. The judge of neighboring Dawsonville has agreed to lock you up in an insane asylum for the rest of your life!"

"You fucking Jerkops will never take me alive, you hear me! This is a miscarriage of justice! I'll have all of your badges!"

The police inject zir with valium, knocking the lunatic out. They put ze in handcuffs and load xir into a police cruiser and drive them to the nearest loony bin. Good riddance.

"So now what? The Anomalous Bursts are still happening, aren't they?"

"Yes. But since Chris Chan has been stopped and the threat of the Dimensional Merge is over, the interdimensional gateways should stabilize and things will stop leaking into other dimensions."

"But what about the carnage here? Can Ruckersville ever be restored?"

"Yes, I'm sure the dimension will find a way to clean itself up."

Leni and Sigurrós revert CWCville back into what used to be Ruckersville.

"We don't know the people Chris Chan removed, so I'm not sure if we can unremove them. Even still, a new town should flourish here after the Tyrant Goddess' defeat."

"As a part of the dimension healing itself, all of the stuff Chris Chan created with his god powers have vanished back into the aether. No more minigun array, even Libitina vanished once we took away his powers. The vaccines were made from his powers, and they disappeared, too!"

"So, does that mean I can get my anomalous powers back?"

"Actually Lola, we were never meant to have these powers in the first place. I assume they'd gradually fade away as the dimension repairs itself back to its previous state before all of this interdimensional craziness started."

"And the SCPs we destroyed? Does that mean 096-EN would respawn back in the prime canon?"

"Well, I wouldn't know about that. For now, let's just go home."

Leni conjures up a portal and the group heads back home.

"Oh yeah, thanks for helping us save the world, guys. We're in your debt."

"No problem."

"It was fun."

Sigurrós sends Chad and Ethan back to where they belong.

* * *

_I bet you were wondering what happened afterwards. Well, it wasn't good…there are some things that even the dimension can't fix. _

_Remember those Ruckersville residents that Chris Chan Thanos snapped out of existence when he replaced Ruckersville with CWCville? Yeah, those 1200 people are for all intents and purposes, dead. They never came back. Not even Deus Ex Machina could bring them back, and even if we could, their memories would be restarted prior to change and then continue as normal. I think Avengers: Endgame could explain it better than I ever could._

_The universe also can't revive dead people, so…our parents are still dead, and since I don't want to risk a zombie apocalypse or a pandemic of adultism, chose not to revive them for the betterment of humanity. Of course, you could probably guess what happened next._

_It happened at the PTA meeting at Royal Woods Elementary. I wasn't there, but Linky told me the gist of it. They were panicking that since both our parents are dead, then Principal Huggins would call CPS and…_

_He was exactly right. Despite pleading and begging not to tell them, he still did. Huggins was always a stickler for rules, you see. Anyways, once CPS was notified, they practically raided our homes and forced the younger ones into foster care. Only Lori and I made it out alive. Of course, now is the time she decides to move in with Bobby and start her new life there while we are in the midst of a familial chaos! Even though its for the best, I still feel terrible._

_239-EN, 706-EN and 085-EN all managed to return to the prime canon, even though some of them didn't want to. Considering how the Foundation runs its operations, I don't blame them. Sigurrós was actually crying about having to go back, but this is how the way it ends. You can't change the narrative…and the SCP narratives, all 36 of them need a 239-EN in them._

_All anomalous powers faded away within two months of stopping Chris Chan. The dimension has returned to relative normalcy. At least Chris Chan is in an insane asylum for the rest of ze's life, where xe belongs._

* * *

_Yeah, its me, djkaktus. Now I'll tell you what happened in the prime canon._

_As for SCPs that were destroyed, like SCP-513-EN-ARC and SCP-096-ARC as well as SCP-572-EN-D. Those stayed destroyed. _

_Oh, you wanted to know how SCP-572-EN-D was terminated? Well, we brought it to the Japanese branch of the Foundation. See, we thought that since 572-EN-D was a toy katana that made the wielder act like a weeaboo, we wanted to see what would happen if SCP-2016-JP, Kaede for the weebs that remember that chapter, would sing George Miller's "Weeaboo Song". We thought that if a pureblooded Japanese person, which Kaede is, since all but one Danganronpa character is Japanese, sung the song, maybe the katana would lose its weeaboo powers. It worked a little too well and the piece of crap shattered in two upon hearing her sing the complete song! At least the pieces of it don't turn people into weebs anymore._

_Speaking of Kaede, since she's from Danganronpa and not the SCP Foundation, once the dimensions started correcting themselves. Kaede was whisked away back to her dimension. Green was pissed, but when is she not?_

_All other SCPs were brought back to us inter-dimensionally from TLH-SCP-PTB-1415. The ones off the top of my head that I can remember are the gender switcher and the atrocity skull. Heard that one somehow made it to Cambodia! Must have been a heck of a journey!_

_Well, __Δ__ Command raided the Foundation. We lost a few __Α__1 members but the raid didn't really go anywhere. Upon questioning some of the Chaos Insurgency members, we found out about O5-11 being a plant and the council promptly had him executed. _

_As for Sophia? Some of the Insurgency attacked Site-17. They too were obliterated by __Ε__11, but they did give her some weapons. Weird that the Chaos Insurgency would help an O5…so, the Foundation did some digging and found evidence of foul play by O5-7. She's been demoted to monitoring SCP-682-EN, they're both beasts that crave destruction, so I'm sure they'll get along well._

_Word got back of SCP-239-EN terminating SCP-096-EN. While she was congratulated for her work, Doctor Clef still hasn't abandoned his quest to eliminate her from existence. As for 239-EN? She's reclassified as Euclid and is actually training to become a White Wing. Right now, she is a member of __Α__9._

_Are you confused about those? Well, it works like this. Thaumiel class SCPs are used to either help humanity by safeguarding them, a White Wing, or by eradicating threats, anomaly or human, that threaten coexistence between the two groups, a Black Wing. I'm not sure they're going to let her in since she's Euclid class, but it doesn't hurt to dream._

_Well, I'd better continue to monitor Doctor Clef, he still has a vendetta against 239-EN for the bird incident and me from preventing him from killing her, which would have caused a metanarrative collapse. I heard he was going to try to send Samsara after her…_

_Just remember that this is the way it ends._

* * *

**Author's Note: And that is it for the main story! Just a few afterthoughts...**

**Originally, the Akkadian was going to be Ugaritic but was changed since Ugaritic is even more fractured than Akkadian. Note that the ancient language is similar to but is not Akkadian, it was translated into Akkadian, then was localized into English as seen in Dust and Blood.**

**The Japanese attacks used by Chris Chan in the Chrono Trigger fight were mostly kept intact, with some exceptions. Chitai no Konton literally translates to "Zone of Chaos" so it was simplified to Chaos Zone, which is the actual name of the attack in Chrono Trigger. ****Mayonaka kage yōsuru, literally translates to "Midnight Shadow's Embrace", which sounds cooler, but the name of the attack in Chrono Trigger is "Umbral Embrace".**

**While the main story is over, there could possibly be some omakes in the future...**


End file.
